Subject: RE: New mission
Author:
Posted on: 2014-10-21 21:25:00 UTC

("Continua" is a plural noun, "continuum" is the singular. Just FYI)

Well done, Iximaz! That sequence with Rina's family at the end was very emotional. I'm not sure how I should feel about her mom's epic freakout; it's totally justified, of course, but the fact that it's just her mom freaking out while her dad and brother are calmer about this...yeah, that has some weird implications. (At least if you're like me and overthink these things.) Also, unless I'm missing some detail, she would more than likely have been in the room for Randa's infodump.

Another little detail I noticed was Rina and Randa's evaporating CAD. I liked that! Usually they BSOD, overheat and melt, or explode; somehow, the idea of a machine evaporating is funnier. (Good luck to whichever DoSAT guy/girl/starfish has to clean the tree goo off the RA, though...) Their banter/snark was good, too; relevant and witty without dissolving (too often) into CAPSLOCK OF RAGE.

This was an enjoyable read, even for someone who doesn't know Ranger's Apprentice (yet). *gives box of chocolate Klondike bars* Keep up the good work!

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