Subject: Here you go. (NSFW)
Author:
Posted on: 2016-12-03 03:23:00 UTC

Kneeing an elf in the balls.

Boiling a man alive in a comically large glass of eggnog.

The Grinch and the Krampus teaming up to burn down Whoville and piss on the ashes.

Celebrating Oktoberfest with Jolly Old Saint Nick.

Taking the entirety of a 3-foot-long novelty candy cane inside yourself.

Christmas decorations out in the middle of goddamn October.

Reindeer sex games.

Teabagging Rudolph's cold, dead corpse.

Bludgeoning someone's skull in with a small piece of fruitcake.

Lacing Santa's cookies with rat poison.

Herschel the Hanukkah Golem.

Firing a rifle willy-nilly into the air while balls-deep in a reindeer mare and rocketing above the Chicago skyline at over twice the speed limit and over three times the legal BAC aboard a stolen sleigh.

Dancing on the graves of a thousand slaughtered elf children.

Writing your name in the snow.

Candy cane-striped condoms.

The Mistletoe, head of Holiday Affairs.

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