It is in fact as bad as the first two, if not worse, and there a number of moments that made me say 'BWUH?!' at the top of my voice.

Yeah, it wasn't good.

I actually haven't even touched Eldest, since the first atrocity was enough to turn me off to the dude.

So far, though, I've looked at a few different reviews, and they seem to be either

1) This book was awesome, it was perfect, Paolini pulled off another hit and if you didn't like it, well, you're not the intended audience (BWAH? I'm not "too old" for it, I'm freakin' eighteen!) and should probably stick to your generation's classics and stop nitpicking. Or something.

2) This book wasn't a worthy conclusion of the first two, which were amazing, because of A) the plot was too slow and there was way too much filler, B) the pacing was weird (which amounts to the same thing, really), or C) What. The. Heck? I don't know what he did, but it was not nearly as good. He should've just taken a little longer and finished the series. [The general consensus seems to be that if he had too much for one book, he still didn't have enough for two, and should've just cut stuff to make it fit.]

3) Another disappointment by Paolini, I'm not sure why I picked this up after the first two, but it's basically more angsting, more whining, more Eragon-can-do-no-wrong hero worship, more self-insertion. Don't bother.

*shrug* That's what I've seen, anyway. I'll probably be towards the third camp.

(Does anyone know where I can find a good snarky synopsis of the first, or second books? I remember one Agent doing them, but haven't seen them in a while, and for some reason I'm thinking it was Nscangal, but that might've been 'cos she did the DaVinci Code... thing. 's like a cross between a review and an MST.)

Also, I can't be the only person who's waiting with bated breath for the day after Mr. Paolini finishes his book, and then stages a press release, saying "OH my GOD, I can't believe people actually bought that! Dude, I just lost a bet with my friend for $1,000! He told me people would buy the worst book I could put out as long as I threw enough fantasy into it, but I never would've believed him... Ah, well. Let me get on and see if I can write something for the real fantasy readers out there now, eh?" (seriously. I want something to redeem the homeschooled authors out there.)

One of my dormmates picked it up, and declared it abandoned in disgust yesterday. This evening, after classes, I shall delve into the void of canonical badfic.

Emperor, guide my mind. For though I walk in the valley in the shadow of badfic, I shall fear no badfic, for I am what the badfic fears.




(Actual PPC members qualify as inspiring pants-wetting terror, not mere fear)

I've read the first two, so I have a certain morbid curiousity about whether he can make this one even worse. But then again, that would involve parting with money for the thing - and 20 ish dollars is too much to pay for something that will probably end its life as a coaster!

I do have one friend - an intelligent person in virtually all other respects - who actually likes CP, so maybe I'll borrow it from her.

Elcalion

...because I'm probably going to stay as far away from it as possible. Did he really put the Doctor in there? Or rip off of Doctor Who in any way?

But couldn't find the stomach to continue. Even the slightest mention of this book sends me into an apoplectic rage (well, at least a very long rant).

As I do to read SMeyer's Sparkly Vampire series. A friend of mine read Eragon, and when it was mentioned at dinner and I said the parts I had read and what I had heard made it sound like an obvious Star Wars-meets-LotR rip-off, he nodded his head and agreed rather emphatically.

And to think he can churn out this dreck and I still can't work out where to go with my two epic novels I'm working on - one an expansive noir novel and the other The Adventures of Heist the Porcupine.

And that was enough. After I finished, I literally threw it at my wall in disgust. And the movie wasn't any better. I agree with the comment someone made; that it's simply Star Wars retold via Lord of the Rings, with a bit of Dragonriders of Pern thrown in.

The reason publishers publish it is because it does appeal to the masses, unfortunately. Since a lot of us are widely-read, and have the ability to critically analyze a book by looking at it, that's why you'll hardly find a good word about it around here. It's a generic fantasy novel with elements of others, thus making it easy to read, and even easier to create your mental images of what's happening in there. In a lot of cases, people won't even realise that the plot is essentially Star Wars, since it has dragons and it's in a fantasy setting, as opposed to the Sci-Fi genre of Star Wars.
What really irks me is that all these people are praising him because of the age he was when he released the books. 'Oh he's so talented, and so young!'. Too bad they're mistaking talent for determination.

Ok, that's the end of Artic's rant, brought to you by the letters W,T and F.

Ugh. Don't get me started on Brisingr. I'm over 200 pages in, and absolutely NOTHING of importance has happened yet. I'm starting to think that it might just be another brick of filler material until Eragon finally kills off Galbwhatever in Book 4.

Mild spoilers below in the event anyone cares...

Paolini seems to have picked up on a few teenage trends, as there's a cutting scene and a furry. Well, okay, the cutting scene is a "test of strength" over who gets to lead the rebels, but it reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of the emo!Sue cutting her wrists in badfic... And the furry is an Elf guy who decided to take on the form of a wolf, or something to that effect. Apparently he gives off a scent that makes all the women in the vicinity want to mate with him. >.
And yeah, emo!Eragon. Good Lord. One minute he's angsting over how many people he's killed, then he mercilessly kills a soldier who's begging to be spared, then he angsts over that, then he kills some more people... Ugh. I'm rather pacifistic, so I'm in pain at those parts... >.
[/rant]

Good to be back on the Board, though. I need to remember to show up here more often... XD

Paolini really did rip off other fandoms. >.
I read Eragon, but I couldn't get through Eldest. It was too...boring. I'd rather read fanfic any day!
And I heard that in Brisingr, if that's the proper spelling (can't have minis popping up!), Eragon goes all emo because he got some wierd Gary Stuish mass-murder power. Go figure. *eyeroll*

I'll never understand this.

I only saw the movie, and that was after hearing all the criticism around here, and I spent the entire time MSTing it. The books - won't touch 'em, and relieved to say so.

*whacks Morbid Curiosity yet again* DOWN, boy!

Cos I haven't read any of them, but now that I've heard so much about how awful they are, I'm actually dying to, just to see 'How Bad Can It Be?'

Problem is, the local library's copies are all out all the time, and I'm damned if I'm *buying* the things.

... but from what I've heard, it's really bad. Someone was comparing it to "The Eye of Argon" and had excerpts from both. My first thought when I read one of them was "Wait, I don't remember reading this part in 'The Eye of'--oh, Glaurung, no!"

Also, someone needs to tell CP that "humping" may mean what he thinks it does, but it has some ... other meanings, too.

but as I know that it's been bought for one of my Christmas presents (shouldn't know, but came home earlier than was expected and saw it as I was helping unload the car), I'll get to read it then.

If anyone hears an apoplectic scream from the direction of England on Christmas Day, that'll be me cracking open the book.