Subject: ...Time Lord AU PPC?
Author:
Posted on: 2014-10-22 18:40:00 UTC
Multiversal Intervention Agency, Take One
The Multiversal Intervention Agency had only two rules: first, no skiving off. And second, no building death rays.
The third rule was 'don't be lasagna', which had actually happened once, whereupon the rule had been tacked on. With actual tacks.
The Thyme Lord would have liked to think it ruled the MIA* with an iron fist, but as it lacked both fists and iron, it had to make do with tasty leaves instead. That is, the agents assumed they were tasty. No one had ever dared to find out.
(Once, an agent had attempted to determine whether the Thyme Lord was really made of thyme, or was simply a hologram. Of course, the agent attempted to find out by going up close to the Thyme Lord...and sniffing. Being Jewish, the agent first made the blessing of 'boreh minei b'samim'--'Creator of fragrant grasses'.)
(The Thyme Lord was in no way amused.)
The Sage, who ran the Department of Untangling, did its best never to be afraid of being put into a lasagna. Despite this, some fear did seep through, to the point where agents were forbidden to eat--or even chew--within two rooms-lengths. As MIA HQ had a tendency to transport its those who transversed it in both time and space, most agents elected to simply leave, eat, and then attempt to come back earlier.
('Attempt' was the key term. It was hardly unknown for agents to get lost in time and emerge weeks, months, minutes, or years later. Agent Acacia had once switched places with some kid with the surname Illian; five Technicians had worked feverishly to fix this, and managed with some helpful prodding from Acacia's friend, the Thorn--well, Agent Thorntree, really, but only Acacia called her that.)
The Parsley Duke, who headed up the specialized Tea Cafeteria, greatly enjoyed eavesdropping. It (or, occasionally, he) most certainly did not relish the thought of one day being mistaken for tea leaves; fortunately, most agents tended to avoid trying to put giant stalks of parsley in their cups of boiling water, and simply talked instead.
"Lady Rosemary wants to see me," one agent said mournfully. She sipped at her tea, and made a face. "I did fine on my last mission, you know. No one regenerated. No Reapers turned up. I didn't even create any temporal paradoxes. Why's she want to see me?"
The second agent (on xir fifth cup, the Parsley Duke noted approvingly) shrugged. "Was it a Doctor/Master fic again?"
"Ugh," the first agent agreed. "I don't remember what good slash looks like anymore, y'know?"
The second agent patted her hand sympathetically, and passed the tea leaves.
(At that point, the entirety of the Continuity Council of Gallifrey-in-Exile blew into the Tea Cafeteria, and the Parsley Duke was understandably distracted. That group drank a lot of tea, and in very odd combinations, to boot.)
"Cranberry-Cinnamon for the Notary," Morgan began. "Vanilla-Maple-Grass for Fish, the Reader'll have something orange with a dash of whiskey, Dis and the Agent can order for themselves, thanks, and I want the strongest black tea you've got in stock. Oh, and that stuff that smells like dust for the Librarian." With that done, everyone but the Disentangler and the Agent left to find tables, arguing all the way.
"Lemon Zinger for him, Blueberry Whateveritis for me," the Disentangler said, and dragged the Agent away from the counter.
This left the Parsley Duke to organize beverages, while keeping a wary eye on the Council of Time Lords...
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*The MIA? hS, did you do that on purpose, or was it a happy accident?
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And there I'm ending this, because it's getting long and I have no clue where it's really going after this. Well, apart from a Continuity Council conversation, but I think this is enough for one post, don't you?
(So, how's the AU that no one asked me to write? Talk about 'look what you've done'--I don't even remember why I clicked on this post to begin with, apart from possibly finding out what the missed opportunity was. I haven't even read the mission yet.)
(I'm curious, though...)
Well. Hope someone enjoyed. The bit about the Thyme Lord-sniffing agent is courtesy of a friend, who suggested it.
May we all have very good cups of tea. Yum!
~DF