The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Name: Tom Booker

Age: 26

Species: Human

Description: A pudgy, speccy little sad-sack with more pimples than friends and very, very clear skin, at least in his words. However, he's not actually that terrible, just overweight and with the unfortunate lack-of-hairstyle common to people for whom hair is just something that gets in the way. Yes, he's overweight and views exercise the same way other people look at a plague bacillus, wears big thick NHS glasses held together mostly with hope, and has a wispy, irritating beard and moustache dyed orange from his crippling addiction to Wotsits, but he's not a bad person. Just a singularly unprepossessing one. He looks like he'd be the sort of person who'd get very into men's rights activism, only he's at least vaguely acquainted with the concept of basic human decency. Tom is generally found in tracksuit bottoms and a Star Wars fandom tee in many shades of mysterious-food-stain-on-black, and writes terrible fanfiction centred on his OC as a means of escape from his job as a from-home data entry schlub.

He's sculpted this OC like Pygmalion did Galataea, drawing on his knowledge of the Star Wars continuum and his History degree to form a wonderful character. One he has, if he's being honest with himself, fallen in love with a bit. Actually, a lot. I mean, she's taken vows of chastity, he's actually a real person, but if they were both around he's sure it could work. So what if the other characters in the fic are drawn in strokes so broad they resemble a twelve-lane Autobahn? She's the important one.

He's commissioned fanart of her as well, standing proud in her medieval attire, lightsabre in hand, champagne-furred ears poking out from a cascade of golden hair. He has that picture above his bed, as a reminder that there's still creativity left in him, and in the world. Tom really does love her...

His Esclarmonde.

Lust Object: Sylvar, Esclarmonde

Light/Dark Side: Light side, obviously.

That'll be very interesting, having an actual adult mixed in with the generally-teenage fanwriters. Also, oh Shannon, never rely on your memories. Ever. Never works well.

Anyway, thanks again! I shall add them to my fanwriter list.

-Alleb

He's not even a fan. He is literally just a normal dude, with only the passing knowledge of Star Wars that everyone has, and he's been dumped into an OFU. This is perfect.

-Alleb

Badficcers are just that--fictional versions of the badficcers we used to be/theoretical badficcers.

Although, if you wanted to have fun with it, you could say Twizzy basically inserted that physical description into the "race" section on her application and thus is, in fact, a wide-eyed ten year old in Teyori's body.

If you don't think your friend will mind, feel free to make a badficcer for them. Banter is always good!

-Alleb

Name: Esclarmonde d'Occitanie

Age: 21

Species: French-Cathar

Description: The daughter of a Cathar Jedi and a temporo-spatially displaced heir to the county of Foix, Esclarmonde has blonde hair down to her mid-back, hazel eyes, and a frankly unfortunate dress sense, in that she favours gowns of a decidedly medieval cut which do not entirely lend themselves to running about doing Jedi-ish things. They don't go with her very pale champagne fur either, but that hasn't stopped her yet. Despite the presence at her side of the technological wonder that is a lightsabre, she has taken vows of humility before the eyes of her father's God, owning very little else save the clothes on her back and the barest minimum she needs to exist. She drills relentlessly in an adulterated version of classical Shien that also pulls techniques from her father's training in High European longsword fencing (something she calls the Way of the Falling Dove), but only when she is not in prayer to God or meditating upon the Force. She eats little, sleeps less, and considers herself utterly dedicated to the life of a Jedi.

If only she knew she was the product of a pun based on an obscure religious sect from medieval Carcassonne.

Lust Object (if applicable): N/A

Light Side/Dark Side: Light side.

Notes: Esclarmonde (do not shorten it) is, despite her professions of piety, an inveterate snob, largely ignoring the plight of the people in order to focus on moral and theological problems as well as continue to master her lightsabre. She is, according to medieval notions of morality, a good and decent person; by our standards, she's a Bible-thumping martinet so far up her own backside she practically walks by somersault.

Name: Charlie Johnson

Age: 20

Species: I mean, I'm pretty sure it's just humans

Description: Brown haired and stocky, mostly due to a history of wrestling and weightlifting. Basically, functional muscles as opposed to aesthetic muscles.

Lust Object (if applicable): Er... what

Light Side/Dark Side: Light, I guess

Notes: He doesn't even write fanfiction, nor is that big of a fan of Star Wars. In fact, the fanfiction attributed to him is actually made by his little sister, he just uploads the stuff.

I personally can't spork this story since I don't have permission yet, but I'm glad you're interested in having an old story sporked! Why? Well, part of why I'm replying to you is because I also have written badfic in past times, and once I have a Wattpad account, I'll post up the badfics for sporking. And maybe let people spork them multiple times, or MST them - basically they'll be perpetual writing practice exercises. But anyway, since your post hasn't really been getting responses, I just want to acknowledge your Suefic's existence. Maybe you should put it on the Unclaimed Badfic page to give it more attention. I'm not the most sure how it all works, so maybe ask an older-than-me-bie.

-Twistey

The badfic personas are supposed to be sonas, not the actual writer. Hmm, let me see.

Name: Teyori Visalia

Age: 13

Description: Teyori is a Padawan-turned-Sith-apprentice who is skilled in dark side powers, mostly because she likes using them better than her lightsaber. She is capable of Force lighting from training with her mentor, Darth Sidious, and often plays with it a little in order to take advantage of the appearance-tweaking abilities it supposedly has on herself and her enemies. (No, Twizzy, that's not the conclusion you should be drawing from the incident with The Emperor getting his lightning deflected back at him.) As such, the culmination of all the non-canon lightning is her ghostly pale skin, skeletal-looking face, impressive height, shoulder-length black hair hanging over the left eye, and sunken-in red catlike eyes. Her usual attire is the standard black Sith robes, usually with the hood up, with a black tunic, pants, and boots underneath. She speaks with a slight British accent and suppresses outward signs of her emotions unless in combat, in which the full extent of her rage and maniacal happiness are presented.

Lust object: None.

Light Side/Dark Side: Dark side, but isn't actually likely to actually kill anyone or do any real damage. She just scares people more than anything else.

Notes: None, I think.

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Question: Am I allowed to add in another character based on an IRL friend of mine as she was during the time I would write these sorts of characters? I don't know if I can get her permission, but I kind of want the two to have some nice long banter sessions.

-Twistey

Here, have a light-up plastic Spear of Destiny and some 3D-printed action figures. Because imaginary Wolfenstein 3D fan merch is what I do.

-Twistey

I'm going to send in the kid I was when I wrote SW badfic. Now the Board gets to learn that I've always been as messed up as I am now! Huzzah!

...actually, I was less messed up back then.

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Name: Twistey

Age: Around 10 or so

Description: Twistey is really really really into Star Wars, and puts references to it into everything she does, but is not a stickler for canon details. Minecraft comes in a close second. Rather than doing anything with the Star Wars canon, Twistey is oft to write fics that have premises centered around the Force and other Star Wars things existing in real life or in Minecraft, fics that star a self-insert protagonist and sometimes friend-inserts too. Her writing is safe for work and for the brain, but it will just plain not make sense, 100% guaranteed. She has a huge, inexplicable obsession with villains in general, resulting in a kind of "deadly innocence" that prevents her from understanding the real consequences of the dark side and other things. Luckily, she doesn't post her work on the Internet, not having discovered fanfiction sites, or even the term fanfiction, yet.

Lust Object (if applicable): None! However, she does idolize Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious as a mentor figure.

Light Side/Dark Side: I don't think even she knows. On one hand, she considers herself to be a follower of the Sith creed (but in reality is even more of a wannabe than Kylo Ren), but on the other hand, the protagonists of her fics were either Jedi or fighting against a "dark side" of something.

Notes: If you want to, you can make "Twizzy logic" a running joke when writing her. It's probably good that you refer to her as "Twizzy" or "Twizz" or some other nickname, in order to distinguish her from the present-day version, which is me. Also, the "deadly innocence" thing is just about fictitious villains. I hadn't learned the worst yet.

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My brain is kind of fried right now so I'm having trouble thinking of more things to say about little Twizz. Let me know if you have any more questions or suggestions for things to put down.

-Twistey

Yeah, I was wondering if a PPCer could do stuff with their characters before getting permission if the characters aren't agents yet and aren't sporking. I needed the info because I'm in the middle of an over-text RP with an IRL friend in which I play an alternate version one of my pre-agents (and by alternate version I mean a version in which she doesn't even know that the PPC exists), to help me get a good first draft of her personality. A first draft. The RP has become incredibly weird, so I'm pretty sure she won't act as an agent like she does as a weirdly RP'd civilian.

Anyway, I'm bookmarking your MST so I can read it later and laugh with your characters at the badfic. MSTs are one of my favorite things in the world. Hooray!

-Twistey

Name: Tango Dioxide

Age: Exactly as old as Star Wars itself. She'd rather not think about how old that is. (She's 40.)

Description: Human. Redhead - I mean red, not ginger. PPC agent. Her handful of scars aren't from missions, though - they're from spending most of a decade on the run.

Lust Object: Well, she's married (to Steve, he's a bit wet), but... well, she had a bit of a Thing for Luke Skywalker back in the day. (Though he's too young for her now, obviously.)

Alignment: Grey. When she and Blue discovered the Mary-Sue Factory, he spent the next year in jail for trying to speak out; Tango accepted reassignment and kept her mouth shut.

Notes: Tango is applying because her partner, Nyx, lived in the Star Wars 'verse on and off for seven years, and Tango is fed up of being the less knowledgeable one.

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Name: Sha-Non Smi'ith

Age: Ten thousand and seventeen. Or just seventeen.

Description: Jediiiii~! kk so Sha-Non was this super talented Jedi trainee ten thousand years ago but then she was FROZEN IN CARBONITE ten thousand years ago and only woken up, like, last week. Or at least that's what she tells anybody; it may just be an excuse to use bad(e) old(e) English(e), or do we mean Basic(e)?

Also she's a dog-girl, which is like a catgirl but for dogs instead. (I believe there are several species of these around Star Wars, but she doesn't know that.)

Lust Object: Rey and Jyn Erso, though there is a distinct possibility that she doesn't realise they're actually different people.

Alignment: Liiiiight~!

Notes: She has a lightsaber. It is pink. That should tell you everything you need to know about her.

---

I think I got a bit tangled between 'badfic writer' and 'self-insert' there. In reality, her name is Shannon Smith (... yup), and she's a seventeen-year-old dog-loving Canadian who writes prolifically and without reference to anything except her own memories of the films.

hS

He says you will be spared of his wrath.

(He's also human, btw, forgot to mention. Black hair and gold eyes. Or brown hair and green eyes, if you asked his mommy.)

Thank you! Tay-Adi is on the list!

-Alleb

Please mention what alien race your badficcer would choose, if any.

-Alleb

Name: Tay-Adi
Age: 16
Description: Male, six feet tall, totally ripped. Totally bad@$$ Light Side Jedi who still sometimes indulges in a little Force Lightning, but only on people who deserve it. He's so very conflicted and Dark, but not evil, yanno?

In reality: he's quite scrawny and timid and couldn't throw a punch without breaking his hand. He's all bark and no bite.

I can't wait to see your created badficcer; this should be fun!

-Alleb

I'd love to craft a badficcer (>:D), but I've also got at least one PPC agent who could use a refresher course (/an excuse to be nosey and go poke around the Secondary Location).

hS

There were at least four PPC agents in OFUDisc's first year, for instance. But they still get gratuitously tortured, naturally.

hS

I'm not sure if there's any official rule about it, but the main obstacle would be the fact that fanwriters don't know about the OFUs until they actually receive the invitation to register. I suppose you could explain it as someone who has connections with the PPC voluntarily submitting an application; if you want to make a fanwriter like that, I'd have no objections.

-Alleb

But do OFUs also take 'volunteer' students? I mean people who may consider begin writing fanfic, or writing fics good enough already, but want to get better at this? And of course want the oportunity to visit their favorite world.

I mean, why only badficcers would get the chance to go to Minas Tirith, Gallifrey, Hogwarts, an so many other places?

The ISD Refiner was almost ready for her new crew: their quarters were prepared, the hangars stood clean and silent for their imminent arrival, the hold was full of consumables. Even the mess halls had fresh coats of paint. The entirety of the ship seemed to wait with bated breath, every detail in place, every hallway swept and gleaming.

Yes, the ISD Refiner was almost ready.

The same could not be said of its occupants.

“For the last time, boy, stop following me!” Darth Vader hissed, one hand on his lightsaber, the other pointed squarely at the mask of his grandchild.

“But—but Grandfather,” Kylo Ren said, edging forward slightly, trying—for the third time that hour—to proffer his own lightsaber, “Uncle Luke said you would sign it for me.”

“He lied,” the dark lord said. His finger shifted targets, moving from the erstwhile Solo child to the uniformed figure that had just walked onto the bridge. “You,” Vader said, his voice well into what any Imperial officer knew as “the death zone.” “I demand you return me to the SWFFA grounds immediately. They know how to treat a Lord of the Sith.” His grip on his lightsaber tightened, the leather of his glove creaking.

“Yep, nope, ain’t happening,” the figure said, her flippant tone contrasting sharply with the neat lines of her white uniform. “Lord Haven and SWFFA are going to be under repairs for quite a while yet. Until then, you and everyone else are stuck in here with me.” She grinned with far too much impudence for someone facing an irate Darth Vader. “Besides, this place will be filled to the gills with shrill, annoying fanwriters by this time tomorrow. You’ll have plenty of ways to vent your anger then.” She sat down in the command chair, ignoring Vader’s hiss of frustration as she scanned the datapad mounted on the arm. “Admiral Piett,” she asked, glancing to the side.

The admiral had been doing his best to become one with the background, but now, most unwillingly, stepped forward. “Yes, er, Tai’shar?” he asked, stumbling over the odd name.

“Coordinator Tai’shar, please,” she said. “At least until I find a better title. I don’t want the fanwriters getting into bad habits. Speaking of, send me that updated list of badficcers, if you would. I want to look over our new… recruits.”

“Aye, Coordinator,” Piett said, turning to his own datapad and tapping it a few times. “List sent.” He stepped back once more, doing his best to avoid any further attention.

“Thank you, Admiral.” Resting her chin on her hand, Tai’shar paged through the list, mentally tuning out the background noise of Kylo Ren’s next attempt at gaining Vader’s signature. It was the usual mix of plausible names, heartily implausible names, and rip-offs of canon characters. She determined, there and then, that every third fanwriter with numbers in their name would be immediately re-assigned to trash compactor cleaning duty, a duty she had, there and then, made up.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still scanning the list. “This,” she said, over the sound of Darth Vader’s lightsaber activating, “is going to be interesting.”

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In other words, badficcer personas: I need 'em!

To be more clear, this is the "registration" thread for the Star Wars Fan Fiction Academy, Secondary Location (otherwise known as SWFFA2). If you've written Star Wars badfic and want to register your previous badficcer self, or if you just like the idea of being in an OFU and want to create a badficcer self, post 'em below! They can be as much like or unlike you as you wish. Here's a brief form that you can use as a starting point (or ignore and just give a name and nothing else; honestly, either is fine, I just like having something to work with).

Name:

Age:

Description:

Lust Object (if applicable):

Light Side/Dark Side:

Notes:

So, there's that! Big thanks to Badger and Larfen for looking over my short story. Can't wait to see what you all come up with!

-Alleb

You're looking for the Library at Hurtfew; it's pretty good.

I read the book years ago, and Kaitlyn and I watched the adaptation. I know Scapegrace is a fan, too - at least one of her agents is an English Magician.

Have you read the short stories in her other book, 'The Ladies of Grace Adieu'? I forget if they're all set in the Strange and Norrell verse, but at least the titular one is.

I actually have a nearly-complete post-novel fanfic somewhere... I'll have to dig it up and push it through to completion.

hS

Here is the affrometioned sue-fic

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7502744/1/Spirits-Never-Die

It's a tenth walker, Maiar, oc who is immortal and was created from Sauron's blood (or something) and it's also a legomance.

Something else to mention....I wrote this story. Back in Middle school. Yes I was an angsty teen.

At any rate, I really love the PPC stories and I really hate mine so I thought it would be interested to see it be ripped to pieces. :-)

Let me introduce you to some lesser known mangas.

Historie: A story about this Scythian guy, named Eumenes, who chronicles the rise of Macedonian Empire from the father, King Philip, to possibly his son, Alexander the Great. Takes some creative licenses, especially about Alexander's psychology.

Origin: A robot story. Apparently, even as a robot, you need to have money to repair yourself. Facing his 'brothers', he will have to ensure his own survival. By hook or by crook.

Vinland Saga: I may be tooting the war horn to the guests of Valhalla and Folkvangr here. But if you are a fan of history and Vikings, you must read this. Thorfinn Karlsefni has a dream. To make a new place, where you can live in peace. This place is called Farmland. Well, Vinland, but you get the idea. Right now, every warrior wants to 1 on 1 against him, but he has resolved not to resort to violence ever again. How did he escape from the challenges? How can he reach Miklagarth in time and get the funds needed for his project? And will the crossbowwoman ever kill him? Tune in to find out.

I think these mangas may be less obscure than I thought, but if it tickles your curiosity, then I have done my work.