Subject: Wow. Wow, okay, then.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-06-30 22:42:00 UTC

To be honest, I thought my response was fairly clear in... well, literally everything I've said in this thread. But sure, let's talk.

I'm going to skip over first to your apology.

I honestly did not know that it was a sore spot: I thought that you were just being unclear in some kind of an attempt to put the spotlight on homosexuality without any reference to the person that I am talking to. I acted in ignorance, and I apologize.

I'm truly not trying to be ungracious, but I feel uncomfortable accepting this. The fact is, you start off "Finally, a clear answer," to which my response is: I gave you a clear answer from the very start. I'm not going to go hunt down the emails we exchanged, but "I don't want to answer that," or "I'm neither male nor female" WAS a clear answer. It was a clear, definite answer that you refused to accept.

Second - God, I hate to do this, as it undermines the assumption of trust we tend to make in this community, but my point stands. "My gender is neither" is an adequate answer, and the fact is, you still have no idea if I'm telling the truth or not. I am, as it happens, but again, what does that actually mean? No one I meet in person knows what my biological sex is unless I tell them, either. My sex - and literally everyone's sex - is their own business and nobody else's. So in that respect, I WAS trying to make a point. Not a point about homosexuality, but a point about gender. The point was "My sex doesn't matter, any more for me than anybody, lay off." I could've told you right away, and again, in a way I did, but really, my point stands: it's none of your business whether anyone's sex matches their gender.

I'm aware this is going to sound rude, but let me be perfectly clear: is it any more rude than a politely-worded request for someone to inform you what their genitals look like? It doesn't matter that I'm intersex: if I'd come out and said I was biologically male or female, or trans and didn't want to disclose, it would still be none of your business.

Now. Your other two points.

I am not saying "you don't have the right to celerate the ruling"; it's just that I personally do not see the ruling as something to celebrate. So we're just putting it out there: not everyone is in accord that Obergefell v. Hodges is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

See, I might really dislike one of the faculty in my department, right? I'm still not going to show up to their retirement or tenure party and remind them that I'm not happy about the celebration. When the College Republicans on campus are having a party to celebrate something that went their way, I don't show up and tell them I disagree; I choose a time and place that's appropriate, rather than walking in and telling them "Hey, I'm just putting it out there, but I really wish the open-carry law hadn't passed."

I think Huinesoron answered your other point very well, but I'll throw in my two cents as well.

And anyone at the front lines of this knows that the assertion "It won't affect you" is false. Even you hint at the real issue in your first paragraph: "it's just one more step towards acceptance." That's the core issue here: whether we, as a society, are going to say that homosexuality is as equally valid, morally, as heterosexuality.

And... again, how does that affect you? Yes. We are one more step towards full acceptance. I'll say it again: how does this affect you? You are presumably not gay. You are perfectly welcome to continue being not gay, and attending a church, and voting for politicians, who agree with you. You can wear a shirt every day that says "Love the sinner, hate the sin," or "I'm Straight and the rest of you are going to hell," or whatever you like. You can go to non-gay bars. You can stand in front of gay bars with signs that say "I wish this place didn't exist" or, again, whatever you please. Yes, you're going to have to deal with the fact that the majority of society disagrees with you. So? The majority of society disagrees with me on a lot of issues; for example, the fact that non-gender-binary people exist. As a general rule, I sort of continue existing, and it does not effect me in the slightest*. Another example: my religious beliefs fall into a sort of weird place between religions. I disagree with the majority of society about things like the nature of God, etc. It doesn't effect me.

And when placed in those terms, the reason we Christian conservatives are fighting tooth and nail is as clear as crystal. And I am not speaking in hypotheticals here, it is clear from Europe and even here in the United States as well that wherever gay marriage goes, forced acceptance thereof follows. We are all but told the words of the Borg: "Resistance is futile." Either assent to the prevailing orthodoxy, or the will of the state will force you to, religion be damned.

No. It really isn't clear as crystal. What are you fighting? That people who aren't you and don't agree with your beliefs will... uh, continue to not be you and not agree with your beliefs? You're fighting for the laws and moral codes of your specific sect of your specific religion to apply to everyone. Including, I might add, the people who lived here for tens of thousands of years before any Christian set foot on these shores - gender and marriage and sex and sexuality are seen from a completely different worldview by the Plains, Coast Salish, Plateau, Basin, Southwest, Southeast, and Northeast tribes. (The Arctic are the only place I know where marriage... kinda sorta resembles European tradition.)

"Either assent to the prevailing orthodoxy, or the will of the state will force you to,"

I'll say it again - force you to WHAT? Not throw people who are gay in jail? Not stone women who get divorces? Not stone men who lie with men as with women? What are you worried about being forced to do? The majority of the population still identifies as straight, dude. Nobody's going to force you to do a single thing.



*that's actually a blatant lie - it effing sucks, getting a dirty look no matter what bathroom you use, having to explain to people every other day when they ask what you are, like, biologically, though, getting passed up by the bus because the driver didn't like what he saw, wondering whether that guy who's been giving you dirty looks in the bar all night is going to follow you out and go after you, etc.

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