Subject: Congrats!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-13 04:06:00 UTC

A couple things I noticed...

(First off, unless my Internet sources are wrong, the title character's name is written Inuyasha.)

"A few paragraphs of dialogue passed by, during which the agents reset their format reset as usual."
Uh...what? I think you hit reset one time too many.

"“Go figure that he’d show off his wonderful toys,” she grumbled."
"Go figure" is used for an event or situation that doesn't make sense (it's shorthand for "go and figure that out", according to Urban Dictionary). Since it makes sense for Matt the Gary Stu to show off his cool toys, use something like "And of course" instead.

More tomorrow, when I'm less tired.

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