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I think even Vulcans would need hugs after what Star Trek XI did to them.

Okay, a while ago, I posted the following five paragraphs asking for help. Then what happened? My access to the site was cut off. I only got a chance to read one reply, let alone respond to that. Fortunately, my access is back again and I had saved the question in a Word file. So here we go... again...

Does Pokémon have any logic in whatsoever? Because I’ve got a fic in progress but, as I’m trying to go for a thought-out story, I’m thinking about all the wacky things that tend to happen in it. Let’s ignore the whole romantic tension between ten-year-old and the fact that said ten-year-olds can defeat a crime syndicate time and time again and that no-one ever ages (does anyone age in any cartoon/anime? (Pokémon’s anime, right?)).

Pokéballs: is there a logical explanation for the fact that metal, which seems to have a lot of electronics inside, can expand from the size of my big toe to the size of my palm? Is there an explanation for the fact that Pokémon, random creatures with at least 493 species, can all be shot at with a… laser(?) and turned into a laser and sucked into a Pokéball (which then is compressed back to toe-size)? Is there a logical explanation for how they come out (in a weird flash of white light)? Hell, is there an explanation for how they can sometimes come out on their own? They can’t be in stasis of any sort, because they generally seem to know what’s going on (also, they’d be angry if all they ever saw was battle after battle). Also, they seem to heal between battles even if they haven’t been sprayed with Salvon or whatever’s in that bottle they sometimes use. And if they’re not in stasis, then can they starve to death if they’re not let out for a long time?

Pokémon Evolution: How the hell do they evolve so constantly? And why do they glow when it happens? They only seem to need to beat up a few other Pokémon to evolve (or have a catalyst in the form of a magic rock, of which an explanation would also be useful). At least Digimon had an explanation: they were all pieces of data, so they could happily switch back and forth between all sorts of evolutionary stages. Also, the Digidestineds’ Digivices (Digithis, Digithat) seemed to act as a trigger. But Pokémon has no explanation. And what’s up with Eevee? It can evolve into one of five things???

Pokémon Attacks: Some can be explained. Psychic attacks simply require brainpower, fire attacks obviously come from a fuel source within the Pokémon et cetera. But were does the water in Water Gun come from? How do they form explosive(?) bubbles with Bubble Beam? Where do all these razor-sharp (and as strong as steel) leaves and infinitely long vines come from with Grass-types and their Razor Leaf and Vine Whip attacks?

This wasn’t meant to be as long as it was, but I spotted more and more weird things as I went. Any help would be very appreciated. Also, if you can explain any more weird things that I’ve missed, that would be just as good. Even if you can’t explain them, point out the weird stuff so I know what to deweirdify.

Of course! They don't like the new Trek film. At all. *hugs nearest Vulcan*

I think it says something that the author of the first one has Keiran Halcyon in his/her favourite authors list...

http://animantx.deviantart.com/art/AtLA-LotR-Ozai-71160520

...Or not. Have Frodo's eyes turned into jelly beans?

I think the lack of replies from everyone else can safely be construed as replies in the negative. Guessing no one's familiar with any of them enough to call it either way.

Is there enough of the canon you do know mangled to make it bad?

it at once!

Because someone thought it was a good idea.

Keep in mind that this line of thought also brought us the airplane, the Internet, and chocolate chip cookies (though in that case it was more "hey, this mistake turned out to be a good idea, let's keep doing it"), so I never knock it too hard. The problem is never the idea. It's the execution of it, is where everyone fouls up.


As it stands, I'm sure there is a way to make a Warriors/SPC crossover work. But it would take a long time to think of one and an investment of even more time to make it work well. And that is the problem with most fanwriters; they never spend the time to give their work a once-over or even a twice-over.

I've had my second PPC mission plus interlude done for almost a week, but until I can find someone to beta it for me I'm not releasing jack diddly. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, and worth having others make sure you're doing it well.

At the most basic level, yes, Warriors is about the cats fighting an ongoing cat-scale war by Erin Hunter. I could write an essay on why that crossover makes no sense and needs to be killed ASAP. As in now if not sooner. Why do people write stuff like this? WHY???????!!!!!!!

on what exactly the other fandom was (other than the Pizza Cats, which I am familiar enough with to give a decent on-the-spot rendition of the Fan Club Oath if pressed), but now I think I know. Warriors is that book series about cats fighting basically a cat-scale war, right? By... *goes upstairs and digs book out of little brother's shelf* Erin Hunter?

I read the first one of those a while back out of sheer curiosity, but never really progressed onwards into the series (hence my extremely simplified summary of it). Even so, based off my experiences with that one book, this is a HELL of a crossover. I could write an essay on why this makes no sense.

Bleepnip-bleeprin infused catnip for feline agents, as I don't know what effect alcohol would have on them.

The ones I can't generally get shot before I tell anyone about them. Out of every ten ideas I get, I keep one.

Thank you. By the way, I think you may be able to salvage your crossover idea; with a little help. Good luck!

*fallsdowndead*

...and when it drives a PPC Boarder to use ten exclamation points, you know it's bad. Kill it, kill it now!

The pun was quite intentional. Hell, the entire American version of Samurai Pizza Cats is one gigantic Woolseyism, because when Saban got the rights to the show they-- for some reason-- were not given transcripts. So they wrote their entire own show.

Anime, not my strength. I've never even heard of these (with the possible exception of Gunslinger Girl).

I once used chat speak in IM and e-mails/PMs etc, simply because it was easier. Now, I've swapped to proper English for everything and I now find that easier. But yeah, that is a bit stupid really.

I still think advertising as a beta reader in chat speak is worse though.

He takes less time than usual to learn weapons, but not due to being Eragon. He learns languages and the basics of weaponry skills as he unlocks more of Glorgathon's memories, but he still requires training for a long time to truly master either.

As for Tenth Walker, don't worry. I'm aware of how much that deserves to join the fate of the Ring. Basically, Harry was just going to hear rumours and hop around from place to place getting caught up in battles (or just happens to be staying in a certain spot when stuff happens). For example, if the human love interest gets kept, Harry might go to Minas Tirith and say goodbye to her as the civilians all run off, then he might stick around with the soldiers.

And is there any crossover that truly works? Surely every fandom contradicts every other fandom in some way?

Not looking into this I will.

...A'IGHT, THIS GOES TOO FAR! I HAVE SEEN BLACKSTAR GO TO CANDY MOUNTAIN, I'VE SEEN FIRESTAR AND JAYPAW BECOME BUTTERFLYMAN AND MOTH LAD (actually, those two were kinda funny) BUT THIS JUST TOPS IT ALL!

When I find who created this monstrosity, limbs will be lost! And none of them will be mine!

*starts chanting a la Lord of the Flies* Kill the fic! Bash it in! Spill its blood!

It's not like we'd actually do it. Although, I am going to Kill that crossover so dead it has no hope of coming back to life. Even if I have to set "Little Tokyo" *gags* on fire and the fic won't be able to come back even if the author writes another chapter. *steals flamethrowers*