I've got ideas in place to have a Zoroark as an agent. Could be quite interesting if the three met.

By the way, would it come from the anime, manga or games?

I just read a fic where Ilraen prefers to use the disguise generator rather than his natural abilities. The mission with Orken.

I just found a mission that suggests that the disguise generators have very fine controls. Basically the canon allowed for the powers to exist, so she retained her powers. http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Tera mission 3.

Then again, we recently had a poll that included how disguises work. Was there a consensus that they only work in one way, or could it depend on the agent?

Right. Fawkes. First off, let's look at that name.

'Fawkes' is, obviously, the phoenix from Harry Potter. It's also the name of a former PPC Boarder, and is a canonical nickname for her agent, Chelsea 'Fawkes' Miller. Since I've adopted the character, I'm rather protective of her identity; that said, agents with identical names aren't exactly forbidden.

On the other hand, how did he come down with the name 'Fawkes'? That's a fandom name, and your backstory for him says he was never captured - ie, you can't even postulate a HP-fanatic trainer giving him the name (if HP even exists in Pokemon, which I've never seen any hint of). He was intercepted by Rasheeda, who also presumably has no fandom links... and anyone else in HQ would probably name him anything other than a canon character's name, since they're, uh, PPCers.

So... where did his name come from? My impression has always been that Pokemon don't have personal names unless they're captured and nicknamed. Even then, characters like Pikachu and Meowth stick with their species names, quite happily. I can certainly see him taking or being given a name in HQ - but I can't really see it being a Harry Potter reference. If he was mostly associating with Rasheeda at that time, which you seem to suggest, he might even have an Arabic or Egyptian name.

And... where does 'of Silver' come from? That seems to be just a random addition. The 'of' formation suggests 'Silver' is a person or a place... did he live at Mount Silver in Johto? But Skarmory don't seem to be native to Mt. Silver...

Anyway, enough on the name. Moving on to appearance. Again, the description is fairly clear; I have no problem with the idea that his feathers are shinier than other Skarmorys' - Pokemon can vary in appearance just like anything else.

His human form, though... like I said with Rasheeda, a disguise is meant to disguise. He can look Indonesian - if he's in a canon where Indonesian-appearing humans are around. He can have metallic hair - if he's in a canon where metallic hair exists. I'm having a very hard time imagining a situation where he could have sword-wings and still consider it a disguise.

Remember, disguises have nothing to do with the person involved - in theory, they can turn anyone into anything. Human agents will often just disguise their clothes, or otherwise make minimal changes - but there's no reason for Fawkes to limit himself so. It's not like he has a native human form!

Linked to this, but something you haven't explicitly mention: speech. As far as I'm aware, almost all Pokemon have single-word vocabularies. They can vary their intonation and 'sentences', but they're limited to, well, their own name.

And I think that would be really cool to read. Think about it! Your character is a bird made out of swords, who is prone to making witty comments - only he makes them in the form of 'Skar? Skarmor, mory.' And Rasheeda tried to translate the sense, while being utterly unable to understand the words.

Obviously, when in disguise, he can speak English - which could be a continuation of the storyline. Picture Rasheeda getting more and more irritated by what she can tell are snide remarks in Skarmory-speak until, the instant they step through the portal, she whirls around and pins him against the wall, forearm to his now-human neck. "You are going to tell me exactly what you were saying back there," she growls, "and you are going to do it right now."

Moving on to what you actually wrote about... powers. The moveset looks fine, though I'm not sure why you've gone for Whirlwind rather than something more Skarmory-y like Steel Wing. I like the description of Roost drawing up metal ions - is that a canon explanation, or your own? It does invite the question of what he'd do in a low-metal environment. It also makes me wonder if he can 'upgrade' his armour by, say, sitting on top of a titanium deposit... maybe that explains his shiny wings? If he lived somewhere with a high silver level, he could have absorbed it and ended up recoloured. I can see him getting a bit vain about that, and going hunting for silver every time an emergency Roost puts his feathers off-colour...

The rest of the 'powers' description looks pretty good, too. Essentially, a realistic(ish) description of a Skarmory in battle. I like the Leftovers - that's a very PPCvian touch.

That said, remember disguises: unless he's actually in Pokemon universe, he probably won't be a Skarmory. Which is a shame, but that's how it works. So except for the Leftovers, the rest of this is fairly limited in scope.

History: looks good to me. I like the 'explanation' for the plothole he fell through, and the fact that he really is pretty much a background character. Also, I'm picturing a Skarmy now and it. is. adorable.

Slight glitch - you say 'took him to the infirmary'. That's the Medical Department; it has a name. You also say 'took him under her wing' (ha ha, reverse pun), and later 'the reason she hasn't kicked him out of their RC'... are you implying that he hasn't actually been recruited and assigned as an agent? Because I don't think the Marquis de Sod or the Lichen would be too pleased by that...

Personality: I really like the tying of his personality to his Nature. Good call. It seems to mostly work, too, and I agree with Rasheeda - if it weren't for that confounded armour, I'd probably hit him, too. But overall, I think he could make an interesting character in a high-conflict partnership with Rasheeda.

And then there's the 'lascivious' aspect. Um. Let's make a little list:

-You describe him ogling what you imply to be almost everyone, including two Lust Objects who I'm pretty sure are underage. That's kind of skeevy.
-You suggest that... okay, you suggest something about what he'll do in a human disguise, and honestly, I'm having a hard time not reading it as 'he is prone to raping canon characters'. Since I... really hope that's not what you're going for, care to clarify?
-You list four 'obvious' exceptions to your final sentence, with the remark 'Those are just wrong, man'. I don't know or want to know what the terms in question mean, but describing something as 'just wrong' when what you mean is 'I don't like it' is usually a bad idea, and prone to offending people who disagree with you. I'm about halfway sure the 'just wrong' remark was in Fawkes' voice, which is a different matter (since characters aren't aware that they're being publically watched, they express their opinions differently to real people), but not all the way certain, so just... be careful.

Okay, I didn't say as much about 'Fawkes' (still vaguely hoping you'll change the name, here) as I did about Rasheeda - but I think he's a really interesting concept. And I think the combination of hair-trigger psionic weapon with carefree living sword-tank could be a fascinating high-conflict partnership to read about.

hS

I found an awesome image of Skarmory on dA, and I think this is pretty close to what Fawkes would look like in a realistic Pokémon setting. He'd probably be more like the anime version most of the time, though.


http://renecampbellart.deviantart.com/art/Realistic-Pokemon-Skarmory-465346642
Source by ReneCampbellArt on deviantART

And here's what he'd look like in human disguise (if applicable, the wings would be attached to his arms):

I found an awesome image of Skarmory on dA, and I think this is pretty close to what Fawkes would look like in a realistic Pokémon setting. He'd probably be more like the anime version most of the time, though.


http://renecampbellart.deviantart.com/art/Realistic-Pokemon-Skarmory-465346642
Source by ReneCampbellArt on deviantART

And here's what he'd look like in human disguise (if applicable, the wings would be attached to his arms):

Two warnings before I start. First, I'm working through this in order, not drawing syntheses or anything, so it may be a bit patchwork. Second, as a Permission Giver, I tend not to make Permission decisions on agents I've discussed at length - so please don't read this as 'this is how you can make sure you get Permission'. Different PGs have different views on things. In other words: this is just me, not my hat.

So: Rasheeda bint Giza. She reminds me somewhat of the Sphinx from Subnormality, which is not a bad thing. ;) Your description is fairly clear, and not objectionable, but:

therefore not unique enough to be considered speshul

This represents what I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of how to create a good character. Having unusual or even unique traits does not make a character 'speshul'; it's what you do with them that does that. Practically every fantasy protagonist ever written has something unique about them, whether they're the secret heir to a throne (hi, Garion!), can hear all dragons (nice to see you, Lessa!), or are just ridiculously lucky enough to run across a magic Ring (hey, there, Bilbo!). The fact that Rasheeda is albino means, de facto, it is biologically or magically possible in her continuum; you can't really argue against that, since she empirically proves it. But even if she was the first one in a thousand years, that wouldn't make her 'speshul'.

Now, if she was an albino, and therefore was wiser than all other Sphinxes, and everyone came to her for advice (because she was albino) but the evil Carthaginians tried to kill her (because she was albino) so she used her albino-powers to albinate them into Albania...

Traits are like characters: when they slot into the story, and are affected by its logic, they are fine. It's when they twist the story around themselves that they become Suvian.

Hey, I quite like that. Never looked at it in quite that way before... ahem. Moving on.

Her humanoid form: I hope you don't use this too much! I assume she has it because of her own story, but honestly, it's far more interesting to have non-human agents who stay non-human.

Some aspects of your bios seem to indicate you don't know about PPC disguises, so a brief rundown: when on a mission, agents are disguised by magi-technological means as something that will fit into the canon. A Sphinx can be disguised as a human - or as an Ent - or as a Hooloovoo if you desperately want. They don't need to have/use 'humanoid forms' from their own abilities - PPC tech has that covered.

And Rasheeda's humanoid form wouldn't work as a pseudo-disguise anyway. If (say) Legolas sees an albino girl with cat ears and a tail, he is not going to think she fits in. So even her humanoid form would need to be disguised (further).

Side note: SeaTurtle has claimed that disguises alter agents on a molecular level, negating any innate powers they might have. I'm dubious about that - we've definitely had agents retain their abilities while on missions. I'd personally say that any abilities that stem from your mind should be unaffected - we don't give them personality transplants. But things that stem from your body are going to be inaccessible when you're, uh, in a different body.

Moving on... you make a bizarre statement that Rasheeda has her 'cleavage being completely covered for moral reasons'. Er... she's a two-thousand-year-old Egyptian. I don't think they had that taboo. You'd be right that it's fairly ubiquitous in modern Arabic culture - but I'm not at all certain it existed two and a half thousand years ago.

Powers: she's terrifying. Really, she is. But you seem to change tack mid-paragraph: you start out by claiming she 'usually' kills things by crushing their windpipes (yikes!), but then claim she relies 'primarily' on ranged attacks. Er... which is it? Are her psionic projections weak enough that they can't actually kill anyone, necessitating her 'closing for the kill'?

Regardless, SeaTurtle is right on this score - all her physical attributes will be negated by disguises, as will things like 'generating mystical gusts with her wings' - because she won't have wings.

While mental powers are all very well, the standard rule in the PPC is that Sues - wait, why are you even talking about Sues? She's in Implausible Crossovers, right? So her job is to untangle crossed-over universes. Her powers have zero impact on that job. Huh.

Um, anyway. Sues have to be killed with weapons suited to the canon. In Middle-earth, you use bows or swords. In Star Wars, you use blasters or lightsabers. Where would you use incredible psychic powers? Quite a few places, probably - but mostly, not.

the same crude mental constructs as her Sphinx form albeit on a human scale and with a timespan of up to a minute, which she has to make do with on most missions to avoid becoming too overpowered.

I have no idea what you mean by this. There's something about her powers that would injure her in some way if she overused them? Or are you just saying, 'if she uses them too much, she'll be an overpowered character'? Because that's... well, pretty much the worst way of dealing with it. If you think she's overpowered, either tone her down, impose actual rules on her (many ex-Sues are forbidden from using their powers on missions), or create genuine limits. Don't just... say she 'has to make do'.

(Also, the humanoid form thing goes back to disguises again - if she's in disguise, her powers shouldn't increase to compensate - they should stay the same as in her 'natural' body.)

You describe a full Pokemon 'form' for her, but basically, that's a disguise. You can adopt a different disguise every mission - she certainly doesn't need a dedicated form. And if she was in a story where Meowstic wouldn't be found, she'll have to adopt a different one. (Plus, imagine the hilarity when she has to go in as a Growlithe - 'Ugh. I smell of dog.' "You are a-" 'Don't. Remind. Me.')

History: So, she was afraid of becoming a Mary-Sue, so joined the PPC? I can see that. I guess that might be what you meant by 'to avoid becoming too overpowered', and the idea of a character who is ludicrously powerful, but consciously fights it... I can see that. Reminds me a bit of Harry Dresden's experiences with the Mantle of Winter - it wants him to turn into a hulking powerhouse of magical rage and lust, so he spends all his time fighting it back. (And isn't that basically what he went through with Lasciel, too...?) You could equally equate it with Boromir's desire for the Ring - he has this intense internal struggle, which we never see until it breaks through.

Personality: Yep, definitely a relative of Subnormality's Sphinx. I'm not sure why you say 'at first glance', since it seems like 'stoic', at least, is absolutely her baseline personality. It's just that her Sphinxian Overpoweredness keeps trying to break through.

I'm guessing the reason she's in the DIC, rather than the DMS where she would actually get to take on Sues and Stus, is that she used to get too angry in assassination missions? This would continue the character arc I'm seeing in her: fear of becoming overpowered leads into fear of using her powers at all, which leads to a) absenting herself from sitations where she'd feel the urge to, and b) bottling everything up until it explodes.

I do agree that throwing PPC agents around the room like ragdolls is a bad thing to have in there (not to mention that many agents are very dangerous people - what makes you think she'd survive doing that?). If I may make a suggestion: have that be a thing that happened once. More specifically, I imagine her timeline going like this:

-Joins the PPC as an Assassin, hunting down Sues.
-Regularly gets furious, throwing objects around with TK.
-Has a particularly bad breakdown and throws her partner around, badly injuring her and sending her to Medical.
-Spends some time in FicPsych for anger issues. This may be a good time to talk to Jenni Robinson, who also has vast, usually-hidden powers.
-Requests a transfer to a calmer department, the DIC.
-Spends her time trying to avoid all use of her powers.
-This Is Where The Story Begins.

Because there's nothing wrong with being ludicrously powerful - but having to keep that in check is where the story becomes interesting. You can have a powerful secondary character - Gandalf - but a 'powerful' protagonist needs to be limited in some way. They can be in training (Luke Skywalker), or they can be holding back - way back - like I'm suggesting/think you're suggesting for Rasheeda.

Enough words from me; I think I've written more about Rasheeda than you did! I'll take a look at Fawkes later (and will start with his name...)

hS

First point: more of a post formatting thing. This bio was a bit of a wall-'o-text and therefore hard to read, so don't forget to use that enter key to break it up into more manageable paragraphs.

Right, onto Rosetta herself. Considering most of the PPC's known agents are human, her species, shapeshifing abilities, and psionic powers place her among the most high-powered agents in HQ. There's nothing wrong with agents with Powers; PoorCynic had a workshop on this at one point. My main concern is that, as a DIC agent, she's likely going to be operating in continua which force her to disguise herself as something other than her normal body-- sphinx or otherwise. That also means that she won't be able to use any of her powers by virtue of the Disguise Generator transforming the agent on a molecular level.

In a situation like this, it's a bit perplexing to see an agent gifted with such extraordinary physique and psionics not being able to use them at all. In that case, wouldn't a regular human do the same job just fine? Perhaps she would better be off serving in a security department where her martial talents would better serve the cause.

I'm also iffy on the "tosses coworkers like rag dolls" part of the bio. Agents that repress anger and demonstrate it explosively usually catch the attention of FicPsych or the DIA-- whichever is needed.


That's all I got off the top of my head-- feel free to ask questions!

It looks like you're angling for an Arabic-sounding name. There are two problems with the current one: Rosseta is a European one and 'bin' means 'the son of', so if your Sphinx is female you want 'bint' (the daughter of), instead.

It's old, but it should be helpful. I may update her appearance in future drawings, including the outfit she wears on missions.

It's old, but it should be helpful. I may update her appearance in future drawings, including the outfit she wears on missions.