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I do find that perhaps you are lacking in complexity of your choice of words, or more accurately, in complexity of prose as a whole; for example, rather than 'He said,' you could use 'He spoke, gazing sorrowfully into my eyes.' That is but an example, but I think you will find that one can extrapolate from there.

No, I shall not reduce myself to such lowly standards of penmanship as a 'normal person.' I find that my writing skills demand better than that, thank you very much.

You use sooo many bug words n stuff! Can't u write like a normal person?!

Thanks everyone who left the nice reciews!! No I didnt write the ssong but I don't remember who did lol. HATERS CAN GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.

I was walking down HQ excited. The Sunflower offical given me my asignment, DMS! I was sad it wasn't with Nume but I would be okay with it because I could meet lots of people in HQ and he and I could always find eachother later.

So I was walking down HQ excited when I went around a corner and bumped into........

OMG CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS!!!

"CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS!!!" I screamed.

"No, I'm Jacques Bonnefoy", He said and I looked closer at him and he had long hair in a sexxy ponytail like Jacob Black but he otherwise looked just like John barrowman and I got all warm and excited seeing my favorite character.

"Oops sorry", I said blushingly. "I'm Jessaminthe Laylana Windflower Evenstar and I'm new"

"A newbie? Wow, I remember when I was new. Want me to show you around?", Jacques said so we went back to his room and had sex (omg).

After I was very happy and giggly but I felt kinda bad because Nume might be sad now. But as I went outside the room I saw.......

NUME!!!!!

He was all crying and sad because he saw me and Jacques go intogether.

"Nume I'm sorry", I said in sadly.

"I don't want to look at you!", nume shoutef an he ran off crying.

AN: So sad :( But Yay for Jacques!!

(A/N: Personally, I would say that the entire reason anyone would read stories regarding Crim'ka and Cynthia was so that they might read a romance between the two, a romance which one can clearly see if they read anything in which the two are involved. Thus, I have decided to take matters into my own hands.)
Cynthia’s left, chocolate-brown orb was temporarily obscured as she winked at Crim’ka, her partner—indeed, supposing that Cynthia was successful, the practitioner of magic most dark and foul would soon enough be her partner in multiple manners.
“Why might you be winking at me so, my dearest friend Cynthia?” Crim’ka inquired, elevating a single brow in a manner most inquisitive.
“You see, Crim’ka, I was musing over something which I have been pondering for, frankly, far too long,” Cynthia responded, the manner in which she spoke seeming to be designed to lead to a question from her partner that he might understand what she meant in greater clarity.
“And what, Cynthia, might that be?” Crim’ka questioned inquisitively.
“Well,” Cynthia replied, twirling a bit of the ebony hair whose beauty was surpassed only by the assassin herself around her finger, “I was thinking of how close we are, how long we have been partnered together, how much we enjoy one another’s company, and I thought that perhaps… we could be soul mates; that is to say, that perhaps we are meant to be.” She paused to wait for a response, expression hopeful.
Crim’ka’s visage transformed in that moment from the color of fresh snow to the color of the roses that spring up after that snow has been melted by the sun which burns in an intensity not unlike the passion the agents felt for one another at the time of which I write. He threw his arms around Cynthia in an embrace which was, as both agents knew in their innermost hearts, long overdue.
“Oh, Cynthia!” the dark mage cried happily. “I was worried that you might never ask!”
Cynthia breathed a sigh of relief before partially separating herself from her partner that she might kiss him.
“I must say,” Cynthia said between kisses, “I did not expect, joining this organization, that I would find love with a character in a fanfiction of one of my favorite games.”
Crim’ka merely smiled and said, “Ah, Cynthia, truly, the most benevolent aspects of our reality arise in the strangest of circumstances.”
A bit more accurately, he started to say this; you see, dear reader, Crim’ka was interrupted partway through the last word in his sentence by his darling Cynthia kissing him once more, resulting in a muffling of his speech. Crim’ka, however, was not particularly offended regarding this particular fact. He was much too busy with the nigh-intoxicating pleasure and catharsis of finally kissing his beloved.
(A/N: Thoughts on the narrative I have authored? I was pondering if perchance the language is not sufficiently-sophisticated...)

...Yeah, then we have a problem.

I mean, it's fantasy, so there's always the argument of moral dissonance between our world and theirs, but rape has been, even historically, considered a fairly serious crime in the vast majority of cultures from what I recall (although some allowed for mitigating circumstances of various sorts in which it would be allowed, again IIRC). But if we're talking Church Knights, warrior monks, in a church order that is clearly not!Catholicism, that sort of morality is just weird. I mean, that's the sort of thing not!Catholics should probably object to.

If you're going to make everyone fine with this sort of thing, you should have a reason why they are. And you have to consider what that says about the world, and how that connects to your worldbuilding.

Playing with moral dissonance between the world and the reader is fun (again, 40k player here: this opinion shouldn't surprise you), but even if no character ever lampshades the weird morals or tries to change them (because if we only ever told that story, it would be really boring) there needs to be a reason for that morality.

Also, there's no point in having a sympathetic-but-immoral character whose morality is never discussed or even considered. It's boring, and more than a little weird.

Your sympathetic!=moral point definitely holds for, say, Althalus (the fact that the book is entitled The Redemption of Althalus says what it thinks about his initial moral state). But in the Elenium, the protagonist and most of his chums are Church Knights - literally warrior monks. (This is also the only series I've read where they spend half a book trying to ensure the right guy gets elected pope; it's an odd series.) I think my problem is that everyone is super fine with the whole rape and murder thing. The literal knight in shining armour? Fine with it. The idealistic young queen? Fine with it. The eventual fantasy Pope? Absolutely fine with it.

Literally the only people who suggest that being a criminal might be considered a bad thing are the criminals themselves.

hS

I too am sad about The Great God Pterry's Mighty Mass Storage Device. However, if you're going to do it, a steamroller is the right way to go.

As for portraying crime as bad, I've never read Eddings's books. So I have no idea what I'm talking about. With that disclaimer out of the way...

Sympathetic!=moral. And honestly, I don't think it should. The question is whether the narrative portrays their actions as unambiguously good. If the narrative doesn't, or doesn't pass judgement on the characters, than it can be quite interesting.

But then, I myself have a soft spot for sympathetic characters with... different morals, or who are just outright awful to a greater or lesser extent. This really shouldn't surprise any of you, because I play 40k, and Sons at that.

-Thoth (grumbling in response to your grumble with my grumble)

*takes out Jellybaby shotgun*
{*Summons greater Daemon of fluff*}

-Thoth (and Thoth!)

I don't think there was any book series that impacted my childhood quite as much as this one.

Lumos

That's amazing! It might be the first step to curing not just cancer, but who knows what else? Exciting stuff.

Sad to hear that about Sir PTerry's hard drive, but understandable. I wouldn't want anything of mine being published that I hadn't signed off on, either.

With effusive apologies for failing at this last week. Hopefully I'm back on the ball from here on out.

Please remember that, when it comes to the state of the world, not everyone will agree with you. You're free to state, discuss, and defend your viewpoint (provided it does not violate the Constitution), but please don't use that fact to attack others.

Fandom News


(Link)

Force Friday II is upon us, and myriad Star Wars toys will be flooding into shops near you (and then flooding straight back out again, like as not). Here's hoping they've increased the number of BB-8 toys, and actually bothered to ship some for Rey...

But forget the action figures. The only toy really worth having is the one shown above: the Lenovo Star Wars: Jedi Challenges Augmented Reality system. Let's not mince words: it lets you have a holographic lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren in your living room, which is all you've ever really wanted in life. It's a mere(!) $200, and available for pre-order now.

Silly News


(Link)

In a crushing blow to the hearts of fans everywhere, the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett's hard drive has been run over by a steamroller - in accordance with his will. He said that he didn't want any of his unfinished works being published, and so Rob had it smashed at a steam fair in Dorset. Apparently it contained 'up to ten incomplete novels', though on the positive side, Pterry's normal work ethic was to finish one book before he started writing the next, so these were probably mostly just notes. I hope. :(

Serious News


(Link)

In a world first, a new cancer therapy where the patient's immune cells are extracted, genetically altered, and put back in as anti-cancer agents has been approved by the USA. Reports are claiming 80+% effectiveness against a specific type of leukaemia. Sadly, it's not so good against more solid tumours (leukaemia is blood cancer), and as with all cancer drugs it can have serious side-effects... but, to my mind, this is the first step towards the disease-killing nanobots scifi has long been promising. Even if these ones are - ugh - biological.

Not News



Fairly arbitrarily, I want to talk about David Eddings. I admit I love his (or their, rather - from all accounts, Leigh was co-author for every Eddings book) novels; I own the entire Belgariad+Malloreon, the Elenium+Tamuli, and the Redemption of Althalus. While his characters are mostly able to be described by a few words each, they do tend to be different words. Even his female characters (we all know male fantasy writers are terrible at them, pun on 'male fantasy' probably intended) aren't all the same - Polgara and Ce'Nedra are very different, and don't line up with Sephrenia, Ehlana, and Aphrael. (Sure, they're filling the same roles, but Sephrenia and Polgara have very different methods of playing guide, for instance.) So that's all good.

But... he really loves his 'lovable criminals'. You've got Platime and Stragen in the Elenium, Silk in the Belgariad, and, uh, Althalus, of course. And that's starting to feel like a problem, because what he doesn't love is portraying crime as bad.

That's okay (to an extent) when it's Althalus, who - possibly in response to criticisms, I don't know - goes out of his way not to kill people. Yes, he bonks them over the head and steals all their stuff, but that's less jarring (and he gets his comeuppance anyway). Silk is (spoilers, I guess?) more of a spy than a thief, so when he does crime, you know it's in pursuit of a larger goal.

But then you get the criminals of the Elenium - which I'm rereading at the moment, which brought this on - and they're... disturbing. The first conversation between criminal overlord Platime and Ehlana, Queen of Elenia is typical of this: Ehlana asks him if he's ever cut anyone's throat, and he says something to the effect of 'Oh, yes - it's a good way to find out what's in their purse, and I've always been very interested in that'. And Ehlana laughs it off.

Haha, this sympathetic character kills innocent people for their money. What frivolity. Sort of like the frivolity when the barbarian horseman Kring laments that he won't be able to rape any women if he joins up with the army rather than just raiding with his clan. Because rape is hilarious, right?

I think the problem I'm having is that Eddings is perfectly happy to admit that crime happens, but steadfastly refuses (especially in the Elenium) to acknowledge its consequences. I can accept a world like Middle-earth where there's no real crime to speak of (other than Bill Ferny swindling the hobbits over a horse). I can accept a world where criminals are bad people, or make bad choices, or are stuck in bad situations. But I'm having increasing difficulty with this one, where being a murdering pimp is viewed as absolutely fine so long as you're charming about it.

hS, grumpy grumble I guess?

{How do we figure out which one is the real Thoth? In fact, can we even call one real? They're both using the same name! The only difference is in the brackets, and} that's just an affectation {anyway.}

{... oh, wait. Solution! We tag along with Neshomeh and unleash the nonsense indiscriminately. It's foolproof!}

{Now, where did I put those chat archives? [Digs through the logs; pulls out hS and Kaitlyn's marshmallow guns from early '04; starts pelting the Thoths with Bertie Bottt's Every Flavour Marshmallows] It's amazing what mini-Aragogs do with their time. Want a gun, Jenni? ~Lou}

Soooo your'e like a gril falling into Muddle-earth only BAWCKARDS???! I LOBE IT!!!!! aslo I realyy like that snog your'e singinging, did yoy wright it your'eself?!?!?!

~JayBird~

yur story sucks. it's bland and boring. its all jusr stupid romantic garbage. i think you shouls fo to hell becauae i heard there's a writinf class there. where you could learn to write better. like me. i am a really good writer like you aren't.

Also, since I guess you can't get onto my website, you might be interested in a link to Fandom Protection Fleet: Far Far Away, my Star Wars-themed AU PPC fic.

As to the news... I have no reaction? I've never played a Wolfenstein game and I don't even know what a Camp Camp is. But I'm pleased you posted some?

hS

Craim an edraith ammen! Craim dan i ngûl!

[Streams of pancakes fly at Twistey]

("Cakes for the saving of us! Cakes against the sorcery!" Yep, we're back to misquoting Gandalf.)

(Also I enjoyed The Force Awakens. But hating a) everything new and b) Disney is the epitome of early-aughts behaviour, and it fed delightfully into the Gandalfing. Anyway, back to the pancakes.)

hS

(Your computer blocks a lot of stuff, dun't it? 2015 Canterbury Gathering by way of GDocs.)

AN: Hiiii all my lovely readers! I was missing out on Numey goodness so I decided it was time for another fic! I kinda have some ideas of what I want 2 do with this but nothing solid yet so I'll be asking you for ideas! ENJOY!

My name is Jessaminthe Layla Windflower Evenstar. I'm Arwen's sister and Elron'ds daughter and the princess of Rivendell.

one day I was walking by the river singing to myself.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb"

I was ready to torhw my self into the river and drown. My father Elrond wanted me to marry Aragorn! Aragon was nice I guess but Aewen loved him more so I couldnt marry him and do that to her!!!!1 So I was walking by near the river to singing to myself. I was so sad and mad I didn't know what to do.

"Without a soul My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead it back Home"

Suddenly...........

I was falling!!!!!!!

I WAS FALLING THROUGH A HOLE IN THE GROUND!

"AAAAAA" I screamed!

I covered my eyes as I fell!

And suddenly.....

WHUMP!!!

I was caught!!!!!!

I opened my eyes and felt my heart race! I was caught by the most handsome man I've ever seen!! He had glasses and gelled black hair, and his glasses had a red rim to them (I know they're green but red is just cooler) and he was smirking crooked at me. He looked like Andrew Garfield mixed with Chris Hemsworth and he was sooo hot. Like Edward Cullen or something. Yum.

"T-t-t-t-hank y-y-you f-f-or s-s-s-s-saving me", I stammered.

"Hey it was no problem", He said still smirking at me. "What's your name?"

"Jessaminthe Layla Windflower Evenstar", I said "But everyone calls me Jessa Or Jess".

"Jess is a beautiful name for a beautiful elf", The Man said, setting me down and kissing my hand(!) What a gengleman! :D "My name is Supernumberary and I'm an agent of the PPC"

I gasped.

AN: So what do you think? PLZ R&R! Next chappie she's going to meet someone else and then we'll start with the love triangle but we all know she'll end up with Nume in the end, lolol. Until next time! <3

I was there that last day. At the launch for DH. I remember by brother locking himself in his room to read it. I remember seeing the films for the first time. I remember it all.

I remember the books that taught me about reading. Not the numbers and letters and words, no: about why it was all *worth it*. About how reading could take you to worlds beyond this one.

Thank you, Harry. You changed my life. I don't know where I'd be without you.

Aside from one of my own shed feathers, have a replica of Rose Quartz's sword and a working Flask Robonoid!

*wipes tears*

*mic feedback*

Testing, testing... there we go!

Well, look at the time! September is finally here, and you know what that means!

That's right! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages (well, maybe not all ages. Preteens and up?), it is time for the annual re-opening of Fanfic World! The PPC is in dire need of more fanfic to be written about it—so go wild and have fun!

((The following has been mercilessly cribbed from hS' post last year.))

What is this? This is the thread where we let our inner badfic writers have free rein. All PPC stories are technically fanfics of the Original Series - but they're all goodfics. That's clearly unreasonable - most fanfic of anything is terrible. So this is your chance to write the baddest of the badfics. Go nuts!

Who can I write about? Any agents in the PPC are open for you to mutilate. There's a Creativity Shield around ffW, so everything here is emphatically uncanon. The only exceptions are agents of people who have left the PPC, and, if someone asks in this thread that their agents not be used, please honour that.

Where do I post? In this thread, please. I don't know if anyone will be archiving the games this time 'round—I'd do it myself, but I don't have the know-how.

What name should I post under? You should come up with the badficauthorest name you can, of course! Take a look at some of our previous examples.

What sort of story should I write? A bad one! Obviously. But also one that's fun to read. Illegible ultra-typo stories are a bit boring after the first one, y'know?

Can I leave reviews? Emphatically yes - that's half the fun of the game! But do remember to leave them in character - and equally, remember that the flames you receive are not real flames. They're a game. Don't get upset.

Do I need a beta? Hahahahahahahaha. Don't be ridiculous. ^-^ What sort of badfic writer has a beta?

Do I need Permission? Again, what sort of badfic writer asks permission? (No. No you don't.)

Why are we doing this? Because it's fun!