Subject: Dear various PPC authors,
Author:
Posted on: 2009-06-06 08:45:00 UTC

I have some confessions to make.

Firstly, I don't care about your drama. Your "epic" story arcs, your ZOMG SOOOO AWSUM Agents, your OMG THAR IS AN EMERGENCY WE GOTTA FIGHT AN HAVE AWSUM STUFF HAPPEN...did you ever stop to consider that PPC missions are meant to be...well, normal life for an Agent, as normal as the whole thing can be? You go in, you rant a bit, you snark, you kill the Sue, you leave. It's what we do. We're not here to attract attention; we're here to get the job done.

Secondly, I am not impressed by your big weapons. Please remember that we do this for the comedy and for the 'verses. And you know what? Being the underdog is funny. We're not supposed to be superior. It's why we call it the Duty. Because that's what it is...a duty, something that we want to do not because we get to be all flashy and use big weapons, but because worlds that we love are all the better for it. The job itself...we hate. But we do it for the effects that the work we do has, and people seem to have forgotten that.

Thirdly, I'd like to beat some sense into whoever decided that we should have Emergencies every other month. One of the things that makes something special is that it is few and far between, and this applies greatly to Emergencies. Once they happen annually, or even bi and trianually, they're not special anymore. They're boring and become trivial...which goes completely against the whole concept of an Emergency. It ties back into the comedy versus drama thing: drama is great, but it's not what the PPC is all about. Not to mention that it completely messes up the status quo. Sure, the death of Makes-Things was sad and plot-driving, but we needed him.

Fourthly, I understand that you really, really want to add to PPC canon, but don't forget that you do that just by writing missions. Consider leaving major decisions, like what Flower is going to be Head of which Department/Division up to the people who are directly affected by said decisions. Namely, the people writing for said Departments and Divisions. Think about it this way: you add a Flower to a Department that you don't evern write for. Good for you, you've just added to the canon, but you're not doing anything with it. But then someone wants to write in that Departemnt, and they're the first to do so. Wouldn't it maybe be their right, as authors actually working with that Flower, to decide the specifics of said Flower? They're the ones feeling the affects of the decision. Now, I'm not saying that only certain people should be allowed to add to the canon. I'm saying that certain things should be left to the people that they directly apply to.

Fifthly, I really don't care how many tropes you have in your mission. I don't care if your Agent has a BFG or CMOA...it's a mission, frak it, and frankly, for all of your tropes your sporkings are lacking. Bear in mind that there is a reason that something is on TVTropes: it's cliche and used all the time. So when you write it just like you see it on TVTropes, that's what your mission becomes: cliche and boring.

Finally, your originality stinks. Cool, your Agent is a taller-than-average man who can't be beat at fights physical or magical, and is also a very experienced Agent that nothing surprises anymore who is somewhat angsty because he has a bad past. Does he have any character flaws? Any little quirks that liven him up a bit? Does he have a unique personality? No? Then why should I care about him? And why is he any better than the Stus that we try so hard to kill? There's been a sudden influx of Agents that are more Sue/Stu than person, and it's not only saddening but bloody hypocritical. Take another look at your Agents...maybe you'll see that their originality is only on the surface. If so, I hope you'll do what you can to make them a true character.

There you have it. I hope it's been enlightening, because, at the moment, I want very little to do with the PPC community and where it's heading. I'm not saying that you're terrible people, I'm just saying that the actual PPCing itself is looking pretty shabby compared to how it was a few years ago when I first joined. So now I'm challenging you to look at yourself, to say, "I can do better than this," and then to proceed to do better than this (and don't think that I consider myself exempt from this, because I definitely don't).

Good luck,

Sara

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