Subject: It's very sweet!
Posted on: 2023-05-20 04:23:18 UTC
I would second the abruptness that Linstar mentioned, but I think part of that is because... I don't see much of a conflict in it? Besides the little bit at the end, where T'Lai mentions not eating cake, there isn't a problem for the agents to tackle in the vignette. And even the culture clash of Vulcans not really eating cake is not quite a problem because Alexa shrugs it off.
I'm not saying that all stories should have conflict between the characters, but even these things like "baking a cake" can have problems in the process that make it a very entertaining story. What if Alexa wanted to bake, but isn't very good at following instructions? What if she couldn't get the ingredients she needed, or some of the ingredients could only be gathered in some obscure continuum she's never been to? ("Why is this recipe calling for Spice Melange? I'm not putting space travel drugs in my cupcakes!") What if the only oven she has access to is in an antigravity kitchen? What if she tried to borrow a Time Lord's TARDIS kitchen? etc, etc. That way you're able to showcase the wacky side of something so mundane as baking in HQ, and it'll give you more to write even without needing to cause conflict between Alexa and T'Lai (though if I had to sneak into Dune for ingredients and bake the cake in an antigravity kitchen and then my partner said "Oh, no, I don't like cake", I would totally smash their face into the cake. But that's just me :P )
Anyway, it's a good start, but I'd love to see more of how Alexa ended up with the cake because that's where you can really let the HQ setting shine. :)
~Lily, who also wondered why this was its own post, but figured it was just a misclick or something.