Subject: Caught you!
Author:
Posted on: 2014-10-24 20:42:00 UTC

Halt moved silently through the portal. By the time Randa stepped through behind them and got the portal closed, he had already bound and gagged the possessed Rangers.
Behind Halt and who else? This should be "him".

I see that doctorlit already mentioned the continuity problem, so I’m not sure whether you tried to fix it, but it’s still there. I’d sugest to split this one paragraph, like:

"And the Bleeprin is like a job-required vaccination," Randa added. "You wouldn't send relief workers into Africa without making sure that they were safe from malaria or whatever, would you? Rina just had an allergic reaction to it –"

"So I'll use Suebuprofen instead," interjected Rina.

Randa shot Rina a glance and shook her head almost imperceptibly. Rina frowned, wondering what her friend was trying to say.

Thus Randa doesn’t contradict herself when she explains that Rina cannot use Suebuprofen either.

Other than that, it’s a really good mission. I like the ongoing effects of the melted trees and how you brought Rina’s family in.

HG

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