Subject: Thoughts
Author:
Posted on: 2019-10-12 21:14:00 UTC

  • I don't quite remember what Kaitlyn and Selene's relationship is, but I can definitely feel some tension in it at the moment
    - What is going on with Kaitlyn's memories and backstory? Is anything?
    - I liked the "Jay and Acacia classic" bit
    - Smiled but remembered she was supposed to be angry is pretty adorable
    - Totally undescribed Sues being a tape recorder is a cool and funny
    - Kaitlyn, Selene, please take a few deep breaths, both of you.
    - And just as I wrote that, they did
    - Glowing eyes?
    - Oh. Well that was an unpexected twist about what the message was. I can see why Kaitlyn was being secretive about it.
    - Oh dear, that's a complication.
    - "This story's over" and then a canon song is a neat way to do the reset
    - And the mini ate the tapes!

    One thing that stood out is that the thread of the story where Kaitlyn and Selene argued and such had a very strong narrative arc - there was conflict, the climax felt climactic, and the bit where things got resolved was good. It was nice to see things clear up.

    There was also enough badfic-related humor here that it felt like a PPC mission and not just a short story, and I have a general sense of the key issues with this fic even though you didn't quote any of it. The one issue I had while reading is that it took me moment to realize the fic was doing a Rapunzel in Middle-Earth plot with Boromir saving the girl - the bit with the flowers was just indirect enough that in only made sense a line or two later.

    Your explanation of your writing process at the end was very interesting, and I might draw on some of that in the future.

    Overall, I quite enjoyed reading this and look forward to the next Driftwood installment!

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