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“Dear Parents, Your Child Is Not the Chosen One" is a neat short story I thought folks here might like, since it's a an interesting take an the usual fantasy stuff.

- Tomash

Have a super-modded Rainmaker!

uh I dont think thats what he was seying but ok that wurks?

Though it's all done on Discord, if that makes any difference.

Is this similar to an MST, or closer to a performance, or...

Also, I personally don't mind that much if it's scheduled and I can't attend, although I've put down hours anyway; I've got exams to be studying for, and it's basically impossible for my available hours to coincide with reasonable times in both the US and Europe.

Please fill out this When2Meet poll covering the next few weekends and we'll try and find a time to read more of the fic.

- Tomash

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSSM3JvQRVrJUZaC2nXUZZ4Hnrtar1HZuF5ExGeDCRUdX9RXSWsHx6gjztOzdc4QqhEI1bv1TZEsj/pub (some swearing, rather blatant but non-explicit sexual references)

((Real, genuine Author's Note:
I... went back and forth on whether to publish this. I mean, it's definitely bad, but I was worried it was bad in the wrong ways. That is, ways that aren't entertaining. Which would be boring. And thus defeat the point.

You guys can be the judge of that. This is pretty horrifically out of character, so hey, maybe that's worth a laugh. Maybe songfic is just inherently funny. I dunno.

--Thoth))

((Well, I guess I know what's going to happen to Jenni now! After all, it's not like Lemony hasn't provided ample inspiration in the past... :P

~Z))

Thankiesssss

This

You

What?

Okay, Lem, deep breaths; deep, calming breaths...

You know, I remember suggesting Jacques/Jenni to you last year.

This is not what I meant.

What really blows my mind is that you know you're doing wrong and you're doing it anyway. Honestly, go and look up "free love" in the dictionary. Do you see the name "Jennifer Robinson" listed there? You should! Right behind "Luxury" and "Jacques Bonnefoy" and shortly ahead of Su.

But you know that. Gah. Just, gah! Why u do dis?

At least you didn't actually involve Nume wait that's not a suggestion stop—!!

-Lemony


(( {X D And yes, that suggestion happened!

(( On a minor note, I've actually been entertaining [and entertained by] the possibility that Su could have been a redhead—see heading 5. ^_^

(( ~Neshomeh ))

To be honest, I've been following this story for a while, because I like to keep an eye on what people are writing about subjects who interest me. It's been... entertaining. In a sort of glitzy "outdated Saturday morning cartoon aimed at six-year-old girls" way. Do y'all remember Jem and the Holograms? That's the aesthetic I imagine for this fic. Maybe Equestria Girls for a modern equivalent.

Mind you, this isn't a BAD thing except for the fact that it's all incredibly silly and I can't stop giggling at things like that monstrous drink order a few chapters ago, and all the songficcishness. I'm gonna have "A Thousand Years" stuck in my head all day; thanks for that. I laughed right out loud when Zeb said he was a virgin after all that had gone before. Unintentional comedy at its finest! XD

Also, DuskWater, I'm afraid it's very clear you don't know the first thing about teh gheysecks. The back passage does not work like that, especially on someone who's never employed it in this way before! Now, I realize I can't speak with complete certainty with regards to our dear Mr. Bonnefoy, what with his anatomy being rather unique in frustratingly undetailed ways, but I still think it's very likely that a little more TLC would be appreciated back there. Next time, remember the rules: go slow, use lots of lube, and always communicate with your partner.

-Lemony


(( Disclaimer: I never watched Jem and the Holograms, but it IS the first thing I thought of when trying to describe this fic, so there you go. Lemony apparently has.

(( Srsly tho, that drink order. Bleh! Terrible genius, all of this. {X D

(( ~Neshomeh ))

The amazing and talented DuskWater saw the requests for smut and here you go! It's so good and definitely way better than anything I could ever do!

A super romantic chapter is just as good!

Idk about like a full on cowrite, because i have school and stuff, but i'm totally down to try writing that scene for you!! (and maybe some others in the future, idk yet ;) ) anyway I'm so glad you love my work~!!!

~~DW***~*

Hihi!! I don't know what to call this one yet, and I only just started it, but updates will happen and in the meantime, well, it's going to be awesome!! I thought I'd do something a little bit different and here it is! A romance starring Jacques and Su (and Jenni. Sorry Jenni fans, there miiiiiiight be a little bashing here...i do love her normally, but for this fic it just doesn't work for her to be nice!!)

Anyway here it is!! And if u have suggestions for a title, let me know!!

Agent Suicide was getting married.

Yeah, he was as surprised as everyone else, but hey, when a girl like Jennifer Robinson asks you to bond yourself to her, you can’t say no! It just wasn’t thinkable!

So he had his long hair braided (Jenni had insisted he color it back to what it had been vefore it turned grey, so it was now a rich brown that made him jump whenever he saw it), and he was wearing ancient Greek robes because that was the closest they could find—

And he was standing at the end of an aisle waiting for her to come in.

He looked into the audience, and saw Diocletian, his partner, was already crying. Nothing had even happened yet!

And then the music swelled and the doors opened and everyone stood up...and in swept Jenni, wearing a white, sparkling ballgown wedding dress with a long train and a beautiful veil. Her smile was sweet and triumphant. Her hand was wrapped tightly around the arm of Jacques Bonnefoy, the handsome, rakish man she’d taken up with a while back and introduced Suicide to eventually (and reluctantly). They got on amazingly well, funnily enough, and had even made it into bed together a few times, though they hadn’t been stupid enough to mention it to Jenni. It wasn’t not an open relationship, but even she had her limits, and finding out two of her guys had been going at it behind her back would have ended really badly.

But now Jenni and Su were getting married so it was going to have to stop...he felt sad about that, but pushed it aside, because really, what could they possibly do about it now?

--

Please review!!! :* :* :*

~~~DW****~*

I love love love love your work it's so good aaaa! If you want to do a cowrite with me Id ttly be down for that! <3

And yay yay I can't wait to see the new fic!!!

you gave me the push I needed to finally starte writing my Jacques/Su fic!!! I'll put the first chapter up in a minute, its going to be amazing!!!!
btw i read your fic and it's awesome! i love aus sooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuch even if i do't walways write them myself!! And if you want someone else to maybe try to write the next scene......maybe I could give it a go? it could be good practice for my new fic (eventually ;)) and i think it'd be fun and I can always do a fade to black if it's too much!! What do you think~??

~~~DW%****~

Zeb 3rd person POV

Jacques kisses tasted like brandy and spices and all manor of delicious intoxicating tastes. Zeb groaned and stretched his tongue into Jacques' mouth trying to taste every last bit of him, tongues battling for dominance as they wrestled with passion in their mouths.

"Arceus" Zeb gasped when they finally broke apart for air.

"What's that?" Jacques asked.

"Nothing" Zeb said and they doved back into the kisses as Jacques pressed himself against Zeb on the sofa his warm weight trapping Zeb but making him feel more safe and free then he'd ever had in his entire life.

"We were kissing and you said Aerceus?" Jacques said and was quickly silenced with another kiss.

"It doesn't mean anything it's just an expression" Zeb said quickly panting.

"Oh okay" Jaxques said and they returned kissing.

Finally Jeb sat up and caught his breath panting hard. His mouth was red from the forceful of Jacques' kisses and his hair was mussy and disheveled. "You were going to give me a singing lesson" he breathed and sat up rubbing his damp hair out of his face.

"Right" Jacques siad and they stood up Jacques putting his hands on Ze's stomach. "First lesson: Breath control is very important. Breath deep for me."

Zeb breathed in very aware of Jacques hands on his stomach and his skin tingled with the touches."Okay what's next" he asked.

"Next is ideolology for beginners" Jacques said.

"What's that mean?"

"You have to be in the right mindset to sing" Jacques said his breath ticling Zeb's ear. "If your mind isn't focused you can't convey the emotions to really make the audience feel emotions watching you."

"Breath. Idealology." Zeb nodded. "What else"

Jacques smiled. "Passion!" He said holding out his arms and began to sing.

Heart beats fast
Colours and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

Jacques caught zeb around the waist and spun him around pulling him into a dance.

One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

They moved around the room eyes locked on eachother's dancing as Jacques sang his voice filling the room around them.

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

It was like they had practiced the dance together. They moved in syncronization a perfect dance of union bringing them closer in love.

One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

They found themselves in the kitchen. Jacques had Zeb pressed back against the counter leaning in and capturing his mouth in his own. Zeb pulled Jacques closer to him sighing as he tasted Jacques taste of a little bit smoky and brandy and a sweetness that must have been all him.

"Want to come to bed?" Zeb finally murmured against his mouth and they broke apart Jacques grinning nervously at him.

"I would love to."

AHAHAHA, Now theyr'e gonna have sex!!!! Sorry lovelys but I don't write smutty stuff so you'll just have to imagine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Next chapter up will be more fluff so stay tuned!!

but this was my first time ever writing a lemon tbh so idekkkkk if i can pull another one off!! lets say hes doing it off screen and maybe on screen if i can make it happen.......

So happy you liked it!!!!!!!

~**DW*******

You should write more oneshots of the Grace and Jacques doing it! Eheh hehheh. Is he going to do it with Su and Dio next though???

I wrote a thing!!

"When Grace Met Jacques <3" is the story of Jacques Bonnefoy (swoon~!) and Grace Null (she's a Time Lady and shes awesome, she bartends in rudi's and so on) getting together to have a very good time *giggles* I can't believe I wrote this!!!

Anyway, here it is! Please r&r especially if you think this pairing should TOTALLY be canon at least for a bit because seriously they'd be fun together!!! Reviews are like candy to me--I love them so much! So feed your author! :)

The story: (NSFW)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yUPXD4pYWukzIiVLrkXznYUzj5HLNsZYsAoL0fnIwCE/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, don't forget to tell me what you think~!!

*~~**DW****~*

And early congratulations on graduating high school! Here's a video of kittens being adorable, because adulting is hard and sometimes you just need to watch kittens being kittens.

I also have a box of light blue sticky notes and a random power strip for you. No idea where the power strip came from, but I'm sure it'll come in handy.

Thanks; I'll put it in the armory, next to SkarmorySilver's Riptide replica.

Have an actual morningstar (as in the medieval weapon) enchanted to be light in your hands and crushingly heavy to the enemy on impact!