The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

So, I've been directed here by a review on a PPC-style fic I wrote... >> Sorry for jumping the gun and deciding to murder Sues pre-emptively, but some of them were -really- asking for it...

I'm not sure if there's a proper format for first-time posters... and apologize if I've broken any protocols I was unaware of.

So... hi! ^^ I'm Kassy, I write in the LoTR and recently the Bleach canons. I'm a total geek in real life who speaks Chinese and enjoys Doctor Who and videogames.

I'm currently writing a fantasy book series that has a plot that covers many years. If anybody wants to know what the book series is like, expect magic, spirits, insanity-causing substances, anything involving the number 7, and more.
Ps: For the record, it's still in the beta stage, so expect some stuff changed around.

Not that I am an expert in this, but one of my agents has a backstory that isn't dependent on his coming from Not World One, although that is where he's from and it helps him a bit during his interview with the Marquis de Sod.

The PPC hadn't dealt with any villain sues, or at least, too much of them, as far as I know. I think it would be interesting to take on one of those mary sues, and I think a department like that should be formed...although if anyone's willing to do those missions, just be careful.

Use your new permission-giving power wisely, you two!

VM's reaction to this reminds me of the saying, "whoever wants to be a politician is automatically unqualified for the job."

This is probably the most useful newbie-welcoming-gift I have ever given. How odd.

Also, although you've apparently seen the wiki already, here is our pre-prepared list of Links which we throw at bestow upon all new members. We hope they're useful.

In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Yeah, his new name translates as 'Cave-dweller' rather than 'Cave-prince', so it's just a drop in status :) I'm going to see how unnatural it seems to have him actually call her by their surname, and maybe have another nickname if it dosn't work.

Heh. You're not the only one. I think I will have to write a sequel.

Are these fics qualified for killing? If so, anyone up for killing these (I would if these are assassination-material and if I ever get permission, but like I said, a few IRL stuff isn't letting me)?

I would like to join this when I get permission, but due to certain things, I might need to wait, so yeah. If I could, though, then I would like to go looking for some badfic on this here internet, and expand on some concepts such as these Anthropomorphic Personification stuff such as Discworld's Death.
Even then, I'm not too good at writing in-character in fanfiction: However, I do know that Hermione isn't a whore, Ron isn't a Complete Monster, Draco isn't an almighty sex-god that can do no wrong, and obvious OOC stuff like that (at least, without good reason). However though, I have some trouble trying to mimic their speech patterns and similar stuff involving words coming out of their mouths.
Anyway, enough blabbing about this, so thank you all.

They're from the department of Floaters. Their first mission will be Every Fangirl's Dream by WickedSweet123, a regular case of Trans-Dimensional Snatching.

I'd like to request permission to create my own spin-off of the PPC...

My agents:

Name: Leroy Marks
Physical appearance: Tall (1m80), his features are always covered by his black armour
Personality: Rude, humourless, he hates badfic and is a Cardboard freak (He's addicted to the duplicator)
Equipment: He always wears Mandalorian shock trooper armor, and carries a Glock 34. He also has in his possession imperial stormtrooper armor (painted black).
He is a Mandalorian recruited from a Star Wars fanfic whose original name was Akaan (which apparently means 'War' in Mando'a). He was renamed Leroy Marks (which is clearly not a typical mandalorian name).

-

Name: Quentin Travis
Physical appearance: He is a fat, bald man whose age is around 60 years old.
Personality: He is curious (far too curious according to his partner), hyperactive; his mental age is similar to the one of a ten years old kid.
Equipment: He was given stormtrooper armour and a Glock 34 by his partner, and that's what he uses.
He was recruited from the Real World because he left constructive criticism on his badfic reviews.


Writing sample (It's very short, tell me if you need something bigger).

Oh No! Another Lord of the Rings Parody? by kitt_otter PG
Summary: ‘Fraid so. Frodo’s a stinker and Bilbo’s worse. Sauron’s beard is pointy and his minions wield chainsaws. Aragorn couldn't find his nose in the dark. And the worst of it…? Gandalf owes me money.

It does, I suppose, follow the basic plot, but most of the humour seems to centre on making the canon characters either stupid or mean, regardless of their actual canon personalities, plus the entirely unecessary addition of modern technology.

For example, this? Isn't funny, it's stupid:

“I think you’ve had it long enough – magic rings should be shared, not hoarded for two thousand years. Let it go.”
“Oho! Oho! I see; you want it all for yourself, don’t you, Gandalf?
“Well – I – well – no – I -- ”
The Eye of the Monkey crackled as dangerously as the eyes of its holder. “Then take this – Kreeahh!” Bilbo flipped overhead; Gandalf stumbled back, and they met staff-to-staff, thus beginning a very messy duel. In the end, they called it a draw, having hit Bilbo’s stuff more than each other.
“Alright then, here’s the Thing.” Bilbo carelessly tossed a small shiny ring onto the oliphaunt-skin rug. He met Flópi outside with an over-packed wagon. “No hard feelings,” he said, shaking Gandalf’s hand. There was a buzz of electricity, and Gandalf’s beard sizzled outward from every angle. “So long, schmo. And watch out for Frodo!”
Gandalf watched the old crackpot hop down the hill and the eerie blue flames that rose from Hobbiton afterward.

I'm an animal-lover, and usually I can't stand looking at fics like this, and sometimes I even question the authors' sanity for writing these.

I see you resolved the name thing with Felaben. At first glance it seems odd that he would call his sibling by their last name, but on closer inspection it works well enough, I think--and who can blame her for not wanting to go by her given name? All in all, you seem to know what you're doing.

I want to know what happens next in "Gifts and Bargains." {; p

~Neshomeh

For some reason, the story 'Elementary Biology' and the main page of 'Bad Fanfic, No Biscuit!' have the same address. To find the story, click the link I provided, and when the page is loaded, click on 'The Stories', then on 'Elementary Biology'.

Sorry!

Good job getting rid of that sue: I thought that the agents had to fight that mary sue.
By the way, what time does that second fic take place in?

I would like to congratulate both of our new Permission Givers: Vixenmage and Makari! The Hat (which continues to be very impressive) is now yours.

Those were some, er, interesting fics. Especially the second one. Nice job.
I have to ask about Tasmin. Is there an interlude-type thing somewhere I'm missing, or is that yet to come?

Throwing myself on the mercy of the PGs... :)

My agents

The story I intend to kill:
A Dying Light
It’s an action/adventure with a fair amount of gratuitous violence, a distinct lack of respect for the potential severity of head injuries, a random dark fortress somewhere in the region of Rohan among other sundry offences to canon, and several scenes that make me wail “Clinical shock/the healing process/dehydration does not work that way!” But it's not really horrifying enough for me to send it straight to DAVD.

Writing sample(s):
Darkness and Death
My serious Silmarillion-based story, very OC-heavy, set during the kinslaying of Alqualonde. It's not finished and some of the early chapters are very old, but the last chapter was only just posted.
Gifts and Bargains
A more light-hearted LotR one-shot starring Glorfindel and Erestor

Nice to meet you. Have a leash-and-harness set; it's flame-retardant, and perfectly sized for most brains.

Is there perchance something shorter we could call you?

Though, I don't think I broke a rule. Allison quite clearly pointed out that Face was not going to believe them if they appeared to him as two people he had never met. If there was a rule about disguises, it was required to be broken here. (Although the agents could have gone in disguised as generic MPs, chased away Face and have the mission finished in under 100 words. But that wouldn't have been much of a story.)