Subject: No spoilers for the interlude here
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-14 15:43:00 UTC

It’s a bit late for beta reading. I should really check my e-mail more often.

...a small metal cubes with buttons...
Should be "cube" (singular).

...the agents heard the devices make some futuristic sci-fi-ish sounds...
Should be "device" (singular).

Another long paragraph later, Matt managed to drive Giga Bowser and Matt away.
Do I need to read the badfic to understand what’s going on there? Is Matt driving away with Giga Bowser or are there two persons called Matt?

...during which the agents reset their format reset as usual.
I’m not sure whether resetting the format or resetting the "format reset" is the intended action here.

"What’s this guy gonna next, stop a school shooting?" she asked.
I’m not sure whether Sarah intentionally skipped a word there.

Armed with this knowledge, the canons proceeded to attack and fatally injure Moriamaru. The canons watched and waited.
Shouldn’t this be the agents, watching and waiting?

The new mini leaped off the Stu and headed over to join the agents.
“No,” Matt whispered in total shock, before transforming into his beast form and flinging Windscar off of him.

What’s going on here? Isn’t Windscar the new mini who had already leapt off the Stu? How could Matt fling him off then?

...silently thanked her lucky stars and superheroes that she hadn’t been flung into a tree.
Sarah has superheroes? Who are they?

Sarah and Cupid both cried out in stark horror. The Dragon Chain had severed his partner’s right hand with a single bite!
Since the first sentence’s POV was Sarah and Cupid’s, the second sentence’s POV should better not be just Cupid’s; thus "their partner’s".

And yeah, the interlude following this mission basically my way of killing...
Missing word "is"?

Will the agents be in trouble because nobody charged Naraku?

HG

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