Took me long enough, but I did it.

As always, your storytelling is wonderfully surreal. I'm not 100% certain what was just done to my brain, and that's okay! I so admire your ability to put words together in ways that I would never dream of to tell a great story that is at once funny, disturbing, and at least a little bit heartwarming probably. The Stock Brokers are terrifying, and they remind me of the Discworld's Auditors. I kind of wonder what would happen if they got together for tea sometime, but I also really don't want to find out.

And, hey... I think, if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that there's nothing to be gained from angst for angst's sake. Some characters (and their cats) have a certain level of angst, and that's fine. Some characters are perfectionist dandelions and paranoid androids and fourth-wall-aware bald wizards who do Twentieth Dimensional Krav Maga, and that's fine, too! It takes all sorts to make an absurd meta fanfiction more-or-less-comedy world. ^_^

~Neshomeh

Dunno how to do all this review-y stuff very well, but I liked it, and the story and the style were captivating and all. And as you can probably tell from the other review-y things, lots of folk liked it.

So yeah. Is good.

From one of the PPC's very best ever writers.

I disagree with the Bingle-ideo-constructo-oojamaflip's assessment of Shift Twentieth as shallow comic relief, though; they're wonderful to be around and their lives feel lived rather than told. I wonder how much of that is your own negative thoughts about your writing ability seeping into the page. That's literally the only bone of contention I have with the story, though. Indrid was a wonderfully hateable doctor, Anne and Ninetwo are fascinating, Bingle and Finch are always a delight beyond words. And you write comedy so, so well. There were too many excellent jokes and turns of phrase to count, but everything involving the stockbrokers (especially Twentieth Dimensional Krav Maga) was just superb.

Shift Twentieth continues to be my favourite PPC spinoff of them all, including my own. When it comes to the PPC, you Get It, and you Get It in the most amazing way. I can't wait for the next one and I'm so glad you're continuing to write them.

I don't have much to say - I left my review brain somewhere and can't find it - but I read this, and it was... fun? Sort of fun? I'm not sure 'fun' is the right word for something so bewilderingly bizarre.

hS

I am flailing, man, flailing, okay? It's amazing, as usual.

So I just reread that all-caps introduction before the flashpatch symbol, and as tongue-in-cheek as it read initially, it basically foreshadows the entire story, doesn't it? Even the line about stock brokers, which seems like a throw-away gag line on the first read-through, turns out to be the actual conflict of the story. Brilliant. Genius. Even the title, calling it "The Angsty Story," is brilliant misdirection, because the story can only be said to be angsty in the most superficial way. It's about angst; it doesn't actually contain any! If anything, this is "The Sincere Story," considering the shift finally acknowledges both how ineffectual and lazy they are compared to most of HQ, and also the fact that they actually do care about each other, even though they're rarely so honest with each other about it.

Okay, now I'm rereading that first scene with the stock brokers, and am I seeing a hidden meaning here as well? "We must not retro-unlearn the problematics of incising with a Flower . . ." Does this actually take place after all the rest of the story?

I love that you focus so much on Ninetwo's state of mind in the janitors' first scene that you manage to sneak the Local Unraveller right by us, with no indication it's going to be important later. I also love the detail that Ninetwo, finding herself suddenly feeling angst, has been studying how to angst correctly rather than recognizing that there's a problem.

Oh man. I took it for granted that all of Medical's staff had to be, like good at their jobs, and have bedside manner. Indrid has opened my eyes to what Medical has been lacking: a doctor with as much professionalism as most field agents have. I'm also amused the cat was somehow developing an angsty backstory before the doctor caught it.

And some of the next part of the story gets downright spooky, and I am in awe that you managed to continue with your usual surreal unseriousness, while still giving us a gravestone that arises from nothing with unreadable gibberish text, Ninetwo having a legitimate existential break-down in a graveyard, and an entire dream plane of featureless humanoids that seem to only speak in business buzzword jargon and manipulate people's emotions in the name of profit margins. It's all very unsettling, but never actually dips into scary or dark territory.

Finally, I have to say I love that you finally really showed off Bingle's magical potential, while still keeping him Bingle and making him largely useless. It was nice seeing Ninetwo get to flex her thought muscles for some actual combat, as well.

But no matter how well you write, you can never escape . . . doctorlit's typo lists!

"‘Your mites are perfectly content with the--frankly ridiculous--ambient levels of angst emananting, constantly, from yourself.’"

"‘Suppose they-re mites so strong, they eat and kill angst mites. And they move fast the doctor can-t even see them.'"
I think you wanted "there're" (or "there-re" I guess). Also, the "so" is missing from "move so fast".

"‘Good Heavens,’ Bingle said, briefly horrified . ‘Well. Thank you, Ninetwo!’"
One of the periods is horrified, too. It is so horrified, it's sliding away from the word "horrified".

—doctorlit thanks Larfen for teaching him the new word "abseiling"

Here is my evidence:

• Exhibit A: Larf openly admits that he held on to this story for 1 year, despite repeatedly being told to release it.
• Exhibit B: The characterization in this story truly is amazing. Larf's capability to convey what all of his characters are about, even those who only appear once like Doctor Indrid, through actions and dialogue alone, even to someone who hasn't read any other Flaming Broomsticks stories, is unparalleled anywhere in the PPC. The characters themselves are all strong caricatures, but in the Ace Attorney way rather than the "Lazy Writer" way: They have depth, they aren't stock characters, and Larf clearly put a lot of effort into creating them and fleshing out their thoughts, yet a single conversation with them instantly reveals in general what they are about.
• Exhibit C: The character development in this story is also amazing. It was heartwarming to see Shift Twentieth grow closer together, to hear even someone as grumpy as Finch try to help Ninetwo. I can't wait to see their character dynamics in the future.
• Exhibit D: The humor is truly spectacular. I am immune to all forms of PPC humor, sadly, but even I could tell that the jokes are well-made and land well when reading this. The meta-joke about the angst-mites was funny and fit well into the context of the PPC.
• Exhibit E: Finally, Larf's excuse for withholding this story doesn't hold up. Although it is a different type of story than one normally writes in the PPC universe, Larf is a different type of person than the rest of us. Varied voices are required to truly flesh out a collaborative setting like the PPC, and all of us contribute something important. As mentioned before, the angst-mites are a concept that fit well into the setting of the PPC and succeed in delivering an effective meta-joke about the setting.

In conclusion, it is abundantly clear that Larf has not only withheld good writing from us that could have helped the setting, but failed to provide a proper excuse to do so. There is simply no way that this can go unpunished. It is untenable. It sets bad precedent. If we let this go, soon everyone will be keeping perfectly good missions, interludes, and RP logs to themselves! Nothing will ever be published in the PPC again! Larf must be swiftly and harshly punished to show future writers what happens when you withhold good writing from a writing group.

It's sometimes really refreshing to read different types of story within the same universe, so Kudos. That said, I have to admit I hope the Angst-Mites don't spread too far throughout HQ, that has the makings of some serious danger.

and I'm glad I was awake at my 3 AM or so to encourage you to post it.

Sure, this isn't quite a typical PPC piece, but it's a very nice bit of surreal meta humor - which is a big component of the PPC. The writing style's also got (from my vague memory of part of that book) Catch-22 vibes.

I wasn't expecting angst mites, and they were a pretty neat concept.

Other particularly memorable bits are the doctor, that Krav Maga bit, the thing with the atom rent crashing out of the computer, the Brooding Bluffs scene, and Bingle's encouraging speech.

The ending was also rather heartwarming and I hope Shift Twentieth grow closer together etc etc.

In summary, Larf, you did a good, thanks for sharing.