Subject: I believe I detect upon Skater the aroma of a Troper.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-08-06 01:43:00 UTC
As in, TV Tropes.
Subject: I believe I detect upon Skater the aroma of a Troper.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-08-06 01:43:00 UTC
As in, TV Tropes.
Since we have multiple newbies joining in rapid succession, I figured I'd start this thread. This thread is for those without Permission to share their ideas for agents. This thread is also for critiquing agents and fixing Sueishness.
Name: Amber Callahan (no relation to Kitty Callahan)
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Department: DOGA
Home 'Verse: Alternate of World One in which supernatural powers exist, not tied to any literary continuum.
Species: Human
Nationality: American (Irish background)
Amber loves being outdoors, nature, and physical activity. She is more comfortable up in the mountains than anywhere else in the world. She's also the most stereotypically Irish of the three inseparable Callahan siblings, and has a bit of a temper, which causes her to say things she regrets later. She was born with powers to manipulate earth, but couldn't use them well before she received training at HQ. Her earth powers are a little less versatile than that of an Earthbender in Avatar. As for her backstory, her birth parents are both deceased (her mother died giving birth to her younger brother and her father died working his risky job), but the Callahan kids found some good-hearted adoptive parents and some friends, including Miriam. Amber, her siblings, and Miriam all fell into a plothole together, and occasionally they wonder about how their families have been able to cope with losing them.
Name: Miriam Almstedt
Age: 17
Department: DOGA
Home 'Verse: See Amber
Nationality: American (Swedish background)
Species: Human or fox, but never in between
It probably says something that Amber and Miriam ended up partners despite having known each other before recruitment. In contrast to Amber's tomboy nature, Miriam is a girly-girl who swoons over boys, knows how to do makeup (as opposed to Amber), and gets queasy at the sight of blood. She has both the ability to turn into a fox and to manipulate gravity, although the second one is limited to one object at a time and by her stamina. Both of these powers were obtained from magical accidents that happened at family reunions in Sweden. She also has apparently sighted a few monsters right out of Scandinavian folklore at said family reunions, but downplays it whenever anyone asks because she thinks people won't believe her.
So, how are these two? As I said, they're intended to be the first partners that I make missions with, so I'd like to hear as much advice about them as possible.
-Twistey
Other than that, this looks good to me, I can't really see anything wrong with it.
Other than I'd like a little more explanation as to how those magic powers worked...
...then I realized my computer time was running out, so I decided to just post those two characters and then maybe follow up with Amber's siblings, who I'd introduce after that.
What do you mean by "how they work"? Do you mean the mechanics and world-building of why those powers exist, or do you mean their exact abilities? I definitely have the latter down pat (with help from the uber-specific Superpower Wiki), but I haven't figured out the former yet. You see, Amber, her siblings, and Miriam all are revamped versions of characters from original worlds that an RP group that I was in created. We never really explained anything, especially not why the government wanted to experiment on people (at least one of our writers was freaking paranoid, that was why) or why all of our characters dressed like they were in a high fantasy or anime story when the real genre was urban fantasy. (They were high fantasy geeks and I was a weeb, that's why.) So I didn't really put thought into why Amber and Miriam have their powers, because those were the powers that Sakura/"Mountaineer" and Miriam had.
Anyway, I'll send you the other two in the Callahan trio soon.
-Twistey
But I'm fine with getting a rain check on that, world-building takes time. (Although having a system in place would definitely help to make sure you're not going overboard with the powers.)
And hey, it's not like dressing like you're in high fantasy or anime is a problem in urban fantasy... as long as you're fine with earning a blank, slightly-confused stare or two, people will probably assume you're cosplaying or going to a LARPing session or something.
Name: Skater (pseudonym)
Age: ~15 or 16. He's not telling.
Home continuum: World One
Appearance: White teen with messy blonde hair who perpetually wears sunglasses because they look cool. He also has dog ears attached to his head that match his hair (see History).
Personality: Skater is quite absent-minded. Paying attention to something important that he isn't interested in is difficult, and he is easily distracted and prefers to busy his mind with some daydream. Skater also often forgets himself and many things that he needs to do, ranging from reporting a broken Disguise Generator to forgetting to pack Bleeprin. Skater likes to absorb himself in something he really likes to do and is annoyed when he is interrupted while doing that thing. He can get worked up and begin to stress out over small things if given a chance and a lack of sleep. He tends to monologue to anyone who is willing to listen. He does not have social skills and can say things that would be misinterpreted by others, or misinterpret others' words. He is somewhat literal-minded, feeling the need to explain every joke away, and has a hard time judging the intentions of others. He tries too hard to solve a problem himself and avoids asking for help. While he is kind with a very strong sense of justice, striking up a conversation with him will eventually lead to him saying something that sounds rude or judgmental without even meaning it. He comes down hard on himself all too easily, which can lead to some pretty angsty scenes, and it's up to his partner to show him that it's not the end of the world. He has a low tolerance for teasing and a lower tolerance for being called a furry.
History: Skater arrived at the PPC through plothole, like many others. During his training, he volunteered for an experiment devised by the Department of Analytical Science to be infused with energy harvested from plotholes, thinking that he would get superpowers. This turned out to be an unfortunate case of Wrong Genre Savvy as his body could not contain the energy and it leaked out a lot, wreaking utter havoc on his psyche and transforming him into an alter ego known as the Phoenix. During his Phoenix phase, he was vulnerable to ego explosions, being a hot-blooded anime protagonist, and completely breaking down because something reminded him of his time as a Suethor. He was partnered with Kuro in the DMS, but after two successful missions and a failed third one, it was clear his state had gotten worse and he was unfit to be an agent anymore. After a long time in FicPsych and then an insane asylum, his condition had mostly improved and he returned to the PPC, where he joined the Department of Floaters. However, when he returned, he was in for a very big surprise.
Abilities: He likes wielding a battle axe, but can function with other weapons. Also, what little power he retained from the experiment allows him to kill non-canons that shouldn't be able to die, basically bypassing immortality.
IMPORTANT: Don't get Skater started on fictional deities. Please don't.
Name: Leo
Gender: Male
Age: An indeterminate age, around a teenager?
Species: Anthropomorphic juvenile stage Tiger's Eye Dragon
Home Continuum: Dragon Story (It's a mobile game by TeamLava)
Appearance: See Species (obviously he wears clothes)
Personality: Leo is quite calm and controlled. No matter what, stress doesn't affect his ability to perform. He is one of those people born with a rare gift for words, able to convince anyone of anything. When problems arise, his first reaction is to calmly analyze the situation and come up with a plan. He is flexible and understanding. Under the strain of badfic, however, he loses his cool just like everybody else.
He is quite protective of and caring toward Skater, understanding all his little issues and differences and helping him to put things in perspective. He also helps Skater to be on time. However, under the strain of badfic, Skater just absolutely drives him up the wall, and even under normal circumstances he can be annoyed. Do not be fooled, though: They are fiercely protective of each other. Leo tends to express this by, for example, opening windows of graphically NSFB content on the consoles of people who try to provoke Skater. Skater is secretly jealous of Leo's social eloquence, but he's grateful for it.
Leo also has this little quirk where he suddenly and for no apparent reason falls in love with a Mary Sue. A quick dose of Anti-Lustin immediately undoes this, as it is not really love, but shallow Suefluence exploiting his vulnerability.
Well, I am out of space: See a later post for his history, abilities, and RC.
History: Leo was first imagined as an idea in someone's head, in a Massive Multiplayer Crossover set on an island called Ultra Island. Leo remembers no details other than it involved "more than a few Suvians" and was never published. From there, that someone attempted to recycle Leo (and a few other characters) a few times. Again, Leo doesn't remember the details. He was encountered as a semi-fic blip on a mission, just standing there, a blank slate. He was recruited, the baseline for a personality laid out, and allowed to develop. He started out in the DBS, partnered with someone who was "remarkably intelligent," but his partner retired after they tackled a Harry Potter Bleepfic and they both had spells with some... mature effects fired at them. Leo's reflexes allowed him to dodge it, but his partner wasn;t so lucky and had to retire because of the trauma. Leo transferred to the DF and was partnered with a returning veteran, Skater. They immediately recognized each other, which was quite a strange experience for Leo, and Leo learned that he wasn't just a semi-fic blip; He was Skater’s semi-fic blip! The two have been inseparable ever since.
Abilities: Because of Skater’s constant recycling of Leo, he doesn’t play by the boring, cool-fight-scene-unfriendly rules of his home continuum. Being a Tiger’s Eye Dragon, Leo has amazing reflexes, able to dodge things easily and anticipate the enemy’s moves to a degree, and when under lots of pressure… think the Ultra Instinct Shaggy video. He can also utilize a system devised by Skater based on the elemental categorization system in Dragon Story: Leo can use magic derived from all the “elements” of a Tiger’s Eye Dragon. To be more specific, since Tiger’s Eye Dragons are Gemstone/Yellow/Black hybrids, Leo can use all 3 of those elements.
• Gemstone Magic lets him fire blasts of energy from his hands and channel some power from people or things he’s in direct contact with to modify and strengthen those blasts. For example, touching Skater will let his blasts bypass immortality, being in contact with a Fire Dragon will let him shoot fire, and holding a source of canon will let him exorcise Sue-Wraiths from canon characters. Easily his most practiced element.
Yellow Magic lets him airbend to a degree. (This is his most underdeveloped element, the best he can do is permeate the room with a cooling breeze.)
Black Magic lets him use the power of the night and darkness to cloak himself in darkness and obscure himself from Sues, as well as do stuff generally associated with “evil” like conjuring black phantoms and smoke and putting curses on other people. (In practice, he cannot actually curse people. He can summon phantoms, but these have no purpose other than a diversion as they are not very strong. Invisibility is pretty useful in Suefics, though.)
Leo can also fly. It’s pretty difficult and he can only manage it for short periods of time provided he’s not carrying a Sue’s body to the Hotland lava pool or something.
As in, TV Tropes.
Name: Azoralth, once known to his comrades as the "Soul-Tracker"
Age: Uncertain
Species: Stormcast Eternal, formerly human.
Department: DoMS? Haven't decided yet.
Description:
One of Sigmar's own Stormcast Eternals, hailing from the Warhammer: Age of Sigmar setting. Like all Stormcast, he was once a faithful mortal warrior, plucked from the jaws of death by the God-King Sigmar and reforged via lightning and arcane magic into an immortal warrior. In his past life, he was a youth named Azoralth, a child of two reclusive mages of the Amethyst lore--the lore of Death Magic. (Not to be confused with the Lore of Undeath, which is necromancy.) His parents were also refugees; two of the few survivors of the Age of Chaos wherein the forces of the Chaos Gods ravaged the realms..
Before he was born, they had fled to Ghur, the Realm of Beasts, from the underworlds of Shyish, the Realm of Death. He was raised in almost total isolation, hidden away in a foreboding mountain range, and they taught him the basics of harnessing his latent magical talent for benevolent purposes and self-defense.
At sixteen summers of age, however, his world changed forever with the loss of his parents to a marauding warband of Orruks. His parents had predicted their attack on a nearby village, and presumably gave their lives protecting the village with their sorcery. When he realized they weren't coming back (they had left him alone with a black-bladed dagger and some supplies) he set out to follow their last instructions to him, left in the form of a note: "Find a Realmgate to Azyr [The Celestial Realm.] The Gates are open; seek out the God-King Sigmar for asylum in his halls."
Thus, he set off across the realms, on an adventure that would see him eventually becoming the leader of a rag-tag band of young refugees and strays of various Realms and species, on a quest to find a gate to Azyr. ALong the way, however, they were pursued by various forces of the Undead, sent by the necromantic followers of the jealous Lord of Undeath, Nagash. This culminated in an act of desperate self-sacrifice in which Azoralth fully unlocked his magical potential and challenged one of Nagash's vampire lords to a duel. The vampire, by nature unable to back down from a fight, even one so one-sided as this, accepted his challenge. Soon after, Azoralth gave up his life, buying his friends and companions time to flee to Azyr. Azoralth lay there dying as the vampire loomed over him, his friends' names upon his breath. However, before the vampire could inflict the curse of vampirism upon him, lightning struck down from the heavens, obliterating the creature. When the blinding light had faded, Azoralth was nowhere to be found...
An unspecified amount of time later, he had been reforged by the God-King, who had seen his valor and saved him from a fate worse than death. Now he was able to once again turn his magical prowess to a righteous cause, combined with the holy power of Sigmar's lightning as he took up the mantle of a Lord-Relictor--a warrior-priest charged with the protection of the very souls of his fellow Stormcast. Eventually, as his former companions died, one by one, they, too, were reforged to fight at his side as warriors of a Stormhost known as the Knights Revenant--a host of Stormcast tasked with seeking out, recovering, and maintaining knowledge and artifacts thought lost to history. He was no exception, and to this day he carries the same journal that he kept on his original journey to Azyr.
In the PPC-verse:
Once again taken up into a realm he had hardly dreamed of, he chooses to remain here due to the mission of his Stormhost in his home verse--the mission to preserve knowledge, and uncover hidden truths, the only difference being that it is now done on a multiversal scale, and instead of only fighting the foes of his home canon, in the name of Sigmar, he fights enemies of all sorts, in the name of upholding the balance of the multiverse. A part of him misses his comrades, but he has mostly accepted the burden of losing them as being for the greater good of existence as a whole.
Abilities and Weapons:
--His favored weapon, is, naturally, a relic hammer forged of the same metal as his armor--holy star-forged sigmarite, his other weapon being the black-bladed dagger his parents had left for him in his mortal life.
--He retains control over the Amethyst wind of magic, including the ability to literally see other beings' souls and interact with the deceased via physical contact with their remains. The holy powers bequeathed to him by his Reforging also remain usable, channeled through the reliquary staff he bears and manifesting in the form of holy lightning.
Well, either way, here’s my first agent:
Name: Edward Stone (formerly Edward Eagle, but he changed it because he was being teased)
Age: 20 (ish)
Species: Peculiar male
Department: DoMS, Harry Potter division
Edward is tall with dark hair and his favourite thing to do is wind his sister up. He can control water, but very rarely does because there’s not much water in HQ and it doesn’t work when he’s disguised. He lives on chocolate and coffee and is completely anti-social. In fact, with the exception of Kat, he hates people and likes to be as secretive as possible.
History: Along with his sister, he started life as an OC in an (imaginary) Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children badfic, in which his sole purpose was to turn evil because the Sue ditched him for her LO. Since being rescued by the PPC he’s been working with his sister Kat in the DoMS.
Powers: As mentioned, water control. His favourite method of killing is Avada Kedavra.
Gonna be honest, it doesn't really feel like Edward has enough characterization. His favorite thing to do is merely teasing his sister? Then again, perhaps there's a ton of characterization hiding behind his secretiveness...
However, the biggest problem I have is with the Powers section. The "His favorite method of killing is Avada Kedavra" bit really rubs me the wrong way- mostly because it reeks of trivialization. The Killing Curse is one of the three Unforgivable Curses- it's not something to be wielded like a gun or a sword. Heck, the wiki itself says that just throwing out Unforgivable Curses like nothing without Serious Consequences coming your way is a serious charge, and when it's something that can be pinned as a serious charge against a Sue, you do not want your agents doing it. (Not to mention, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children is not part of the Potterverse, and thus, Edward shouldn't be able to use Potterverse spells without a Muggle-use Wand, which don't tend to come pre-loaded with Unforgivable Curses.)
You’re definitely right about Avada Kedavra. Trivialising the Unforgivable Curses is a bit of a bad habit of mine.
As for the characterisation... I usually write the characters and develop them as I go along. Obviously I can’t do that here, so I’ll have to try a different way.
Thanks for your help!
That’s what I tried(*) to do: Use every no-permission-required opportunity to write my agents and get helpful feedback from the Board, then distill the character sheets from the stories. The trick is keeping them consistent or showing same character development through stories set in different points of their timeline, or knowing which stories that have been fun to write must be dismissed as uncanonical to get a consistent character sheet. (This doesn’t mean that these stories shouldn’t have been written in the first place; I learnt a lot about my agents and how not to write them by writing parodies of them for the badfic games.) Also, knowing how a character’s experiences formed their personality is more important to me than having a detailed physical description and a complete list of abilities.
I know of at least one other Permission Giver who would read your Permission Prompts first and only then look into your character sheets to check whether they fit or at least don’t contradict what is shown in the prompts, and what other important information is there. We actually don’t need to know every small detail about your prospective agents; we just need to know that they’ll fit in and that we can trust you that you won’t make them overpowered suvians after getting Permission.
Tl;dr: Working from detailed pre-defined character sheets may help many authors to keep their characters consistent, but it’s not an actual requirement for everybody.
(*) I tried, because after three years of writing my non-permissioned agents and doing other stuff on the Board, some Permission Givers just wanted to give me Permission and didn’t even ask for character sheets. (Apparently, Permission came to me with writer’s block, because now I’m responsible to do it right and write stuff that’s worthy of the PPC. After two more years, my agents still don’t have any canonical stories or character sheets / agent pages on the Wiki.)
HG
I don't have Permission, so I decided I'd shoot my two ideas for agents over- the first of which should be *fairly* familiar for those who were around when I was Anonymouse, although (especially in the History bit) he also takes inspiration from another character of mine, that was... also a Porygon-Z.
Technician/Agent Zeta
Full Name: Porygon-Z
--Full Nickname: PGZProject-423-Zeta
Species: Porygon-Z
Age: Indeterminate
--Mental age: Mid-20s
Gender: None
--Mental Gender: Male
Home Continuum: Pokémon, circa early Generation 7
Affiliation: PPC, DOSAT, Department of Floaters (he tends to shuttle between the two departments quite regularly)
Appearance: Zeta is a Porygon-Z, a Pokemon made entirely out of computer code, made manifest in the physical world as a collection of simple 3D shapes that combine together to form a sort of floating... duck... robot... thing. In addition, Zeta himself has been heavily modified by DOSAT, denoted by the flash patch emblazoned on his back, which can easily show any emblem- although it's most likely to show either the DOSAT smoking swivel chair, or the Floaters waterlily.
--Human disguise: Zeta manifests as a short, redheaded American man with pale skin and a pair of glasses framing a set of amber eyes. In a modern setting, his clothing typically ends up being a set of blue jeans, a blue shirt, and a red bomber jacket, typically worn unzipped.
Abilities: Zeta comes pre-loaded with the moves Conversion, Lock-On, Shadow Ball, and Ice Beam, and he also typically keeps the TMs for Ice Beam, Shadow Ball, and Thunderbolt in his personal bag of holding- that way, he can easily swap one of his two attacking moves for Thunderbolt when he needs to. As a Porygon-Z, he has the quite interesting ability to slip into and out of technology, allowing him to do everything from troubleshoot consoles from the inside, to mail himself by ICEP instead of dealing with the labyrinthine corridors of HQ. In addition, the built-in flash patch wasn't the only modification DOSAT made- he has multiple PPC gadgets built-in as subroutines he can call up, including the Universal Translator (which serves as a sort of backup- he typically communicates via text-to-speech), an RA, the D.O.R.K.S., and most worryingly, a C-CAD- along with *all* of those gadgets' drawbacks. Needless to say, he rarely uses the actual subroutines if he can help it- after all, one ends up quite a bit more protective of their C-CAD when they *are* their C-CAD.
Personality: Zeta is a take-charge, no-nonsense kind of guy, and is surprisingly quick to irritate- one of his pet peeves being the abuse and/or neglect of any technology, especially fellow AIs. He's short and to the point, rarely wanting to do anything beyond the Duty itself in a Word-World. That being said, he has a soft spot for bits victimized by the Suethor- and anything sufficiently high-tech enough can quickly become something akin to a lust object for the digital duck.
History: Zeta was born from a months-long RP based around the Pokemon universe, featuring such joys as wildly-out-of-character canons, events, locales, and people that simply ceased to exist or popped out of the ether, and Pokemon abuse and neglect, topped off with GladioN slash. (Yes, the N is capitalized for a reason. Yes, it's THAT reason.) The Porygon-Z himself was given the backstory of being one of the first Porygon-Zs in existence, created (or, well, evolved) by Team Galactic itself, and tasked with heading into various alternate dimensions- Zeta had ended up somewhere in the Distortion World for a time, and had popped out years later. Fortunately, the RP eventually detonated and fell apart in a hail of drama, and while his Word-World fell apart around him, Zeta fell into the plothole that an entirely new radio station in Virbank had risen from- and landed in the middle of the Department of Sufficiently-Advanced Technology.
Name: Kuro (real name unknown)
Age: 31
Species: Human male
Appearance: He is a medium-height white man who wears jeans and a simple gray sweater. He has a tangled, spiky mess of jet-black hair that he can never straighten out completely. He has green eyes. He usually wears a belt sporting a katana in case he needs to threaten any agent who disagrees with him on something he feels strongly about.
Personality: Kuro is a Stereotype Flip of weeaboos. On one hand, he likes anime, manga, and anything that comes out of Japan or is based on material from there. He is a social loser and a high school dropout who is hilariously bad at flirting and has multiple waifus. He has quite an ego and talks about how he is "the master of the blade" and whines about how "girls simply have no taste anymore." On the other hand, he genuinely works hard and tries to improve constantly, he tries his hardest to be polite and not creepy (to no avail), is a really nice person when you get to know him, and is physically fit enough to complete missions. He can also be quite cool when he over-dramatizes the killing of a Sue. Kuro likes to come up with new methods of exorcism, including the Exorcism Jutsu.
History: Kuro did try hard in school. He really did. It's just that getting held back once in eighth grade, twice in ninth grade, and a whopping four times in tenth grade, even when you're trying your hardest to understand the material, just breaks you after a while. He eventually gave up and set his sights on a job that got him enough money and time to live and pursue his burgeoning passion for anime. Eventually, he fell into a plothole and discovered the PPC.
He started his career at the DMS. After a sufficiently long period of time, his partner retired, and he was partnered with a newbie who called himself "the Phoenix" or just "Phoenix". The first fic they took on was Kuro's own self-insert Naruto fic, which they disposed of in the most dramatic way possible. After "Phoenix" became completely incapable of functioning after just two missions and was placed in an asylum, Kuro was partnered with... well, I haven't though about that part yet.
Powers: Kuro has enough physical abilities to pass off as a Narutoverse ninja, until you ask him to use jutsu. He is very skilled in wielding "Weeb weapons" (shurikens and katanas), but can adapt to a wide variety of weapons. Just don't hand him a gun or other ranged weapon. His weapon is a katana harvested from his self-insert Stu that also allows him to use canonical jutsu.
Department: DMS
What thing(s) make him "creepy", exactly?
To clarify, what does he do that make him "creepy"?
First and foremost: Is this character supposed to be really icky, what with the whole "Nice Guy" thing? Because I see you acknowledging that he is creepy, is a whiner, has an oversized ego, and is a loser, but I also see you saying he really tries his best and is actually a nice person if you get to know him. That's the classic "Nice Guy" excuse for blaming all their ills on the women who are rightly put off by their creepiness instead of taking responsibility for their own flaws.
So, is the intention to write a character who's like that, but will be called out on it and (hopefully) improve over time? Or, what is the intent? In other words, why do you want to write this character?
Also, physical ability aside, how does a guy who struggled so badly with schoolwork and is just scraping together enough money to live on become "very skilled" at wielding a sword? Especially a katana, since Eastern philosophy typically places as much emphasis on the mind and spirit as the body—and no decent instructor would ever condone their student drawing a sword on someone just to make a point, which is also really horrible. Returning to the point, though: How did he afford lessons? Why was he able to succeed at that but nothing else? I think a simple explanation could fix the cognitive dissonance here, but it does need an explanation.
~Neshomeh
Well, about your first criticism: He does try, he just has literally no idea how to do so. If anyone were to show him love (other than his family), he'd be so grateful that he'd immediately dump all his waifus (they're off-limits, anyway) and stay with that person forever, never even dreaming of leaving them or hurting them. He'd repay them one hundredfold in his own way. (Unless that person is Luxury. Not even he's that desperate.) While the whole character development thing wasn't my original intent, it's absolutely perfect, especially given his partner's personality. And he doesn't even realize his flaws are the problem, which is why it takes a ten-year-old going nuclear on him to open his eyes.
About the katana training: That was during his training at the PPC. Most agents are skilled at wielding swords, so it makes sense. And the schoolwork thing... not everyone has the chops for trigonometry or chemistry. It's just really not his thing.
... that putting all the responsibility on a girl (or boy, or other-gendered person) to make him change is one of the character's flaws, and it's a big one.
For the record, I absolutely believe that everyone deserves a fair shot at love regardless of non-chosen attributes like appearance, and loving and being loved can certainly have a major impact on your life, but it's not a magical cure for someone who's spent thirty years thusfar without a clue how not to act like a creep. The responsibility lies with the individual to fix their own behavior problems. Shoving it off on someone else ain't right. And it's a major issue in society (see: so-called "incels"), so please forgive me if I seem to be taking this fictional character concept that hasn't even been written yet too seriously. It's just that you're kinda playing with fire here, and I wanna be sure nobody gets burned. {= )
[Citation needed] on "most agents are skilled at wielding swords." Where do you find that to be the case? I'd say that, even if Kuro was lucky enough to find himself an agent trainer, sword instruction would only cover the basics of "how not to cut off your own arm." Certainly not nearly enough to pass as a katana expert if he just started learning in his thirties.
And ehhhh, getting held back a total of seven times and then dropping out of high school suggests to me that he either blew it off (and therefore wasn't really trying his best) or may be seriously mentally impaired and/or have other serious issues (if he really was). See, schools don't like to hold kids back if they can possibly avoid it, because it hurts their performance values. Having issues in just one or two subjects wouldn't do it. The problems would have to be very serious for them to do it multiple times. Anyway, trig and chem aren't even options in eighth and ninth grade, unless things have changed a whole lot since I was in school. You have to be able to manage basic math and general science first.
TL;DR: Much more thought needs to be put into this one to be sure his story makes sense and that he has a redeeming quality or two (that also make sense). As it stands now, I would not want to read about this character as an agent.
~Neshomeh
Yes, Kuro is from World One, so I am going to reconsider those physical abilities. He is not physically fit enough to be a ninja (but he is fit enough to be a PPC agent).
There are times when Kuro overdoes it with the dramatization, and there are times when he gets it just right.
Also, why would a wazikashi be better than a katana for non-direct combat? I will take your advice, but I'm just curious.
Like, the katana is a weapon that implies the wielder heads into combat head-on, while the smaller wakizashi... doesn't.
...Also, ah, you misspelled "wakizashi".
The whole "wakizashi are stealthier weapons" thing is a bit of a false premise. The wakizashi was also used primarily as a direct combat weapon, usually as a backup for the katana or in smaller spaces where a katana would be more unwieldy.
I personally think having a katana as a weapon is fine, agents have used larger weapons and knowing kenjutsu isn't exactly a suvian trait.
I think that you don't need the extra reach of a katana to assassinate someone, and it would be less practical to carry a longer sword. PPC agents seem to do a lot of waiting, hiding, and other such activities unfriendly to bearers of large objects.
while it is true that the extra reach is not necessary for a stealth kill, but it is certainly practical to have in case things go south. I also aware of the impracticality of large weapons in a stealth situation, but the katana isn't exactly a large weapon; the blade is usually from 60 to 73 cm long depending on time period (some are longer, it really depends on the user). If one includes the hilt, they come in at about 90 to 110 cm, which translates to about 35.43 to 43.3 inches. That is shorter than most recurve bows iirc, and recurve bows are manageable in a stealth situation. You might be confusing a katana for a tachi or nodachi perhaps?
I'm not trying to discredit you or anything, I'm just pointing out that the katana isn't really a worrying thing.
I just think it's best to use as little weapon as possible. Also katanas are a symbol of the samurai social class, and it would be a faux pas for a non-samurai to wield one.
Not quite true, the katana on it's own isn't a symbol of the Samurai class, the daishō was. The daishō (big-small) refers to a daito (longsword) and shōto (shortsword) pair. Usually this is a katana and wakizashi pair forged as sister swords, and wearing it was a symbol of office and thus was illegal for anyone other than a samurai to wear the daishō.
In any case, since the abolishment of the samurai class, anyone can use a katana, even foreigners. Actually, many people do own and can use a katana if they practice kenjutsu, and is sort of a requirement for tameshigiri (one needs a shinken to make the cuts). Although, the katana used were probably forged in China instead of Japan because of sword manufacturing restrictions. (kind of ironic if you ask me, but makes sense given the overlap between Chinese and Japanese weaponry)
Kuro doesn't really care anyway. He's a weeaboo who makes regular faux pas against people who are still alive, let alone a class of people that was abolished a long time ago.
Also, a smaller sword just seems more practical to take on missions.
Is Kuro from World One? If he is, you might want to reconsider those physicals.
I don't think someone can be cool from over-dramatization, since "over" implies that it is too much.
Also, I think a wakizashi would be a better weapon for a PPC agent, since it's smaller, and thus easier to carry around, and PPC agents don't often head into direct combat, while traditionally a katana implies that the user does so.
I hope this helps. Thoughts?
Name: Colonel Caleb Bradbury
Species: Human
Age: 56
Sex: Male
Home Continuum: An unpublished fanfic based on Daniel Pinkwater's "Borgle."
Personality: Bradbury is what is known as a “character”. He has a strange ability to procure just about anything just about anywhere, and a related ability to establish himself as an authority figure even in situations totally unfamiliar to him.
Appearance: The colonel is a gaunt man, just shy of two meters tall. His head is very round, a feature accentuated by his rather severe buzz-cut. He has a short beard, skin on the brown side, and a generally weathered look. He is a good bit more athletic than one would expect from a man his age, thanks to the medical and cybernetic science of the 2050s.
History: In his many years he has been not just an officer in the Argentine army, but also a grave digger, stamp forger, purveyor of shoddy knockoff products, piano tuner, ticket scalper, blackjack dealer, and many other things. He spent an elliptical number of years (time is elliptical in his home continuum) traveling through space, time, and the other by means of a television-detector van equipped with a Hydramatic drive, partly in search of adventure, partly to escape the repercussions of some ill-thought-out business ventures.
Name: Rasputin Gibbs
Species: Draconian
Age: 24
Sex: Male
Home Continuum: World 1.963, the world that exists in certain conspiracy theories.
Personality: On some deep level, Gibbs wants to be in a Sergio Leone movie. He doesn’t speak much, he wears a stetson, and he seems terminally calm. His interest in cookery according to the Galenic theory is just a bonus. He uses Draconian expressions in his speech, such as the greeting “Bast Chauble” and the philosophical concept of going “even more unto Yark.”
Appearance: Gibbs is a seven foot tall reptilian humanoid with a hunched posture, dark green scales, and a nice set of fangs. He is rarely seen without his stetson, and his eyes hold a look of steely determination that took him years to perfect.
History: Gibbs spent many years working as a security guard in Dulce base, a joint human-draconian military base located under Archuleta Mesa. He held himself to a very high standard, and soon became known as one of the most capable officers on the security team. With this good mixture of skill and expendability, Gibbs was an ideal candidate to send on a test jaunt through the base’s new portal. He came unstuck in space and time, and learned of Sues, or, as he called them, reality-warping entities. When we meet him, he has several unlicensed Sue killings under his belt, and has consequently attracted the attention of the PPC.
I love banality in the bizarre. A western-obsessed conspiracy-style lizardman definitely drags that out.
Agent Brandon:
NAME: Brandon
AGE: 10
SPECIES: Human male
HOME CONTINUUM: Pokémon (specifically Alpha Sapphire)
APPEARANCE: Brandon looks like the default male Trainer for Pokémon Alpha Sapphire
PERSONALITY: Brandon is sort of like Ash. He's an All-Loving Hero who's always raring to press on with his "adventure," whether it be a Pokémon journey or a mission. He wonders about everything and likes to try new things, like scanning fanart with a CAD or different methods of exorcism. He loves learning about the world around him and enjoys knowing things. He strongly believes that anyone can become stronger and better if they try, and is usually the one to advocate for recruiting non-disruptive Sues. He can often be found in a state of awe at something he just witnessed, like a kid going "That. Was. AWESOME!" He is quite naïve and prior to joining the PPC did not know that most of the things in badfic were even possible. Please forgive him if he bluescreens for a moment in a particularly bad badfic. He possesses a journal, an artifact from his home continuum.
His partner Pokémon, Swampert, is pretty casual and coolheaded. He is arguably the brains of the duo, capable of coming up with intricate plans to take down Sues.
HISTORY: Brandon was the protagonist of an Alpha Sapphire cartridge belonging to someone who did not bother with character naming or customization. Or maybe he did and Brandon just reverted to the default after entering the PPC. He really doesn't know. His cartridge was thrown away and crushed in a dumpster, and the ensuing data corruption created a plothole that allowed him to escape with the six Pokémon he had and his journal to the PPC.
Soon after he reached the PPC, he and his Pokémon were carted off to Medical for an emergency operation to treat the corruption. Only he and his starter Pokémon, a male Swampert, survived. The others were glitchy messes that eventually resolved into piles of gore. Brandon was heartbroken at his loss, but with the help of Marshtomp, he was able to emotionally recover, and they vowed to live well to make his survival count. After being trained, he and Swampert transferred to the DMS and were partnered with an agent referring to himself as the Phoenix. After two missions, the Phoenix became completely mentally insane, and was sent to an insane asylum for his health. Brandon was paired with Kuro instead.
POWERS AND ABILITIES: Swampert can Mega Evolve, but this has been a painful experience for him ever since he entered the PPC< and Brandon and Swampert prefer to use it as a last resort.
First off, that... just seems like a near-carbon-copy of Brendan, who... is a canon character. I know that that's the intention, but... I'm not particularly certain if "Brandon" differentiated himself from Brendan enough to be a separate character from him.
Second... you said that "Brandon" was borne from a copy of Alpha Sapphire where someone didn't bother to customize the character or change the name, right? ...Well, ORAS never had character customization, that was something that stayed in Kalos up until it showed up in Alola, and...
I also think we *might* have a mini-Missingno named "Brandon" we need to catch...
I DID base him on when I played Sapphire on an emulator that no longer works thanks to a system update. I must have misremembered the default male name.
Anyway, unless someone can convince me otherwise, guess I'm scrapping Brandon. Oh well.
Just needs a little more work put in to differentiate him a little more from Brendan, the canon character. That's really the only problem I personally have with the concept.