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Things down deep come in two configurations: either sturdy enough to withstand the horrible pressures and cold (like whales) or gelatinous enough to not be crushed (like most everything else down there).

Giant/Colossal squids are an exception to the rule because their bodies are laced with ammonia, which maintains a constant pressure at any depth.
This also makes giant/colossal squid quite inedible. Didn't stop people from trying anyways.

Even more NSFW facts
Some squid species reproduce by having a male swimming next to a female, loading tiny harpoons with a flesh boring acid/semen tandem "warhead", firing the harpoons at the female and then swim away. The acid cuts through the female's flesh and the semen, now injected into her bloodstream, will find its way.
Yes, that is indeed drive-by rape.
NSFW facts end here

If I recall, larger (1+meters long) squids currently have zero human casualties to their name. Not for lack of trying, though, as Humboldt squids have been known to attack divers.
This is of course not including stories of krakens attacking and sinking ships, which are unlikely at best.

Giant squids have the largest brains amongst invertebrates. How smart does this make them is currently not known.

Violet, wearing the wig she'd used in her Wonder Woman outfit the previous year, fake elf ears, and an overly shiny gray dress, waved at the two arrivals with the hand that wasn't holding a pumpkin spice donut. "A+ taste in movies for you both. Oh, and congratulations on getting married! I know I'm late to the party but I didn't get a chance to see you the last few months. If anyone asks it's my author's fault."

Right now over in Britain, our government is refusing to allow us to vote on the most important political decision of a generation: how (and whether!) the UK should leave the EU. They have taken a small majority vote in favour of some kind of leaving (acquired after a campaign in which the Leave campaign lied outright and repeatedly broke campaigning laws), and turned it into 'you'll get whatever we give you and like it'.

A good deal? A bad deal? No deal whatsoever, and the UK left scrambling to pick up the pieces? We don't get a say. We don't get an opportunity to tell them we've seen their idea of negotiations and would rather stick with Europe - or that we want to postpone a while until an acceptable deal can be sorted - or to tell them what we think is actually important in a Leave deal. All we get is 'you children voted to Leave; now let the grown-ups decide for you what that means'.

Over in America, you do have a chance to vote. You don't have to wait another four years like we do, or watch your country be dragged out of every international treaty it's in, like we do. You get to vote tomorrow.

Please vote. Because it's when you aren't given the chance to that you realise how important it is.

hS

Welcome to the PPC! I also like HP and LoTR, so glad to see we share some fandoms.

For your newbie gift, have a Generic Object. It turns into whatever you expect it to be, so expect wisely!

Hey, I had a classmate named Athena!

That being said (it may not be Christmas, but), have a thick, wooly pair of socks.

Hey, I had a classmate named Athena!

That being said, have a thick, wooly pair of socks. It’s not a Christmas, but,

Thank you.

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is

((Preferably from an oiled-up and shirtless Thoth yes I know it's not the badfic games anymore))

"I mean, I'm not upset about it," Charlotte said. "From what I understand, people do some really weird stuff when they're drunk." She glanced back at Ix and lowered her voice. "And honestly, she's... really sensitive. You could probably sneeze at her and she'd get upset. She's getting a lot better about it, but—" She clamped her mouth shut when she noticed Ix edging closer.

Ix stopped at a relatively safe distance from Derik, studying him warily. After a moment, she held out a hand with a nervous smile.

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen of the PPC! My name is Athena (no relation to any character named Athena, specially the Greek deity!).
I am quite familiar with the Harry Potter, LoTR (including the Hobbit and the Silmarillion) and Warhammer 40,000 settings, and a myriad other things.

I found the PPC while looking for the complete version of a fic I wanted to try my hand at sporking. One click led to another and here I am!

Not to blow my own trombone, but I'm JAYCACIA FREAKING THORNBYRD. Have you SEEN the number of tihngs I can do??

and started off by grabbing some salad.

"Yes, plotholes are very interesting things. The problem is that, for all I know, they are actively resisting research efforts. Not a problem I ever expected to have."

“Plotholes seem to be an interesting sort of phenomenon.”

“Here we are!” At the food table, Chelsea waved to Lemon and Peregrin. “Food!”

"That was more my former partner. I mainly try to learn how plotholes work. It has not been going well."

“We’re in the Video Games Division, so we play video games to expand our canon knowledge. Other than that, I step outside our RC for a jog or to train.”

1. This was actually very funny. I didn't find that disturbing or attractive at all, just funny. Lucky me.
   2. Isn't there a discouraged ship between the SO and the Marquis de Sod? Wonder what the latter flower would think of this...
   3. Haha! I know a number of other characters for which Rule 34 and Rule 34.B don't apply, because they're too obscure! (Not telling you, and most of said characters are my original characters who haven't been published yet, so you can't guess either!) Hah!
   
   -Twistey

(*virtually yelling off to the virtual side* Yeah, you heard me, hS, I said monsters! That means you can't be an elf! ...No, you can't be an evil elf! ...*facepalm* *sigh...*)

You guessed it, it's another trashpost from me, in the same style as "Boarders Described With Memes", or whatever I called it. This time, it has a fun little bit of fantasy flair. I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons for a while now, and having a good time with it. I'd especially like to let y'all know that y'all should be proud of me, because my character is the only one in the party with any morals whatsoever. (Yeah, I know, right? Twistey and morals do belong in the same sentence after all!)

But anyway, here's the idea: Based on your personality, what type of monster from Dungeons and Dragons would you be? If you have no clue, there's at least one PDF of the D&D 5e Monster Manual online.

For example, I'd say I'm a Gelatinous Cube. I chose this monster because as I go through life, I have a tendency to absorb things I find, and make them a part of myself to the point where I have no clue what my life would be like without them, even though the obvious answer is "exactly or almost exactly like how it was before I discovered the thing." I'm a pretty well-meaning Gelatinous Cube, and most of the time, I absorb stuff purely because I love it so much, but a couple years back, I ingested something that has now made me mildly poisonous, and the same happened to the slime trail I leave behind. People don't take too kindly to being surprised with loss of a health point or two...

So, what about you people? What D&D monsters would you most likely be? How would you spend your days down in the dungeon? I'm looking forward to some humorous results!

-Twistey

I'm the PPC's resident wild card. If you have an idea that doesn't pass by the other Boarders, you'll likely spot me.

Anyway, for your newbie present, I present to you the Eldritch Metronome. If you turn it on, it sends pulses of psychic disturbance through the minds of anyone who can hear it, forcing them to comply to the beat. You can screw around with the tempo as you please. Just never put it at march tempo (quarter note = 120), or else you'll summon the demon locked inside it.

-Twistey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj9mmK6gVYw
Oh my God, how much I could ramble about this one...

First off, this is mislabeled as Tchaikovsky. It's actually by Mikhail Glinka. My youth orchestra is playing this at tomorrow's concert (wish me luck, guys!), and that's how I came across this piece. It's really fast and really fun. But wait, there's more! This is the overture to an opera, and one day, I looked up the actual opera on Wikipedia to see what it was about. The plot is really weird (like, a giant head shows up in the middle, #NoSeriouslyThatsCanon) and I love it so much. Many band inside jokes were obtained from this research I did. I suggest you at least listen to the link above if you like classical music.

-Twistey
If anybody's interested... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RuslanandLyudmila_(opera)

"You made Ix cry and went and busted your hand in a tantrum and basically acted like a jackass," Gall added in a helpful tone.

Derik's mouth pulled tight in a grimace. The actual memories remained incoherent, but the bitter emotions flooded back. He took a breath. Benden, Boll, Hanrahan, Ping, Telgar, Tillek... The silent litany was a touchstone that enabled him to refocus and enter a new state of mind, both more aware of and removed from his surroundings. It had taken him the better part of a year to gain a command of the technique. He looked at Ix, nervous and keeping her distance, then back to Charlotte, beginning to bristle. Understandable.

He handed the plate of food off to Gall. She proceeded to examine it.

"I'm afraid it's all a blur," said Derik, "but please allow me to apologize properly for everything I said and did that was inappropriate or upsetting." He gave a deep bow, extending one arm to include Ix in the gesture. "I can't claim I wasn't myself, but I was walking a dangerous path then. I have found a better one now. Nothing like that will happen again."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizen_Kane