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Yeah, that's the one. No one else claimed it, so I did. I might even bump it up the list. It should be a relatively easy mission with lots to poke fun at. I just have to decide whether Hermione is replaced or just thoroughly possessed. Eragon is probably in character except for having no memory of his actual life, but I haven't finished reading the fic yet.

~Neshomeh

Hurray! Happy 17, and congratulations! In my opinion, 17 is when things really start getting good. Screw 16.

(But remember: The cake is a LIE. DO NOT BE FOOLED.)

...and a steamboat. Painted white, just waiting for you to name it so they can put up some massive letters. :D

*hands around the Convenient Cake*

You were talking about PPCing the Hermione/Eragon one, right? I got a little confused there.

And no, I'm quite sure that most people wouldn't enjoy the Twilight books. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I like it, however mildly.

Thank you!

And I'm sure I can cause someone serious physical harm with this bottle cap if I put lots of effort into it. Thanks!

Happy birthday!

Unfortunately, I am very good at making them up, and have accumulated quite a collection pending destruction. Here are some of them.


Lavina Roslin, 29, Human, female
Crown, Summon Sibling—Immediately ensnare alleged sister Laura Roslin.
Attack: XX
Defence: XXX
Speed: XX
Observation: XX
Allure: XXX
Special: XXX


Lillian Sairlonde Morgana Potter, 11, Witch, female
Pendant, Cute Animal Friend—Can call upon her cat Sarafyna for help.
Attack: XX
Defence: XXX
Speed: XXX
Observation: X
Allure: XXX
Special: XXX


Elina Gregorovitch, 17, Witch, female
Dagger, Made-Up Spell—Her so-called “extensive magic knowledge” gives her attack 2 points in the form of an original spell. (+2 attack)
Attack: XXX
Defence: XX
Speed: XX
Observation: X
Allure: XXXX
Special: XXX


Iendil Ancawen, 21, Elf, female
Crown, Seemingly Innocent—Demure and innocent appearance gives her +2 allure; promiscuous personality earns her the nearest male Canon.
Attack: XXX
Defence: XX
Speed: XXX
Observation: X
Allure: XXXX
Special: XX


Madeline Bellerose, 14, human, female
Crown, Oui je parle le français—Use of French befuddles enemies and gives her +1 attack.
Attack: X
Defence: XXX
Speed: XX
Observation: XX
Allure: XXXX
Special: XXX


Maria Suzene, 10, human, female
Pendant, Magic Mirror—Sparkly refractions and ego-inflating comments respectively give her +1 attack and +2 allure.
Attack: XX
Defence: XXX
Speed: XX
Observation: XX
Allure: XXXX
Special: XX


Míriel Starrett-Greenleaf, 18, half-elf, female
Necklace, Summon Brother—If Richard Starrett-Greenleaf is in play, Míriel can summon him to help her.
Attack: XX
Defence: XX
Speed: XXX
Observation: X
Allure: XXXX
Special: XX


Richard Starrett-Greenleaf, 11, half-elf, male
Dagger, Dubious Parentage—If Lori Starrett and Legolas are in play, Richard can lure them regardless of fandom.
Attack: XX
Defence: XX
Speed: XXX
Observation: XX
Allure: XXX
Special: XX


Eryssa Calendiriel, 15, wood nymph, female
Ring, Control Plants—If she is anywhere near a plant (Flowers included) or at a location with any organism from the kingdom Plantae, double her next attack or defence.
Attack: XXX
Defence: XX
Speed: XXX
Observation: X
Allure: XXXX
Special: XX


Maria Constaniella White, 21, human, female
Pendant, Master of Disguise—Enables her to escape immediately to another location in the same fandom
Attack: XX
Defence: XXX
Speed: XX
Observation: XX
Allure: XXX
Special: XXX


Rowena Whyte, 16, human, female
Tiara, Mysterious Tragic Past—For one turn, +1 to her defence for every Canon held as they swear to her that they will protect her.
Attack: XX
Defence: XX
Speed: XX
Observation: XXX
Allure: XXXX
Special: XX


Starr Prettyprettyprincess, 13, human, female
Crown, Tears of Resurrection—Bring back any previously killed Mary Sue card.
Attack: XXX
Defence: XX
Speed: XX
Observation: X
Allure: XXXXX
Special: XX

Actually, Iendil and Starr are from crazyroninchic's LotR 'Sue parodies: "I Blame Iendil Ancawen Entirely" and "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around". My Inner Suethor *smacks Inner Suethor with a copy of LotR* created the rest. It's interesting what you come up with when you use these dollmakers...

You can charge for the misspelling with extra venom, considering that the writer should at least be able to spell their own characters' names, but other than that, not much happens. I suppose in extreme cases you could end up with two different characters, but I don't think I've seen such a thing.

~Neshomeh

Of course, there is another referencing system, which is where we get World One (ie, the Real World).

As I recall from (read: I've just checked) Tawaki's mission 29, the long version is the Despatch Continuum Identification Code, presumably usually used internally by Despatch, who need to be precise about these things. The World One etc version seems to be used primarily by the DES. Both of them are apparently gaining more currency (New Caledonia has been described several times as in World One, I think, and obviously Tawaki's used the long form) but I don't think either of them are standard.

My current theory is that the DES are numbering worlds which have doors to HQ (with Earth being World One out of courtesy; presumably Origin was World Zero), while Despatch are trying to be organised about it. Most of the rest of the PPC doesn't care either way.

However, as stated, that's just how I'm mentally rationalising it. It may be right, it may be wrong.

hS

Have a pencil sharpener and... um... a metal bottle cap. It's shiny and it has sharp edges. That's good, right?

^_~

~Neshomeh

I'm pretty sure I want one of my Agents to be a Sammie from Discworld, but I'm not sure where the other would come from. The archetype I'm going for with him is an older character, coming up on middle aged, who is legendarily unsquickable, responding to every situation with a raised eyebrow, and nothing more. I'm thinking I'll take on some of the worst fics if I actually get round to writing for the PPC, as it seems I just don't get squicked by words. Thus, it seems a useful trait for an Agent working in that field to have.

So, where do you think he should hail from?

An author misspells one of their created lesser characters' names? And is it a charge? I can't seem to find anything about it on the Wiki...

That's right! Today, on the 8th of January, yours truly turns seventeen years old. *bows*





So... Cake?

Eep, I was mocking Twilight, because it sucks, and that is a very weak pun. Hehe. Just wanted to get that straight.

Thanks for the praise. I'm working on the next, much shorter one right now. Want to beta it?

And that's not entirely certain. Mostly it depends on whether or not Alex goes crazy or not in the next two missions...

Nice job. Very nicely killed.

...um. I don't really have much to say... I was entertained, which is good...

Oh, yes. Looking forward to seeing what happens~ somehow, I get the feeling these two are stuck, no matter how they try. ^_^

Locations:

Place: the Aoi-ya
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: Building
The Oniwabanshu may be found here.

Place: the East Sea Road
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: er, Plain, I guess
The Persistent Policeman may be found here.

Place: the Hakusan Shrine
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: Hill
Sword Hunter Cho may be found here.

Place: Hiko's Mountain
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: Mountain
Hiko Seijuro may be found here.

Place: Kyoto
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: City

Place: the Maekawa Dojo
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: Building
Maekawa-sensei may be found here.

Place: Shingetsu Village
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: City
Senkaku may be found here.

Place: Tsukayama Garden
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Terrain: Plain?
Isurugi Raijuta may be found here.

Monsters:

Monster: The Oniwabanshu
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found in the Aoi-ya.
Stats:
Attack- 3
Defense- 5
Health- 5

Monster: Persistent Policeman
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found on the East Sea Road.
Stats:
Attack- 2
Defense- 6
Health- 4

Monster: Sword Hunter Cho
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found at the Hakusan Shrine.
Stats:
Attack- 4
Defense- 3
Health- 3

Monster: Hiko Seijuro
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found on Hiko's Mountain.
Stats:
Attack- 5
Defense- 5
Health- 4

Monster: Maekawa-sensei
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found at the Maekawa Dojo.
Stats:
Attack- 3
Defense- 2
Health- 3

Monster: Senkaku
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found at Shingetsu Village.
Stats:
Attack: 4
Defense: 2
Health: 3

Monster: Isurugi Raijuta
Picture:
Fandom: Anime
Species: Human
May be found at the Tsukayama Garden.
Stats:
Attack- 4
Defense- 3
Health- 3

I don't think the others want to read Suefic here, even if it is intentionally bad.

You make a good point about the Sue and Stu labels being too widely applied. It doesn't sound like the Twilight books are ones that I'll ever really enjoy, though. I much prefer my romance to be secondary to another plot.

Interestingly enough, I noticed that that other fic by the same author, the Hermione/Eragon one, actually shows vestiges of what would be excellent characterization if it weren't for the fact that the character in question is Hermione. She sounds exactly like your average American teenager, her parents sound like parents, etc. The dad goes over the top, but that's not unheard of in real life. It's like she just took her own experiences and applied Hermione's name and appearance. Also, she clearly uses a spellchecker. She just doesn't know which words she actually wants. Very interesting.

I'm still going to PPC the story at some point, though. The spelling errors are just too funny to pass up.

~Neshomeh

My short review of the twilight book.

(My Twilight movie review, from two weeks ago.)

I've tried to be fair, but personal opinion will always shine through.

... that the only concrete decision we'd reached was that Caspian would never say 'cock'?

I'm still in favour of euphemisms. Euphemisms all the way!