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... is it possible to perhaps recruit "original" characters from bootleg or ripoff games? I mean, most of these games, especially on the App Store, are just little one-off things that are only designed to get their creators money, which makes their characters kinda similar to background characters in fanfiction.

"Bootleg" in this case means a game that entirely or very closely replicates the name and/or content of a continuum unlawfully, without being a fangame or parody. By that I mean I'm trying to cover stuff as simple as this:

https://apkpure.com/cup-hand-adventure/com.CupHandAdventure

and stuff as complex as this:

https://www.vg247.com/2017/06/06/meet-hero-mission-a-blatant-chinese-overwatch-knockoff/

The only exception for these characters would be if fans of the original continuum "adopt" a character from the ripoff as an honorary addition to the cast, as is the case with Clark from the Overwatch ripoff "Heroes of Warfare", dubbed "Clark Shimada" and considered McCree and Hanzo's son by Overwatch fans (at least, the ones who ship McHanzo.)

I'd really love to see the sorts of character arcs that could come from a ripoff character: maybe wondering why they exist or wishing they didn't, maybe feeling abandoned by their cash-grab creators, maybe seeking to define themselves as a separate person from the character they're blatantly based on and overall trying to find out who exactly they are. If their game is particularly badly coded, they might be able to "glitch" things into happening.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

-Twistey

WARNING: Minor spoilers for Star Wars: The Old Republic: Knights of the Fallen Empire/Knights of the Eternal Throne.

---

The room felt empty without his presence, the two had never been alone with each other in a room before now, before the events on Ziost it had been always been at least Theo accompanying them, and after they'd had a war to fight and win and personal time had never come around. At least not until now, while the rest of the resistance on Odessen and around the galaxy celebrated, their leader and one of her closest confidants stood in a soundproofed, de-bugged room away from all prying eyes and ears and could just talk about the Mandalorian Bounty Hunter.

"He's really gone?" Naonae, known to many in the galaxy as The Outlander, asked, knowing the answer but still not quite able to believe it.

"He is." Pariya replied, nodding despite the fact she knew the Miralukan would not be able to see the gesture. "Disappeared searching for you not long after the Eternal Empire invaded. I was too busy with the Rift Alliance at the time to stop him from heading off, how he convinced the rest of his crew to not go along I have no idea."

Silence lingered between the two force users for a time before Naonae cleared it.

"He was a good friend, even for a Bounty Hunter. He will be missed." She turned her head towards the Zabrak, the grief of the Jedi obvious through the Force to her. "And I am sure he was a good Husband as well."

Pariya nodded again, blinking the tears out of her eyes, not caring about the other Jedi Masters that said showing emotions was a weakness, at least not caring about it now that she was with her closest, definitely still living friend, strange as it was to think of the Sith Lord like that.

"Even for a Bounty Hunter," She added after a second. "I will miss him indeed."

---
Novastorme

(BfGs meaning Badfic Games, by the way.)

I won't go into the details of who they're conspiring against, but feel free to screw around with the idea.

-Twistey

Since I figure you might be interested...?

Didn't want to push anything off the front page with a new thread, is all. |D

Thanks for the compliments, too! I'm glad you liked the narration - I was trying to do the show-don't-tell thing, but without using dialogue as a crutch for that. =]

So the Notary's had a lot of time to come to terms with help always being available in Headqwarts to those who ask for it. The growth's true for Wobbles as well - she's making much less of an effort to be HAPPYSMILESUPERFUNTIMEWHEE around the Notary and trying a lot harder to be her friend. Characters evolving over time: it Am An Thing. =]

And yeah, I kinda assumed Jenni would be fine with it from previous interactions involving Jennotari friendshipping/outrightshipping. Those were super fun, btw, we should definitely do more of that some time. =]

Actually, it's too late. He'd already put the idea in motion before you posted this. So this is really just fuel for his dark machinations. >.>;

Anyway, I share the sentiment of "Holy Emotional Whiplash, Batman!" That second scene is a real slap in the face.

I'm not surprised that Wobbles is being supportive of the Notary, though. I'm surprised the Notary is letting her.

Jenni, of course, is completely on board and probably breaking out in a sweat from the effort of not saying "It's about time!" And there will be tea, much tea, provided Wobbles stays away from the electric kettle. And cuddles and possibly treats for Lolus, too. {= )

~Neshomeh

Just as an example of why I can't make sense of it, you've got two sentences about a transition in time. The first, "Two weeks pass," is present-tense (and the rest of the paragraph is past). The second, "Another month passed," is past-tense. It doesn't seem like you're using consistent tenses for consistent sorts of thoughts, especially when you switch between tenses in the same paragraph, which happens a couple more times, in the two golem paragraphs.

And then, you addressed the instance of double whitespace between paragraphs four and five, but not the several instances of no whitespace, such as between paragraphs two and three. There should be one line of whitespace between paragraphs for standard Internet formatting.

I think perhaps it would be clearer to write the main narrative in Roman type and past-tense, with "official reporty" present-tense bits set off in italics, people's gossip in quotation marks, and standard paragraphing throughout. Right now, even with the explanation, I'm still not sure which bits are supposed to be report, narrative, people talking, or what. {= (

~Neshomeh

I like the children's book-like style in the first part. I'll note that it feels like a very appropriate style for a story about Wobbles (especially since, if you're reading for the first time, it looks like it'll be a rather comedic one).

And then the scene changes, and we have this rather serious (and heartwarming) emotional scene with the Notary and Wobbles. One think I liked about this section is that you did a good job of using the narration to convey the Notary's emotions.

(Minor note: the "quiet and old as an empty church" simile, while understandable, felt like it didn't quite make sense.)

- Tomash

but that didn't really affect the general flow of the story, I'd say

Not much else to say. Wobbles being supportive of the Notary was unexpected but sweet.

Zeb's not permanently human, he was just using the disguise generator for this story. Much easier to read books and show his partner's parents around if he's got opposable thumbs. :P

Normally I tend to go for shorter quotes, but this particular fic had massive chunks of badness all smashed together and breaking them up line by line would have felt too MST-y for me, so I left them large for this one in particular.

Thanks for the review. :)

Well, it has two canons I recognise, a team I'm at least vaguely familiar with, and is only ('only') 14 pages... I guess that means I should read it. ;)

The opening scene is really cute. I clearly have something of a soft spot for domestic scenes (says the person who has written multiple stories about his retired agents and their kids...), and this works really well. (Though... I guess Zeb is... human now? I've clearly missed a lot. You have a thing for literally transforming your characters, don't you?)

... oh my gods, Artemis, Zeus, what. <<< The fact that this comes across so clearly shows that you've selected your quotes well. It also doesn't come across as overly-quoted, which is always a good thing.

For the mission itself, I'd say it felt about the right length - you hit the high points (well, low points), and didn't overcharge (the art of presenting a charge list that people won't just skip over is a tricky one to learn). I'd personally make my badfic quotes shorter than yours are, but I think that's in the range of style and preference; it doesn't feel like you're MSTing, is the main thing.

So yeah: good stuff. :)

hS

Ha, Sergio's timeline manipulations are hilarious. ^^ And Corolla's are nice and sneaky.

I like the mismatched furniture. I also like the fact that the girls still don't care about Sergio's past (in a good way): it's clear he wants to be all angsty about it, but Corolla in particular is having none of that.

In fact, in general it's great to have Corolla in the field at last. She's great. ^^ The whole snowmobile scene was brilliant, and her interactions later in the chapter are building nicely both the stories of the overall quest, and of Sergio's personal arc.

Favourite line: “I’m still going to do my best. I’m not accepting a Bad End for you two, I’m aiming for the Perfect Golden Ending!” Corolla is a dedicated shipper. ^_^

... I will probably talk less about Corolla from here on out. Maybe. _{No promises.}

hS

But then I realized it wouldn't be even remotely SFW.

Multiversal empires never work out well.

By which I mean... aaawwww. ;;

Wobbles does many a Good, for EVERYONE! The Notary very much included.

One day in the happy world of Headquarters, something very peculiar happened. Wobbles The Clown was missing! All the boys and girls and nonbinary life forms were very confused, because Wobbles made sure to tell all her friends if she was going away, and Wobbles was friends with everyone.

Everyone in the Nursery decided to go and look for Wobbles, because she might have gotten lost or fallen down a plothole, and that could be dangerous - or worse, boring. So off they went on an Adventure.

They looked in the Floating Hyacinth's office, but Wobbles wasn't there.

They looked in Wobbles The Clown's RC, but Wobbles wasn't there either.

They weren't allowed to look in Rudi's, but a friendly Security Dandelion did instead, and it said Wobbles wasn't there either.

They looked in the A/V Division offices, but the grown-ups there were not very friendly and screamed and threw things and one did a wee in his trousers, and worst of all Wobbles still wasn't there!

Where, oh where could Wobbles be?

---

"I... I really appreciate you doing this for me." The Notary looked immaculate, and it was only when you got close by that you could see the age and tiredness in her eyes.

"Ah-buh-buh-buh-buh! I'm doing this with you. The hard work is all on you." Wobbles would normally have offered a hug, but the way the Notary was trembling meant she stayed a pace or two away.

"I know, I know. I'm just..." The Notary sighed, quiet and old as an empty church. "Thank you."

Wobbles smiled and said nothing.

The door in front of them eventually opened, and a much shorter woman greeted the two and welcomed them into her office. In a few moments, it clicked shut, revealing a sign that said Nurse Jennifer Robinson, FicPsych.

The old Time Lord sat, and spoke, and when the tears and shaking and pain dragged themselves to the surface, Wobbles was there.

Right where she needed to be.

Because I think I've seen their agents around. You can tell if someone's a Draconian agent because they tend to go cross-eyed a lot. I think they're plotting to invade... something. Or maybe they're just planning on filming incredibly strange adult entertainment? Wait, no, that's something else...

Get out of my teeth.

THE PPC IS A FRONT FOR THE DARCONIANS! I'VE SEEN THEIR PLAN, THEY WANT TO RUN MISSIONS FOR LONG ENOUGH THAT AGENTS JUST ACCEPT IT WHEN THEY DECLARE ALL FANFICTION TO BE A THREAT! THEN THEY'LL ANNEX OTHER CANONS AS "PROTECTION" AGAINST IT! THEY'RE BUILDING A MULTIVERSAL EMPIRE!

Fantastic. That's what I'm going for! Well, among other things, but this is very much going for an emotional response.

They've found him! No one's in such good shape, apparently, but...he's alive! And in safe hands!

Now we just need to get in to see him, and find out what even happened to begin with...

~Z