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'Cause if so, blargh. Stupid Suethors.

But good filk.

~Neshomeh

I lahve it. ^_^

And the comma goes after "merry." A loose translation would be "Take it easy, dudes." 'Cause everything's cool thanks to Jesus, ya dig?

~Neshomeh

The trick is getting the new words to sync with the tune. Try singing it to yourself if you're not sure. You'll find out pretty quickly whether or not it works. {= )

I love the concept, by the way.

~Neshomeh

>.>

<.>
*sidles off-screen* *may or may not be constructing large amounts of ammo* *just in case, of course*

~Neshomeh

after the tune of "Last Christmas" by Wham.

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

Once written, we must try
To get good feedback, but you just roll your eye.
Tell me, Suethor; do you need a beta?
No, I thought not, I guess I’ll read ya later.

Here’s a website; I linked it up and sent it
With a note saying “You need help!” I meant it.
Now I know what a fool I’ve been.
You don’t want to improve, you just crave the attention.

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

In a chat room, users with weird names.
I see you’ve blocked me; why such childish games?
My glod, I thought you’d appreciate assistance,
But your grammar errors show up with great persistence.

Another tenth walker for the one-hundredth time,
A Harry/Snape slashfic? This is really a crime!
Oh well, if this is what you call plot,
I guess I’ll leave you to it!

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

…here in Wisconsin.

*sets to work on a snow!Amateria, in case of PPC snowball fight*

Have a Trandsimensional Pocket Knife. If you find a use for it, do let me know - I have too many.

Cheers,
- Sedri

A plover is a sort of bird. I think every single person who's joined our board has recieved one. We all tend to have our own particular gifts we give people. That said, since you're staying, allow me to give MY gift: A Transdimensional Pocket Knife. You may have no use for it.

If the litmus tests came out low, then you should have little trouble. Fretting never did anyone much good. :)

As for the forum/board, if you're doing a mass answer to everyone, it's probably better to post as a reply to your original thread - I imagine this will be overlooked by many people who think you're talking only to me. The only other board ettiquette I can think of is don't double-post, as things get kicked off the end of the page if there's too many.

So, welcome!
- Sedri

Ah yes, I remember reading the sporking of that fic and all I have to say is: What. the. FRAK?!?!?

Seriously, that is just sick and wrong right there! Therefore, I can't wait to see the next part of the sporking.

Interesting. I'll have to see which ones have been done already, so that if/when I ever start sporking, I won't kill what's already been killed.

Nice to meet you all, and thanks for the gifts. XD
But... may I ask what a plover is?

Also I'm afraid I don't have any sanity - around here that's reserved for "normal people." Heh.

@Sedri
(Haha, thanks. XD)

Oh, of course. I didn't mean to make it seem like that was all I'm here for. I always like making new friends, of course, especially other writers.

Thanks for the advice, I tried the litmus test and it came out pretty low, so maybe I will go ahead and post it somewhere. I just have a lot of difficulty seeing my work as good - I'm constantly fretting over every little thing. ^^;

As a side note: I'm used to a different style of forum, so if I'm not doing this correctly please just say something.

Have a softnose laser. They kill, so don't worry about the bit charrie Sues. Hee.

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod!

Have a venomous arthropod!

Unfortunately, I won't be buying AC2 until it hits the bargain bins at Target. Sorry!

Have a shrunken head.

Try not to spend it all in one place.

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the fandom, but props for getting out there and looking for a beta - I'm sure you'll find someone!

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a scimitar from the Raven Armory and a jug of bleepka. Hopefully I won't have to run into any of those fics soon. *shudders* I'm most definitely not going after the Twilight ones. I hate that fandom, so why protect it?

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a set of archery equipment from the Raven Armory! I don't know the fandom, so I can't beta, but hello anyway.

Things I can't do while writing PPC, if I understand Tungsten Monk correctly.

Incidentally, I'd originally meant to kill Agent Tawaki off in Weapon of Atlantis, but then I found the Batman fic.

To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman"

Raven E. Saxon
Was the Ainley Master's child!
And her mother was a refugee
From when Traken Union died!
Raven E. Saxon
Found a Time Lord who'd been slain,
And she reached Earth when her dad was PM
For a TARDIS she had gained.
There must have been some magic in
Her for when she met her dad,
He suddenly did mend his ways and
He was no longer bad!
Oh, Raven E. Saxon
Fell in love with Doctor Ten,
And I'm sad to say they are on their way
To the story's happy end.

Raven E. Saxon
Found some needles in her clothes,
And some itchy leaves up and down her sleeves,
And a rash upon her nose
Raven E. Saxon
Just continued with the fic
It felt like a gaff when the Doctor laughed
At her idiotic tricks.
And then another TARDIS entered.
Out came Time Lords twain,
Who charged the Mary Sue and
They both dragged her away.
Oh, Raven E. Saxon
Was destroyed by Magnus Greel.
And the canons, why, they were neuralyzed
And the 'verse itself could heal.

I love writing stuff like this. Especially now that I've listened to "The Twelve Days of Christmas," Shrek-style, and "The Muppet's Christmas Carol" excessively.
The first one is a bit sacrilegious, but it was fun to think out. It kinda loses its momentum in the second half, but I still like it. It's set to the tune (and some words) of "The First Noel". There's only two verses to it (instead of the original song's six) because I ran out of ideas and I only know the first two original verses. I might go back and write more in, though.

--

The First "Oh Hell"

The first "Oh hell", the agents did say
was to certain poor Consoles in rooms where they lay.
In rooms where they lay processing Sues
for assassins to kill; hey—that's old news.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Born is a Sue and canon's unwell.

The fic was bad—the worst they'd seen.
Duty was calling to kill the teen.
Agents looked and saw her near,
so they charged and murdered without fear.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Dead is a Sue and canon is well.

--

I wrote the second one and found that it was frighteningly easy. Song and tune filked is "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". It was originally going to be "Mary the Talking Unicorn", but I changed it when I found a better one. Most of the words are from the original song. The canon names are from these fandoms, in the same order: Harry Potter, Provost's Dog, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Discworld, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Star Wars, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, I'm not calling these characters Sueish. I'm just naming them because they work the best and are relatively well known. This song is a dedication to all those PPC-ers who dislike certain canon Sues and would kill them if they could. (Note: Canon in the song is being used in place of saying "permanent character from a series".)

--

"Mary the Sueish Canon"

You know Harry and Beka
and Aslan and Frodo.
Rincewind and Olaf
and Leia and Sparrow.

But do you recall... The most famous canon of all?

Mary the Sueish Canon
had some very wilver eyes.
And if you ever saw her,
you would say they attract guys.

All of the other canons
used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Mary
join in any canon games.

Then one foggy winter eve
Mary saved the day.
"Mary with your wilver eyes,
you caught bad guys by surprise!"

Then all the canons loved her
as they shouted out with glee,
Mary the Sueish canon,
watch out for the PPC!