I'm not writing any new agents or characters anymore until I get rid of some of the ones I currently have. I do feel awful that I'm probably the only one around here who's introduced no less than twelve agents over a two-year period. @_@
Not telling which ones I'll be axing, though. That'd ruin the surprise. XD
This list is also available as a Atom/RSS feed
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What Scape said, but with one addendum. by
on 2016-12-15 23:11:00 UTC
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*bows* by
on 2016-12-15 23:09:00 UTC
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The "wraith" could be either of them, actually :3c Though I had Cupid in mind specifically, he's the only Sue-wraith AFAIK who was purified and recruited in an actual mission.
I was trying to fit everything to the number of syllables of each line of the verse. The latter two additions would especially throw it out of rhythm since the second syllable of Lapis' name would have been the lead-in to the line "Through rain snow or hail". And, well, I just didn't think I had enough room to fit the "and" in the third one even though I really wanted to. XP
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Lootcrate Unboxing: November 2016 by
on 2016-12-15 15:30:00 UTC
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(This post is not sponsored by LootCrate; if it was, I'd have money. But I don't...)
So, a month ago, out of curiosity, I went and looked at LootCrate, to see if there are any fun crates for me to buy... and I immediately clicked "Buy" to get me this one. But, let's start from the beginning.
What is LootCrate?
LootCrate is a monthly subscription box of geek & gaming goodies delivered to your home. Every month you only get a theme announced, with only knowledge being what franchises will be featured in the Crate. Last year, I bought an October 2015 Crate - "Time" - which featured a sweet Doctor Who-licensed Sonic Spork.
So, what could've interest me so much, to return to LootCrate after a year? What's November's Theme?
MAGIC
.
.
.
.
Well, is anyone surprised? So, without further ado, let's begin the unboxing! We're doin' it live!
Hello, little Crate. Reveal your secrets to me!
In a cat-like manner, it's not the contents that interests me first, but the box itself. And this month we've got a... potions shelf?
First off, we've got a LootCrate Exclusive item - Doctor Strange Q-Fig!
Obligatory LootCrate Pin. This month - Elder Scrolls, and it apprently unlocks something cool in The Elder Scrolls Online. Maybe I'll check it out.
Useful stuff is always nice! A Melisandre notebook from Game of Thrones is cool.
A Big Trouble in Little China comic book. Anyone can tell me is it good?
And finally - the big daddy! The creme de la creme! The pomme de frites!
A MACUSA SHIRT!!!
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So basically, PETTY SPITE? (nm) by
on 2016-12-15 14:47:00 UTC
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Skarm does agents like Ix does missions. =] (nm) by
on 2016-12-15 14:12:00 UTC
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A Chanukah filk! (Seriously, we need more of these) by
on 2016-12-15 05:55:00 UTC
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To the tune of "Chanukah, O Chanukah", adapted for possible PPC traditions:
Chanukah, O Chanukah, come light the menorah
Kids have a party, we'll learn what's in store-a
Gather round together, we'll give you some drinks
Dreidels to play with and no missions (we think).
And while we are singing
The candles are burning high
One for each night, they shed a sweet light,
and give us hope that canon is nigh!
*
That's all I've got for now, and it really is more of a PPC adaptation than anything else, but I'll try to think of another tune to adapt.
~DF
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...all those agents are yours? O.o by
on 2016-12-15 04:47:00 UTC
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It all makes sense now. . .
--Key is not doing a good job of keeping up with anything.
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Noticing what he has done... by
on 2016-12-15 02:01:21 UTC
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...and being the Munchkin card game player he is, Uriel loots the room some more
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"Wait," Davug grunts. by
on 2016-12-15 01:55:52 UTC
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As he searches the graves, he says, "Check graves, more loot. Should be ready before next room."
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"Bloodfist..." Virro sighs. by
on 2016-12-15 01:53:29 UTC
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He pauses, then says, "I suppose it was to be expected. Very well. I shall begin raising those in the graves." He moves to do so. Meanwhile, Davug begins searching the room and empty graves for necromantic tools Virro might find useful. Failing that, he will look for armor Virro can use. Shaban stands in a corner and looks at the wall at Virro's command. Perhaps it was a bad zombie?
[Virro begins working on raising other zombies. Davug loots the graves, and Shaban stares at a wall.]
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"Keegra find armor and weapon." by
on 2016-12-15 01:50:09 UTC
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"Keegra also find belt. Keegra keep belt." Keegra made sure the belt was secure around her waist before setting the leather armor and club on the ground. She tucked the teeth trophies safely away in her furs and went to the eastern door, tapping her foot impatiently. "Small-man and rock-men and squid-one coming?
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Round 10 - Kleptomaniac's Anonymous by
on 2016-12-15 01:43:03 UTC
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Virro: (8) You manage to successfully use your Necromantic heritage to bring Zombie 2 under your control, however you feel that what is left of its mind is resisting you and you fear you shall not be able to control it forever, and once it does escape your control you will not be able to try and take control of it again.
Evard: ()
Uriel: (10) You loot two of the graves, Besides the remains of two elves in both of them you find a pair of Clubs(+2) and two sets of Leather Armour(+2). Swinging one of the clubs to test it out, you accidentally hit the odd-coloured part of the Southern wall of Room 4 and watch in surprise as the illusion collapses, the corridor continues South for a small bit before stopping at a door with the number 10 on it.
Keegra: (10) Despite how much you want to loot the bodies, there is still a zombie next to you, You decide to smash it to death quickly and THEN loot the bodies. (Fight!: Keegra gets (20 + 4Dam = 24) vs Zombie 2 gets (11 + 6 + 2Arm = 19) Keegra does 5 Damage, Zombie 2 dies) Quickly stomping the Zombie into the dirt (literally) you set about looting, picking up a nice number of teeth (11) from the dead Zombies. Leaning down to loot the now-deceased Zombie, you take it's Leather Armour(+2) and its Club(+2) before noticing its belt, unstrapping it from around its waist and picking it up you feel the magic coming from it. Putting it on you discover it is a Belt of Monk Training(+1Dam when unarmed), normally used by novice monk's who are training to make their fists the deadly force that yours are.
Xiv'riit: (11) Noticing Keegra's continued assault on the Zombie you try to use your healing prowess to aid her. Your magic almost seems to be expecting this and another powerful burst of healing magic goes through the area, affecting those in the starting room, the Orc barracks and the Zombie cemetery as well as the corridor that links the three. (Everyone in the area gains 4 Health, apart from Undead who lose 4 Health, this health can go beyond a persons normal max health.)
Kali ()
Yeleni: ()
Priya: () Having heard of the group of adventurers planning to conquer the Bore-Hole and beat Paarnax, you headed out from your homeland to join them. Unfortunately you arrive after they had set out and you have always been behind until now. Entering into the starting room, you barely notice the members of the party still in the room, or the fact that the door behind you has slammed shut and seemingly melded back into the wall again. Scampering down the corridor you find yourself in front of Room 4.
Orc Bodyguard (9) Having not been given an order you continue to watch the Half-Orc at work.
Zombie Orc Bodyguard: (8) Shaben waits for its Masters orders.
Room 4: Where once 8 Zombies waited to attack adventurers, now all have fallen prey to a Shardmind and a Half-Orc. The two Zombies killed outright by Xiv'riit's blast of healing magic are now nothing but dust, however the other six still lay on the ground, able to potentially be resurrected. The room itself has three other exits, two on the right hand, West wall, one noticeably nearer than the other, the other exit door is in the East wall two thirds of the way down the room. Where the far wall used to change colour has now been revealed as a secret passageway leading to a door to the South..
Characters:
Virro: Weapons - Shortbow(+2) Quiver(38 Arrows), Armour - , Other - (+1 Cir when guarding a door or doorway), Orc Bodyguard (You control what your Orc Bodyguard does each round), Undead Orc Bodyguard, Health 30/26
Evard: Weapons - Dagger(+2), Dagger(+1), Armour - Studded Leather Armour(+4, Invisibility), Other - Invisibility (Can turn invisible for one round (counts as a passive action), Cannot be noticed or attacked by enemies whilst invisible, +1 Circumstance when attacking whilst invisible. Invisibility can be activated once every 4 Rounds (Rounds Remaining 0, Invs ready to activate)), Health 27/23
Uriel: Weapons - Mace(+1), Armour - Sturdy Robes(+1), Other - , Health 33/29
Keegra: Weapons - , Armour - , Other - Ring of Thur ('Rub thrice and drop it' and a mysterious stranger may arrive to help you for a turn, One use only), Health 26/22
Xiv'riit: Weapons – Spork(+3), Armour - , Other - , Ring of Thur ('Rub thrice and drop it' and a mysterious stranger may arrive to help you for a turn, One use only), Health 25/28
Kali: Weapons - Deer Shot(+3, Deer Fling), Armour - Leather Armour(+1), Other - Deer Fling (Once per room, you may fling a Deer instead of a stone at an enemy. This does +1D8 damage, and the difference between the offence and defence scores (either way) is taken as damage by the Deer. If it survives this it stays around as a permanent companion following your orders), Health 16/12
Yeleni: Weapons - Quarterstaff(+2), Armour - , Other - , Health 30/26
Priya: Weapons - Monk's Spade(+2), Armour - Banded Armour (Heavy, +4), Other - , Health 29/25
Orc Bodyguard: Weapons - Longsword(+1), Armour - Studded Leather Armour(+3), Other- , Health 30/26
Undead Orc Bodyguard: Weapons - , Armour - Leather Armour (Light +2), Other- , Health 3/7
Loot in Room 4: [Leather Armour(Light +2), Club(+2)] Zombie 1, [Zombies 2, 3 and 7 have nothing on them], [Hide Armour(Light, +1)] Zombie 4, [Scale Mail(Mail. +3), Greatsword(+2)] Zombie 8. (12 graves which may be lootable, 8 of which are open obviously the ones from which the Zombies came from) Grave plots 9 and 10 have not been looted, 11 and 12 have.
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*applause* by
on 2016-12-14 23:01:00 UTC
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Nice work, Skarmory! That got a smile on my face, especially those last few lines. Yes, if anyone needs comfort and joy, it's someone with a ton of agents!
A question, though: The "wraith" mentioned in the fourth stanza. Are you referring to Cupid or E.V.L.?
A thousand pardons if this is out of place, but that last stanza could scan better. As it currently stands, you are missing a few syllables. If I may:
Falchion, Rashida, Rayner, Eve,
Together they prevail,
Ripper, Sarah, Cupid, Lapis,
Through rain or snow or hail,
Whitney, Backslash, and are there more?
The chaos this entails:
Due to all the agents I write,
Agents I write,
I'm not getting any sleep tonight~
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Not to be self-serving, but here: An Ode to Too Many Agents by
on 2016-12-14 22:36:00 UTC
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(Sung to "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")
God help ye hapless PPC
Let none of you dismay
Remember him, the Skarmory
Who graced HQ that day
A crossover of mighty scale
Whose author went astray
Oh bless him of steel, Falchion
Falchion
Like the phoenix he rises again
Incredible, dependable,
A Super girl did rise
To face down a replacement
A beast the bird despised
They tricked the hateful beast into
A deadly hot surprise
Oh bless her of strength, Sarah Squall,
Sarah Squall,
When the Sues come, she fights with her all
There was a man with rainbow hair
Who spread the avian's word
For he too had escaped despair
Or so Headquarters heard
A white-furred beast had saved his hide
And she too knew this bird
Oh bless him of hope, Rayner B.
Rayner B.
And Rashida Mafdetiti
A wraith, a sword, a dinosaur
Would one day join their cause
A former Sue with hair of blue
Would even give them pause
For they all sought a time of peace
No more of badfic's flaws
Oh bless them of united strength,
United strength,
And missions of unfathomed length
And when they came to Headquarters
Where our dear Falchion rests,
His voice was one of welcoming
Despite his thorny nest
He took them in and gave them hope
That they'd complete their quest
Oh bless them of friendship and love,
Friendship and love,
Despite the demands from above
Falc, Rashida, Rayner, Eve,
Together they prevail,
Ripper, Sarah, Cupid, Lapis,
Through rain, snow, or hail,
Whitney, Backslash, are there more?
The chaos this entails,
Due to all the agents I write,
Agents I write,
I'm not getting any sleep tonight~
-
RCs Bright (Silent Night) by
on 2016-12-14 21:26:00 UTC
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I like the idea of agents doing Christmas things, though I think this filk strayed a bit from that. *shrug* Ah, well.
Silent night! Holy night!
Agents make their RCs bright.
Consoles muffled in blankets deep,
Floaters catch all their needed sleep.
Sues no more shall return!
Sues no more shall return!
Silent night! Holy night!
Suvians hide away in fright.
C-CADS tucked away for now,
Agents in the Courtyard for snow.
Minis drank all the cocoa,
Minis drank all the cocoa.
Silent night! Holy night!
SIs quake at the sight.
Agents wreak vengeance for Faramir.
Thranduil's head is still not clear.
Agents get holiday pay!
Agents get holiday pay!
~~~
Obviously the last two lines are utter fantasy, but they fit the tune, so they stay. ^_^ Merry Christmas, everyone!
-Alleb
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REVENGE by
on 2016-12-14 20:02:00 UTC
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...Okay, that's maybe a bit melodramatic, but yeah.
Long story short: I had a lengthy argument with someone (probably my mom? I feel like the answer is my mom) over whether my being trans was a sin. Rather than let her get to me, I decided to own that, and thus, Lily-Sinful.
...I guess that's technically more "petty spite" than revenge, huh?
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For some reason... by
on 2016-12-14 19:39:00 UTC
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My brain kept trying to hear this to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman." Maybe because "Jay and Acacia" scans so well to that, plus the fact that the two tunes are kinda similar?
I'unno. Either way, I like the concept, it was indeed amusing, and I'm sure the agents agree with the moral. ^_^
~Neshomeh
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Poop. (nm) by
on 2016-12-14 05:22:00 UTC
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That's the most likely reason, that. Sorry you missed it! by
on 2016-12-14 04:06:00 UTC
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I mean, I wasn't there, either, so maybe it's a good thing we missed it. Maybe it was really dumb. Maybe it was a really dumb game.
It might have been great but, then again:
Maybe it was really, really dumb.
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Your HTML broke. (nm) by
on 2016-12-14 03:33:00 UTC
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Is it over? I can't get in :/ (nm) by
on 2016-12-14 03:32:00 UTC
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Welcome! *Glomp* *poke* by
on 2016-12-14 01:44:00 UTC
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FOR ONCE I AM FIRST!
Okay, maybe you didn't exactly state that you were planning to count yourself a member of our community, but you posted, so you're in now! Since you've been lurking, I take it you've read the Original Series and the Constitution? Then it's on to the Adavanced Questions™! First up: Do you have a favorite spinoff/agent?
--Key doesn't write either and still gets to be a mod for the live chat
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Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! by
on 2016-12-14 01:36:00 UTC
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Horribly, horribly late is better than horribly, horribly never. by
on 2016-12-14 01:31:42 UTC
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So come and join the 'fun'. I'll edit Round 9 to include you in. You'll be spawning in Room 4 with Random Equipment.
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This took me longer than I thought. by
on 2016-12-14 01:13:00 UTC
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Not my best effort, I don't think, but hopefully amusing nonetheless.
"Jay and Acacia", to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (creative title, I know)
You know Dafydd and Ilraen and Bulldog and Barid
Tawaki and Cupid and Gremlin and Makes-Things
But do you recall the most famous agents of all?
Ja-a-ay and Acacia
Killed themselves a lot of Sues
But if you ever asked them
They might say it wasn’t true
All of the nasty Flowers
Tried to take away their pay
But brave Jay and Acacia
Continued to save the day!
Then one badfic in Loh-tee-ar
Drove them quite insane
Boromir was kissing Sues
Legolas suddenly turned gay!
So then Jay and Acacia
Decided to run away
The moral of this story
Is agents should really get paid!