Subject: Nitpick
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-21 23:59:00 UTC
It looks like you're angling for an Arabic-sounding name. There are two problems with the current one: Rosseta is a European one and 'bin' means 'the son of', so if your Sphinx is female you want 'bint' (the daughter of), instead.
Since I'm apparently allowed to work on my agent bios and stuff from the get-go (though obviously I'll need to get known before sporking anything), I might as well. I'm bookmarking this for when I get to work this autumn since I have a conference to prepare for first.
This is where I'll be keeping my agent bios and badfic claims. Feedback is appreciated for anything I post here :)
...for Rina's next partner. You don't mind, do you? I don't what you to feel like I'm copying. {:-)
And like I said, I'm only toying with the idea, so nothing's solid yet.
I've got ideas in place to have a Zoroark as an agent. Could be quite interesting if the three met.
By the way, would it come from the anime, manga or games?
Just because I'm a huge fan of them. But like I said, nothing set in stone.
Ooh, it would be fun to have the three meet... :)
Pokémon agents would be more than welcome! It would be interesting to see how the mechanics of their continuum of origin work alongside those of the PPC.
Personally, though, I'd like to see more non-mammalian nonhuman agents running around. It would be hilarious and awesome if we got a Tyrantrum agent who will happily munch on Sues/Stus like popcorn but ends up having trouble trying to read the charge list with that big head and those tiny arms. XD
Your agents won't need an internal power to disguise themselves. But here is an agent that does have an ability to change shape. http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill
I just read a fic where Ilraen prefers to use the disguise generator rather than his natural abilities. The mission with Orken.
I just found a mission that suggests that the disguise generators have very fine controls. Basically the canon allowed for the powers to exist, so she retained her powers. http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Tera mission 3.
Then again, we recently had a poll that included how disguises work. Was there a consensus that they only work in one way, or could it depend on the agent?
Name: Fawkes of Silver
Species: Skarmory (a.k.a. Airmd, Armor Bird Pokémon, or simply Armorbird)
Home Continuum: Pokémon
Age: Roughly corresponds to 21 in human years.
Lust Object/s: Too many to count, but most notably Pit from Kid Icarus and Sora from Kingdom Hearts.
Appearance: Fawkes, like most Skarmory, is a silver-gray steel crane (not the construction implement, but the bird). He has a long neck with metallic blue plating, long legs with blue three-toed feet, and a triangular crest on his head like a cassowary. The razor-sharp, hollow feathers on his wings have scarlet undersides, and his eyes are yellow with blue irises. One distinct feature is that Fawkes' armor is far more lustrous than most Skarmory, bearing greater similarity to polished silver than iron or steel.
Fawkes has to disguise himself as a human on most of his missions. In his human form, he is 5'8", 128 lbs, and of Asian (Indonesian) ethnicity. His skin is light tan with a yellow undertone, his eyes are dark brown and often require glasses to fix his vision (a necessary compromise for his sharper avian sight), and depending on the context his side-parted curtained hair is either the same metallic blue as his neck armor or otherwise black, though always with sharp specular gloss like polished metal. He's quite slim and lanky for his size, though if superpowers are acceptable, he will often have rather muscular arms with metallic bladed feathers (colored like Skarmory's wings) attached in the same manner as the flight feathers of a bird.
Powers: Fawkes' known moves are Spikes (he wasn't bred with Stealth Rock, alas), Whirlwind, Roost, and Brave Bird.
Like other Skarmory, Fawkes is covered in hard, metallic armor, allowing him to take a lot of damage in close combat. It's really hard to take him down when he steps forward or swoops in to defend an ally. His ability is Sturdy, which makes it impossible to take him out in a single blow, no matter how strong, though a powerful-enough first strike can weaken him to the point that he can still be two-hit-KO'd. Thankfully, his Roost move allows him to recover damage by regenerating his armor, though he has to land to draw the required metal ions from the soil through the undersides of his taloned feet. He is also vulnerable to energy-based attacks and is especially afraid of extreme heat, since metal armor, being more thermally conductive than skin, will not only melt in the presence of fire, but also trap and cook his insides in the process.
The bird can also heal through eating, which is a standard power for most video-game characters, and is as omnivorous as any human and most types of Pokémon with a tremendous appetite. His held item is Leftovers, which manifests as the fact that whenever he feels hungry or needs to heal, he ALWAYS manages to pull snacks out of his mission kit. Don't ask how he does it. Even Fawkes himself doesn't know the answer.
Offensively, his razor-sharp feathers, beak, and claws can slice through all but the toughest hide. He also hides sharp feathers beneath his wing sheathes (corresponding to the secondary feathers on a realistic bird wing), which he can fling like darts at opponents - per the Inverse Law of Sharpness and Accuracy, he almost always misses his target, but getting them to step on the Spikes scattered about is a whole different story.
Fawkes is also an excellent flyer, and can reach speeds of up to 180 mph outside of battle (though he has to fly a lot more slowly in a combat situation, since high-speed flight impairs his coordination). His agility in the air allows him to avoid most scene hazards, bypass ground-based obstacles, and dodge enemy fire, as well as attack opponents from above. Fawkes can also use his powerful wings to whip up Whirlwinds that can blow away all but the heaviest enemies, useful for crowd control especially if paired with Spikes. His strongest move, Brave Bird, causes his armor to glow blue with stored energy as he dives from the heavens like a bird of prey and slams into the opponent like a guided missile, slicing up foes with every sharp edge on his body.
History: Fawkes first appeared in the Pokémon universe in the late 2000's, being hatched as a Skarmy (a fan-created pre-evolved form for Skarmory itself), and spending his time learning to fly and battle like other members of his kind usually do. He was never involved in any major events, undertakings, or epic storylines, though he did encounter a number of trainers during his time without being captured. He arrived in the PPC in mid-2014, when a retrospective review of his life led him to realize that Skarmory doesn't actually evolve to or from any other Pokémon as of yet in the official canon, upon which he realized that he was a fan-created self-insert. The resultant "puff of logic" led to the creation of a Plot Hole right in his flight path. The bird flew straight into it, ended up in the HQ, and was promptly taken down by a very displeased Sphinx. She reluctantly took him to the infirmiary for recovery and later took him under her wing - a decision which Rose has regretted since then.
Personality: The first thing one needs to know about Fawkes is that his nature is Impish. This armored bird is enthusiastic and fun-loving, but is noted for by his lack of initiative and penchant for mischief, since he has always lived alone and has never really learned responsibility for others. Most of the time during missions, he opts to hang back and make comments he thinks are witty, funny, or otherwise light-hearted. This earns him the ire of Rose who tends to regard him as a rare annoyance and she would probably be all too happy to beat him senseless if he weren't protected by razor-edged metal armor. However, he still considers her a friend and a mentor to some extent, and the reason she hasn't kicked him out of their RC is that he has been known to prove himself should the need arise. One thing Fawkes has going for him is his determination to see a job done, and even on occasions where he has literally Pignite-backed upon his partner the whole time, he can be counted upon to know what to do at a critical moment. And if he feels that a matter has touched him personally - if his partner is threatened/hurt, or if his or someone else's behavior has led to misfortune for either partner - he will go out of his way to do the right thing, be it backpedal after a poor decision or take responsibility should Rose give up hope. While reluctant to pull his own weight or look out for others, his boundless optimism and ability to shake off angst more easily than most can be valuable traits to have in the right situation.
Interestingly, being a self-insert character, Fawkes channels all the traits of his creator, including the weirder ones. In particular, he is rather lascivious for an avian creature, and though such is to a lesser extent than some other agents, having an steel-encrusted crane ogling below your waistline is not exactly a pleasant experience for most people. After all, sexual arousal from human feet and tickling would be a lot more bizzare (and disturbing to some) in the case of an armored bird as opposed to a human. Despite being highly unlikely to mount anything that moves (especially considering the obvious risk of slicing hypothetical lust objects to ribbons), if Fawkes is in a story with an appealing character, and in a form that doesn't maim things with just a touch, he WILL exploit the opportunity for all it's worth. He has a slightly broader spread of paraphilias than most characters, and isn't one to complain about such things in general, save for the obvious exceptions of inflation, scat, vore, and guro. Those are just wrong, man.
Department: Department of Implausible Crossovers
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And here's my obligatory persona! Hopefully a non-human self-insert isn't too far out there.
Fawkes was originally created as a persona for my first account on deviantART, and was originally a shiny Skarmory. Since I never got to use him for anything significant (he's only got like two to three old pics to his name on my dA gallery), I decided to dust him off, repaint him, and use him at the PPC.
Again, feedback is welcome~! :)
Right. Fawkes. First off, let's look at that name.
'Fawkes' is, obviously, the phoenix from Harry Potter. It's also the name of a former PPC Boarder, and is a canonical nickname for her agent, Chelsea 'Fawkes' Miller. Since I've adopted the character, I'm rather protective of her identity; that said, agents with identical names aren't exactly forbidden.
On the other hand, how did he come down with the name 'Fawkes'? That's a fandom name, and your backstory for him says he was never captured - ie, you can't even postulate a HP-fanatic trainer giving him the name (if HP even exists in Pokemon, which I've never seen any hint of). He was intercepted by Rasheeda, who also presumably has no fandom links... and anyone else in HQ would probably name him anything other than a canon character's name, since they're, uh, PPCers.
So... where did his name come from? My impression has always been that Pokemon don't have personal names unless they're captured and nicknamed. Even then, characters like Pikachu and Meowth stick with their species names, quite happily. I can certainly see him taking or being given a name in HQ - but I can't really see it being a Harry Potter reference. If he was mostly associating with Rasheeda at that time, which you seem to suggest, he might even have an Arabic or Egyptian name.
And... where does 'of Silver' come from? That seems to be just a random addition. The 'of' formation suggests 'Silver' is a person or a place... did he live at Mount Silver in Johto? But Skarmory don't seem to be native to Mt. Silver...
Anyway, enough on the name. Moving on to appearance. Again, the description is fairly clear; I have no problem with the idea that his feathers are shinier than other Skarmorys' - Pokemon can vary in appearance just like anything else.
His human form, though... like I said with Rasheeda, a disguise is meant to disguise. He can look Indonesian - if he's in a canon where Indonesian-appearing humans are around. He can have metallic hair - if he's in a canon where metallic hair exists. I'm having a very hard time imagining a situation where he could have sword-wings and still consider it a disguise.
Remember, disguises have nothing to do with the person involved - in theory, they can turn anyone into anything. Human agents will often just disguise their clothes, or otherwise make minimal changes - but there's no reason for Fawkes to limit himself so. It's not like he has a native human form!
Linked to this, but something you haven't explicitly mention: speech. As far as I'm aware, almost all Pokemon have single-word vocabularies. They can vary their intonation and 'sentences', but they're limited to, well, their own name.
And I think that would be really cool to read. Think about it! Your character is a bird made out of swords, who is prone to making witty comments - only he makes them in the form of 'Skar? Skarmor, mory.' And Rasheeda tried to translate the sense, while being utterly unable to understand the words.
Obviously, when in disguise, he can speak English - which could be a continuation of the storyline. Picture Rasheeda getting more and more irritated by what she can tell are snide remarks in Skarmory-speak until, the instant they step through the portal, she whirls around and pins him against the wall, forearm to his now-human neck. "You are going to tell me exactly what you were saying back there," she growls, "and you are going to do it right now."
Moving on to what you actually wrote about... powers. The moveset looks fine, though I'm not sure why you've gone for Whirlwind rather than something more Skarmory-y like Steel Wing. I like the description of Roost drawing up metal ions - is that a canon explanation, or your own? It does invite the question of what he'd do in a low-metal environment. It also makes me wonder if he can 'upgrade' his armour by, say, sitting on top of a titanium deposit... maybe that explains his shiny wings? If he lived somewhere with a high silver level, he could have absorbed it and ended up recoloured. I can see him getting a bit vain about that, and going hunting for silver every time an emergency Roost puts his feathers off-colour...
The rest of the 'powers' description looks pretty good, too. Essentially, a realistic(ish) description of a Skarmory in battle. I like the Leftovers - that's a very PPCvian touch.
That said, remember disguises: unless he's actually in Pokemon universe, he probably won't be a Skarmory. Which is a shame, but that's how it works. So except for the Leftovers, the rest of this is fairly limited in scope.
History: looks good to me. I like the 'explanation' for the plothole he fell through, and the fact that he really is pretty much a background character. Also, I'm picturing a Skarmy now and it. is. adorable.
Slight glitch - you say 'took him to the infirmary'. That's the Medical Department; it has a name. You also say 'took him under her wing' (ha ha, reverse pun), and later 'the reason she hasn't kicked him out of their RC'... are you implying that he hasn't actually been recruited and assigned as an agent? Because I don't think the Marquis de Sod or the Lichen would be too pleased by that...
Personality: I really like the tying of his personality to his Nature. Good call. It seems to mostly work, too, and I agree with Rasheeda - if it weren't for that confounded armour, I'd probably hit him, too. But overall, I think he could make an interesting character in a high-conflict partnership with Rasheeda.
And then there's the 'lascivious' aspect. Um. Let's make a little list:
-You describe him ogling what you imply to be almost everyone, including two Lust Objects who I'm pretty sure are underage. That's kind of skeevy.
-You suggest that... okay, you suggest something about what he'll do in a human disguise, and honestly, I'm having a hard time not reading it as 'he is prone to raping canon characters'. Since I... really hope that's not what you're going for, care to clarify?
-You list four 'obvious' exceptions to your final sentence, with the remark 'Those are just wrong, man'. I don't know or want to know what the terms in question mean, but describing something as 'just wrong' when what you mean is 'I don't like it' is usually a bad idea, and prone to offending people who disagree with you. I'm about halfway sure the 'just wrong' remark was in Fawkes' voice, which is a different matter (since characters aren't aware that they're being publically watched, they express their opinions differently to real people), but not all the way certain, so just... be careful.
Okay, I didn't say as much about 'Fawkes' (still vaguely hoping you'll change the name, here) as I did about Rasheeda - but I think he's a really interesting concept. And I think the combination of hair-trigger psionic weapon with carefree living sword-tank could be a fascinating high-conflict partnership to read about.
hS
Dangit, I was gonna reply this morning but I was way too busy... *grumbles about how time-consuming research is*
Re: Nomenclature - Fawkes' original name was, again, based on my first deviantART account, which was in turn partly named after Fawkes from HP who was in turn named for the real-world figure of Guy Fawkes (the way the phoenix burns up may be a reference to the Gunpowder Plot). You do raise a good point about the fact that there was no way he would've been able to acquire that name while keeping his current backstory consistent. That and I've had a long, sad history of accidentally plagiarizing from other people on the Internet, so I might as well do what 'Fawkes' would do and just give him a new name. I actually have one in mind that could work - 'Falchion.' It's a type of single-edged sword of European origin, and it also sounds like 'falcon' which corresponds to his being an avian predator. It even sounds similar to the original name, so I won't have as hard a time adjusting to the new one as I have when renaming other characters I've created. And I'm probably going to get rid of the 'Of Silver' as well, as Skarmory are only found on Johto Route 45.
Re: Appearance - Everything I said with regard to Rasheeda/Rose's (I'll just call her Rose, as Rosetta is the Anglicized version) appearance and disguises applies to Falchion as well. I - well, *HE* will stay a Skarmory, with all of the implications it entails (e.g. see below).
Re: Speech - I actually thought of Falchion as being able to speak English the way Meowth does, but now that I think of it I can't imagine why a solitary armored bird would ever think of acquiring that talent unless it's a contrived action on the author's part. Pokémon speak would make for a lot more interesting story elements, but communication will still be important if, for example, the two receive a mission and Falchion knows more than Rose does, or if Falchion has to communicate with another agent without Rose interpreting it for him.
Following up on this Mamoswine in the room, I actually came up with an idea that could work: Falchion cannot speak English when Rose meets him for the first time, but once she finds out how powerful he is, she convinces him to become her new partner and gets Makes-Things or some other PPC tech expert to make him a translation collar, like the one worn by Dug from Up (or the Monkey Thought Translator from the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movie). That way, he could 'speak' in English through the translator but, if he wants to make a REALLY questionable comment, he simply pulls on the collar so the translator isn't contacting him (which I assume is how it works, with the collar being elastic), and says the remark before snapping the translator back on.
To this end, I actually think the exchange where Rose gets fed up with Falchion would probably involve Falchion putting the translator in his bag while disguised (because he wouldn't need it) and accidentally losing the bag at some point during the mission. Considering that they'd probably be trying to get out of a tight spot, it won't be surprising that neither of them will realize that oversight until they come back to the RC. Falchion panics and tries to Buizel his way out of trouble (in Pokémon speak, of course), and THEN once Rose fails to understand him too many times, she pounces on him, they tumble back through the portal, and she pins down the now-human Falchion and demands an explanation. And THEN he reveals he lost the bag... D:
Re: Abilities - The moveset is actually based on one of Smogon's suggested sets for competitive battling, which emphasizes Skarmory's ability to gradually stall teams while tanking damage and using Roost for recovery. Steel Wing, while good for Same-Type Attack Bonuses and Defense increases and whatnot, is not as reliable as, say, Brave Bird because Steel is generally a poor offensive type, the increasing prominence of GODDAMN FAIRIES notwithstanding of course. The explanation for his Roost move is my own personal headcanon for how Skarmory pull it off, since I feel that it's their armor that takes the most damage in combat and they'd have to patch it up somehow. To his credit, he also has an alternative healing technique thanks to Leftovers, in which he simply lands and nabs a quick snack while Rose complains at him in the background to PUT THAT FOOD AWAY AND GET YOUR SHINY METAL ASS BACK IN THE AIR OR SO HELP ME. The suggestion you made about the hunting for silver to cure off-color feathers also makes a lot of sense with respect to the Roost details, and I can actually imagine him keeping a 'hoard' of trinkets he collects during missions in his nest back at their RC and squatting over it like a brooding chicken when not on duty (It also helps that I'm actually quite squeamish about getting dirty myself XD).
Re: History - Concerning Skarmy, here's the full Pokédex entry I did for the little guy. Lookin' sharp, aren't you pal?
http://pokemondayandnight.tumblr.com/post/88534574203/skarmy-sky-armor-army-steel-flying-sharp
And a bonus Mega Skarmory for the funsies:
http://pokemondayandnight.tumblr.com/post/88716203183/mega-skarmory-sky-armor-armory-steel-dragon
Nice to see the History lacks any serious faults, though I'll correct the 'Infirmiary'/'Medical Department' blooper and find a different way to state that Rose hasn't gotten fed up with him yet.
Re: Personality - The Nature is one of the suggested ones from Smogon, which increases Defense while decreasing Special Attack (which Skarmory is already terrible at, anyway). Really handy for one of the premiere physical wallers in the metagame.
As for the lusty bit... yeah, I think that was the weakest part of his bio as well. It was supposed to tie in to my own fetishes (being my persona and all) and I obssess after Pit and Sora for fanservice catering to those specific interests. I mean, have you seen how big Pit's feet are relative to his body? Or Sora's, for that matter? Bet they're incredibly soft and insanely ticklish too ;)! Anyway, yeah, I think this specific part is the only one that warrants a total rewrite to make him sound more like a flirt rather than an outright sex predator (which would probably be quite a chore, all things considered). I'd probably say that he likes making... suggestive comments to any canons he finds appealing before neuralyzing them. Not to mention putting the two characters I just mentioned under Lust Objects makes him sound like a freaking PEDOPHILE, oh my Arceus. I'll probably replace them with Falkner from HeartGold/SoulSilver, as well as the adult versions of Link from the Legend of Zelda and possibly Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender too. And maybe Ashton Kutcher if real-world crushes are allowable XD.
Whew, talk about tl;dr, I love Falchion's character to bits and I think he'll be fun to write! I certainly hope I'll be able to write him WELL, and the conflict with Rasheeda/Rosetta would definitely help. Anyway, nearly half-past midnight so I might as well call it, and probably fix up the bios later this weekend. Cheers! :)
Best regards,
SS
"I'd probably say that he likes making... suggestive comments to any canons he finds appealing before neuralyzing them." 
Dude. That's borderline sexual harassment.
It's made even more creepy by the fact that Falchion wipes their minds afterwards.
I'll cut the "lascivious" part entirely, then. I just realized that his being my PPC self-insert would not work well with my own personality, as I happen to be rather courteous myself in a public setting (read: I don't make lewd remarks to anyone). I was taught not to by my family, so I wouldn't be surprised that Rose would teach him not to.
His fetish-related interests will remain, but they'll be relatively minor and won't directly impact missions or anything; I plan for them to be just minor quirks that will make dialogue a bit more interesting. Maybe for example, he'd bring up the subject and wonder what Rose would think, and she'd reply: "I respect that you have that particular interest. Please respect that I do not."
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Universal_Translator It says that everyone gets one. Which makes me wonder if the elves aren't speaking Sindarin all the time and the humans just hear English.
Of course, with the Ewok, his language is what you'd expect and one of the people he interacts with can understand him.
Makes-Things tried to stealth-insult Jay and Acacia in Korean and they were wearing their translators so they heard him.
Falchion's collar could just be programmed to not translate when he's being a letch. Would he take it off while disguised? Unless Skarmory's vocal cords are just unsuitable to speak English even after he learns it.
The translator could be attached to a collar so that he'd still have his beak and talons free. And I'm pretty sure Makes-Things or one of the other DoSAT folks could make something sufficiently advanced that Falchion can mentally switch it off when making remarks of a certain nature.
He'd probably take it off while disguised. A number of Pokémon can also repeat human speech in the games (Chatot being a prominent example), and all Pokémon can understand it in the anime. I highly doubt Skarmory would have either the capability or willingness to learn to speak English, however.
If you're referring to whether Falchion can speak while disguised, though, he'll probably speak in the language of the species being used, though he'll probably bring the translator with him regardless in case the form he's using isn't human.
I found an awesome image of Skarmory on dA, and I think this is pretty close to what Fawkes would look like in a realistic Pokémon setting. He'd probably be more like the anime version most of the time, though.
http://renecampbellart.deviantart.com/art/Realistic-Pokemon-Skarmory-465346642
Source by ReneCampbellArt on deviantART
And here's what he'd look like in human disguise (if applicable, the wings would be attached to his arms):
I found an awesome image of Skarmory on dA, and I think this is pretty close to what Fawkes would look like in a realistic Pokémon setting. He'd probably be more like the anime version most of the time, though.
http://renecampbellart.deviantart.com/art/Realistic-Pokemon-Skarmory-465346642
Source by ReneCampbellArt on deviantART
And here's what he'd look like in human disguise (if applicable, the wings would be attached to his arms):
Name: Rosetta Bin Giza
Species: Sphinx (Mystic)
Home Continuum: An AU version of Earth created by the author for a story in progress.
Age: 35 (biologically), ~2400 (chronologically)
Lust Object/s: N/A
Appearance: Rose is an Androsphinx, a mythical creature with the head of a human and the body of a lion (Panthera leo). Her ethnicity is African in origin (being related to the Theban Sphinx, one of the most famous Mystics from this race), but she is albino - a notable aesthetic trait, but biologically possible in this continuity, and therefore not unique enough to be considered speshul (albino Sphinxes are similar to Spirit Bears, 1 in every 10 being white, for the population Rose is descended from). Nonetheless, her straight white hair, pale skin, and reddish pink catlike eyes do attract odd looks. Her ears are furry and feline-like, not humanoid, with tufts like a lynx or bobcat, and her teeth have fangs like a lion's. The jewelry adorning her body is typical of Sphinx mystics, with bangles, headress/crown, and an Egyptian necklace decorated with gold and rose-cut diamonds, but it isn't magical. Everyone knows that won't end well. Her Sphinx form has a lioness body with pure white fur, being albino and all, but she also has the wings of an eagle, feathers running down her back and, for flight control, a feathery tail like a dromaeosaurid dinosaur, with an ankh-shaped tail fan at the tip.
Like other Sphinxes, Rose can turn into a humanoid form, which is similar to the Kemonomimi of Japanese pop culture. Only in her case she insists that she isn't a "cat-girl" but a "lioness-woman". Or simply a "Sphinx" if you don't want to be pedantic. She retains her white hair and pink eyes, but her whole body is human with the exception of her cat ears, sharp claws, and the feathered dinosaur tail of her Sphinx form. She used to have an Egyptian priestess outfit, not unlike stock depictions of Cleopatra except white and rose-colored rather than blue and gold, but now she wears a black outfit like other agents of the PPC, not unlike Black Widow from the first Avengers movie, save for the cleavage being completely covered for moral reasons. She's not particularly proud of her work uniform.
Powers: As expected from a Sphinx, Rose is a ferocious battler if pressed to act. She has razor-sharp, fully retractable claws, bony spurs on her wings, and a powerful bite. The name of her kind, Sphinx, is adapted from Greek, sphingo, meaning "to strangle", which is how she usually kills prey and opponents, crushing the victim's windpipe with her jaws and suffocating them to death. She is not a brawler, however, and relies primarily on ranged, energy-based attacks to fight. As a Mystic, her Sphinx form can theoretically use a number of psychic powers, but she has only felt the need to use telekinesis and psionic projections, which can form a number of simple implements like blades, fists, and blunt-force projectiles, though no-where near as complex and strong as more dedicated psychics for reasons noted below. She can also "throw" crescent-shaped cutting beams of energy from her claws, as well as batter opponents mentally as well as physically by generating mystical gusts with her wings.
When Rose is in her humanoid form, she is much weaker physically and her mental powers therefore increase to compensate. Her passive mental abilities are levitation, enhanced senses, and the same crude mental constructs as her Sphinx form albeit on a human scale and with a timespan of up to a minute, which she has to make do with on most missions to avoid becoming too overpowered. When humanoid!Rose goes on full offensive mode, her telekinetic abilities include tornadoes of flying debris, complex implements of psychic energy (not unlike Green Lantern, but pink rather than green), and frightening visions and mental manipulation in weaker opponents. Her powers drain her energy very quickly, though, so she cannot use them for extended periods and has to rest after sweeping each battlefield, with break times ranging from several hours to at least a week. She also loses control of her powers, with more anticlimactic results than one would expect (the tornado debris abruptly stopping and dropping everything, for example) if even minor injuries or impacts are directed at her head, specifically her forehead (which is why she always wears her jeweled headgear during missions). A full-on mental onslaught is only reserved as a last resort, e.g. if a particularly destructive Sue goes on a mindless rampage.
In the Pokémon continuity, Rose would be a shiny female Meowstic with the ability Infiltrator and Choice Specs (Psychic-type Sphinx Pokémon have yet to show up in canon). Per the above information, her known moves are Calm Mind, Psychic, Shadow Ball (she'd like Ominous Wind, but Meowstic can't learn it and Shadow ball is stronger), and Sucker Punch.
History: Rose comes from an alternate world where the monsters of most mythologies were created by magic, which is in turn part of a mega-crossover currently developed by the author. She is one of the more prominent members of the main group of mentors who assist the heroes in her story, and was slated to monitor and guide a parody of the Gary Stu archetype into developing a better-written story arc involving the legions of Christian Hell. She never liked Mary Sues/Gary Stus, as one of her earliest encounters involved having to exorcise one from a canonical character that had been mutated into a man-eating monster. This is why, upon learning that she was given immortality 2400 years prior to the current storyline, as well as the full knowledge of the lost Secret Wing of the Library of Alexandria and a magical link to one of the 21 Sacred Beasts in the lore of her story, she was secretly terrified of being referred to as an impurity herself. Knowing of her backstory but unable to accept it until she was better developed, she fled through a Plot Hole and immediately signed up for the PPC, in the hopes that she could learn more about her own character as well as Mary Sues in general before rejoining with her allies back at home. Heroes of Yonder may be the story about the growth of the protagonist Rose is tasked with protecting, but the PPC is where she develops in her own right.
Personality: At first glance, Rose appears stoic and completely unsympathetic, which is typical for a Mystic who has to empty her mind of all things trivial to make use of her power. Her long history of having to keep a cool head in times of crisis has led her to consider most matters as being below her effort, one of the few exceptions being the guidance of protagonists and the destruction of "canonical impurities" (a.k.a. Mary Sues/Gary Stus). Characters who are borderline Sues or Stus are given the benefit of the doubt if they show their worth, but anyone beyond that line is likely to be swiftly and systematically terminated. It can be said that Rose's demeanor is very business-like, preferring to get a job done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Some of her personality aspects are quite similar to Raven from the Teen Titans TV show, being anti-social, reclusive, studious, and dryly sarcastic, but she lacks any demonic influence in her history or personality, seeing it as a sign of impurity. While not as much of a "neat freak" as several other characters in her home continuum, she prefers being organized and coherent, being a Mystic and all, and has a relatively low tolerance for unneccessary disarray. She means well despite her "wet-blanket-ness" (as her partner once put it), though she expects at least some form of karmatic retribution for people who annoy her (blatant Sue/Stu material aside).
It's hard to push Rose to her limits, but the fact that she has the habit of bottling up her subjective emotions until they explode is made clear upon overexposure to senseless violence, debauchery, and selfish, ignorant, and heavens forbid, destructive behavior conducted by people around her. It's part of the reason why she dislikes missions because she knows that especially graphic content will turn her into a ticking time bomb in short order. The aftermath of the inevitable explosion means either the target is cowed into submission by an onslaught of infuriated screaming (often while being tossed about like a ragdoll by her telekinesis), or what's left of him or her will have to be mopped off the floor. Partners and peers typically have to endure the former; the absolute worst Mary Sues and other "impurities" end up on the wrong end of the latter.
Minor quirks related to her include being partial to milk and raw meat, her dislike of water, her fascination with ancient and/or mystical inscriptions, and the DISTURBING UNBLINKING THOUSAND-YARD-STARE OF IMMINENT DEMISE she makes when she's angry with someone.
Department: Department of Implausible Crossovers
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Tl;dr, I'm working on a mega-crossover called "Heroes of Yonder" that I plan to research *thoroughly* and write well. Rose is an OC from that particular story, and I'm dropping her off at the PPC so I can get a hold of her personality. Again, feedback is welcome~ :)
Two warnings before I start. First, I'm working through this in order, not drawing syntheses or anything, so it may be a bit patchwork. Second, as a Permission Giver, I tend not to make Permission decisions on agents I've discussed at length - so please don't read this as 'this is how you can make sure you get Permission'. Different PGs have different views on things. In other words: this is just me, not my hat.
So: Rasheeda bint Giza. She reminds me somewhat of the Sphinx from Subnormality, which is not a bad thing. ;) Your description is fairly clear, and not objectionable, but:
therefore not unique enough to be considered speshul
This represents what I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of how to create a good character. Having unusual or even unique traits does not make a character 'speshul'; it's what you do with them that does that. Practically every fantasy protagonist ever written has something unique about them, whether they're the secret heir to a throne (hi, Garion!), can hear all dragons (nice to see you, Lessa!), or are just ridiculously lucky enough to run across a magic Ring (hey, there, Bilbo!). The fact that Rasheeda is albino means, de facto, it is biologically or magically possible in her continuum; you can't really argue against that, since she empirically proves it. But even if she was the first one in a thousand years, that wouldn't make her 'speshul'.
Now, if she was an albino, and therefore was wiser than all other Sphinxes, and everyone came to her for advice (because she was albino) but the evil Carthaginians tried to kill her (because she was albino) so she used her albino-powers to albinate them into Albania...
Traits are like characters: when they slot into the story, and are affected by its logic, they are fine. It's when they twist the story around themselves that they become Suvian.
Hey, I quite like that. Never looked at it in quite that way before... ahem. Moving on.
Her humanoid form: I hope you don't use this too much! I assume she has it because of her own story, but honestly, it's far more interesting to have non-human agents who stay non-human.
Some aspects of your bios seem to indicate you don't know about PPC disguises, so a brief rundown: when on a mission, agents are disguised by magi-technological means as something that will fit into the canon. A Sphinx can be disguised as a human - or as an Ent - or as a Hooloovoo if you desperately want. They don't need to have/use 'humanoid forms' from their own abilities - PPC tech has that covered.
And Rasheeda's humanoid form wouldn't work as a pseudo-disguise anyway. If (say) Legolas sees an albino girl with cat ears and a tail, he is not going to think she fits in. So even her humanoid form would need to be disguised (further).
Side note: SeaTurtle has claimed that disguises alter agents on a molecular level, negating any innate powers they might have. I'm dubious about that - we've definitely had agents retain their abilities while on missions. I'd personally say that any abilities that stem from your mind should be unaffected - we don't give them personality transplants. But things that stem from your body are going to be inaccessible when you're, uh, in a different body.
Moving on... you make a bizarre statement that Rasheeda has her 'cleavage being completely covered for moral reasons'. Er... she's a two-thousand-year-old Egyptian. I don't think they had that taboo. You'd be right that it's fairly ubiquitous in modern Arabic culture - but I'm not at all certain it existed two and a half thousand years ago.
Powers: she's terrifying. Really, she is. But you seem to change tack mid-paragraph: you start out by claiming she 'usually' kills things by crushing their windpipes (yikes!), but then claim she relies 'primarily' on ranged attacks. Er... which is it? Are her psionic projections weak enough that they can't actually kill anyone, necessitating her 'closing for the kill'?
Regardless, SeaTurtle is right on this score - all her physical attributes will be negated by disguises, as will things like 'generating mystical gusts with her wings' - because she won't have wings.
While mental powers are all very well, the standard rule in the PPC is that Sues - wait, why are you even talking about Sues? She's in Implausible Crossovers, right? So her job is to untangle crossed-over universes. Her powers have zero impact on that job. Huh.
Um, anyway. Sues have to be killed with weapons suited to the canon. In Middle-earth, you use bows or swords. In Star Wars, you use blasters or lightsabers. Where would you use incredible psychic powers? Quite a few places, probably - but mostly, not.
the same crude mental constructs as her Sphinx form albeit on a human scale and with a timespan of up to a minute, which she has to make do with on most missions to avoid becoming too overpowered.
I have no idea what you mean by this. There's something about her powers that would injure her in some way if she overused them? Or are you just saying, 'if she uses them too much, she'll be an overpowered character'? Because that's... well, pretty much the worst way of dealing with it. If you think she's overpowered, either tone her down, impose actual rules on her (many ex-Sues are forbidden from using their powers on missions), or create genuine limits. Don't just... say she 'has to make do'.
(Also, the humanoid form thing goes back to disguises again - if she's in disguise, her powers shouldn't increase to compensate - they should stay the same as in her 'natural' body.)
You describe a full Pokemon 'form' for her, but basically, that's a disguise. You can adopt a different disguise every mission - she certainly doesn't need a dedicated form. And if she was in a story where Meowstic wouldn't be found, she'll have to adopt a different one. (Plus, imagine the hilarity when she has to go in as a Growlithe - 'Ugh. I smell of dog.' "You are a-" 'Don't. Remind. Me.')
History: So, she was afraid of becoming a Mary-Sue, so joined the PPC? I can see that. I guess that might be what you meant by 'to avoid becoming too overpowered', and the idea of a character who is ludicrously powerful, but consciously fights it... I can see that. Reminds me a bit of Harry Dresden's experiences with the Mantle of Winter - it wants him to turn into a hulking powerhouse of magical rage and lust, so he spends all his time fighting it back. (And isn't that basically what he went through with Lasciel, too...?) You could equally equate it with Boromir's desire for the Ring - he has this intense internal struggle, which we never see until it breaks through.
Personality: Yep, definitely a relative of Subnormality's Sphinx. I'm not sure why you say 'at first glance', since it seems like 'stoic', at least, is absolutely her baseline personality. It's just that her Sphinxian Overpoweredness keeps trying to break through.
I'm guessing the reason she's in the DIC, rather than the DMS where she would actually get to take on Sues and Stus, is that she used to get too angry in assassination missions? This would continue the character arc I'm seeing in her: fear of becoming overpowered leads into fear of using her powers at all, which leads to a) absenting herself from sitations where she'd feel the urge to, and b) bottling everything up until it explodes.
I do agree that throwing PPC agents around the room like ragdolls is a bad thing to have in there (not to mention that many agents are very dangerous people - what makes you think she'd survive doing that?). If I may make a suggestion: have that be a thing that happened once. More specifically, I imagine her timeline going like this:
-Joins the PPC as an Assassin, hunting down Sues.
-Regularly gets furious, throwing objects around with TK.
-Has a particularly bad breakdown and throws her partner around, badly injuring her and sending her to Medical.
-Spends some time in FicPsych for anger issues. This may be a good time to talk to Jenni Robinson, who also has vast, usually-hidden powers.
-Requests a transfer to a calmer department, the DIC.
-Spends her time trying to avoid all use of her powers.
-This Is Where The Story Begins.
Because there's nothing wrong with being ludicrously powerful - but having to keep that in check is where the story becomes interesting. You can have a powerful secondary character - Gandalf - but a 'powerful' protagonist needs to be limited in some way. They can be in training (Luke Skywalker), or they can be holding back - way back - like I'm suggesting/think you're suggesting for Rasheeda.
Enough words from me; I think I've written more about Rasheeda than you did! I'll take a look at Fawkes later (and will start with his name...)
hS
I'm actually okay with textwalls as long as they're constructive. They make for fun late-night reading if nothing else.
Re: Permission - I do have plans for my first mission, but given that the rules are against jumping in straight away, I might as well take my time and integrate myself into the community before working on anything substantial. Besides, I have a conference trip this August and I'm so busy preparing that I don't think I'll be able to write anything until sometime this Autumn term.
Re: Speshul - Rasheeda/Rosetta/Rose was originally meant to be a secondary character the way Gandalf is to Bilbo, though I suppose I may have made it sound like she was the lead character when I posted her bio. She certainly has that in her given that she's more experienced than her current partner. Props for clearing up the 'speshul' definition, though, I'll edit it out when I update the bio. I was worried that her being albino (which, again, is biologically possible and relatively common among her population) may have been a blatant Mary Sue tip-off, and I'm glad it isn't in the context I've given for her.
Re: Humanoid form - One agent who stood out to me in my 'research' was Marsha, a Triceratops from the Land Before Time continuity. The fact that you guys have an agent who's also a dinosaur certainly brings forth a lot of novelty and her trying to adjust to a human disguise made for an interesting subplot in her first mission (not knowing how to use knees, anyone?). Rose had the ability to change between human and monster forms in her home continuum as a matter of convenience, since she operated solo and she had to get opposable thumbs from somewhere. But given the possibility of human disguises like what Marsha got in her first mission, I think it would make sense for Rose to remain as a Sphinx permanently until she retires (and enters the storyline of her home continuum proper).
Re: Powers - The psionic abilities are her main means of fighting, but they are meant to weaken enemies rather than kill outright, which is why I described her physical attributes as well. But you and SeaTurtle both make good points on her abilities. I think it would be interesting if, instead of needing to curb her psychic powers, she had to be trained to not to use them *at all*, save for the long-distance cutting fields and wind attacks and even then those are for the weakening purpose I mentioned. Because of this and her fear of being 'really freaking hax', if she's offered a disguise that makes use of any mental abilities within the canon, she'd rather pick one that doesn't. She would therefore have to make do with the limited close-range skills she has, plus her intelligence and strategic talent. Which ties us to...
Re: History and Personality - Your suggestion about Rose suffering a destructive breakdown and hurting her partner, and therefore transferring to a different department - I'm actually thinking of changing it to General Purposes, though that doesn't mean she and her partner won't tackle a badly done crossover or two from time to time, and the very first mission I plan for them happens to be one - actually makes so much sense that I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself. I was probably going by the line of thinking I had for the continuum she comes from, in which characters unashamedly have abilities by the boatload (which, given a setting which involves Everything Trying To Kill You[TM], is nothing short of mandatory). The way I did it was by having her special powers be very taxing to her energy reserves, inspired by the notion that the brain is the most energy-expensive organ in the body. Your suggested idea has so much more potential, however, and I have to thank you for suggesting it because I'm blatantly stealing it lol. Incidentally, your proposed timeline actually gives me an idea for a backstory for her, and may also help to set one up for another character from the same WIP continuum whom I may introduce down the line who will probably stay in Internal Affairs, considering that he's even more powerful than she is and has a much larger role in the story I'm working on.
It's five past midnight where I'm at, so I'll respond to your feedback on Agent Fawkes, or rather Agent Falchion, after I get some sleep!
I assumed that mental abilities were also included in the package. If a 'verse specifies that species X has/doesn't have psychic abilities, then a psionic agent disguised as species X will gain or lose those abilities for the duration of the disguise.
For example, a human from the Wake universe is completely psi-proof: not even the most gifted psychics can read their thoughts or influence their minds. On the flip side, those humans have no psychic abilities to speak of. In Doctor Who, it is said at one point that humans have a latent psychic talent. Most humans in the Ghost in the Shell are actually transhuman: they have had parts of their brains or bodies augmented with electronics for work or military purposes. Cyberized humans can tap into the wireless Net to download information or to contact people via brain-Skype.
In these cases, the body imposes limitations on the mind. If powers stem from the mind, what point does the body end and the mind begin?
...oop! And if you don't mind, can you point me in the direction of the missions with agents retaining powers while in disguise? I'm ashamed to say I'm a bit behind in my PPC reading and I'd like to have the most correct information at my fingertips before I open my mouth again...
Verra Rose. She's placed in an LotR-Elven disguise at very short notice (ie, not a specially set-up version), but still manages to turn into her dragon form and eat the Sue. She does it again here. She was the main example I was thinking of, but I'll also give you Meneltari, who's technically disguised when she uses her Sue powers - though since she seems to be an elf normally, it may be a 'clothes' disguise.
As to the general question of body/mind differences, consider the counter-examples: agents in Entish disguises are still able to think in straight lines. Agents in Eldarin disguises are capable of looking at the stars without going into rapture, and of thinking about sex with people they have no intention of marrying. Agents in Orcish disguises are able to go out in sunlight. Etc etc etc. Disguises aren't an Animorphs/Young Wizards scenario, where the mind of your disguise gets involved and tries to turn you fully into the creature in question; they're just a very strong, very deep physical overlay. They can grant mental powers - J&A disguise as Istari - but I don't recall any incidences of them removing powers. Got any examples?
hS
...considering a lot of the spinoffs I've read feature (mostly) a Standard And Totally Muggle HumanTM cast. Does Agent Tera losing her telepathy while in human disguise count or is the telepathy tied to the original body and therefore not a mind thing and... yeah.
I always thought that the disguises were Animorphs-type transformations minus the instincts that came with it. In the PPC case, I assumed some species-specific weaknesses are ignored (such as the Orcs and their aversion to sunlight) because the agents' transplanted psyche did not have that particular quirk in the first place.
...also, can you elaborate on the Eldar-going-into-rapture thing? That seems like a really poor evolutionary trait.
Thanks for the links. I'd better get to reading!
Eh, for my vampire agent, the only thing I'm retaining is the pain tolerance that many characters with a healing factor would develop. She loses everything else in exchange for losing her vulnerability to water, otherwise she would remain disguised all the time. I might decide to let her keep her TK since it only has one practical use.
I'll try to read stuff from the force-users. So far I just found one who complains that he can't use his lightsaber in LOTR.
I just read through all the fics that have Force-using agents outside of Star Wars, and none of them used the Force in detectable ways.
I think Ilraen Aqquired something while in disguise, but that's a technological change to his being that could carry over to a human or whatever he was in Azeroth.
First point: more of a post formatting thing. This bio was a bit of a wall-'o-text and therefore hard to read, so don't forget to use that enter key to break it up into more manageable paragraphs.
Right, onto Rosetta herself. Considering most of the PPC's known agents are human, her species, shapeshifing abilities, and psionic powers place her among the most high-powered agents in HQ. There's nothing wrong with agents with Powers; PoorCynic had a workshop on this at one point. My main concern is that, as a DIC agent, she's likely going to be operating in continua which force her to disguise herself as something other than her normal body-- sphinx or otherwise. That also means that she won't be able to use any of her powers by virtue of the Disguise Generator transforming the agent on a molecular level.
In a situation like this, it's a bit perplexing to see an agent gifted with such extraordinary physique and psionics not being able to use them at all. In that case, wouldn't a regular human do the same job just fine? Perhaps she would better be off serving in a security department where her martial talents would better serve the cause.
I'm also iffy on the "tosses coworkers like rag dolls" part of the bio. Agents that repress anger and demonstrate it explosively usually catch the attention of FicPsych or the DIA-- whichever is needed.
That's all I got off the top of my head-- feel free to ask questions!
It looks like you're angling for an Arabic-sounding name. There are two problems with the current one: Rosseta is a European one and 'bin' means 'the son of', so if your Sphinx is female you want 'bint' (the daughter of), instead.
Hmmm, for a first name, how about Rasheeda? It means "wise, mature", which suits her role. Hence, Rasheeda bint Giza.
I meant to reference the Rosetta Stone when I originally named her. Perhaps Rosetta could be a nickname for convenience instead.
'Rosetta' is the Anglicised (version of the French version of the Arabic) name of the town the stone was found in, currently named Rashid/Rašīd. And Rasheeda/Rashida is the feminine version of that name. For what it's worth, BehindTheName renders it as 'rightly guided'.
hS
Didn't think such a coincidence would come up, but it's nice to see that I can still make that connection and give it a more authentic touch. Not to mention "rightly guided" fits her (mostly) level-headed nature. So Rasheeda "Rosetta" bint Giza it is.
It's old, but it should be helpful. I may update her appearance in future drawings, including the outfit she wears on missions.
It's old, but it should be helpful. I may update her appearance in future drawings, including the outfit she wears on missions.
