Subject: "Uncle Siri"?
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-11 13:56:00 UTC
So Sirius is one of Steven Jobs' partners?
Subject: "Uncle Siri"?
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-11 13:56:00 UTC
So Sirius is one of Steven Jobs' partners?
Heh, and it only took four months. ^_^
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1As35sGYVPzjoICOvlCN8nktxLvlUfaO-aOHIijJPCFA/edit?usp=sharing
Be warned- Harry and Tonks are 'Soul-Bound' and Harry becomes known as Lord Potter.
You forgot to add the mission to the main page of the wiki (I noticed it now).
Even though I was logged in and everything, it said I wasn't allowed to edit the home page. :/
I can edit it, it must be some sort of glitch. Post whatever you want added here, I'll add it.
Rina and Randa take on their second mission, this time against Lord Potter and his Soul-Bonded wife.
You can probably copy/paste from the Current Events page. I tried editing the main page again and it gave me the same message, so this is really appreciated. {:-)
Yeah, looking at your and Nesh's comments and the mission, I agree Mindy's willingness to go with the agents a bit too convenient. I'm working on that right now, just want to make sure I get it right. :)
And as for the Nundu... I'm a huge HP nut, as you probably figured out. As soon as I read 'Arctic Nundu', I kind of exploded. And it just made sense in my head that Luna would have the feeling that the agents were there.
I'll go fix those right away. Maybe not the thing about Mindy being too easily released, since that one I'll need to think about... Anyway, I will say I got the idea to quote canon from Nume quoting LotR in "Ring Child". Kudos to you. :D
Only two glitches in the whole shebang! Well done! (I agree with Randa about doing a continuum where the minis aren't giant spiders.)
Mindy is the cutest house-elf I've ever read. :) Where do you think she works now? Cafeteria? Personnel?
I was briefly considering having her be Rina's next partner (since Randa and I aren't going to be able to see each other much and we both prefer doing the mission in person), but then I realized Mindy was way too agreeable and her speech pattern would just get tiring to write. So probably Cafeteria.
By the way, guys, if anyone wants to use Mindy in their story, go ahead. I'm declaring her free-to-use.
It seems that the rest of the Boarders got quite a few mistakes, but they unfortunately missed a few.
Whatever you say, Rina-sempai. You misspelled the honorifc; it's senpai (i.e., with an N, not an M)
Randa scrambled out of another mini-Aragog's (this one was named Godrick) way This is worded awkwardly, as you have "this one" relating back to a possessive noun. Try rewording the sentence: out of the way of another mini-Aragog (this one was named Godrick)
"Viower excretion" should most definitely be "Reader discretion".
Also, what do the curly brackets around some of the badfic quotes mean?
Also, "Uncle Siri"? Lel on the Apple-influenced Stuthor :P
All-in-all, I enjoyed the mission. The badfic seems to be of the funny sort and Rina & Randa's reactions make it even more funny. It isn't too long, which is also a plus. Well done, Ixi.
so you have to ask Karou Windstalker. "Viower excretion" is so obviously wrong that I assume it is meant to be a joke, probably a quote, although not from this badfic.
HG
Yeah, it's one of My Immortal's more (in)famous disclaimers.
So Sirius is one of Steven Jobs' partners?
There's a typo in your disclaimer, but that mission was a fun read.
Even with both me and Randa going over the thing twice, stuff still slips by. :3
I think my favourite part was the recruitment and subsequent interactions with Mindy, although the actual mention of physically writing a mission report at the very beginning was pretty great too. We don't see that kind of thing enough, in my opinion. And ooh, the recitation of canon is another trick that isn't employed as much as it should be. I loved that bit.
Really, like your last mission, this one had a very strong Original Series vibe to it, which is definitely a very cool thing.
-Aila
Finally! I've been sitting here and frothing at the mouth waiting for it to be done. :)
^^^That was me. I keep forgetting to put the name down.