Subject: 'Dreadfully sorry,'
Author:
Posted on: 2016-05-02 08:29:00 UTC

Bingle said, apologising for the twin terrors of unholy horrors and unsuitable hygiene.

‘Horrid things back there,’ He continued, referencing both the eldritch monstrosities, and the calcium build-ups that dawdled behind his lips.

I think I-ve it fixed, now,’ Finch grumbled, hovering over.
There were a few cans and packets of lollies in his costume that had fallen and crumpled, but Finch had recovered successfully, otherwise.

There seems to be a grade B firmware intrusion, would you like-
Electricity hissed as the voice was cut off.

Bloody right, grade B. Stupid damn thing. What-d I miss?

‘My teeth are gross-ass.’

Really? They seem bloody nice for a late two-hundred and seventy year old Victorian.

‘Oh, I don’t exactly have much competition.’

The other late two-hundred and seventy year old Victorians are cowering in their booties, Bingle.

Bingle pondered how the other two-hundred and seventy year old Victorians managed to fit themselves in their booties.
Bingle could barely fit himself through a doorway wearing a tall hat.

‘I will admit that golems,’ He started, turning to Miguel, ‘Aren’t nearly my area of expertise.’

Neither is dentistry,’ Finch commented.

‘I thought you were on my side?!’

They outnumber us six-to-one, Bingle.

‘There’s three of them and two of us!’

I count for three of their points,’ Finch admitted.

Bingle took this betrayal with the same dignity he took the teeth attack, and marched resolutely forward like an armoured jogger.

‘They were restricted to specialist services before the Golemancy Revolution. Guarding kings and nobles,’

Dentists.

‘Pardon?’

Did I say anything?

Bingle shot a fast glare towards Finch before continuing.
‘They had existed for a while, having been invented somewhere about the Middle-East. Awful expensive, though. Old ones were made of metals, to be bend- malleable, but the new, hollowed ones could just be made cheaply out of stone. Less body to break, and all.’ Bingle paused, thinking.

They do jobs the humans won-t take. Dying, for instance.

‘I’ve seen a few mining, dying, doing construction work, carrying,’ Bingle’s knowledge train was beginning to slow down. ‘Bricks? I suppose they’d do that.’

What about the big bloody grey lumps that stomp down the streets then, kicking hobos and glaring at people?

‘Oh, yes, those. Golem street guards. Store guards. Escorts. Er.’

Golem birds.

‘Ah, yes. Very, er. Decorative. Brass, and all. They fly.’

They crash, too.

‘They do that, too.’

Where-re you from, then?’ Finch asked, looking at Miguel.

‘They tweet, also,’ Bingle murmured. Finch ignored him.

[[I was very proud of that one, I must say.
I'll just place it down here and turn around and whistle loudly, hoping that nobody takes it. Not in this society, no way.]]

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