-I will not kidnap Rikku (FFX/X-2) and drop her in FFVII, especially right next to Yuffie. Nor is the reverse acceptable.
--Nor will I point the two at someone extremely rich and hint that he/she might have treasure/materia.
--Nor will I bring the two to HQ and hint that someone I particularly dislike might have treasure/materia.
--If they have already met via crossover, I will attempt to mitigate the damage, not add fuel to the fire by dragging in any of the following: Norma Beatty(Tales of Legendia), Anise Tatlin(Tales of the Abyss)... or any other canons who are even vaguely obsessed with unclaimed properties of a valuable nature. Captain Jack Sparrow is right out.

-I will not steal a necromancer's bells and attempt to use one of them for an exorcism.
--Especially not Astarael. Killing everyone in hearing range is not funny.
--Also not Kibeth. The Walker has a sense of humour.
--No. Just no.

-I will refrain from making bad puns regarding Jewels within earshot of anyone from the Black Jewels Trilogy and related works. They are not likely to be appreciated, by the canons or my partner.

-Captain Jack Sparrow does not need to know about the Legacy(ToL), no matter how funny I think the resulting bit of attempted piracy might be.

-I will not steal the weapons of any video game hero; they are likely to need them. Soon.
--Even if I am a raging kleptomaniac.

1. I will not introduce Sylar to the Master.
   --Or the Joker
   --Or Stewie Griffin
   --Or any other homicidal psychotic bent on world domination
   
   814. I will not claim Ianto Jones is Alfred Pennyworth's long lost son.
   --Even if it makes sense.

1. I will not mention cross-pollination around any of the Flowers.
   810. I will not allow King Leonidas and Davy Crockett to meet.
   811. I will not allow Zorro and Robin Hood to meet.
   -Even though that would be so many degrees of awesomeness.
   812. I will not tell anyone that they are the Banana King.
   -Nor will I tell them to put a banana in their ear.
   -Nor will I force them to go on a journey to "Candy Mountain".
   -In fact, Charlie the Unicorn reenactments of any sort are strictly forbidden.
   

On encountering any vampire, banshee, werewolf or undead agent I will not scream, "Back un-holy beast of the night!" at them.

-Nor will I atempt to ward them off with garlic, crucifixes, mirrors, pigs etc.

1. I will not tell the Doctor to "get over it, you've killed lots of women."
   --Or Angel.
   --Or any semi-imortal canon with a penchant for killing people.
   --Seriously, they have a reason to angst.
   
   807. I will not introduce Ned from Pushing Daisies to George from Dead Like Me.
   --Or Rube.
   --Or Mason.
   --Or any Grim Reaper.
   --Even if I want to find out what happens when he touches them.

• Or to Tattoine
  - Or Mount Doom
  - Or to any other desert/volcano canon location
  - Even if I am doing research on how to melt his bankai

1. I will not introduce Dr. Horrible to Lex Luthor.
   -Or any other supervillain.
   -Or any other superhero, for that matter.
   797. Bad Horse is not a Cute Animal Friend.
   798. The Freeze Ray song is not to be sung in DoSAT.
   -Or the laundry room.
   [Do we have a laundry room? There must be one somewhere, right?]
   799. I will not introduce Rorshach to the Question.

meet Lessa and Ramoth
- Or F'lar and Mnementh
- Or any other Pernese dragonrider pair.
795. I will not feed Sues to Pernese dragons.
- Listen, we don't need Suvian dragons
- Pernese dragons don't eat humans anyway
- Feeding Sues to fire lizards is also forbidden

1. The same goes for Lord Denethor and Lord Vetinari.
   773a. They probably keep in touch anyway.
   773b. Addendum: none of the following are to meet either:
   - Iron Man and/or Iron Monger and any Transformer.
   - General Grievous and the Daleks.
   - Cthulhu and the Ood.
   - The cast of Avatar The Last Airbender and the Planeteers.
   774. Galadriel is not Cersei Lannister.
   774a. Nor is she comparable to River Tam.
   774b. Although she can kill you with her brain.
   775. I am not allowed to lock Finrod Felagund and Remus Lupin in a room on the night of the full moon to see what happens.
   776. I am not allowed to portal Buffy the Vampire Slayer into the Twilight series.
   777. The same goes for the Winchester brothers.
   778. Just because I've seen the abridged series of a show doesn't mean that I know the canon and am able to go out on missions for that fandom.
   778a. No, reading the TvTropes page for it isn't enough either.
   779. I am not allowed to set up statues around HQ and broadcast a warning about a group of Stone Angels infiltrating the PPC.
   

1. I will not portal Lux into the Hub.
   - Not even if Lux asks me to
   - Not even if I think Jack would appreciate her
   - Not even if it's the only way to get her away from me
   766. I will not insinuate that Inuzuka Kiba and Akamaru are partners in that manner
   - Especially not within their hearing range
   - If I do I will not complain about my injuries later
   
   768. I will not allow Kurotsuchi Mayuri to meet Michael from Stargate Atlantis
   - Nor will I allow Szayel Apollo Grantz to meet Michael
   - Introducing them to each other outside of battle is right out
   
   769. The Shinigami from Bleach are not the same as the Shinigami from Death Note, and I should stop insinuating this
   - If I do so in hearing range of any Shinigami Agents (of either sort) then I shouldn't be surprised at the resulting injuries
   
   770. I will not refer to Kuchiki Byakuya's kenseikan as 'hair noodles' to his face ever again.
   - Senbonzakura hurts. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi hurts even more.
   - Agent Cerrin will also show her displeasure, in the form of her pyromaniacal boyfriend.
   
   771. I will not refer to Edward Elric as short (or any variation thereof) within his hearing range
   - Even if the resulting temper tantrum is funny
   - The same goes for Agent Trip; his fireballs hurt and rarely miss

1. I will not recruit more than one replica of a canonical character.
   -And preferably not replicas of canonicals who look extraordinarily alike.
   -Especially not until canon sorts that mess out.
   757. I may not clone characters myself.
   -Not even for stress relief. There will always be Sues to take it out on.
   758. I may not injure canonicals I find particularly aggravating.
   -Even if the injuries wouldn't show or be noticed.
   -Even if the injuries can be healed after.
   -Even if I neuralyse them afterwards.
   -I may, however, dress up a Sue like that character and punch her in the face.

731) Yelling 'Thunderbirds Are Go' every time you launch a space ship was funny the first 15,325 times.

732) I will not ask Professors Oak, Elm, Birch or Rowan how their Pokeballs are.
-Or Ash Ketchum.
-Or Gary Oak.
-Or anyone from the Pokemon World.

733) I will not allow Agent Arti to access a TF-Gun, even if the photos would be great for blackmail.
-Particularly if they would be good for blackmail.

734) I also will not allow Agent Arti anywhere near the choir. This is for the safety of everyone.

735) I will not portal to Paragon City if I believe I look good in superhero tights.
-Or the Marvel Universe.
-Or the DC Universe.

736)I will not portal to the Universe of 'Celebrity Deathmatch' just to arrange the deaths of my most hated celebrities or characters, even if it would be canon.

737) I will not go anywhere near DoGA if I use a lot of hair gel and / or come from a Final Fantasy Universe.
-Nor will I direct anyone wearing hear gel to DoGA.

738) I will not mention the name 'Robecca' in earshot of Aslan. If I do, I will only blame myself for the consequences.

739) I will never call a 'Digimon' a 'daemon'.
-Or vice-versa.

740) I will not portal another Agent into the middle of a Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Link's Triforce Slash [i]hurts[/i].

741) I will not tell Tidus from Final Fantasy X that he is such a dream.
-Just because it's true doesn't mean he'll take it well.

742) Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin must never meet.
-Even if the ensuing hilarity would be unlike anything the world has ever seen.

743) Just because I dreamt of fighting the Battle of Helm's Deep with a machine gun, does not make it canon.

744) I will not answer any Sue's insult with 'Yo momma' or 'Yo face'. This will often enrage them.
-Particularly Abused!Sues.

745) Wearing Airgears will not allow me to get places faster in HQ.

746) The 'Power of Three' won't set me free of the Sues, no matter how many times I repeat it.

747) I will never pit an army of Mary-Sues against the hordes of Heartless in Hollow Bastion. Though the results would be amusing, we do not need Sueified Heartless taking the hearts of PPC AGents just by thinking about them.

748) I will never put another Agent's name on the Death Note.
-Even if we can resurrect them.
-Even if the way they die would be hilarious.

749) I can not steal the Keyblade from Sora. My heart is not pure enough, nor am is it powerful enough to do so.

750) I will not burst into singing 'Stick to the Status Quo' when in the HQ Cafeteria.

751) Nor will I sing 'I Don't Dance' in response to 'Stick to the Status Quo'.

752) Actually, there will be no random songs inside of HQ other than in specially designated areas.
-Abusing the Specially Designated Areas may result in a conductor's baton being shoved up your nose.

753) I will not require a dance-off to settle disputes with other Agents. This may give the minis ideas, and we do not need holes burnt through the floors from the mini-Balrogs break-dancing.

754) Happy thoughts alone will not make me fly.
-I will also stop telling the New Recruits this.

755) Tinkerbell has enough issues already. I will not add more by kidnapping her so that I can fly.

(apologies if something similar has already been done; I've read the List before, but I can't remember all the details)

#. I will not portal into a Potter fic set in book six or early book seven to rescue Remus and Tonks
- No, not even for sake of little Teddy

#. I will not debate the qualifications for being a "star" within earshot of Yvaine.
- If I do, the resulting incineration is entirely my own fault
- even if I WAS innocently referring to celebrities

#. I will not kill Eragon
- or Sapphira
- or Arya
- or Paolini

#. I will not call Worf "Mr Woof" and expect to live
- only Lwaxana gets away with that
- same applies for "Will Scarlet"

#. I will not pretend to have missed rule #_[Trojie's] and give Edmund Peter's crown
- no, not even if the gold-versus-silver thing is blatently unfair
- we all know silver's better anyway

#. I will not annoy Lucy. Her aim with that dagger is too good... and SHE'S the one holding the cordial

1. I will not go on missions 'skyclad'
   - Or 'naked, like the celts'.
   -No, not even if the console beeped while I was in the shower
   -Walking around HQ like that is similarly discouraged
   -I only have myself to blame if Lux misinterprets it
   729. I will not take Napalm into Mirkwood
   -Or Mossflower
   -Or Lothlorien
   -Or any canonical wood or forest.
   730. I will not switch a Pernese dragon with a Hungarian Hornback
   -Not even if I think Lessa can handle it
   -Not even if I think Harry deserves something a bit easier during the first task
   -I can, however, switch a Sue's dragon for a Hornback

1. I cannot, and will not try to, simply rock into Mordor.
   715. I will not teleport an army of zerglings into Middle-Earth and zerg rush the Black Gate.
   - I will also not zerg rush the Citadel in City 17.
   - Or any of the Horcruxes.
   - Or Klatch.
   - Or any prominent building, land or object in any
   continuum outside of the Starcraft universe.
   716. I will not introduce Wall.E to Johnny 5.
   717. I will not teleport Goku into the Heroesverse, or Peter Petrelli into the Dragonballverse.
   718. I will not teleport Star Wolf into the PPC.
   - Not even at the request of a Flower.
   - The PPC can't let you do that, Agents.
   719. I will not make reference to Sharpteeth around the PPC Nursery.
   720. I will not attempt to kill off Mutt Williams if I enter an Indiana Jones 4 fic.
   - Nor will I try to kill Anakin Skywalker if I enter
   a Star Wars prequels fic.
   - No matter how much I want to send a message to
   George Lucas that his meddling kids are not
   appreciated.

I am a PPC Agent, not River Tam. My combat skills therefore DO have limits, and I DO need to practice to acquire skill with an unfamiliar weapon.
- However, just because she has incredible innate combat skills does not mean River Tam is a Sue.
- If she finds out you've been insinuating that she's a Sue, she'll take you to the forking cleaners, mate.

I may not kill Peter Pevensie and install Edmund as High King instead.
- No, not even if Edmund is the more sensible of the two and would therefore be a more suitable king.
- Peter isn't a Stu, honestly.
- I know he's irritating, but still.

On that note, I am not allowed to rip movieverse!Susan away from movieverse!Caspian at the end of 'Prince Caspian'
- Movieverse technically is a legitimate canon, okay?
- And the fact that her name is Susan does not make her a Sue.
-Ripping Susan away from Caspian and substituting Peter or Edmund, while tempting, is not allowed either.
- While we're at it, ripping Susan away from Caspian and substituting yourself is RIGHT OUT.


I am not allowed to take an MP3 player into fics in order to play 'Smack My Bitch Up' when I assassinate Sues
- Ditto 'Battle Without Honour or Humanity'
- Ditto 'Back in Black'
- I am not allowed to play any song when assassinating Sues. That's only one teeny step from having a theme-tune.

I am not allowed to hit Agent July in the head
- She gets concussed enough as it is by herself, she doesn't need help.
- If I have reason to need to stop her from doing something, I should hit her somewhere else instead.

I am not allowed to mention the Kraken from POTC in the hearing of Agent Trojie if I value my own ignorance of invertebrate anatomy.

I am not allowed to pit Jadis the White Witch against the Witch-King of Angmar.
- Not even if I think it would be a bitchin' fight scene.

Building Maintenance do not go armed and are not generally proficient with weaponry in any case. This does not mean I can irritate them at will, as they are EXTREMELY proficient with electricty and explosives and can collapse my RC on me if I piss them off.

1. I will not lock Agent Stormsong in a small room with Agent Ansela and her bagpipes.
   
   702. I will not lock Agent Risa in a room filled with reptiles.
   -If I do I will take full responsibility for the resultant injuries
   
   703. Kira Izura from Bleach is not Kira from Death Note. Therefore I will refrain from tying him up and dumping him in L's room with a note saying 'I am Kira'.
   - Tying Kira up and kidnapping him for other reasons is also out.
   
   704. Setsuna F. Seiei is not Yagami Light, therefore I should stop asking him to use his Death Note to kill Sues with.
   
   705. Sentient Gundams do not belong in HQ. Especially not if they are Stus.