Subject: Commentary
Author:
Posted on: 2023-01-05 01:03:39 UTC
So not only does the Sue strut around sans clothing, she also can't be bothered to do basic research on realistic speeds for flight craft. That is concerning.
On the other hand… we got the Derik Singing Incident.
(With apologies to Lily for having a plug right on top of hers. ^_^; )
"Kitty Fever" (also on AO3), featuring a sex-crazed catgirl Sue at the speed of sound! Thanks to Ekwy for beta'ing.
This one's from Gall's point of view, so it's less introspective and angst-filled than my usual stuff. It was fun to write. I hope you enjoy it!
~Neshomeh
Ha ha ha ha ha, yes! The mini-Furys do take things seriously, don’t they? X D I’m half surprised S.H.E.I.L.D didn’t find a way to break back into the Word World to finish the mission! Also, I love that the disguise generator represented Derik’s eye situation by emulating the real Fury!
Oh noooo, Dr. Feline does indeed sound like she’s Jessica Rabbit-shaped . . . I actually find it hard to look at Jessica because my brain insists on imagining what her spine and organs are doing, so having to picture Feline throughout this mission was rather unwelcome. Plus, at least Jessica stays clothed all throughout her movie . . .
I like the scene with the “helicraft.” Gall got so excited about visiting the MCU, I’m glad she also had to experience one of its negative aspects: the noisy, military-grade technology! It’s pretty wild the thing annihilated the sound barrier twice over like that. We’re so used to spatial and temporal distortions in Tolkien’s works, but it reaches a whole other level when the characters have access to aircraft technology! It also led to that sweet scene of Derik being supportive and caring towards Gall, something she doesn’t often give him the opportunity to do.
“Kitty wanna play a game with tony” Aaah. Aaaaaaaaaaah. Like, I hate Stark, but this just isn’t how he talks; even when he’s being a lech, he at least sounds smoother than this. The worst part is, the actual prank does sound like the sort of thing he would do. I can even picture the script writers leading into it with a fake-out innuendo, just . . . not with this phrasing, this psychologically damaging phrasing. In fact . . . I’m so sorry, but I have to do this now:
Tony stared into the bottom of the liquor glass. “Hm. A cat . . . shapeshifter.” He slid the glass around the bar in a circle, stirring the contents. “And none of my other soon-to-be-tolerated house guests have arrived yet. Doctor, I wonder if you’d be interested in having a little fun?” He stepped out from behind the bar and approached the couch where Dr. Feline was lounging, somehow stretching across all three cushions despite her height.
She lolled her head back and eyed Stark warily down the bridge of her nose. “I’m rather partial to fun, Mr. Stark, but I’m not sure Mrs. Potts would approve.” She raised an eyebrow.
“Please, call me Tony,” Stark replied, turning his head to the side as though modeling his face for her. “Or Iron Man, that one still hasn’t gotten old. But no, I was thinking something significantly less mature. See, nobody else knows what your power is. I would love to find out how long it takes . . .” Now he raised an eyebrow.
“. . . That the housecat in the room is part of the team.” Dr. Feline smiled.
Stark raised the glass in a toasting gesture. “Is kitty game?”
“Kitty is game.” And Dr. Feline began to change.
Bah, sorry, just had to work that one out of my system.
Augh! I’m also sorry you had to deal with “taunt waste,” but I think you handled it as well as anyone could. Not to brag, but the second the agents started talking about portaling the waste away, my kneejerk reaction was, “Gosh, they could just throw it into the Bog of Eternal Stench, no one would notice it there.” And behold! We’re on the same wavelength!
Okay, so . . . to understand my reaction to Derik’s song, I first need you to understand that I have never sat and listened to “Down Under.” Like, I know the song exists, I’ve heard bits of it on the radio, but I never actually sit and listen, because it is slow and boring and does not fuel me with energy, like a song should. So I get to that section of this story, see the format change, and I’m like, “Whoa, Neshomeh wrote a whole original song for this mission! That’s amazing! It looks like maybe a rap rhythm?” So then I read the first line, don’t recognize that. Then I read the second line, and I’m like, “Oh, that’s from that one famous song that I never listen to because it sucks. Isn’t that song about Australia? And Dr. Feline was living in Australia. Neshomeh is so clever! What a clever reference!” And then I get through that first big I don’t know the words for song parts I’m going to say stanza, still recognizing none of it, but then I hit the chorus, and I’m finally like, “Oh, it’s not an original song that references the sucky Australia song, it’s a filk of the sucky Australia song.” And then the full force hits me. Derik. Is filking. In the Hulk’s face. Derik is filking the Hulk in the face. It’s so beautiful, Nesh. It’s so beautiful. And that’s the whole story of me reacting to Derik’s song. I love that the powers that both agents gave themselves factored into the mission’s success, but Derik’s scene is unquestionably the best.
New word learned: “chunder,” but I could have done without it, I think . . .
—doctorlit comes from a land warmed over (I mean not right now but you know desert humor hah hah)
> S.H.E.I.L.D
True confession: at one point I definitely thought about bringing the mini back later in the mission, since the misspelling pops up in the summary/dossier/prologue at the start of every frickin' chapter. But... I forgot what I wanted to do with him, and by that time I'd decided to avoid the chapter starts. >.> So the main reason that scene stayed in is that I knew you'd get a kick out of it. {= ) If the Minitiative is still recruiting, he's all yours!
> Jessica Rabbit
I knoooow! >.< I didn't highlight it, but Feline's "plump pink lips" contribute to the image, too. But also make me think of a sex doll. Blech.
> something she doesn’t often give him the opportunity to do
Ah, thank you for noticing that! <3
> Tony Stark
Haha, I'm sorry this nonsense made you write a minific? But yes, I definitely like your version better. And good on you for remembering Pepper exists!
> taunt waste
Yay, I'm glad that plays well. I thought about having them transport it to HQ, maybe down in the endless heap that Shift Twentieth got lost in, IIRC. But I decided that was just too cruel.
> song
Yeeeeeessssss! This reaction is beautiful and amazing, and I'm very relieved the filk (as opposed to original work) didn't turn out to be a disappointment in the end!
I had never sat down and listened to "Down Under," either. It's weird, weird song. It's not something I'd normally listen to by choice, and it's definitely not to Derik's taste. It was just one of those things that, once the idea got into my head, it wouldn't go away, so I had to do it. I figure that was the downside to that superpower: he could mesmerize people with song, but only using silly pop music tunes. And hey, that way he really wouldn't be tempted to overuse it, too! {X D
Not that it needs an explanation, I know, since it's not likely to come up again. You might say it was a... one-hit wonder.
{B )
~Neshomeh out!
Reading Gall's character voice really made this mission enjoyable! And haha, Derik, sorry about the musical number, but it's pretty neat that you got some relevant charges in there! I was a little bit thrown by Derik's song lyrics being in blockquotes like the fic text, but I guess the italics helped differentiate it a little more?
I remember the taunt waste joke when you first workshopped it and it's still hilarious. Great job!
I'm glad people are enjoying the visit to Gall's perspective. It was a good exercise for me.
Re. blockquotes, yeah, I hear that. I'd assume you're reading on AO3? I wish they didn't add that left bar to blockquotes. It plus the extra top and bottom padding really draw the eye away from the surrounding text—which sucks extra if you're like me and your eye is already tempted to skip to whatever is indented/bolded/italicized/otherwise offset. >.> Given the distraction, I hope the narrative introducing Derik's song as such still helped, too.
Glad to hear the "taunt waste" bit holds up on a second reading. Thanks for being a sounding board for it. ^_^
~Neshomeh
Man, how awesome it is to see you write again. About the fic though… yikes.
Some issues: in the mobile version of the site, the floating box on the left side forces the text into a narrow collumn on the right. Is there a way to fix this?
I designed my site to be read on a desktop screen, so that's my first recommendation, but here's what I do to view it on mobile:
Turn the device sideways, center the content column on the screen, and zoom in until it fills the screen. Be careful not to scroll horizontally and muck it up.
Or read on AO3 instead. They have professional coders (which I am not) who know how to optimize everything for everything (which I don't).
Either way, thanks for reading!
~Neshomeh
So as to be the first to give kudos. Also, forgot to say it earlier, but I loved the “taunt waste” gag.
—Ls
takes a break from messing with character.ai to look at the Board
GASP!
Neshomeh wrote another story!
Alright, gonna go read it now.
Mostly I want to see what the AI is capable of as well as what its limitations are. It can get weird sometimes. (For example, it thinks Pinkie Pie is Irish for some reason.) Plus, it can be fun to mess around with it.
Like, SCP-682!Bot told me his name was Steve. You don't hear something like that every day.
Such are the joys of life.
So not only does the Sue strut around sans clothing, she also can't be bothered to do basic research on realistic speeds for flight craft. That is concerning.
On the other hand… we got the Derik Singing Incident.
Dr. Feline is the silliest Mary Sue I've had the pleasure to spork. Naked catgirl at the speed of souuuuund! ^_^
Ultimately, I think Derik realizes the filking thing wasn't so bad. The fact that the musical quality of it is his chief concern is a clue that he's not deeply upset. Plus, he laughs instead of angsting about accidentally mesmerizing Gall again by humming. Like Gall points out, at least he wasn't pseudo-possessed or in a problem-avoiding creative fugue state—he chose this, and that matters. She's perceptive like that, even though she couldn't articulate as much if you paid her. {= )
Thanks for commenting!
~Neshomeh
Ah. So it’s Derik and Gall vs. Hulk-seducing Knockoff Catwoman (which is definitely her name). I absolutely loved that the song was “Down Under”.
—Ls, lovin’ it
...I shall say it again: The fact that her name is Dr. Feline and that she is taken seriously by literally anyone is deeply upsetting to me. That she can turn into a cat and that her code name is "Kitty" makes me even more upset. It's so one-note, and the note is 'cat'.
Enjoyed the mission still! =D Especially Derik's singing. Inspired, even if he would disagree.
I'm now imagining that this is the photo in her dossier:
(Fun fact: a musician friend of mine uses one of these in some of her tracks, such as this demo. {X D)
~Neshomeh
I am a cat. As of yet I have an incredibly on-the-nose name.