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Queen of His Heart > by Ghostwriter85 reviews
Lucy goes back; not to Narnia, but to where Thorin and the others are; along with two friends after being gone for a long time. Will Thorin have her back?And what secret is one friend carrying? I got this idea off a you tube video. K plus because of one particular chapter, but even then I toned it down.
Crossover - Chronicles of Narnia & Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,518 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 18 - Updated: Apr 18, 2014 - Published: Mar 26, 2014 - Complete

By the way, what are pregnant mares like, and what side effects do they experience?

She tightened it so much, in fact, that the halberd snapped, becoming a sort of shiny pink stuff that reabsorbed back into her body. Stepping forward, unhindered by the sticky goo, the Hostess picked up Spanky's escape mirror, stepped out of the ring of sludge, placed it face-up on the balcony, and proceeded to stomp on it in her heels until it was very well shattered. After that, she raised her hands and spoke in that sibilant language - a swirly white thing appeared and the shards also lifted. They then coalesced and exploded outwards, peppering everyone on the balcony (Hostess included) with tiny bits of glass. Thankfully, all of them missed people's eyes.

After she was done obliterating that mirror, she turned back to the circle of sludge, waved her right hand, and - oh, look, the sludge is gone, leaving a plain balcony in its wake, save for the boots partially sunk into the flooring where Spanky had been forced to abandon them. No symbol this time, just more strange eye stuff.

Then, without answering Sapphire's questions, she stalked over to the door Spanky had appropriated and began to mess with it, muttering all the while.

Short, simple story, but it was fun. You managed to squeeze a decent amount of scene setting into the SG-1 scene, considering how short it was. I'm also amused that in interacting with three separate characters, Kitty is always the manic one of the pair.

I can't wait to see how Doctor Fitzgerald and the rest of Medical reacts to Kitty continuously jamming more characters into the room . . .

—doctorlit, breakfasting

Sorry, I kind of stopped reading new material at some point a couple years back, trying to plow through archiving all the PPC and OFUs. But it's gotten to the point where I never had time to do much anyway, and my own spin-off has fallen behind by years, so I'm trying to slow down and get back into reading and writing again. Sorry for missing stuff . . .

—doctorlit

What is wrong there? I became slightly confused when I read it, but then I thought it might be a legitimate use of "down" as a verb.

HG

Remember that each civilization gets two unique techs (one of which comes in the Castle Age as of the HD remasters), and whatever they are they affect the Van Guard. So, for instance, the Van Guard are affected by the Malian's +5 attack bonus to cavalry from Farimba, the Aztec's +4 bonus to infantry from Garland Wars, the +20 HP from the Turks' Sipahi, the enormous boost to production speed from the Ethiopians' Royal Heirs, the stacked-up area-of-effect damage from the Byzantines, Slavs, and Celts... the list goes on. They have a pretty excellent tech tree and do scarily well in the lategame, using their very fast Van Guard (recall that their movement speed gets boosted by 33% and for heavy infantry it's already really fast) to spearhead attacks while backing them up with a lot of upgrades. In any event, my point with making the Scholars' Empire was to make a civ that was far stronger as an ally than on its own, because when there's nobody left but them, they crumble and fall.

On the Bronee: that's the Huns. That's basically the Huns. Probably with a similar cavalry-related unique tech to Perfusion from the Goths, but still: it's basically the Huns. Maybe with some bonuses cribbed from the Lakota in AoE3.

On Plort: I designed them around being a cavalry archer Civ because, well, cavalry archer Civs are hella fun to play and there aren't any that do melee damage. Additionally, it's very hard to do actual stealth in AoE, so I built it around having an excellent Castle Age to provide mid-game pressure through raiding - and you can't deny that raiding is something that we do a lot in Plort. Plortish units are very easy to mass up, particularly with the increased production speed from their team bonus, which gives them an excellent knight rush and Marizu Hunter rush.

On the Marizu: Yes, there's conversion, but having it be near-instantaneous would be monstrously overpowered. Monks and monk-style units are already very strong (the Aztecs, for instance, have a notorious monk rush) because they can convert, with the requisite upgrades, all units and even buildings. I mean, a conversion speed upgrade isn't out of the question, and a civ bonus that let Villagers be affected by Monastery upgrades would also work, but I'm always slightly wary of boosting monks any more. I was working on a design involving concentrating your force into what essentially was a massively expensive unit that had literally every single unit armour class in the game, was affected by all upgrades, had great base stats, and trained quickly. They'd be difficult to fight one on one, a nightmare en masse, and take massive bonus damage from, for instance, pikemen and halberdiers - a common trash unit that the Marizu would not even slightly care about because they don't cost gold, they must be useless, how can some smelly guy with a stick possibly hurt me?

But yeah, thanks for your thoughts! It's given me quite a bit to think about. =]

Draco is not smooth with the ladies. He is from the lineage of sandpapers, who married into the oldest and noblest families of sharkskin, whose legendary ancestors had been hailed as the best whetstones in the universe, and he had received solid gold medals for the Most Abrasive Stone Polisher of The Year. That is how 'smooth' he is.

I will comment some more later.

Man, my mistake is more embarrassing.

If you see any new problem in my fuc, do not hesitate to critique it, in the comments section or here. I hope to write an original novel soon, which is hy I am a bit serious of this fanfic. Perhaps I should write some short fics for fun.

The nail polish thing is that Dawn generally wears sparkly nail polish. Almost all the time. The interlude, however, is set shortly after Des got stuck in that suit of cybernetic armor, and she's not... completely happy or used to it yet. Des is also very unhappy at that point, which is adding to Dawn's unhappiness, and essentially her friends notice the lack of something she usually always wears and get a little worried.

~Z

And can't wait for Boromir!

~Z, who needs to run off to class very soon

Since I don't have the time, talent, or motivation to put work into getting Permission, and I've been pretty bored for the last week or so, I decided I might as well go back to one of my favorite genres of fic-sporking from when I first got into the PPC. Namely- MSTing.

I now present to you the exploits of Kitty and Ruby as they mock a Sue's tragic lack of Heelies, get pedantic about capitalization of proper nouns, and butcher Shakespeare in their attempt to survive "The Slytherin Princess".

Wow, this got a lot longer than expected. Enjoy!

-Kitty

"Uh... so... what the hell was that all about?" they asked, slowly flapping down from the safe vantage point they had taken. "Cal, um... your eyes were, for lack of a better description, swirly. Would you mind explaining?"

Oops, I didn't check my message thoroughly enough.

Sorry for taking so long, I have been very busy. Yoir writing improved quite bit. I like the pacing, it's got a nice sort of continuous flow. The setting seems to be well defined without being too bogged down. All in all, a decent fanfic in my opinion, nothing fancy, but solid and enjoyable. Of course, there would always be stuff to improve, but try not to sweat it too much, it's just for fun after all.

Here's a tote bag with your Overwatch main!

Baby Elf, Ent-queen
This mission had a few little details that I really liked. Firstly, you guys did a good job of continuously reminding the reader of the disguises the agents were wearing at any given time. This is especially important for me, as I have a tendency to keep reverting agents back to their normal appearance in my mental image of the story. (Which gets especially silly with Zeb; no need for blue ion lions wandering around in Middle-earth!) I also like the detail of having the notepad, writing utensil and weapon change forms between the Orc and Elf disguises.

I also really liked every time Agent Dawn started sharing things about Arda. I'm far from being a Tolkien expert myself, so I found all the knowledge and facts shared here interesting and informative. The details about Elvish names at the end I found particularly fun.

The absolute best thing about this mission is the assassination fake-out. There's not a single thing in the whole rest of the mission that made me think anything but a standard assassination was coming, which makes the surprise all the more wonderful and funny. Even better than subverting the usual violent moment, you guys even turn it into an opportunity for some genuine cuteness, which helps to keep the three agents distracted from the awkwardness of their personal situation. It's just a creative and fun twist, overall; well done, guys!

Happy Error List Time! You may have already fixed some of these, 'cause I pulled this mission up on my phone days ago and only got to read it yesterday at lunch. Anyway:

"When it did down, a pair of fair-haired Elves were standing in their places."

"The Sue stumbled to her little feet and promptly fell over, tripped by her the giant green dress . . ."

"The child thought about it, leaning her head against Dawn arm and frowning."
(Did a bottle of Dawn detergent just grow an arm?)

Also, this may have been intentional just to make that ending scene less complicated, but Gwilithiel switched from being in Zeb's RC at the start of the mission, to being back in Dawn's at the end. I haven't read any Pern yet; I do know fire-lizards are pretty dang intelligent, but would it be able to get back into Dawn's RC on its own? I don't think the Aviator knows where Dawn lives to help it . . .

Anyway, off to read the interlude . . .
/reads interlude

Meeting the Exes
Oh. Looks like fire-lizards can teleport. Ignore that last comment in the previous section, then . . .

I enjoyed this mainly because it was almost a study in character interaction. Exposing Zeb to new and unfamiliar personalities makes for all kinds of fun and unique dialogue interactions. It just goes to show the wide variety of characters in Headquarters, and helps to make HQ feel like the bustling, populated place it ostensibly is. Nothing majorly fancy or plot-changing happened, but I like it just for how down-to-earth and realistically conversational it is.

The one thing here I didn't get was the two separate references to Dawn not wearing nail polish. It's been a while since I read other Dawn stories, so sorry if I'm forgetting something already mentioned, but is the significance of her having plain fingernails?

—doctorlit, always plain-nailed

Please have a pot of black-hole coffee. Welcome here, hope you'll like the madhouse.

Or late birthday depending on what time zone you're in!

I don't believe we met the first time you showed up. Tell me about your fandoms, niche interests, all-consuming passions...

Also, here's a pair of fuzzy blue socks, because why not!

Have a plate of fresh SPaGhetti!

Your English certainly seems pretty excellent to me. Had you not said, I would've assumed you were a native speaker. =]

It's been a very long time since I've played AoEII, so I don't remember the details, but even if I'd never played it, I'd know you'd missed a perfect opportunity:

The Bronee. How close is it possible to get to a pure-cavalry nation of nomads with a tendency to fanaticism? 'Nomadic' might be the most difficult part... faster-moving resource gatherers? I'unno.

Also: the Marizu. Is conversion a thing in AoE? If so, I'm imagining a ridiculously specialised nation with near-free, near-instant conversion that has little choice but to build its armies by stealing the enemy's.

~

All right, I've gone this far, I'll take a look at what you wrote, too. ;)

Plort: I can sort of see the rapid-research angle, and I love the melee-damaging archer (it's the sort of unconventional thing we'd do), but I don't know why you've gone for cavalry? Excepting the herd at Kwenaya, we've never had a particular focus on horses. Rather, drawing on the PPC ethos, I'd imagine Plort being about stealth, rather than speed.

Equally, I'm confused by the lack of a navy. We're... it's an island civilisation. It lives by sending fleets to harry the Marizu coast. What led you to the idea of a naval-poor nation?

The S.E.: The standout feature of the Scholars is their amazing teamwork. But... while, as you say, everyone wants them on their team... does anyone actually want to be them? Their team bonus, in particular, seems like a slap in the face for the Scholar player: 'thanks for boosting /my/ army... I guess when we get to the Imperial Age you can have my unique tech for your mediocre Guards'. Which is decent, provided a) you've got the right allies, and b) you only want to use that single unit.

hS