Subject: Let me try: Dark Lord's Emporium and Armoury
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Posted on: 2017-10-20 04:03:00 UTC

"WHERE HAD MY ORCS BEEN?!" Just because I often leave my shop at the hands of Golnash doesn't mean he can skip work as much as he wants.

"I KNOW IT'S DAYTIME! YOU AREN'T AS WEAK TO SUNLIGHT AS YOUR ANCESTORS WERE!" I look under the shirts on display, carefully so I don't have to fold it back. I have fermented durian business to run too, and durian-scented shirts aren't in vogue since... First Age, I guess?

I found a snoring snaga curling peacefully under a mannequin pile. I flick her nose. "Wake up! Job!"

She yawns lazily as she extended her arms. The mannequins slide down, covering her again. She jolts, "Ahh! Avalanche!"

I pinch her nose, moving it side to side a few times. "Avalanche your head! Get up, and send these mannequins to the storeroom!." She quickly starts with her work, tying the same body parts together.

I look around, trying to see if any orcs and snagas are hiding around. "Hey, Trahan, where are the rest?"

She looks up at me. Her eyes are filled with fear. That's odd, usually their eyes are filled with mischief when they look at me.

"My Lord, they are having a holiday..."

"A Holiday? A HOLIDAY???!!!" My roar is befitting Morgoth's at Lammoth, if I may enter my basket and lift it myself. I bring out my mace and swing it around a few times. "Well, where are they holidaying? I intend to give them holidays, lasting forever!"

"My Lord, you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Today's Friday the Thirteenth!"

My face loses its wrath, and now it is only filled with puzzlement. "Today's Saturday! Friday the Thirteenth's yesterday!"

"Our clock here follows Washington DC. It's 8.00 am Friday!"

I swapped my smartphone's screen. World Time... Oh yes, it's Friday. "Well, why are you not with the others? Don't you want to escape work too?"

"I want overtime. More money, can buy a Samsung android."

I clutch my stomach, laughing at her answer. "I haven't said today's a holiday!" I slam my fist at my chest, trying to stop my laughter. "You get paid your monthly wage. Unless you want to work past 5.00 pm?"

"Oooooh, yes! I get free lunch, right?"

I growl at her. "Don't empty the pantry."

She squeals in happiness and quickly cleans the shop, slapping an "OPEN" sign on the front door. I sit at the cashier's counter, throning with gloom as I wait for the first customers to arrive. This will be a long day, even with no ill luck.

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