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By now, a grotesque, scientifically-inaccurate pterosaur should have shrieked down out of the sky to attack you. Your chances are basically nil either way, but I will stay with you to the end regardless.

What is currently mauling you?
-A big thing with a pointy crest [Pteranodon]
-A smaller thing with a really ugly face [Dimorphodon]
-Nvm, I'm going for a swim. Wheeee!

Okay, I'm going to be honest with you: you are probably about to die. Podracing is horrifyingly dangerous, and while Anakin is Force-sensitive, he's also a kid who's just had someone from another reality appear on top of him.

The best you can do is scramble around to hang on behind him, and hope none of the terrible, terrible fates that could befall you actually do. I'll catch up with you once the race is over!

...

Are you dead?
-Yes, I fell off the podracer/got shot by Tusken Raiders/was scraped off on a cliff/got crushed by a competitor/other [delete as appropriate].
-Yes, Anakin crashed and now we're both dead.
-No, but we lost the race miserably.
-No, and ??somehow?? Anakin still won the race.

Currently: camped around Amon Ereb.

Wait, you don't have a compass, do you? Right, so east is the direction the sun rises in; if the sun's already up, put it to your right and get walking. You've got... oh, about a hundred miles to go, through dense woodland which is probably infested with Orcs, Ents, and Elves. Good luck!

... oh, but first you need to get out of Maedhros' camp. You can't really sneak (Elves have very good hearing), so I suggest waiting until everyone's busy and then just walking off.

How'd that go for you?
-I am now lost in the woods (yay!).
-Maedhros caught me and wants to talk.
-One or more really scary black-haired Elves caught me; I don't think they're interested in talking.

We'll kick off a second if I'm still clinging to sanity after the first finishes, okey?

hS

ABO = Alpha-Beta-Omega. Basically, take everything people think they know about wolves, mix in a bit of Brave New World, then apply it to canon characters (usually all male) in the most nonsensical way possible, and you get ABO or "Omegaverse" fic. It's sort of a Dom/sub thing, but with weird and sometimes downright scary ideas about how psychology and biology work. Wolf and human.

Incidentally, another of my pet peeves is bad biology and medicine.

Of course, the standard caveat that anything can be done well applies (Quincy posted her take on an original-universe ABO story a while back; I liked it). I think it's just one of those things where the stuff that draws some people really boggles/squicks/terrifies the rest of us.

~Neshomeh never wanted to think about the Avengers that way. Thanks, AO3. Stay freaky.

We can have two Star Wars threads running, right?

I was under the impression that we are still getting a steady stream of newbies

They're very tasty.

...Also, I'm in an open-topped vehicle, moving very fast. I don't know if I like this situation too well.

Right? They're that kind of dinosaur right? (Still outside standing perfectly still and hoping they don't see me.)

And dwarves are better.

Let's find some non-elves! Maybe Dwarves or something.

Currently: Running From Pterosaurs

Seriously, you need to run. I've seen this film, and the pterosaurs gave a Horrific Ironic Death to someone who hadn't done anything to deserve one, it was awful.

Did you run yet? Are you inside?
-I am in a shop now.
-I'm in a huge ornate visitors' centre.
-I'm in a lab and there are men with guns.
-I'm still outside. Come to me, my pretties!

Frankly the only cookies I know of in this setting are the ones offered to people if they will come to the Dark Side; I'm not sure that's really necessary here.

It's probably a good idea at this point to figure out exactly where you are.

Where are you?
-In an open-topped vehicle sitting in a yard.
-In an open-topped vehicle moving very fast.
-In a yellow starfighter sitting in a hanger.
-In a yellow starfighter in space.
-In a disturbingly organic spaceship.

The good news is, I know where you are!

The less-good news is, you've just escaped the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, the Battle of Unnumbered Tears. What you witnessed was basically the final end of Elvish civilisation, and in particular that of Maedhros' army.

The thing is, Maedhros goes kind of off the wall at this point. He's going to be getting quite a bit more murder on in the near future, and not all of it on Orcs, if you know what I mean. (I mean he will be killing Elves.)

So... what do you want to do?
-Hang out here; I'm cool with Elf-murder.
-Go find one of the hidden Elven cities - Doriath, Gondolin, Nargothrond, the Havens of Sirion... yeah, there's a few.
-Track down Beren and Luthien! They're pretty close by, actually.
-Try and find some mortals (Elves are scary).
-Head for the hills; Beleriand isn't safe!

...Can I give him cookies? Pretty please?

The emergency exit's that way! And everyone's not stampeding in an orderly fashion!

Here's what you need to know:

-In reality, pterosaurs were a vast and diverse group of animals, each with its own specialisation. Most were small and incapable of harming humans; the few that could cause you serious problems would probably hunt you on the ground, rather than swooping down at you.

-In the world you've wound up in, pterosaurs are bloodthirsty flying dragons which want to eat your face.

What I'm saying is: run!

-I am running, and so is the screaming crowd around me.
-I am running, but the rusty walkway isn't making it easy.
-I am running, but I think I'm going to reach a glass wall soon.

((Basically, darkish-skinned and quite beardy - what we would now define as Mediterranean or Middle Eastern/Arabic.))

Wait, is this Torchwood? This is Torchwood, isn't it. Oh dear.

It sounds like you've figured this thing out; would you like a job as a Mysterious Voice from Above?

(I'm just kidding; you've been dropped into another universe, I'm legally barred from giving you a job.)

Anyway, how does Anakin look?

-He's an irritatingly cheerful kid.
-He's got this weird skinny braid.
-He's got a big scar on his face.
-He's wearing weird white armour with a cape.

Can I call you MV? I'm gonna call you MV.

So I tried it! I said, "Hi! I'm Deadpool. Also new here. Do you have any chimichangas?"

He didn't give me a name, but he has been swearing at me for the last three minutes. I love meeting new people!

((If my Deadpool sounds incredibly off, by the way, I apologize and will gladly take pointers. I'm having fun, though. ~Z))

Canon: Jurassic Park

You've fallen into a world of science and discovery, of terror and--

Wait.

Did you say dinosaurs? As in... you can actually, currently, see dinosaurs?

Um... are they in a cage?

-Yes, with big metal fences.
-Yes, with shiny glass walls.
-Yes, but so am I.
-Nope!
-Actually, do pterosaurs count as dinosaurs?

How old is he? Has he tried spinning? Is it a good trick?

So, it sounds like you've wound up in the cockpit of a fighter. I'd love to find out more about where and when you landed, but given that you've just magically appeared on top of someone, we should probably deal with that first.

And given that you've just magically appeared on top of someone, we might as well be brazen about it. Say something like, "Hi! I'm new here. What's your name?"

What's their name?
-Luke.
-Anakin.
-Poe.

((I'm annoyed that there are no female one-person fighter pilots who are prominent enough to make this list. Also, reminder that you're absolutely free to name someone else, or give a non-name response.~hS))

I'm playing now, and I'm right on top of someone. Hi, someone! This is exciting. Be my eyes now, latest Mysterious Voice, okay?