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would be hilarious.

*has this vision of Tolkien MSTing LOTR badfic*

It would make me unbelievably happy. <3 'Cause it would mean that other people liked my characters as much as I did. I'd probably dance around and *squee* for a while. Not a fangirl squee, though; the happy-beyond-belief squee. There's a distinct difference. *nods*

Goodfic would be even more awesome, though I might have to point the PPC at the badfic. <3 Or spork it myself. Which would be funny.

... that at work it's all red and at home it's all blue. Only difference I know is that work uses IE and I use Firefox at home.

...if any of us were to get published, what would you think of fanfiction (of any calibre) of your universe? Would you go McCaffreyish and reject the very idea, or would you welcome it, frequent forums, talk to fans?

I have no words for how flattered I'd be if I found out that people were writing fic (preferably goodfic) of one of my fictional creations. Finding out that people liked it enough to PPC for it would make me *faint*, srsly.

Let's think... This could be quite interesting. Wonderful idea.


Dear fanfiction author,

Really. If you honestly think this situation is plausible, I recommend re-reading my book(s). Several times if necessary.

I ask you to then remind yourself that this is my world, and I am gracious enough to let you play in it. Continue as you are, and that permission may soon be revoked - reading this "story", and I use the term loosely, was almost physically painful.

Also, spelling and grammar are not an optional part of writing. Your English teachers must have despaired of you, and your math and history teachers probably weren't far behind.

Enclosed are the largest dictionary and thesaurus I could find. MAKE USE OF THEM.

Regards,

Me. <3

And as for the PPC...

Greetings, PPC-ers; I commend the brave agents who took on [story name], and thank you for your dedication to your Duty.

I think certain of my Canons are about to acquire an instinctive trust for people with DMS and DBS flash-patches.

Keep it up; you're slowly making the internet a better place.

Regards,

Me.

[Enclosed, an autographed, collector's-edition box set.]

But it was just too cruel to unleash upon the people of Egypt, no matter how stupid their pharoah was being.

*has been on Prince of Egypt kick lately* :P

What I'd say to a badficcer depends on what the main "bad" part of the fic was. Bad SPAG a la "legolas"? Anatomy fail a la the Spear Incident? Unintentional creepiness a la "soulless shell"'s seventeen-year-old who behaves like a seven-year-old?

What I'd say to the PPC is easy, though:

"Hi, guys. It's me. Just called to tell you that ... well, that badfic you recently sporked? Actually, I wrote that and posted it anonymously as an experiment. I wanted to see how bad I could make it before people stopped telling me it was great. They love it. I'm scared. Hug me now."

…DoSAT can cannibalize all the spambots for spare parts.

To the badficcer:

The book they're screwing up from. And the words "Read it again" printed and underlined in neat handwriting on the first page.


To the PPCer:

Autographed book.

Dear Badficcer,

Congratulations. Due to your efforts, my carefully planned timeline is now so thoroughly off-track that all your favorite characters are going to die and the world is doomed to fall into the gaping plothole you left behind, implode, and cease to have ever existed. Yes, you read that right.

I hope you're happy.

~Neshomeh

Dear PPCer(s),

Thank the Powers! You have no idea how grateful I am--the lawyers would never have got there in time to fix that mess! Thank you a thousand times over for saving my world. You rock.

~Neshomeh

Hey, we're not that bad. /b/ isn't the whole of 4chan.

I like the cooking, animals, and paranormal boards, though, so I may be biased. There's only so many horrible things you can do to lentils.

awful timing. I blew in in the middle of your spam crisis, looking around at places I used to lurk such a long time ago.

But hooray! All is not lost, and you have a delicious new refuge!

Thanks for the heads-up. I thought this place looked a little empty.

Badficcer
Dear 'fan'

Although I admire your creativity, I would prefer it if you could act out your twisted fetishes with your own characters. There is a reason the book does not correspond to your ideas.

Thanks,
[author's name]

PPCer
Dear [PPCer's name]

I applaud your efforts. Carry on; I have no mind to stop you.

Thanks,
[author's name]

To about 1998, I'm guessing. But it's ok if you want him with one of the more recent incarnations.

Um, maybe two went to the DoMS?

To the badficcers:

Dear fanbrats,

Flattered though I am that you wished to explore and expand on the world I created, I would prefer that you do it somewhere where neither I not anyone else has to be exposed to it.

Remove it, please, before my books curl up and cry.

To the PPC

Please would you kill this as soon as possible? Preferably yesterday?

Many thanks.

after checking my options, that everyone is seeing their default/chosen browser colours. There's an option on Firefox to choose page background, link and text colours and a tick box to 'allow pages to choose colours, instead of my selection above'. I have the box checked yet I am still seeing the colours I chose.

(does the above make sense to anyone? I'm not a tech person, so I wouldn't know)

grey background, khaki unvisited links, dark red visited links and green text.

Could just be me though.

Dude, how do you survive? When I went there for the first and only time, I was nearly blinded. Your eyes must be a helluva lot stronger than mine. :P

Then again, I may be jumping to conclusions. Just 'cuz you're an expert on 4chan memes, doesn't mean you watch it. I appear to be an expert on a load of stuff because I memorise Wikipedia periodically. :D