Deuce was in difficulties. His Stu counterpart was just as short and scrawny as he was, but (being a Stu) possessed unnatural strength and a katana. Deuce cursed both inwardly and out loud. He was skilled in hand-to-hand combat, having lived on the streets for a good three years of his life, but one of the skills he'd never gotten the hang of was sword fighting.
Stu!Deuce whirled the katana in a flashing figure-8, for the sake of showing off his skill, before swinging it downward at Deuce's head. The PPC Agent managed to catch the katana strike with the crossed blades of his daggers, and kicked the Stu hard in the lower stomach for good measure. Before he could recover his balance fully, the Stu brought the katana down and around, slashing at Deuce's abdomen. Only his swiftness saved his life, but the blade still caught him in the side. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Deuce switched his grip on one of his daggers and flung it. Stu!Deuce dodged it gracefully.
Snarling, Deuce ducked the flashing katana blade and maneuvered through the fighting to the dagger he'd thrown. Summoning up his nerve, he stooped to retrieve it.
He was too slow. Stu!Deuce made his move and cannoned into him, knocking him to the ground and jarring the remaining dagger out of his hand.
Deuce found himself flat on his back, with the dagger he'd attempted to pick up just within his reach. He stretched out his hand to grab it when the Stu drove the blade of the katana through the downed agent's shoulder. Deuce could not hold back a cry of pain, and he felt the sword's tip scrape the ground beneath his bleeding shoulder.
"Oh, no you don't!" the Stu hissed. "How dare you, you evil, murdering PPC agent! Suevians are superior! We will cleanse the Multiverse of your fil-"
Deuce grabbed his opponent's uniform front with the hand connected to his uninjured shoulder, dragging him down. When the surprised Stu was within reach, Deuce raised his head and sank his jagged teeth into the side of the Suevian's neck. With a savage jerk of his head, Deuce tore out the Stu's jugular before shoving the twitching body to the side. A strangled "urrrgghhnnn..." escaped from the dying EPC agent's mouth.
I hope he regenerates like me, please let him regenerate like me, Deuce thought frantically. The Stu, however, stayed dead, and Deuce inwardly rejoiced having thwarted the Ironic Overpower.
Suddenly, Sue!Adder was looming over him, pointing an M-16 in his direction with a twistedly beautiful smile on her face. Deuce nearly panicked right then and there, but--
"HEY! YOUR FIGHT'S WITH ME, BOYO!" Eyes still suffused with blood, Adder advanced on her counterpart, her lightsaber held at the ready.
"Relinquish your weapon or your partner dies." Sue!Adder said flatly, only to be beheaded two seconds later.
With the atrocity dead, the Bloodwrath faded. "Deuce! You okay?" she asked her partner worriedly.
"Oh, I'm fine," Deuce replied dryly. "I'm just lying here relaxing, pinned to the floor by a sword through my shoulder. Be a dear and get it out, will you?"
Adder complied as carefully as she could. Deuce bit back a scream of agony, his blue eyes closed, and he passed out from the pain.
Taking up her lightsaber, Adder stood over her partner and lashed out furiously at any Suevian foolish enough to get too close.