Subject: I think someone needs to remind to that goose a fundamental truth.
Author:
Posted on: 2019-10-28 20:52:08 UTC
Namely, that it is edible. And rather good. Anybody with a gun or ranged weapon/whatever-can-kill-at-a-distance up to the task? You get dibs on best pieces of meat.
You guys might have heard of the Untitled Goose Game taking the internet by storm as of late. Naturally, I had to entertain the idea: What would happen if the Goose made it into the PPC?
It was a lovely day in DoSAT, except for the horrible goose.
This was brilliant and exactly the sort of thing that should happen in HQ. I love the variety of agents involved. Really makes DoSAT feel like a functioning department that people frequently depend on for services.
Which is another reason I want to straight up steal the idea and do it for FicPsych, the first being that it sounds like fun and I already have ideas for how to annoy my characters and also instigate a chase involving a goose and two young boys. ^_^
So, how about it? Anyone want in for a cameo? It's shaping up to be a lovely evening in FicPsych...
~Neshomeh
Okay, so! Lots of volunteers. Excellent!
A couple notes:
I want to give priority to characters that didn't have an appearance in the original story, but I'm also happy to work in those who have for the lulz. If we can give Alex goose-related nightmares and cover the Notary in some substance again, I'm so there for that. ^_^
Also, I intend to set this in FicPsych's evening, say about 8:00-9:00 pm, for Reasons. Looking at my timetable, I apparently made the mistake of only having specialists Immac and Singer with office hours at that time, but it's more like guidelines than actual rules, so let's say Elms and Mirrad are also open to having appointments. (Jenni is very much off duty and is about to have her evening quite spectacularly ruined. {= > )
Now, bearing the above in mind, here's what I need:
The less I have to work out by myself, the greater the chances this actually gets done this year. ^_~
Thanks!
~Neshomeh
or otherwise wasn't trying to be there.
If you're full up on folks, feel free to skip.
I image Peregrin would say hi to the bird and otherwise try to be friendly, and get attacked for his trouble.
Richard and Marina would be bringing a rather traumatized Harry Dresden (toss up between bad slash with Thomas or an accidental soulgaze into a glitterbag. Traumatic and extremely hard to remove from the memories). Hope nobody brought something both technological and valuable to FicPsych.
Will PM you on Discord in case spoilers come up. A lot of my agents are more than they seem...
I have an e-mail address (neshomeh dot soul at gmail dot com), or, I think this Board can use spoiler tags of some sort? I'm not motivated to go out of my way for this, and Discord is out of my way.
Anyhow, I don't need anyone's life history or their deep, dark secrets. This is just a silly story about people being briefly harassed by a goose. Trust me, nothing dramatic is going to come up. {= )
~Neshomeh
Singer will be singing, of course - maybe one of the patients is with her?
The one I'm worried about spoilers for is Feloriel. Bit of angst-related backstory spoilage
Alantha, Allanya, Iria, Reiya, and Leah could all be there for appointments, and Nowhere and Faylise sometimes show up just to play with the cats.
Ooooh. I'm gonna volunteer William annnnd... my DBS team, Dana and Tarian. They're all there to drop off the Weasley twins, who were the stars of a bad slash AND crossover fic.
Oh my god, what can I do with the Weasley twins? What can I not do with the Weasley twins? This is excellent, thank you! {= D
~Neshomeh
Well, my mind went to William first... then to the Potterverse... then to slash... and so my poor Bad Slashers were shanghaied into it. XD
And from what I've seen of fanfic over the past decade or so, Fred and George have a terrible time in slashfics.
(Just as a note - Tarian is somewhat tougher than he used to be. Somehow he's survived this long in the DBS... possibly because he's occasionally had to visit FicPsych himself, or been taken there by his partner.)
...he's probably...hm. Trying to eat dinner? Doing paperwork with his door wide open in the hopes of being interrupted? Talking to someone to avoid having to do paperwork yet? Something like that.
~Z
So yeah, Alex Dives. I haven’t decided which nurse is the one he normally sees, but he does have anxiety problems he sometimes comes in to talk about... and after his day with the Goose, he needs another chat. Maybe he’s there to see Elms?
If you're looking for a casual chat, possibly with beer involved. Well, Bleepbeer. Maybe Bleeprum. She learned how to be a good listener working in a Generic Fantasy Tavern and she has a minifridge. Hey, whatever works, right? {= D
~Neshomeh
1) The Notary, plus Gabrielle if poss.
2) The Notary is there because it's just that kind of horrible goose-related day for her. Gabrielle, on the other hand, is probably there for a session with her D&D group (as seen here). And let's be honest, what D&D game isn't improved by the Horrible Goose?
You keep saying "all of them", and you are still wrong.
They're going to be stepping on scattered caltrops d4s for weeks after this. ^_^
~Neshomeh
She's there to try and plot the assassination of Henry Robinson (who she's hoping can be found in FicPsych). She won't actually try anything in this, but she'll definitely be wanting to get an idea of how to go about it.
So far, they are not in for a therapy, but hey, this goose isn't staying inside FicPsych, eh? That, or tdropping off a canon character here as it was already mentioned.
Been ages since I've done that. =]
Anyways, yeah, you'll notice that the Notary had a brief cameo in Ix's story. I'd love it if she turned up in the FicPsych interlude as well. It's the kind of thing that'd happen to her =]
(And posting on the new Board for the first time. Fun!)
Or rather, Jacques and Gerry are in. And, y'know, anyone else you want randomly around, but they're the ones with reason to be there with some form of regularity.
(Also, I owe you emails and tags. I'll get there as the jet lag fades :) But I've seen most things and am excite.)
~Z
I'm glad Jacques is in. This suits me wonderfully. ^_^ I don't think I know Gerry, though?
(Also, very yay!)
~Neshomeh
Excellent :)
Gerry is the Nurse who used to be in the DBS (and was Dawn's partner during her brief stint there). He's still developing, but essentially:
-he tries to present himself as relatively calm, and likes to drink green tea on his breaks. -he may or may not have the mostly hidden ability to manifest draconic characteristics when very upset. -he transferred to his current department because he wanted to help characters (and people in general) and thought cutting out the witnessing of harm being done to them might be a good plan. It was, though he underestimated how limited the help he's allowed to give is (or, at least, how much those limits would frustrate him).
There's now also this from tonight's all-write, wherein he's somehow wound up in some canon (maybe a version of his home canon, I have no idea) without a portal generator handy. I don't know if it's even remotely canonical at this point, or rather how to fit it into canon in a way that makes sense (though he could always have taken a bit of not so mythical vacation time after 10+ years of probably not very much of it and wound up in this situation), but I think it's reasonably true to who he is, at any rate.
~Z
No clue how to frame it but... I'm down for it.
Any of my guys are likely to be in therapy when the Goose returns. Hey—if poor Alex needs therapy after dealing with the thing the first time around... evil laughter
None of my guys are FicPsych employees, but there could be some of them dropping off a canon who needs help? I'd be totally up for that.
Drop me a line on Discord and we can plot!
But if you need a random agent, I can do that.
However, if you're looking for more FicPSych folks, you could probably poke Moons. She's got folks that should slot in rather well.
And I mean "reason" in a very broad sense that includes anything from having an appointment, to dropping off canon characters after a mission, to being a new recruit getting dropped off after a mission, to visiting as a friend, to taking a wrong turn and ending up there by accident. And anything I didn't think of, too. ^_^
~Neshomeh
I read it... a few days ago maybe? I'm not really sure and don't have the brain to comment on specifics, but I remember it was fun. ^_^
hS
Aw, what a cute little goose! Isn't it so funny how things like spatulas that couldn't have any instinctual meaning to an animal can just grab their attention? Like, what's a goose going to do with a spatula? So silly! Honk honk!
It sure was mean of all those DoSAT technicians to go chasing after the little goose! He wasn't hurting anything by being there! He was just exploring his environment! I'm glad they didn't catch him. What a good boy! Little honker boy!
Aw, I like picturing the little goose waddle. Look at his little legs go! Waddle, waddle, waddle, honk, honk! Birds are so pretty.
Now, it was very irresponsible of that Andalite lady to leave a weapon like a lightsaber sitting around where an innocent animal could get to it. Animals don't understand that we humans sapient people make things like weapons that are designed to be dangerous and hurtful, and that poor bird could have injured himself. I'm very disappointed in DoSAT's poor safety measures in that regard.
Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Is the little goose a good birdie? I think he is! Honk, honk! Good boy, goose friend!
Oh, good! I'm glad he got all those mean humans out of the room! Animals are at their best when we let them be themselves. Now he can explore without any interruptions!
What a clever birdie! I'm so glad he found what he needed and got home. He'll be much happier without all those mean people around. It's amazing how smart animals can be!
Good boy, goose.
—doctorlit is allowed to root for the goose
It was everything I'd hoped for from the Goose. I can't believe it got a lightsaber!
... to that goose a fundamental truth.
Namely, that it is edible. And rather good. Anybody with a gun or ranged weapon/whatever-can-kill-at-a-distance up to the task? You get dibs on best pieces of meat.
FourMoonsWatching gets triggered pretty badly by thinking about people or cute things being eaten, so make sure to put a NSF4M tag in the subject line if you're going to talk about animals being eaten. She wasn't expecting it here and it caught her unawares.
—doctorlit is about to read and review this story himself, honest
Now, how did it know how to use an RA? The mind, it boggles.
... Imagine it stealing a Manual, though, and having it constantly teleport away...
This was beautiful and perfect. I love how several character's reactions mirrored those of people in the actual game (Farilan especially). DoSAT is the perfect setting, too; I think we all know how easy it is to ruin tech stuff. Just twist a few wires or walk around on some carpet before touching something sensitive...
The one thing I wish I could have seen was someone trying to scan the Goose with a CAD and realizing that it's more or less a canon character. However, that would slow down the pacing quite a bit, and as I mentioned before, the rapid descent into chaos is absolutely hilarious.
Oh, and also, the line "You know, the day just doesn't feel complete until I end up covered in suspicious goo" had me in stitches.
And there were a lot of things I would have loved to bring into the story, but pacing was my number one priority—there's only so much you can write about a lone goose outsmarting a bunch of agents before you start to question their effectiveness. (Does the Goose likely have some sort of canon protection to just be an agent of chaos? Yes, but so does the PPC. :P)
But hey, if the Goose can wander into the PPC elsewhere and create chaos in, say, Rudi's, or in the Marquis de Sod's office—I think just about anywhere might be fair game for it to terrorize.
I have no words. The blissful familiarity of everyday chaos in HQ. It's rather soothing, actually. XD
I wasn’t aware of the Untitled Goose Game, but I can guess what it’s about now. Maybe I should try to play? (Nah, there are too many other ways of procrastinating already.)
HG
"looking much more smug than any goose had a right to look" was one of the bits that made me laugh on the train
Overall, this is very PPC, I love the goose mayham, and it's nice to see interconnections between people's spinoffs.
One nitpick I have is that drenching the lab in water and foam (especially without a power cut) is going to be a pretty major thing in terms of damages and cleanup, and so having it triggered by just an alarm press would be weird. (and I'm assuming it's just a lab, not the whole department) The humor value probably outweighs that though.
What's the alternative? Halon?
Yes, Halon is a proud tradition in the history of computing and Computing Disaster Stories (BOFH, "VAXen, my children, just don't belong in some places"), but it would make this story... rather grim. So this is probably an acceptable alternative. :-P
I like the part where it steals the sandwich.
(This plug reminds me that I should try the goose game.)
Here's hoping no one gets assigned an Untitled Goose Game badfic anytime soon.
The horror now exists - or can exist - in our minds!
This was a delight - I love the pacing, and the glee that the goose exudes while wielding everything from lightsabers to sandwiches. That bird is such a menace.
Honk!
Ix, you are a genius. Is it possible to learn this level of madness? Because it is truly glorious.
To be more specific, I like how you described the goose as a "picture of innocence" in the beginning before the mayhem began, as well as the part where Lorson stopped laughing at Alex's plight. I could really feel the jazz music stops energy there. I also liked the Andalite character's shrill reaction to the goose taking the lightsaber and Alantha getting tripped by the goose and Emiran losing his sandwich... Oh, phooey, now I'm just summarizing it. I liked the whole thing.
There is a double space on the third line: "The pair’s heads shot up, and Alex spun his stool around to stare at the white goose standing by his knee." Unfortunately, you can't see it because the Board is eliminating the other space, so you'll have to find it yourself. But other than that, I think you've done a good job.
As a matter of fact, I do believe I learned a thing or two about descriptive writing and how and when to place description so as not to bog the reader down. So, arigato gozaimashita, sensei.
This is glory incarnate and I cannot thank you enough for writing it. I'm a little sad I was asleep and therefore couldn't shove Ce'rana in the Goose's path, because she would absolutely try to square off against this arrogant creature and promptly regret every life decision she has ever made, because trying to get a goose with a pen is a terrible idea.
If you want them to reference it happening, be my guest. :P