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but you really did do a good job replicating those old horrendous, incoherent scriptfic thingies. You did a really good job of parodying them, too - how Kitty sort of, overrides the whole thing, starts exploiting the scriptiness of it to her own needs. Agents exploiting the fic and medium and all has a sort of, fine line between being contrived and, er, not being contrived, but you built up to it and delivered it properly enough it wasn't, I'd say!

Bloody, excited to see you expand more on the Team Phoenix fellows, too!

The sheer incoherency of the 'fic' feels exactly like the old author's notes you used to see around - the ones where the author argues with their muses/kidnaps canon characters/is worshipped by said canons/etc. I'm not sure I've ever seen a fic that was this A/N-y all the way through, but they're out there, for sure.

My one issue with it is that I've never heard anything about any of the four canons, so I don't have the faintest idea who these people are. But that's how missions work, so!

hS

[Runs away laughing maniacally]

hS can out-ridiculous you all

I'm going to place this one in Unclaimed Fics then. Can I use part of your response as a note?

PS: What's a horse-doughnut?

(It's on GDocs, for context)

akrinor [dot] noname [at] web [dot] de

Do you have a little free time? Feel like betaing an interlude about a Vulcan and a human on a DOGA mission? Try this interlude! Only nine pages long, minimal canon knowledge necessary (though knowing a bit about Vulcans would be useful), and--

*drops announcer voice* Yeah, I don't have a third thing. However, I do have this interlude!

I'm mainly looking for betas for wording/SPaG and story flow. There's a little bit of editing left to do (word choice, primarily), and other than that I'd really like another pair of eyes or two (or three! Three is also good).

As mentioned, the interlude will probably make more sense with a bit of knowledge about Vulcans (nothing too detailed, just the basics of who they are and some of the things they can do). It's primarily a character piece, so an eye toward consistent characterization would also be helpful.

Any takers?

~Z

The rest of the team are going to get more fleshed out, don't worry! Part of the reason for their rampant OOCness is, well, the writer of the scriptfic didn't bother to do much with their home canons. We'll see a little about that later. >:3c

Iau is actually a deity from the Young Wizards/Feline Wizardry universe! Kitty's been spending some time in the PPC library, which is going to get interesting for her pretty soon...

(Yeah, oops! I've needed to clarify that a lot, because, uh, she very much did used to have cat ears, back in the Before Time.)

Heh heh. Heh heh. Heh. Okay.

I assumed every Team Phoenix member was getting their own recruitment story, so I was not expecting this. The silly and gross-out nature of the fic, as well as Kitty's admission that she's only been acting mature, make this feel like a proper punchline of the trilogy.

The script format is . . . hard to read, but I'm sure that was part of your intention. I am actually a little disappointed we don't get a proper glimpse of each Bean character's world, since I've never seen any of those movies, and the not-Boromir-and-Alec members have always been more background in your stories. Hopefully we'll learn more about their settings as the team forms in the next entry?

One purely curious question: When Kitty says, "for the love of Iau," is Iau a Zelda- or Yu-Gi-Oh!-verse deity?

—doctorlit has totally assumed for years that Kitty had actual cat ears based on her picture on the wiki, so he's really glad you included that line about the headband, but also really embarrassed

...

Yes.

Yes it does.

Even after only reading Chapter 1, yes it does.

I mean, we're introduced to this horse-doughnut in the most bland, boring way possible and we're still expected to root for him. We also know the author knows at least part of the Crash lore - I'm guessing Nathan went to the same school as his presumably-dad (hamfisted foreshadowing is truly, truly hamfisted) - but also seems really confused as to what the Evolv-O-Ray from the first game actually does. Add to that the litany of spelling and grammar errors and, well, it's beyond saving.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5931101/1/Crash-Bandicoot

First in a series of four so far.

Oh man, this hits me right in the nostalgia. I think I was exactly this ridiculous up through about 2004-2005, and I was definitely old enough to know better (but still too young to care). Sigh. Blayze, Hawky, Ori, and the rest of you lovely folks, if you're out there, I still love you and the crazy shenanigans we got up to.

I don't know what else there is to say. Thank you for making me laugh and remember some very good times. ^_^

~Neshomeh

The only fandom news I can really think of right now happens to be in the fandoms of Wolfenstein (TNO to be specific) and Camp Camp (which is also periodically offensive), hence why I call it "driving hS nuts as usual" news.

In the Wolfenstein fandom, we recently got a trailer for "Wolfenstein: The New Colossus", a sequel to Wolfenstein: The New Order. You can find the trailer and the trailer for The Old Blood (a prequel to The New Order) on the front page of the Wolfenstein wiki, link below my signature. If you're curious as to what this new strain of Wolfenstein games is about, well... just click the link. I don't feel like I'm entirely safe to describe it here.

As for Camp Camp, the Season 2 finale premiered 2 days ago, and we learned a lot of characters' backstories. I won't give the exact details in case there are any Camp Camp fans out there, but the fandom has definitely shown an increase in activity as of that episode. After the finale, there will apparently be two minor episodes before either a new season or the end of the show occurs (I don't know which.)

So! Hope y'all find my news useful. I don't have anything else to say. G'bye!

-Twistey
----
http://wolfenstein.wikia.com/wiki/Wolfenstein_Wiki

I mean, he's still an awful person, but I do feel sorry for him. He has been getting better, but he's still not a great person. (As will be seen in a future/past interlude.)

Doesn't mean he deserves all this nonsense, though.

Drinks would be quite welcome. :)

Valcentica was a trip. God, we all had so much fun with that - I'm actually really good friends with the person who played most of the worst Sues now. But yes, all of that Valcentica stuff actually happened, it was a disaster. But the fun kind of disaster, like when a cupcake factory explodes.

Glad you liked it! :D There's a lot more where that came from. Once I stopped dragging my feet on that thing the dam burst and all the ideas started happening...

This one is...well...yeah. Have fun, everyone. After this, we get into the meat of the team formation, for better or worse.

Mission Title: The Phoenix Files – Miller, S.; Miller, P.; Koster, P.; NLN, S.; Toombs, D.
Canon: Patriot Games, Don’t Say a Word, Ronin, Airborne
Rating: E
Agents: Callahan, K. [Probationary]
Time Period: January 2003
Target: Miller, S.; Miller, P.; Koster, P.; NLN, S.; Toombs, D. [Recruitment]
Word Count: 801
Source Summary: Hey, remember those old Team Phoenix recruitment mission thingamabobs from uhhh 2003? YOU BETTER NOT. BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL GONE. THIS IS THE RETCON. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

All of the fics cited don’t really exist. This one, though, is essentially me from 2001. I am so sorry, everyone.

Part Three: The Actual Worst.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12615942/1/Wildflower

Aria Breuer tells us how Aria Breuer became the Tenth Walker.

I mean, some of it's already showed up, but.

Well.

Yay! :D

I'm very glad you got that vague idea. And also that there's so much written already. Looking forward to reading more!

(Also, I'm reasonably sure I didn't comment on the latest one? Yeah, looks like I didn't. I liked it too, though. I'm a bit of a sucker for Bond stuff anyway, and when you add in both that it's a good interlude and that it's a reboot of something I discovered and rediscovered and liked both times...yeah. I like this storyline, and I'm thrilled to be seeing Valcentica-related stuff after wondering what happened in it a couple years back.)

Anyway. This is very fun to read, and having a new story pop up pretty frequently is awesome. Looking forward to whatever's next!

~Z

I'm not actually reading Blank Sprite (no particular reason, just attention span), but I feel that people who keep working on long-term projects - especially when they've left the community it was shared with - deserve thanks.

hS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11454507/10/Salazar-Harry-Malfoy

"Meanwhile With Dumblebum"

Yes, seriously. The story is marked as "Dumbles bashing" as well (though later on, in this same chapter they call him Dumbledore, so maybe it's on purpose?). By the way, Harry is actually a Malfoy, gets sorted on both Slytherin and "Gryfinndor" (which I think would make a lovely mini-Aragog) and his best friends are Hermione and Draco (who suddenly isn't racist). Let's not go over their powers, though be warned they include something called "Magic Siphoning". Please, please, spork it.

Chapter 9 of Blank Sprite is now available!

https://rc1587.wordpress.com/2017/08/26/blank-sprite-mission-record-09/

(Mind you, this chapter relies heavily on the previous one. So, if you haven't read Chapter 8 or don't remember it, giving it a re-read is advisable)