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Because have I got a fic for you!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1828598/1/

I personally think, that had this been in a more well-known fandom, this could easily qualify for Legendary Badfic. It has all the hallmarks, namely, really graphic and badly-written sex, violence, and cliches.

In this fic, we are introduced to Experiments 411 and 412, a hooker and a pimp designed to cause political sex scandals. Hunkahunka returns, modified by Hamsterviel to stimulate sex drives instead of just infatuation. Mertle gets pecked and tries to marry Lilo, also, Jumba and Nani get pecked and rape Pleakley. Angel, now a musical theater diva, has her co-star in "Phantom of the Opera" get pecked and think he really IS the Phantom of the Opera. Finder humps a tree. Lots of Experiments have sex and die. Hamsterviel abuses his Experiments (despite them being his own financial property) and can shoot lightning. And then... there's Karnax...

Experiment 001 was created brain-dead, so Jumba conjured up the soul of a war god, Karnax, to possess the body. Now, this TECHNICALLY isn't a Charge (we didn't know who Experiment 001 was at the time this was written), but I think the presence of magic in "Lilo & Stitch" is. Karnax kills people bloodily, including the hooker, whom he rips in half and then forges each half into a sword. He kills Nani too, as it turns out she's pregnant and he eviscerates her to get the baby. And it ends with a hook for a sequel...

If no one wants this, I'll take it.

...Glitter prevents sentience, but it creates imitations of souls...?

I spy a bit of a bias here.

Yep, that's right. After nearly two months, a good few weeks of which I didn't even want to touch it, I've finally finished my second mission for the PPC. Can't say I enjoyed having to write it, but I'm really glad to see this particular Sue dispatched.

http://rc5593.webs.com/mission2.htm

There you go, hope you enjoy it. I should say, the mission is rather long, so please be sure you have a good chunk of free time before reading it. Now, for the warnings: The mission in question contains violence, including a rather detailed description of a fight that occurs later on, blood from both Agents and Sues, and instances of adult language. However, I've taken pains to make sure it remains work safe. The warning is repeated in the disclaimer, almost verbatim.

Now, on to more fun things. One of the four hammerspace knives has been reserved by Cassie Cameron-Young, but if you wish to obtain one, just request such here and say which of your Agents you would like to have buy the weapon. Keep in mind that Big Murphy, the character to whom the knives are pawned, will not sell them cheaply, but other than that there's pretty much no strings attached. Just be sure you've actually read how the knives are described in the mission to help with using them and such, though that's more advice than anything.

Now, on to minis. I acquired five mini-P.A.s over the course of the mission, would anybody like to adopt one?

"How thoughtful of you. But I must admit, I had only stopped by out of curiosity, and the atmosphere is beginning to wear on my nerves somewhat."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, adding, "That moment of silence a little while previously was the most properly respectful part of the whole affair. Honestly, they're like Klingons... my people have a proper reverence for the dead."

There was a low hiss to his words now, which intensified as he said, "But of course, this place is not very hospitable to Cardassians in any case... tsk," he chided himself, "all that talk of Astatine has been forcing me to dwell on the past too long."

The smile he offered was slightly forced, but his voice remained velvety as always. "Kotra sounds delightful. Shall we go?"

In fact, story reasons may override any suvian charatheristics as long as the Author demands it. That further strengthens the theory that Glitter is tied to the will of whoever runs the story. Since Semi-Suvian OC's have only been recruited when the Author's attention is removed from them, that could mean that if the Sue could be cut off from it's Author's baleful influence (through Glitter withrawal or the severing of the mystical link itself), it can gain non-suvian traits, like sentience and common sense. Of course, only a few main characters and many side ones have only been cut off from Authorial influence, so I can't say for sure.

That means that some may have stomachs that function the same way as humans, although the fact that they stay thin even after they 'give up their bad habit' may mean that this is a red herring. Also, there are indications that their reproductive systems function differently than those of humans. The lack of menustration whih I mentioned in the other post is only one of them. For example, almost no genetic defects relating to looks and personality traits are passed down Suvian children.

Also, it's possible that the Glitter in the Sue's blood is a mutagen tied to the author's will. This explains why Increasing or Decreasing the level of it adds to Suvian charactheristics (Intelligentpetin and other substances may also have an effect). Since the consensus is that Marysues are non-sentient, it could also mean that the glitter can prevent sentience from forming, although it can create an imitation of the soul(purposefully made to be sucked out to advance the story's 'plot
). I make no definite conclusions, however.

"It's fine," she smiled up at him, "Ya could talk in Klingon an' I wouldn't give a damn right now." Then the irony of the situation struck her, and she couldn't hold back a wry laugh. They were at a celebration to remember the dead, and she was feeling so alive...

"Wonder what Sara an' Cass'd say if they could see us," she commented, running her hand through his hair and trying to smooth it back into some semblance of order.

Meanwhile, Kelvin finally caught sight of them again, having lost them in the crowd of dancers before. He watched them quietly, a fond smile on his face. At least they looked happy enough.

That brings me up to four, plus two. And after realizing I made a slight miscount, that means I'm only shipping off 14 to the CAF.

Name-take has been noted.

They get pregnant easily yet don't bleed? That sounds awfully familiar... *sigh* Send them over, this sounds like one for the DMpreg. *hefts bell, book, candle and debugger*

...What? I can steal Trojie's hat if I want to. :P

How long you live is determined by your cells' ability to regenerate, if memory serves. They keep replacing themselves throughout your life but as you get older they get less good at it. That's a really bad way of explaining it, but most of the details are buried in either a) the back of my brain or b) one of my books downstairs which I can't be bothered to go get. But basically if your cells could always regenerate perfectly then, barring illness, you could live pretty much forever.

Decomposition is more about bacteria and such eating you when you're dead. Would bacteria like the taste of Sue? Can bacteria discriminate like that? Could Sues perhaps be poisonous to bacteria? Or extra tasty? Who knows.

At a guess I'd say the only nourishment they take from normal human food is the sugar (for that special saccharine sparkliness), and possibly such things as aspartame and monosodium glutamate. So unless they're living on chocolate and junk food, calorie intake would be minimal, thus explaining the gaunt physique.

Also on the drinking front, the idea of getting absolutely trashed as a means of being sociable and not to facilitate angst is clearly utterly alien.

"I think so, too. I mean, that I love you, not--oh, bugger," he groaned, blushing furiously.

Mouth, meet brain. Brain, meet mouth. Now connect and communicate.

Zach leaned against the wall to his back and savored the woman in his arms, enjoying the fact that she seemed to fit there nicely.

That's not organs, I know, but it is biology. What makes someone live for longer? *didn't do past GCSE biology* I wonder if their bodies decompose at the same rate as a human... And probably shouldn't be wanting to test that now.

Also, on livers and alcohol, there doesn't seem to be an in between between "total lightweight" and "never, ever drunk", so clearly some of them are just defective.

I'd say that they don't absorb calories in the same way as a human either. Maybe the shrunken stomach like WikiMaster suggested, or maybe it's something to do with the intestines.

They are less important to the regular maintenance of the body than ours are; judging by the fact that 'natural' Marysue deaths take very long, with few exceptions. Also, the majority of badfics indicate that Sues have hearts (To be pirced through by arrows to produce a 'tragic death'), lungs (to scream at the top of), and stomachs (though they may be shrunken, in order to preserve the Sue's thin body). They also seem to be unable to menustrate, even though they can get pregnant at an alarming rate. It is unknown if those are related.

However, there's no theory yet that covers the composition of their 'soft parts'. Sorry!

A lot of mini-Balrogs have that problem. Middle Earth, for example. Poor little fellow, I rescued him on my first mission.

But I asked around beforehand (and did some checking) and there are prior cases of minis being created because of capitalization errors.

Or, at least, that was the general consensus last time I checked.

she hesitated for a moment, then said quietly, "Zach... I think I've fallen in love with ya."

...Oh, nice one. Really smart.

Despite that, voicing it made it all the more real, and she snuggled into him, enjoying the comfortable warmth of his closeness.

I was talking with Cassie, and the question of Sue organs came up. We know how a Sue looks externally. But, has anyone done an autopsy on a Sue? Are there any internal organs on a Sue? Or any extra ones? How is their brain chemistry different from normal ones?

Also, in the name of Agent Naomi, if the internal workings of Sues are different, what non lethal poisons are there that will humiliate them?

Yeah. It's just… something that bugged me with the Minis, y'know? Not entirely sure it counts.

Or she could have been one of those people who Capitalizes Every Word For No Damned Reason.

Yeah, capitalization is separate from spelling- hence my including it as a separate charge, despite combining the counts of charges. But I lump it into the same category of "things you can fix with a beta-reader".

Rather than misspelling proper, though.

And hey, at least it wasn't alternating caps and non-caps, right? Written backwards, to boot. That was not fun.