Man, my mistake is more embarrassing.
This list is also available as a Atom/RSS feed
-
Very quickly: by
on 2017-08-09 05:12:00 UTC
Reply
The nail polish thing is that Dawn generally wears sparkly nail polish. Almost all the time. The interlude, however, is set shortly after Des got stuck in that suit of cybernetic armor, and she's not... completely happy or used to it yet. Des is also very unhappy at that point, which is adding to Dawn's unhappiness, and essentially her friends notice the lack of something she usually always wears and get a little worried.
~Z
-
Still very excited about this! by
on 2017-08-09 05:07:00 UTC
Reply
And can't wait for Boromir!
~Z, who needs to run off to class very soon
-
Mystery Suefic Theatre presents: "The Slytherin Princess" by
on 2017-08-09 04:25:00 UTC
Reply
Since I don't have the time, talent, or motivation to put work into getting Permission, and I've been pretty bored for the last week or so, I decided I might as well go back to one of my favorite genres of fic-sporking from when I first got into the PPC. Namely- MSTing.
I now present to you the exploits of Kitty and Ruby as they mock a Sue's tragic lack of Heelies, get pedantic about capitalization of proper nouns, and butcher Shakespeare in their attempt to survive "The Slytherin Princess".
Wow, this got a lot longer than expected. Enjoy!
-Kitty
-
Sapphire looked at where the clown had vanished with wide eyes. by
on 2017-08-09 04:08:32 UTC
Reply
"Uh... so... what the hell was that all about?" they asked, slowly flapping down from the safe vantage point they had taken. "Cal, um... your eyes were, for lack of a better description, swirly. Would you mind explaining?"
-
A good improvement by
on 2017-08-08 23:45:00 UTC
Reply
Sorry for taking so long, I have been very busy. Yoir writing improved quite bit. I like the pacing, it's got a nice sort of continuous flow. The setting seems to be well defined without being too bogged down. All in all, a decent fanfic in my opinion, nothing fancy, but solid and enjoyable. Of course, there would always be stuff to improve, but try not to sweat it too much, it's just for fun after all.
-
Welcome, welcome, welcome! by
on 2017-08-08 23:20:00 UTC
Reply
Here's a tote bag with your Overwatch main!
-
Re: stories (spoilers for mission) by
on 2017-08-08 21:33:00 UTC
Reply
Baby Elf, Ent-queen
This mission had a few little details that I really liked. Firstly, you guys did a good job of continuously reminding the reader of the disguises the agents were wearing at any given time. This is especially important for me, as I have a tendency to keep reverting agents back to their normal appearance in my mental image of the story. (Which gets especially silly with Zeb; no need for blue ion lions wandering around in Middle-earth!) I also like the detail of having the notepad, writing utensil and weapon change forms between the Orc and Elf disguises.
I also really liked every time Agent Dawn started sharing things about Arda. I'm far from being a Tolkien expert myself, so I found all the knowledge and facts shared here interesting and informative. The details about Elvish names at the end I found particularly fun.
The absolute best thing about this mission is the assassination fake-out. There's not a single thing in the whole rest of the mission that made me think anything but a standard assassination was coming, which makes the surprise all the more wonderful and funny. Even better than subverting the usual violent moment, you guys even turn it into an opportunity for some genuine cuteness, which helps to keep the three agents distracted from the awkwardness of their personal situation. It's just a creative and fun twist, overall; well done, guys!
Happy Error List Time! You may have already fixed some of these, 'cause I pulled this mission up on my phone days ago and only got to read it yesterday at lunch. Anyway:
"When it did down, a pair of fair-haired Elves were standing in their places."
"The Sue stumbled to her little feet and promptly fell over, tripped by her the giant green dress . . ."
"The child thought about it, leaning her head against Dawn arm and frowning."
(Did a bottle of Dawn detergent just grow an arm?)
Also, this may have been intentional just to make that ending scene less complicated, but Gwilithiel switched from being in Zeb's RC at the start of the mission, to being back in Dawn's at the end. I haven't read any Pern yet; I do know fire-lizards are pretty dang intelligent, but would it be able to get back into Dawn's RC on its own? I don't think the Aviator knows where Dawn lives to help it . . .
Anyway, off to read the interlude . . .
/reads interlude
Meeting the Exes
Oh. Looks like fire-lizards can teleport. Ignore that last comment in the previous section, then . . .
I enjoyed this mainly because it was almost a study in character interaction. Exposing Zeb to new and unfamiliar personalities makes for all kinds of fun and unique dialogue interactions. It just goes to show the wide variety of characters in Headquarters, and helps to make HQ feel like the bustling, populated place it ostensibly is. Nothing majorly fancy or plot-changing happened, but I like it just for how down-to-earth and realistically conversational it is.
The one thing here I didn't get was the two separate references to Dawn not wearing nail polish. It's been a while since I read other Dawn stories, so sorry if I'm forgetting something already mentioned, but is the significance of her having plain fingernails?
—doctorlit, always plain-nailed
-
Hello newbie. by
on 2017-08-08 21:29:00 UTC
Reply
Please have a pot of black-hole coffee. Welcome here, hope you'll like the madhouse.
-
Happy belated birthday! (nm) by
on 2017-08-08 21:28:00 UTC
Reply
-
Happy birthday! *blows noisemaker* by
on 2017-08-08 20:52:00 UTC
Reply
Or late birthday depending on what time zone you're in!
-
Welcome back! by
on 2017-08-08 20:51:00 UTC
Reply
I don't believe we met the first time you showed up. Tell me about your fandoms, niche interests, all-consuming passions...
Also, here's a pair of fuzzy blue socks, because why not!
-
Hey there, returnbie. by
on 2017-08-08 18:56:00 UTC
Reply
Have a plate of fresh SPaGhetti!
-
For whatever it's worth... by
on 2017-08-08 15:57:00 UTC
Reply
Your English certainly seems pretty excellent to me. Had you not said, I would've assumed you were a native speaker. =]
-
You've missed a trick here. by
on 2017-08-08 11:26:00 UTC
Reply
It's been a very long time since I've played AoEII, so I don't remember the details, but even if I'd never played it, I'd know you'd missed a perfect opportunity:
The Bronee. How close is it possible to get to a pure-cavalry nation of nomads with a tendency to fanaticism? 'Nomadic' might be the most difficult part... faster-moving resource gatherers? I'unno.
Also: the Marizu. Is conversion a thing in AoE? If so, I'm imagining a ridiculously specialised nation with near-free, near-instant conversion that has little choice but to build its armies by stealing the enemy's.
~
All right, I've gone this far, I'll take a look at what you wrote, too. ;)
Plort: I can sort of see the rapid-research angle, and I love the melee-damaging archer (it's the sort of unconventional thing we'd do), but I don't know why you've gone for cavalry? Excepting the herd at Kwenaya, we've never had a particular focus on horses. Rather, drawing on the PPC ethos, I'd imagine Plort being about stealth, rather than speed.
Equally, I'm confused by the lack of a navy. We're... it's an island civilisation. It lives by sending fleets to harry the Marizu coast. What led you to the idea of a naval-poor nation?
The S.E.: The standout feature of the Scholars is their amazing teamwork. But... while, as you say, everyone wants them on their team... does anyone actually want to be them? Their team bonus, in particular, seems like a slap in the face for the Scholar player: 'thanks for boosting /my/ army... I guess when we get to the Imperial Age you can have my unique tech for your mediocre Guards'. Which is decent, provided a) you've got the right allies, and b) you only want to use that single unit.
hS
-
"IT'S SAUROMAN!" by
on 2017-08-08 10:31:00 UTC
Reply
My imagination went immediately to a superhero in a dinosaur costume, or being an actual anthropomorphic dinosaur, haunting the mountains until the word world realizes that he is supposed to be Saruman and at Orthanc. I’m not fond of the inflationary spawning of minis at any opportunity, and the mini manifesting at Moria when Gandalf spoke its name at Caradhras is I bit too convenient for my taste. The need to catch the mini (and then watch Sauroman the raptor instead) might have been a reason to follow the fellowship, or to quickly portal there and back again. But then, Dawn and Zeb had more important stuff to do.
The agents trailed after the Fellowship until they came to a stop at a short staircase. The Lady of Light appeared in front of them.
...
"Why did they bring the horse up so many stairs? ... "
What’s going on here? In the book, the fellowship climbed a long staircase to meet Galadriel and Celeborn. Since I don’t remember what was shown in the movie, the fanfic’s short staircase may actually be accurate to movieverse. But then, I don’t know much about horses, and even this might be too many steps. But then, it’s not even clear whether The Lady of Light appeared upstairs or downstairs. (Hey, it’s the Department of Inaccuracies trying to break through; don’t blame me.) Unfortunately, I didn’t take notes of a previous occurrence where Dawn appeared to base a comment on her memory of canon rather than on what had been told in the fanfic, and now I don’t find it again. Anyway, I’m snickering about the canon expert not actually paying attention to the boring fanfic, but I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to. Zeb wondering what "many stairs" Dawn is talking about might have helped to clarify that this is intentional – if it is.
Also, some typos:
The Sue stumbled to her little feet and promptly fell over, tripped by her the giant green dress ...
You need either "her" or "the", but not both.
Zeb hesitated, them gingerly picked her up, unsure if he was supposed to cradle her or hold her at arm’s length.
"them" should be "then".
The child thought about it, leaning her head against Dawn arm and frowning.
"Dawn" should be "Dawn’s".
Overall, this was a fun read. The end of the mission was unexpected but sweet, and I liked Dawn and Zeb’s pre- and post-mission interactions with the Aviator.
HG
-
HARPY BIRDTHAY by
on 2017-08-08 06:58:00 UTC
Reply
You're twenty?!
You have a voice like an ageless robot, and the dirty, dirty mind of either a boy of nine who's just learnt dirtiness, or a very, very old man of eighty who cares not for morals any more.
So I suppose if you add all those up and look at the average... that looks about twenty?
I guess?
Either way
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARDPY BIRDTHAYY SORRY I DIDN'T SEE THIS EARLIER
-
Hello, recently returned here too. by
on 2017-08-08 03:00:00 UTC
Reply
Been writing fanfics again, Kuroko no Basuke have no shortage of interesting characters and powers. Here, have a Rule Breaker replica. Can't break rules with it, unfortunately.
-
*cakefetti* by
on 2017-08-08 02:28:00 UTC
Reply
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!
*blows noisemakers*
-
Happy birthday! by
on 2017-08-08 02:24:00 UTC
Reply
As a present, please accept this drawing of a dragon. It's a bit smudged because I'm impatient and I didn't wait for the lineart to dry.
-
Happy birthday! by
on 2017-08-08 02:09:00 UTC
Reply
In honor of your 20th birthday, I gift you #20 in the Pokédex: Raticate! But not just any boring old Raticate! Your gift is an Alolan Raticate! Part Dark-type, it is quite useful against any Psychic or Ghost-types that try to pester you!
-
That post was mine. (nm) by
on 2017-08-08 01:51:00 UTC
Reply