Subject: Taking this out of order.
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Posted on: 2014-11-12 09:20:00 UTC

I'm not sure which bits of this I'm going to reply to, so I'll just do it a bit at a time, starting in this post with Rayner and E.V.L.

The story/prologue is good; it really gets Rayner's character across, and E.V.L.'s, er... psychoticness? Whatever. And the idea of a 'good' (using the term loosely) and evil character being bound and forced to work together is always interesting - have you by any chance played Beyond Divinity? Similar set-up.

But, er... why can't they just kill her? The PPC has access all the destructive technology in the universe. Why not just, say, wait for the next time DOGA decide to air out a Sun Crusher, drop her into the star in question, and then send it supernova? I'm pretty sure she's not coming back from that, and since the Weeds can hold her down, she's clearly not overpowered enough to escape it.

One possibility occurs to me - bind her life to Rayner's. A magic spell which means anyone who tastes her blood is bound to her, and that in order for her to die, he would have to be killed as well, isn't exactly far-fetched - heck, it's just a straightforward adaptation of Horcrux technology. It wouldn't even need an edit to the prologue, since you haven't reached that point yet.

(It's probably a good thing he didn't get to send her to Dante's hell - I get the impression she would have taken it over)

hS

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