Subject: The paragraph in question
Author:
Posted on: 2011-09-21 18:10:00 UTC
Cindy and Xanthus both looked on, and then they gave disgusted looks too. “My… Oh my… For Merlin’s sake, Anneli, I didn’t need that image!” she said. “I only just read some of Freud’s papers!”
It should be made a bit more clear that Cindy is the one speaking, since the first sentence does not deliberate which agent is the specific subject.
A more clear example might be something like: “My… Oh my… For Merlin’s sake, Anneli, I didn’t need that image!” Cindy said, her face twisting with disgust. Out of the corner of her eye should could see Xanthus making a similar expression. “I only just read some of Freud’s papers!”
And the godawful ones are so easy to spork because they give you the most ammunition. They almost mock themselves.