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It's not really the done thing to give the authors links to the sporkings, it could spawn horrible flamewars which'll never get resolved and it'd be humiliating for all concerned.

I'd say a review telling him the problems would be a good idea, but it's not like he's going to listen to a random internet stranger, so that's also a bad idea.

I solemnly swear to not hit Cali over the head with it unless he really deserves it.

Thanks.

Traditionally, people write the scene in which their agents get to know each other/meet for the first time for their writing sample, but you don't need to. And it doesn't need to be brilliant. The permission givers just want to make certain that you have a decent grasp of the English language and can write decent characters.

From your mention of exorcism, can I assume that you're going into DBS? It would be lovely if you were; we need more recruits.

--anamia

I could foster him in The Lair for a while until your agents get out of training. I can think of a few ways for him to cause trouble in the meantime.

Just remind me if I forget when you do get permission.

I've been around for a while, though I'm not sure if I've been active enough.

And as for the writing sample part, well, for me, is a bit of a concern, seeing as I don't exactly have much faith in my own writing skills...

I'll have to look into it.

Of Fang and Metal » by falconstar100 reviews
A discovery in the woods causes Hiccup and Toothless to meet an ally and be caught up in a adventure to save their island, and possibly, their planet, from their new friend's deadly foe. Post-movie. Contains spoilers.
Crossover - Doctor Who & How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,762 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 6-2-10 - Published: 5-3-10

My comment: Hiccup knows what a planet really is. Hiccup. Knows. What. A. Planet. Really. Is.

Mass execution sounds good. Lots of fire, maybe? Burn them on the stake (Maybe by Agents from the Naruto continuum using a Fire jutsu?) like heretics they are? And as they're not real kittens, I don't think you have to worry about nine lives.
But maybe you could lock them up, incapacitated, together with No-Drool videos, and watch them die from sexual withdrawal? I know torturing is frowned upon, but it seems like poetic justice to have oversexed kittens die from watching porn and sexual frustration?
But maybe that's too 'Ick'...
Hmm... I do have a few ideas, though some the Flowers probably would object to, and some are almost as squicky as the fic... Damn my imagination.
Anyway, I'll post some more when I have ideas that involve poetic justice and no squick. I just love poetic justice...

That's just...
That guy has some serious issues, methinks. I was actually thinking someone should post a link to your mission.

I'm somewhat a newbie myself, but I'll try to answer all the questions to the best of my ability.

To be "eligible for sporking", aka take on missions, you have to hang around the Board at least a month, be active so people get to know you, and then post a Permission Request entailing a short description of your agents, a Permission Request itself (can be anything from a simple "Hey, I would like to write missions." to an elaborate hundred sentences like "I solemnly swear to banish the evil that is the MarySue whereever I encounter it in the Word Worlds."), and a writing sample to show that you have a good grasp of English grammar, spelling and vocabulary. Can be PPC-related, but doesn't have to be. You could for example choose an essay you wrote for school which you are very proud of.
Then the Permission Givers will either give you Permission or not, in which case they will explain what you lack in their eyes.

About new recruits: It depends. Whoever rescued them from a fic has the ultimate say in things. Go ask them.

To exorcise Video Game badfics you need a CD-ROM or something similar with the game on it (Canon Material), and depending on you, candles, bells, chimes, incense and the like. The character to be exorcised is hit with the Canon Material and variations of "Get thee out! The power of (original author) compels you!" until the Author-Wraith appears and is charged and slain.
To handle missions in continua, you need a working kwnowledge of them. I am not sure if you have to play them, but I don't think so. You just have to be able to tell what's Canon and what isn't.

I hope this helps. The wiki is also a good place to look for answers.

We're not supposed to hate on the authors, I know, but with this guy, it's REALLY REALLY HARD not to. Particularly since all of his fics are equally creepy, though with most of them we are at least spared the babytalk and cat ears.

Someone on LJ summarised his work thus: "So, according to him, Sakura is too stupid, weak, and sexual (because clearly her crush on Sasuke makes her bad, therefore sexual woman = evil slut), so having her be tortured to death by her crush is somehow striking a blow for women everywhere." (Yes, the guy has apparently openly expressed this view.) "Meanwhile, he casts Naruto as feminine, but his idea of femininity is Naruto being weak, stupid, and sexual, exactly the same things he despises Sakura for. The only difference appears to be that Naruto has a penis and Sakura doesn't. Meanwhile, as if this wasn't bad enough, he casts Sasuke as the icon of masculinity, so ... his idea of masculinity is someone who tortures and kills women because he hates them and they deserve to die, and who rapes and tortures the 'pure' feminine boy on the pretext of loving him."

I've been working on my agent ideas, though I'm not sure how long you have hang out here to be eligable for sporking.

I was also wondering about new recruits that haven't been used yet, and if any of them are eligible to use.

And one last question: What do you need to exorcise Video Game badfic? And say you're like me and don't really play video games... but still like a good number of them anyway?

Have some generic candy.

Have a glass paperweight shaped like an artichoke. Sorry, no clockwork inside.

... for dealing with this - thing. I can't believe someone did that to Naruto! I know slash is abundant there, but a monstrosity like that... Ugh.
Thank you again for killing it. I hope the Author rots in hell for that. Trivializing rape, implied paedophilia - just yuck.

Thank you, and I pray you survive this with you (in)sanity mostly intact.

I shall donate a full filling of the Bleepka Fountain for you to use and scub the images from your brain when the mission is finished.

I can sense a trip to the PPC General store in my near future. There are some comical possibilities in having a rodent in my RC.

*Rubs hands evilly* Let the plotting begin.

I laughed the whole way through. Thank you!

i'll gie you a gun. Good for killing Sues and threatening the mad people here if they get dangerous.

It's hard to come up with a suitably horrible way to kill the kittens (Drake is not allowed to test his theory about whether he can choose the kitten which dies when he ... you know). We're thinking mass execution in the abandoned Temple, a la Evelyn Eliza. Since they're cats, we may have to kill them nine times ... thoughts?

This thing seemes to keep getting worse and worse! I can't wait until this... ambomination of a story is destroyed once and for all!

Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Wow, when they say nothing is safe, they really mean nothing...

And, as a present...have a Random Artefact of Rassilon. It looks like a toaster, but who knows! Could be anything.