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What's the weirdest food you've ever been asked to prepare in the Cafeteria?

What countermeasures could the PPC take if phyrexian oil found its way into headquarters? I'm asking for the sake of a friend.

What would you want it to be like?

I'm asking 'cause I'm doing a report. For school.

No. ∗turns to walk away, but has an idea∗ ∗turns back smooth as silk, and speaks as such∗ ... You see, you've got it backwards. I'm not stuck in there with him. He's stuck in there with me. ∗gives his most maniacal, crooked, one-eyed grin, creepy face shadowing and all∗

(( The Multiverse Monitor is gonna have its best edition ever after this thread. {X D ))

I live at home with my mom. I go to school at the Nursery. I like it, because all my friends are there and usually classes are fun. You have to know a lot of stuff in the PPC. We do a lot of spelling and grammar and writing work, which gets pretty boring, but canon classes are great! Sometimes we even get to go on field trips to the OFUs. It's not exactly the real thing, but it's pretty cool. Other places are so big and bright and colorful, not like HQ at all. The first time, it was a little bit like that one book, The Giver, which has a movie that's not very good. We did a paper on it last year. Wanna know what I said?

(( Please don't ask, I've never seen the movie and I have no idea. This kinda got away from me. {X D ))

Is it true that spending hours alone with an evil wizard has warped your sense of morality? Sources have claimed that you now consider the slaughter of innocents acceptable. Do you have a response? How do you plan to cover up your plot to murder your partner and 17 innocent children in a convoluted grasp for power?

((I am egocentric and thought this would be funny. :-P ~Thoth))

A well structured diet contributes to bodily heath, it is true. I would additionally suggest a rigorous training regimen, the implantation of artificial organs, the use of drugs and hypnosis to aid in the use of such, and several centuries of combat. The Adeptus Astartes has proven this strategy to be effective, provided you are one of the few males eligible.

If you are female or otherwise ineligible, earning the favor of the Blood God is, of course, an alternative. However, this is not a path I would recommend.

How can I grow up to be as big and strong as you? Will eating my vegetables help?

Taking any question for Richard Legard and Marina Nicodelli.

Caves of Qud is bloody great and it has great lore. It's probably what got me into New Weird, to be honest.
Hell, one of the lore books was written by a sentient plant called Baccata Yewtarch. For his sources, he cites sentient fungus that have travelled across the world, attached to travelling camel-guy merchants. The weirdest part is really the fact that Baccata overlooked the seeming speciesism between plants and fungi enough to source them in his books. Good on him!
It's so cool.

I recently finished rereading another kinda surreal weirdo story - The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, Lovecraft's outright longest story. It's the fantasy novella that sorta defined my own tastes in speculative fiction and worldbuilding - there's a dreamy surrealism to the whole thing, that feels almost fairy tale-like, that I'm absolutely in love with. Hell, the start of the story just offhandedly describes that a specific tree in a forest was grown from a seed that fell from the moon, and later on in the story, it's revealed that you can just kinda - just sail right up to the moon!
Here's what it has for 'races':

- Humans (of course)

- Zoogs (vaguely human-eating sapient rodents who live in a glowing fungus forest and make wine out of that moon tree.)

- Cats (sapient and basically the 'hero' race, who are all kinda honourable and good and who help the main character out.)

- Ghouls (loathsome corpse-eaters who dwell above a massive pit of bones of every thing they've eaten, who have access to every graveyard of the waking world, and are actually pretty reasonable guys, who outright help the main character out and beat up monsters with giant tombstones.)

- Moonbeasts (frog-looking amorphous silvery things, who are implied to buy and eat slaves and who sail about from the moon and the Dreamlands. They're the Orcs but squishier, I suppose.)

And probably heaps more, because the Dream Cycle is wild.
It's an awesome bloody setting, and that story is an awesome bloody story that has an insane ending, and one that's surprisingly tender and personal, considering how weird and cosmic the story is. It's real good. Probably my favourite Lovecraft story, to be honest.

The only real shame I have with it is, well, it's hard to get as connected to it as I want to, knowing how horrid of a person Lovecraft was, y'know? There are themes in that story that resound a whole lot with me but also, er, he was racist.

What's your favorite part about living in the Nursery?

I'm in, as usual. {= )

RC 999, DIC
- Agent Supernumerary
- Agent Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill

RC 1110, DMS
- Agent Derik
- Agent Gall Knutson

RC I don't know yet, probably DF
- Agent Caprice
- Agent Shimon

FicPsych
- Nurse Jennifer Robinson
-- Her son, Henry Robinson
- Nurse Mirrad
- Nurse Elms
- Nurse Castor Parwill
- Nurse Loquacious Immac
- Intern Alex Bjørnsen

~Neshomeh

I really like the little details, it really gives personality to the scene instead of it being just another room. All of the lines also converge to the appropriate vanishing point, so that is good as well. However, Constance seems to be falling over, mainly because her left hand seems to be missing when it should be holding up her upper body.

Anyways, here is mine. NSFW if a shirtless guy counts.

Agents

• Agent Thoth of Floaters, Chaos Space Marine formerly of the XVth Legion, Designated Affably Evil Chaotic Teammate, Unwilling Puppet of Fate, The Serious One, Occasionally Deemed a "Giant Asexual Gay Man" as it Amuses Me.
• Agent Tom of Floaters, Former Laundry Computational Demonologist, The Normal One, Comic Relief in Residence (he's adopted the title and takes it very seriously), Devoted Gamer, Semi-Author Avatar.
• Agent Talia Ornix of DoSAT, Hacker with a Temper, Presently The Only Girl, Semi-Sane, Very Irritated About Having To Write Software That Runs on Literal Potatoes.
• Agent Dagger (not his real name), Dragonborn, Surly Embittered Electrical Engineer, Vague and Traumatic Past, Still Learning More About his Species Continuum of Origin, Enjoys Glaring At People.

scurries off to write a scandalous, questionably true article anyway

Ilraen and I are merely acquaintances at best, and our relationship is strictly professional. He has been teaching me about the different species that live in the PPC, nothing more. And I'll thank you to stay out of our personal lives!

Come on in, folks! These will be delivered to:

RC 42-Omega [DMS]:
- Venus 'VJ' Jones
- William Grey

RC 0² [DF]:
- "Lena Swift" AKA Hop
- Rosa 'Hip' Vale

Cafeteria:
- Chef Matt

DoSAT:
- Nicole "Gremlin" Montoya

Yes, the last two are yet-to-be-introduced, so... hey, now's yer chance!

We here at the Multiverse Monitor have heard rumors that you and Agent Ilraen from DIC are dating! Would you care to comment on those, on your relationship to him in general?

I've gone ahead and started up this year's mailbox game on T-Board.

Information on the format is in the setup post, but it's all fundamentally the same as it's always been.

(I'd also like to remind people that you'll need to click "Enable reply emails" after you make the post in order to get reply emails, which, unlike on the Board, fire for replies arbitrarily far down the thread. I'm going to make this more streamlined when I next have a block of time to dedicate to hacking on T-Board, which should be soon.)

- Tomash

Currently taking questions for the Aviator, Zeb, Ix, Charlotte, Lorson, Dax, Farilan, Olivine, and Alex.

...When did I get so many agents? Geez.

I'm taking questions for:

• Agents Peregrin (Millenarian from the Anathem 'verse, is working on a theory of plotholes these days) and Taq (LoTR orc), DMS
• Agents Farah Tahar (hani from the Chanur 'verse, rather outgoing) and Kk'kttak (kif, also Chanur 'verse, has mellowed out on the chronic backstabbing his home culture is known for), DIC
• Technician Tomash, DoSAT
• Florian (firefighting robot turned revolutionary, from a RPG that never got off the ground), who may or may not be in DoGA depending on when you ask