Subject: My Morbid Curiosity is kicking me in the teeth
Author:
Posted on: 2008-10-21 20:59:00 UTC
Cos I haven't read any of them, but now that I've heard so much about how awful they are, I'm actually dying to, just to see 'How Bad Can It Be?'
Problem is, the local library's copies are all out all the time, and I'm damned if I'm *buying* the things.
From the reviews that I have been reading, it is pretty bad. It is as Marty Stuish as the first two, with only added angst that disapears after the scene that it is in.
How can this boy think that he is a good writer? Any publisher worth their salt would not publish it, and they didn`t, but they must be kicking themselves in the teeth for not doing it now.
I feal for the human race if this pile of blatant plagerism can get good rep.
So, those that "won" the dubious honour of having to read this book after the Harry Potter gambling, what are your opinions?
Leto
It is in fact as bad as the first two, if not worse, and there a number of moments that made me say 'BWUH?!' at the top of my voice.
Yeah, it wasn't good.
I actually haven't even touched Eldest, since the first atrocity was enough to turn me off to the dude.
So far, though, I've looked at a few different reviews, and they seem to be either
1) This book was awesome, it was perfect, Paolini pulled off another hit and if you didn't like it, well, you're not the intended audience (BWAH? I'm not "too old" for it, I'm freakin' eighteen!) and should probably stick to your generation's classics and stop nitpicking. Or something.
2) This book wasn't a worthy conclusion of the first two, which were amazing, because of A) the plot was too slow and there was way too much filler, B) the pacing was weird (which amounts to the same thing, really), or C) What. The. Heck? I don't know what he did, but it was not nearly as good. He should've just taken a little longer and finished the series. [The general consensus seems to be that if he had too much for one book, he still didn't have enough for two, and should've just cut stuff to make it fit.]
3) Another disappointment by Paolini, I'm not sure why I picked this up after the first two, but it's basically more angsting, more whining, more Eragon-can-do-no-wrong hero worship, more self-insertion. Don't bother.
*shrug* That's what I've seen, anyway. I'll probably be towards the third camp.
(Does anyone know where I can find a good snarky synopsis of the first, or second books? I remember one Agent doing them, but haven't seen them in a while, and for some reason I'm thinking it was Nscangal, but that might've been 'cos she did the DaVinci Code... thing. 's like a cross between a review and an MST.)
Also, I can't be the only person who's waiting with bated breath for the day after Mr. Paolini finishes his book, and then stages a press release, saying "OH my GOD, I can't believe people actually bought that! Dude, I just lost a bet with my friend for $1,000! He told me people would buy the worst book I could put out as long as I threw enough fantasy into it, but I never would've believed him... Ah, well. Let me get on and see if I can write something for the real fantasy readers out there now, eh?" (seriously. I want something to redeem the homeschooled authors out there.)
You want Kippur's sporkings, which may me found at the below address. And they're most definitely worth reading.
http://eragon-sporkings.wikispaces.com/
One of my dormmates picked it up, and declared it abandoned in disgust yesterday. This evening, after classes, I shall delve into the void of canonical badfic.
Emperor, guide my mind. For though I walk in the valley in the shadow of badfic, I shall fear no badfic, for I am what the badfic fears.
(Actual PPC members qualify as inspiring pants-wetting terror, not mere fear)
Gotten through the first couple of chapters-really, there's nothing of interest to report. Quite simply nothing of interest-at least horrendously badfic can keep you reading because there's something *happening*.
It's just...boring. I'm over two hundred pages in, and nothing of interest has happened yet. (In the meantime, I'm reading books for English class that get through a well-written, meaningful plot and good characterization in a hundred pages.) I'd DEFINITELY rather be reading fanfiction!
I've read the first two, so I have a certain morbid curiousity about whether he can make this one even worse. But then again, that would involve parting with money for the thing - and 20 ish dollars is too much to pay for something that will probably end its life as a coaster!
I do have one friend - an intelligent person in virtually all other respects - who actually likes CP, so maybe I'll borrow it from her.
Elcalion
...because I'm probably going to stay as far away from it as possible. Did he really put the Doctor in there? Or rip off of Doctor Who in any way?
I've heard that one of the last lines, or something, was along the lines of "The Doctor could travel to any time, or alternate reality" or something like that.
Just when we thought he could sink no lower, eh?
he mentions that he's thrown in a reference to Doctor Who - something about a lonely god, I believe. I read that the first time, but when I read he'd mentioned he's put it in, I couldn't find it. XP
I'm flicking through my sister's copy trying to find it, but I've had no luck so far.
My brother told me that he'd just put down the book as soon as there was confirmation of it and condemn the entire series. HAH! IT'S BEEN PROVEN! I HAVE CONVERTED ANOTHER TO THE CAUSE!
But couldn't find the stomach to continue. Even the slightest mention of this book sends me into an apoplectic rage (well, at least a very long rant).
As I do to read SMeyer's Sparkly Vampire series. A friend of mine read Eragon, and when it was mentioned at dinner and I said the parts I had read and what I had heard made it sound like an obvious Star Wars-meets-LotR rip-off, he nodded his head and agreed rather emphatically.
And to think he can churn out this dreck and I still can't work out where to go with my two epic novels I'm working on - one an expansive noir novel and the other The Adventures of Heist the Porcupine.
And that was enough. After I finished, I literally threw it at my wall in disgust. And the movie wasn't any better. I agree with the comment someone made; that it's simply Star Wars retold via Lord of the Rings, with a bit of Dragonriders of Pern thrown in.
The reason publishers publish it is because it does appeal to the masses, unfortunately. Since a lot of us are widely-read, and have the ability to critically analyze a book by looking at it, that's why you'll hardly find a good word about it around here. It's a generic fantasy novel with elements of others, thus making it easy to read, and even easier to create your mental images of what's happening in there. In a lot of cases, people won't even realise that the plot is essentially Star Wars, since it has dragons and it's in a fantasy setting, as opposed to the Sci-Fi genre of Star Wars.
What really irks me is that all these people are praising him because of the age he was when he released the books. 'Oh he's so talented, and so young!'. Too bad they're mistaking talent for determination.
Ok, that's the end of Artic's rant, brought to you by the letters W,T and F.
And to make it worse, a person I think is a Goodfic writer likes the books. Said Goodfic writer is Kenya Starflight, who wrote not just some of the best Star Wars fic that i've read, but also the Calvin and Hobbes fic 'Reminiscence'(link here:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2048837/1/Reminiscence).
How could she degrade herself this way?
PS: Please reply! Yes, I do need the attention.
Just the ability to find what's truly good in the story. I was rather impressed that he was capable of finishing a book before being an adult, and he has made an excellent world, it's just that he focuses more on taking elements from other stories than creating ones of his own in his own, original work. The story of Star Wars, while probably the most famous example, follows a writing blueprint, which I can't remember the name of, that most stories follow in one way or another. The reason I support Star Wars as opposed to Eragon is the lack of any truly original elements in his story. Eragon is essentially a Character Insert, CP has admitted it himself, but if I ever met such a person, I'd probably deck him.
A lot of my friends enjoy Eragon. And a lot of excellent authors would too, because it's a familiar story being retold. A lot of us a pickier though, preferring to want something new in a story, rather than reread old stuff in a new format. The reason Kenya Starflight likes Eragon is because the storyline so closely parallels Star Wars. SHe is an excellent writer, I can tell just from reading that one story, but I'm not gonna hold it against her for liking the story, just because I don't. Everyone has a right to their own opinions. I just don't happen to agree with this one because CP offends me as a writer in the way that he has crappy character development, cannot seem to make original fiction, has a generic location, etc.
...Ursula K. Le Guin. I know, I checked. Her 'Earthsea' series is on my future reading list, you know.
Public property, or whatever it is. Can't remember the term, but Wizards of Earthsea has been out for a while. If they are open to the public domain, he could technically do it...
According to Wikipedia, copyright doesn't expire unless:
* The work was created and first published before January 1, 1923, or at least 95 years before January 1 of the current year, whichever is later; or
* The last surviving author died at least 70 years before January 1 of the current year
As Ursula K. Le Guin is still alive and the A Wizard of Earthsea was published in 1968, neither of these conditions have been fulfilled.
Public domain on Wikipedia
Much older. They were published in 1968, and Australian copyright lasts for 50 years, unless special extensions are made. 50 years after the death of the author, that is.
In which case, this just adds another bad point to the crime. Unless he gained permission from Le Guin herself, he could eaisly be sued for it. Chances are that no-one else has made the connection, or Le Guin refuses to read the books.
Now that gives me a humerous mental picture of all the best Fantasy Authors sitting in a circle, discussing this and that. They look at the cover of 'Eragon', and decide to throw it in the fire. They all have British accents for some reason, though not all of them are British.
Can I please have it, if you're not going to use it anytime soon?
Tolkien: "Want some tea, miss Rowling?"
Rowling: "Why, thank you! I must say, it's very nice meeting the father of fantasy in a cafe like this..."
Eddings: "Hey, what do you excpect from fanfic? By the way, have you looked at that new fantasy book, Eragon?"
Rowling: "No, but I can get it." *snatches book from hammerspace*
Ursula K. Le Guin: "You really shoudn't do that, you know. You may get sick!" *leafs through the book.*
Ursula K. Le Guin:"Ahhhhhhhh!"
Rowling: "What's the problem?"
Ursula K. Le Guin: "The not being able to lie, the true name thing, the fact that the words have power...This is my invention! How dare he germanize it!'
Rowling: "Really?"
Tolkien: "Burn the thing! Only the flames of Arien will do!"
Eddings: "What about the nearby fireplace?"
Rowling: "Fine by me."
Well, that's gonna amuse me for the rest of the day. Only downfall was that they were English English. You know, high class?"
"Care for some tea, Miss Rowling?"
"Why thank you! I must say, it's jolly good meeting the chap who made fantasy what it is!"
I picture them with really, really heavy British lingo. You know, so heavy it's satirical?
But it was very good Wiki. Like I said, amusement for te rest of the day!
I mean, I can do southern, but who can't? And before you ask, yes, I'm resisting the urge to write more.
Ugh. Don't get me started on Brisingr. I'm over 200 pages in, and absolutely NOTHING of importance has happened yet. I'm starting to think that it might just be another brick of filler material until Eragon finally kills off Galbwhatever in Book 4.
Mild spoilers below in the event anyone cares...
Paolini seems to have picked up on a few teenage trends, as there's a cutting scene and a furry. Well, okay, the cutting scene is a "test of strength" over who gets to lead the rebels, but it reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of the emo!Sue cutting her wrists in badfic... And the furry is an Elf guy who decided to take on the form of a wolf, or something to that effect. Apparently he gives off a scent that makes all the women in the vicinity want to mate with him. >.
And yeah, emo!Eragon. Good Lord. One minute he's angsting over how many people he's killed, then he mercilessly kills a soldier who's begging to be spared, then he angsts over that, then he kills some more people... Ugh. I'm rather pacifistic, so I'm in pain at those parts... >.
[/rant]
Good to be back on the Board, though. I need to remember to show up here more often... XD
Paolini really did rip off other fandoms. >.
I read Eragon, but I couldn't get through Eldest. It was too...boring. I'd rather read fanfic any day!
And I heard that in Brisingr, if that's the proper spelling (can't have minis popping up!), Eragon goes all emo because he got some wierd Gary Stuish mass-murder power. Go figure. *eyeroll*
I'll never understand this.
I only saw the movie, and that was after hearing all the criticism around here, and I spent the entire time MSTing it. The books - won't touch 'em, and relieved to say so.
*whacks Morbid Curiosity yet again* DOWN, boy!
The scenary they were using reminded me of 'The Sound of Music'. I half expected Julie Andrews to wander out, singing 'The Hills Are Alive' while Saphira and Eragon look at her with the WTF-Look on their faces.
Cos I haven't read any of them, but now that I've heard so much about how awful they are, I'm actually dying to, just to see 'How Bad Can It Be?'
Problem is, the local library's copies are all out all the time, and I'm damned if I'm *buying* the things.
If you still haven't read it by the time I've finished with it (which will likely be very early in the New Year), I'll see if I can mail it to you. 'Kay?
That would be awesome. Thanks!
That is, if I have the money to send it to you. How much would a small parcel from England to New Zealand cost, d'you think?
But I'm going to be sending a parcel to the UK at some point soonish, so I'll let you know how much it costs me... I can also help with postage payment :)
*lets go of Ansela*
PM me on LJ when you find out? You know what my name there is, don't you?
... but from what I've heard, it's really bad. Someone was comparing it to "The Eye of Argon" and had excerpts from both. My first thought when I read one of them was "Wait, I don't remember reading this part in 'The Eye of'--oh, Glaurung, no!"
Also, someone needs to tell CP that "humping" may mean what he thinks it does, but it has some ... other meanings, too.
but as I know that it's been bought for one of my Christmas presents (shouldn't know, but came home earlier than was expected and saw it as I was helping unload the car), I'll get to read it then.
If anyone hears an apoplectic scream from the direction of England on Christmas Day, that'll be me cracking open the book.