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The EPC has a few of those SIDRATs from Master Who lying around, doesn't it? I imagine shoving a reluctant canon face-first into a temporal vortex would prove both entertaining and productive.

hS

In accordance with Article 372 of the EPC Constitution, any further deviant behaviour will be met with the full force of the Flamehammer.

[()

But heck, there's a freaking dragon. I know it has literally no impact on game-play, but hey, why not?

Caprice

Look out, PPC! I am here to kick butt and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum!

Shimon

I was told this is some sort of trial for determining rank among warriors. Naturally, with only mortals to stand against me, I shall easily triumph.

... What do you mean, a hydra, a dinosaur and a dragon? What is this "dinosaur"?

---

Meet the newbs!

Caprice



Don't get between this girl and her coffee. I have no idea what color her eyes are supposed to be, but I like it! I have a notion she's half Latina. Dunno, though; I'll have to play around with her a bit more.

Shimon



Left: PPC. Right: Pre-PPC.

Neither one of these is totally perfect. He lacks black fingernails in both. The anime one lacks a nice deep blue skin tone and appropriately fussy glasses, the ears are too short, and he shouldn't actually have slit pupils, IIRC. The fantasy one lacks wings(?!?), the mouth is too full (though the black color is good), and the face shape is too wide.

Between the two, though, there's a half-decent notion of how he ought to look.

Oh, also, meet Rinmaru Games' Mega Fantasy Avatar Creator! There are some pretty sweet options in there, but unfortunately, it's fairly useless if you want to make a buff, masculine-looking dude. Lucky for me, Shimon is not one of those. At all.

~Neshomeh

You will be located shortly.

Any further posts will be met with the full force of the Flamehammer of Moderation.

[()

Can you have a talk with certain parties? I'd name them in public, but I'd face a public lashing elsewhere if I mentioned them by name. Let's just say they're... not so savory types.

And a further twenty for quoting the Forbidden Serpent.

[()

I volunteer Florestan, Eusabius, Anneli, and Cindy for the PPC Hunger Games! It's been a while since I've written anything for them, you know!

Like you aren't already hunting me already. With about the same results as your attempt at harming Sakura, I dare say.

[OOC: Well, it DOES make sense to me that Mirrorverse!Sergio would actually go stalking-protector-with-a-crush on Sakura... Which, unfortunately, means no Nikki and no Corolla in the Mirrorverse. Would Mirroverse!Me actually be "fighting" the EPC, with-counter-missions featuring The Eraser and such? I believe it to be pretty likely]

... you will be hunted down and given thirty lashes for your disrepect.

[()

How many of your enforcers do I have to kill before you understand that Card Captor Sakura is off-limits to the EPC? I thought I was pretty clear when I blew that enforcer's head cleanly off with my Barrett last week.

Next time I catch one of your enforcer messing with Sakura, I'll make sure they wish that I had killed them.

or, to put otherwise, the one who is refereed to as Major Admiral Reginald Von Ictor the Ninth and the humble servant corresponding to yourself, have been, and are, to be, ever to say, presently functioning callously. Our endeavors enjoy resounding consummation. Equestria, that is to say, the continuum assigned to us, or otherwise put, the canon world myself and my partner have been tasked to reprobate and otherwise transmogrify, is as I currently expatiate, within our, that is to say, the esteemed organization to which you, the grand Sunflower Master, presently command, and shall continue forevermore, control. We, to clarify, Major Admiral Reginald Von Ictor and myself, have been performing numerous operations within the World of Words to expatiate the, as you, my Lord, christened, "Goodfic," to our, that is to say, the Enforcers of the Plot Continuum's, means. Forthwith, shall the efforts we, otherwise known as my collaborator and the writer penning this very response, will burgeon.


In perpetuum, your, that is to say, the High Panjandrum, servant;
Typeface

Or... I guess if he has a close scrape you can interview-cast it as him taking an extra life or... whatever it is he does?

But if the game says he dies, he dies.

hS

First, and it know this can be tricky for those not technologically inclined, acquire an emotional reader. Hormonal, pheramonic, does not particularly matter. Just make sure the machine can read strong emotions.

Second, attach this machine to a neck strap.

Third, rig a replenishing set of explosives to this device.

Forth, set the machine so that the bombs will detonate upon strong positive emotions. This should be enough negative reinforcement that will drive any character OOC given enough time. Especially bouncy, happy types.

An alternative is to shove explosives inside everything they hold dear, then rig them to only explode upon use by the canon. This sense of guilt and helplessness will drive any canon completely Suvian, guaranteed.

What you do is, you stand them on a thin metal floor, like aluminium or something, then you put a landmine underneath it, wait for them to step on it and hear the click... and that's when you start to torture them. Psychological torture too, none of this nimby-pimby blood all over the walls nonsense some people espouse. No, you make them terrified. You make them fear for their very existence. That way, you make them dance to your tune. Nobody else's. Just yours. You put in verbal, physical, and environmental triggers too, so even if some do-gooding sissy little wetpants does end up screwing up your plans for the day and neuralyzing away the torture, the implanted triggers will still turn them completely out of character. My favourite was when I made good old Legolas wet himself at the sight of a bow. Heh. Goooooooood times.

"Those are just sooooo much fun to dish out, and to take sometimes, if ya find the right meat willin' ta do it, knowwhatAh'msaiyan, huh? Course ya do, you're telemapathic! So you'll know just how much hard work we've been puttin' into wreckin' good characters with the simple addition of a happy-go-lucky clown an' aaaaaalla her knives. Ain't that right, Notesy?"

"... yes, ma'am."

"Attagirl! Knew we'd get there eventually! Now, if you're a good girl and eat all your vegetables, I might even take ya down from there! Y'know, if I can find the pry bar for those nails... or if I can't."

"I... it understands, ma'am."

"See that it does, or it is gonna end up on my show, and we've only got room for one It down there and it ain't you, got it?"

"... mostly?"

"Awright, screw this. We're signin' off fer now, 'cause someone needs a little reminder of exactly where they stand. Oh hey, there's the pry bar! Think of all the fun we can have with this, Notesy! Think of all the FUN!"

Cool. Thanks, I just needed to know who she reports to. The BFG's are just there "in case of emergency", much like the tanks, artillery shells and clown masks. They'd be gathering dust if Lucy wasn't polishing them regularly.

I personally prefer torture. It's much,much more satisfying to see them writhe in pain up close.

It's not her real name. Someone called her that on her first day at the PPC, and it stuck. At this point, even she refers to herself as Lucy.

Bribe your Dungeon Master to give you more spell slots than the game allows. Cast Meteor Swarm way more times than the rules allow. Laugh maniacally at your fellow party members and how overshadowed they must feel!~