Subject: Doubling back on the whole thing.
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Posted on: 2015-04-14 18:43:00 UTC

Checking back on most of the narrative, I'm pretty sure I used "said" a lot of times, but good call on the adverbs - I've checked back and gotten rid of most of them. Likewise, the way I'm explaining all the itty bits of the characters' reactions along with the dialogue does sound a bit off-putting, though that may have been one of the side effects of me liking to write long textwalls and such. I may go over the interlude as well to see if I did the same thing - and I will do what I can to avoid doing that in future missions.

Regarding the "every single line spoken at once" thing, the agents didn't notice because they were paying attention to the fact that every line was in script format (which is also a very bad thing to do in a narrative fic), and they ended up scrambling to reset their own format when it got affected too.

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