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Gosh. I'm glad you liked it so much! This kind of dashed itself out under my fingers in the couple of hours before bed, so I wasn't really thinking of it as anything particularly good.

I, uh, I haven't actually watched any Star Trek, so I didn't really know how holodecks worked. I definitely didn't realize the characters could escape the hologram generator . . . how does that work, exactly? I'll have to work on that if I ever upload this properly.

But I am glad my story entertained as much as it did!

—doctorlit scared his friend yelling at the monolith after watching a certain season finale of AoS

• I wonder whether or not the choice of link text is significant ...
  - Ok, those Overwatch usernames are nice
  - The swordfighting training was a cool thing, and you did a good job of showing Charlotte's level of being in shape compared to Ix
  - ... omai? I think that next bit gets an omai.
  - I'm with Lotte on the "not getting shot" thing
  - Oh, man ... those transitions. inb4 Charlotte gets knocked out by one
  - Narrator, stop acknowledging the innuendos I had in my head :P
  - Ok, I'm not following the dress code thing
  - Oh ... nvm, I didn't notice the hair thing in the fic. That makes sense new (a few paragraphs later)
  - Ok, that's a clever execution method which is going to fail now that you've mentioned it on page
  - Awww. Ix/Lotte in the Jack conversation is cute
  - The middle of a dangerous mission is a perfect time for a snogging session, I'd say
  - Wow, this Sue's massively flip-floppy characterization.
  - Ok, that Ix/Lotte flirting with the accent ... sexy interlude when? :P
  - High speed broom chase?
  - Looks like I didn't need to wait for an interlude :P
  - Took me a moment to figure out that "part of a dream" was the Sues's dream
  - Ok, Jack is funny
  - Oh my, that ending ...
  
  Review: Ok, so that was overall good. You got in a bunch of relationship development for Ix and Charlotte.
  
  One complaint I have is that you hammered in the inconsistent characterization of the Sue a whole lot, comparatively, but that could be because it's the major persistent issue. Idk. Might be worth looking in to.
  
  - Tomash

I just find it amusing that all these fantasy creatures would gather together and play 4E D&D as DMed by an animatronic from the FNAF games. In point of fact, I've actually statted up Thorin - goblins make surprisingly okay paladins - and am using him as part of the B Squad, which is my backup characters in the 4E game I'm playing at the moment. There's Thorin "Definitely Not A Goblin" Greenbeard (goblin Valiant Cavalier), Astarael Meadowclear (transgender hobgoblin ranger), and Cedric the Suicidal Skeleton (eladrin Iron Soul monk who just so happens to be an skellington, on account of being dead for the past nine hundred years). This is to go with my main character, Geraldine Snodgrass (shardmind barbarian obsessed with pulp fantasy novels).

Games with me in them tend to be slightly odd, is what I'm driving at here. =]

I went ahead and cleaned up Neverfree. Has it really been a year since that happened? Yikes.

Agent Ix came out during the last interlude I wrote, so it was pretty recent. As for the confidence—a lot of it is starting to accept herself for what she is, but also, I think, getting into the role of a teacher. Charlotte's not the deadly killing machine she used to be, so Ix is having to step up and whip her into shape, which doesn't leave her a lot of time to second-guess herself when her partner's life is on the line.

(And since her experiences are mirroring mine, I did feel generally more assertive while on testosterone, so make of that what you will.)

Thanks for the review. :)

Torchwood atmosphere or testosterone? Fwai appeared to be more confident before they entered the fic, so it must have been the latter? Or there may be factors at play that Fwai doesn't even think about, like positive effects of having come out (was this only recently?), or Lottie being less overwhelming now that she's struggling with being human. Looks like a perfect reason to reread the whole story arc trying to see the greater picture, and now that I'm no longer working to earn a living, I may even find the time to do it. Or I may just be looking for another pretense to still not start my own spin-off :-)

OT: Also, the Uncanonical Department of Inaccuracies would like to inform you that there is a small inaccuracy in "Neverfree From Working", spilled over from the RP. Richard Legard saying "Now, the Cafeteria, you said?", apparently in response to Ajax sending Desdendelle and the Librarian to the cafeteria, doesn't make any sense. A more reasonable version of that dialog, changing about three lines, may be found at the end of Hardric's mission Backside of the Canon. After one year, I finally got around to tell you this.

HG, procrastinating.

I never had a campaign quite like this—most of the funniest stories came from other people's games; Phobos has some great ones—but still. I would hang out with these people, and occasionally bring the Oreos. {= )

~Neshomeh

Just ... yeah. That was funny, and not all that unrealistic either, I'd say (aside from the floffiness of the various players).

- Tomash

First I was like "Huh, doc's going for fanfic. Cool."

Then I was like "Nah, there's a twist coming. This is gonna be a PPC agent."

And I was right, and I was happy. And then it kept going, and just got more and more funny, except I felt bad for laughing at Doc and Fitz. What an awkward pair of awkwardness they make! Poor guys. Maybe Doc should try training against, say, Fluttershy?

I'm also slightly concerned about AI!May and how sapient she actually is, but since it's a holodeck program, I guess that question answers itself. Has DoSAT managed to solve the persistent problem of holodeck characters gaining self-awareness, escaping, and running amok, do you think?

... Who am I kidding, the Laws of Comedic Irony say any attempt to solve the problem will just make it worse. {= )

All that is to say I enjoyed this very much, and my only nitpick is that you missed the word "it" in the line "She balled up the coat and tossed [it] to Doc."

~Neshomeh

P.S. FitzSimmons are the most star-crossed couple in the multiverse* and I love them to bits. Damn you, Joss Whedon, for consistently punishing characters who dare to find love!

*This is science.

Spoiler Warning: Seasons one and two of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

Agent Melinda May walked through the corridors with an even stride. Even without looking anyone in the face, she could tell the other agents moving past her were avoiding looking her in the face. Her already flat mouth became ever more pinched. She turned a corner and—

—and halted. The laboratory was almost completely empty, which was unusual in the middle of the day. There was one person inside, an Asian woman with black hair in a ponytail.

May narrowed her eyes. She didn’t recognize the woman. She looked awfully young too. May power-walked straight to the door and went inside.

“You aren’t authorized to be in here.” She stared the strange woman in the face, watching it for minute changes of expression.

The woman looked up. “Oh, Agent May,” she said calmly, looking up and making eye contact with May. “Yes, actually, Agent Simmons asked me to come in and pick up some research data for her.” She looked back down and opened a folder, flipping through papers.

The folder had been closed to start with. Drifting closer, May quietly asked, “Why didn’t Agent Simmons come herself?”

Without looking up this time, the other woman answered, “She was operating some fancy computer program, couldn’t step away. I volunteered to come pick up some files for her. Do you know offhand where the data on Carl Creel’s recovered skin fragments would be?”

“Simmons asked you to get something but didn’t say where it was?” May started slowly up the aisle between work benches that the woman was standing in. “How unlike her.”

There it was. A tiny wince in the woman’s cheek. Lying. “I guess she wasn’t certain where the files were? Someone else may have been—”

“Agent Simmons knows where all her files are.” May’s voice was low, very nearly a growl. “You’re a HYDRA agent, and you’re coming with me. Right. Now.”

The woman stepped back a bit, getting clear of the lab tables that had enclosed her. Fear and confusion played across her face: the confusion forced, but the fear plenty real. “HYDRA? No, I—I’m S.H.I.E.L.D. Look!” She turned her shoulder to May, displaying the eagle logo on her coat.

“Yes, I’ll be confiscating that uniform as well. I’m sure the real agent you took it from will be wanting it back. And you’d better pray that I find them still alive.”

The HYDRA agent made a quick movement towards the aisle on the left.

May crouched down and waited.

Sure enough, the HYDRA agent pivoted quickly on one heel and reversed directions, using the edge of the work table to quickly turn into the aisle on May’s right.

May ducked under the table and rose on the other side in one fluid motion.

The HYDRA member hesitated for a second, then ducked back under the same table May had just gone under.

Two big mistakes. May was close enough now. She grabbed the edge of the desk and swung her legs under diagonally, catching the HYDRA member’s ankles between her own and twisting. The HYDRA agent went down as she tried to come out the other side. Her reflexes were good enough to bend her torso, keeping her face from connecting with the edge of the next table.

May ducked under the table again, grabbing the woman’s right arm as she began crawling forwards. The woman tried to roll to her left to free the arm, but May pushed forwards and pinned it against her back. She then moved her legs over those of the HYDRA agent, pinning her fully to the floor. The woman flailed her left arm and her head a bit, but couldn’t fight back with her range of motion so limited. She spoke up. “All right, she got me. Turn it off.”

May furrowed her brow. She had just enough time to demand “What?” before the Playground laboratory disappeared, and the artificial intelligence of Melinda May vanished along with it.

Agent Vania stood up in the empty holodeck chamber and stretched. “May is just too good. Can’t talk her down, can’t outfight her.”

As Vania exited the room, the DoSAT technician working the controls said, “Good decision, not giving her the Berserker Staff.”

Vania shuddered. “Perish the thought. All right, Doc, you’re up.” She shrugged off the S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform jacket.

Doc looked up from The Tommyknockers, a look of rising horror on his face. “Me?” he squeaked. “But. You’re our combat person. And. I don’t do that. And. And. I’m in a really exciting part right now!”

“Our time block’s almost up. You’re doing the last one. And it’s not about combat; if you do it right, there shouldn’t be any fighting. You talk your way out, just like you would interact with the actual canon on a mission.” She checked that a bookmark was between the pages before closing the book and pushing Doc inside, ignoring the slight hissing sound he was making under his breath.

The technician asked, “He doing May, too?”

Vania made a most curious noise. “No. Oh, no. No, no, no. Lord, no. Give him . . . uh, let me think here . . . Oh! Duh! Give him Fitz.” She balled up the coat and tossed to Doc through the door.

The technician made a face. “The scientist?”

“Baby steps, all right?”

“All right.”

“Uh, but make it during the time when he was suffering from brain damage.”

The technician paused, shrugged, and adjusted the program.

The Playground’s laboratory sprung up around Doc. Agent Leo Fitz was hunched over some files at one of the work tables.

“Uh.” Doc looked down and hurriedly shrugged on the coat.

Agent Fitz looked up when he heard Doc speak. “Um, can I, um,” he muttered. He balled a hand and closed his eyes for a moment. He finally finished, “Do you need something?”

“Uh.” Doc swallowed. “I, um. Agent . . . Simmons! Sent me to pick up some files.

Outside the simulation, Vania facepalmed. “Of course, it doesn’t help that he doesn’t know the canon.”

Fitz’s eyes brightened for just a moment before his brow furrowed again. “Simmons!? Simmons isn’t . . . um. Simmons isn’t . . . Simmons is gone.” He began to rise.

“What? Oh. Sorry, I meant—”

But that was when Fitz hit Doc with a round from an I.C.E.R. gun, and he fell paralyzed to the floor.

Outside, the technician stared. “Yeah, okay. Your partner is really in need of more training.”

Vania sighed. “I’m working on it, all right?”

—doctorlit likes AoS the best out of the entire Marvel Cineverse, personally, and he ships FitzSimmons hard

I just read this interlude, and it made me very happy.

I have some things in common with Ix. I'm a disabled person without much of a gender, and I wish I didn't have boobs and wear loose clothing. Dealing with all of this is a little bit awkward sometimes even though I don't have major dysphoria, especially since I know I'll never have the money to make any actual physical changes. (Other than cut my hair short. I currently have a buzz cut and it is soo comfy.)

It was really healing to see Charlotte and Ix being adorable together, and Charlotte having no problem with Ix's gender or lack thereof, and it generally being considered a completely normal thing to admit to not being quite the gender they thought you were when you were born.

I mean, I know it's the PPC and everything, where it's normal to see sentient shades of blue and talking horses and whatnot, and being genderqueer doesn't even register as odd there. But the fact is, out of character, the PPC stories are written by real people who really have those opinions and want the world to actually be that way.

So yeah, this makes me happy.

The Harper Hall is one of the most detailed places in the series. And your mentioning it made me realize I mucked it up—journeymen have their own private dorms. That's what I get for writing quickly and without my references handy. ^_^; Will have to fix that. Fortunately, it's not hard.

The only canon character mentioned is Master Jerint, fyi. The others are my own inventions. Their names are very loosely based on those of various choir directors I've known.

I have enjoyed realizing there's lots of space for me to develop and write canonical!Derik that doesn't at all contradict what happens to him in his badfic. I'm glad you like seeing it, too. Thanks!

~Neshomeh

I love all the little details you drop into the narration. Without having read any Pern yet, it's still clear to me that this scene is taking place in a detailed setting, and not some generic fantasy camp. It gives the sense that I'm looking at a point in a timeline, for all the characters present, and not juts a standalone moment with no context.

Also, very cool to see Derik in his "canon" days, before the eventual badfic settled over him and turned him all Phantomy.

—doctorlit, totally going to start Pern eventually

Note that I’m good for SPaG and continuity, but don’t know enough about World of Warcraft (only played for some days several years ago). You may still need another beta reader for canon compliance.

My e-mail address is hidden from the spam bots on my Wiki User Page.

HG

Not much to say.

Also, Half-Life is such a great and realistic combat simulator.

- Tomash

My favorite part of this is that first paragraph. The run-on sentences, with the chains of commas, work well to show that we're seeing Tom's thought process in regards to the actions he's taking in the game, before the more proper sentences of the next paragraph take over again to express actual, physical action. Even though Tom isn't speaking that paragraph out loud, I feel it also works as a stylistic counterpoint to the way Thoth describes his training later, with much more detail and more formal sentence structure.

Nitpicks: Half-Life should be italicized. Also, "grendade."

—doctorlit, always with the nitpicks, though

You're almost certainly the second person in the world to use that awk macro; very brave.

My only remark after glancing through the code is that: there is a casequal (case based on equal) operator so you can do (casequal expr ("foo" ...) ("bar" ...) (t ...)) instead of coding up a cond with explicit equal comparisons.

Cheers ...

P. S. For the record, periods during which I remain silent about TXR on HN can be easily measured in weeks and months.

The man who was Kannan, in a real sense, doesn't exist anymore. There are fragments of him, but circumstances made Thoth a different man, if he is a man at all (I like to think that he is, even if he doesn't, but that's getting into understandings of what the Astartes are and I am already wandering pretty far afield, here...). Heck, Kannan would probably be horrified by Thoth as he is now.

This is, I think, where the big differences come in. Erik was always, fundamentally, on the side of good. 40k... doesn't really have good, not exactly. Even 30k's pretty iffy. And... well, to quote the Ahriman trilogy, "We are falling, and light is but a memory."

However, setting effects people. And the PPC is bringing to light aspects of Thoth that haven't been allowed to surface for millenia. Which is probably odd for him, and the fact that he's incredibly far outside his native context doesn't help. He may regain some semblance of what he lost.

What can I say? I like happy endings. And I also am not a fan of any setup that doesn't allow for the odd bit of straight-up Fun.

Your response to this prompt is what pushed me into really thinking about what Derik's honorable selection into his elite fighting force was like, but yeah, the basics were going to be the same no matter what. And it's still fun. ^_^ One similar detail that's just a straight-up coincidence is the "older than most" thing. Thoth had to be older because of his relationship with Erek; I always knew Derik was older because he had to be a journeyman harper first. Per his story of getting Threadscarred in the Halloween RP, I knew he was 19 then, which placed him at 18 when he was Searched.

The rest came from thinking about who he is at heart, under all the damage.

~Neshomeh

That's his voice, of course. Who made it is debatable, but Master Shonagar certainly had a hand in fine-tuning it. {= )

I'm glad you got that emotional dissonance, because the contrast between how Ezerik was as a youth and how Derik is now is something I really wanted to show with this. Some things are more or less the same—he's always been a bit headstrong, always protected people, always been a natural-born leader—but all the luck did end up being all the worst luck.

Glad you liked it, and thanks!

~Neshomeh

It took me a few minutes to catch up to the 'right, that's *Derik*' realization (it's been a while since I read anything Pern, so I very much needed the note at the end to get me thinking in the right direction about Dragonrider name changes), but...yeah, that was a fun read. :) Also kind of sad, in a way--I don't think we've *ever* seen him that happy or excited in his adult life. For good reason, of course, but the contrast makes for a bit of creeping sadness in this scene.

All in all, nicely done. The dialogue was good, and the characters have enough detail that they feel like people we just haven't seen much of yet, rather than cardboard cutouts differentiated mainly by name. It's also just pleasant writing to read, as is pretty much anything of yours I've ever read.

...I *am* wondering what Ezerik's *first*-best instrument is, though. And who made it...

~Z

There are... I'm gonna say literally millions of bad fanfics out there, and hundreds if not thousands more going up every day. It's a physical impossibility for us to do missions into them all. The PPC (organisation) can, of course, make an effort at it (though they fail miserably); for us it's completely meaningless.

We're here to have fun. If one of the myriad stories that is potential PPC fodder is inappropriate for some reason, just... don't report it. :) Remember, 'bad enough [for a mission]' doesn't actually require it to be the most brain-breakingly squicky thing you can find; TOS never delved into NSFW territory (at least not while Acacia was around), and a lot of the best missions out there are the ones into seemingly-bland stories that just have so many maddening twists away from sanity and logic that the missions come out hilarious. (Conversely, I think Clbr__n was one of my worst missions, because Dafydd and Connie basically devolved into yelling 'argh, that's so wrong!' at everything.)

hS

Well, I enjoyed this a lot. I mean, I don't know Pern at all, so I don't think I fully understand it, but I did enjoy it.

Not really much else to say. Don't have any real criticism at the moment. Sorry...

Anyways, the one other funny thing is the entirely unintentional parallels between this response and my own response to it, something Nesh pointed out long before this response was published (heck, it might have been before MY response was published), which I forgot, and then rediscovered when I read this and realized that yeah, the parallels were there. I think it's partly that this prompt just generally pushes in the direction both Nesh and I went, and also that some parallels existed in the lives and histories of Thoth and Derik (honestly, these tropes are really common. I think the main reason I picked up in it here is that Derik is a character I know better than most of the others involved in prompt responses). I dunno. But I found it amusing nonetheless. Moreso for the kind of odd friendship that seems to be forming between the two.