The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the fandom, but props for getting out there and looking for a beta - I'm sure you'll find someone!

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a scimitar from the Raven Armory and a jug of bleepka. Hopefully I won't have to run into any of those fics soon. *shudders* I'm most definitely not going after the Twilight ones. I hate that fandom, so why protect it?

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a set of archery equipment from the Raven Armory! I don't know the fandom, so I can't beta, but hello anyway.

Things I can't do while writing PPC, if I understand Tungsten Monk correctly.

Incidentally, I'd originally meant to kill Agent Tawaki off in Weapon of Atlantis, but then I found the Batman fic.

To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman"

Raven E. Saxon
Was the Ainley Master's child!
And her mother was a refugee
From when Traken Union died!
Raven E. Saxon
Found a Time Lord who'd been slain,
And she reached Earth when her dad was PM
For a TARDIS she had gained.
There must have been some magic in
Her for when she met her dad,
He suddenly did mend his ways and
He was no longer bad!
Oh, Raven E. Saxon
Fell in love with Doctor Ten,
And I'm sad to say they are on their way
To the story's happy end.

Raven E. Saxon
Found some needles in her clothes,
And some itchy leaves up and down her sleeves,
And a rash upon her nose
Raven E. Saxon
Just continued with the fic
It felt like a gaff when the Doctor laughed
At her idiotic tricks.
And then another TARDIS entered.
Out came Time Lords twain,
Who charged the Mary Sue and
They both dragged her away.
Oh, Raven E. Saxon
Was destroyed by Magnus Greel.
And the canons, why, they were neuralyzed
And the 'verse itself could heal.

I love writing stuff like this. Especially now that I've listened to "The Twelve Days of Christmas," Shrek-style, and "The Muppet's Christmas Carol" excessively.
The first one is a bit sacrilegious, but it was fun to think out. It kinda loses its momentum in the second half, but I still like it. It's set to the tune (and some words) of "The First Noel". There's only two verses to it (instead of the original song's six) because I ran out of ideas and I only know the first two original verses. I might go back and write more in, though.

--

The First "Oh Hell"

The first "Oh hell", the agents did say
was to certain poor Consoles in rooms where they lay.
In rooms where they lay processing Sues
for assassins to kill; hey—that's old news.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Born is a Sue and canon's unwell.

The fic was bad—the worst they'd seen.
Duty was calling to kill the teen.
Agents looked and saw her near,
so they charged and murdered without fear.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Dead is a Sue and canon is well.

--

I wrote the second one and found that it was frighteningly easy. Song and tune filked is "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". It was originally going to be "Mary the Talking Unicorn", but I changed it when I found a better one. Most of the words are from the original song. The canon names are from these fandoms, in the same order: Harry Potter, Provost's Dog, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Discworld, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Star Wars, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, I'm not calling these characters Sueish. I'm just naming them because they work the best and are relatively well known. This song is a dedication to all those PPC-ers who dislike certain canon Sues and would kill them if they could. (Note: Canon in the song is being used in place of saying "permanent character from a series".)

--

"Mary the Sueish Canon"

You know Harry and Beka
and Aslan and Frodo.
Rincewind and Olaf
and Leia and Sparrow.

But do you recall... The most famous canon of all?

Mary the Sueish Canon
had some very wilver eyes.
And if you ever saw her,
you would say they attract guys.

All of the other canons
used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Mary
join in any canon games.

Then one foggy winter eve
Mary saved the day.
"Mary with your wilver eyes,
you caught bad guys by surprise!"

Then all the canons loved her
as they shouted out with glee,
Mary the Sueish canon,
watch out for the PPC!

*takes off helmet*
Damn, those S-IVs almost got me that time.
Oh, a new guy!
Here, you get first prizes from the loot! For you, an M12 Light Grenade Launcher!
Might I advise you use it for blowing walls and doors in, only? It'd kill a Sue way too fast.

*shudders*

Fortunately, some of them has been PPCed already.

Ah yes, I remember that fic. Lovely work, that.

And it also sporks the Twilight Series, of which I absolutely can't stand. Maybe it's the whole "Sparkly Vampire" thing that bugs me the most, since I happen to be very fond of fantasy/supernatural stuff.

I really hate tweenies, and the fact that a few (young adult female) acquaintances of of mine actually //like// that series doesn't help either.

*Sigh*

Sounds like fun, I'll try my hand at one of these, though I'm not sure how good it is:

"Mary Sues Roasting on an Open Fire" (set to "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Mary Sues roasting on an open fire,
Minis nipping at their bones,
Bad fanfiction written by hormonal tweens
Making fan characters dressed like hos.

Ev'rybody knows poor spelling and obnoxious OCs
Can make a fanfic really bad,
The Mary Sues with eyes of gold
Find it hard to keep off their "twu luvs".

They don't know the PPC's on their way,
They've loaded all their weapons used to slay,
And ev'ry agent does aspire,
To see those Mary Sues fry.

And so I offer this simple phrase
To all you Mary Sues,
Although it's been said in may times, many ways,
"Get dead, you Sue".

...Yeah, it's not that good. You can use it if you want.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provide receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here are some coconuts. You know how many.
-Mad Maudlin

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it!

I'm planning on doing some Sue-slaying in the future (as soon as I get Permission, of course), particulary some of the crap from that list.

But I'll have to wait a bit, though.

Fire's too good for it. Anyway, here's a Lightsaber for your troubles, as a recruitment gift.

Unm... hi. I'm just starting out on here, but I've been following the adventures of the PPC for a while now.

I like to write fanfics, and hope to become a published writer, but I still feel I can make improvements. But I have a considerable dislike of Mary Sues, as they make writing a good story... trickier, I guess. And they're really annoying.

Therefore, I have finally made a venture to post with the board (under a handle I hope is okay), bringing with me a humble offering of a list of horrendous badfic, that by all accounts and means, must die horribly: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Horrible/Fanfic

I hope to really become a part of the PPC experience soon!

Sorry!

And a research paper on Multiversal Physics.

Flood it with water, instead.

Here's an MST of the first fic:

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Refia/index.php?showtopic=118&hl=

Isn't it funny?

Here's mine: "The Agents Never Sleep" to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". (Disclaimer: I can never remember where to put the comma in that title.) I'll record it, too, if I can get my mic to work. :D


God rest ye, weary Agents
The holiday is here
And yet you dread the beeping of
The console that lies near
For though this is a holiday
Your duties are still clear

So the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the Agents never sleep

Get off your lazy buttocks,
The Sunflower commands
There’s Sues on the horizon now;
I’ll play the call to arms.
In sending troops to battle
The Flower has no qualms

So the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the Agents never sleep

And so the Agents march
Their footsteps crunching in the snow;
They hunt a Mary-Sue to ground
And end her sordid show
Her author thought that she was safe
But now the world will know

That the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
That the Agents never sleep