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because I definitely sent you a script! I did wonder why I never heard back ... I blame gmail.

Anyway, fear not, because we still have some voices left! I can send you a script if you like - email me at trojanhorseshadowfax AT gmail DOT com (just in case the email address I have for you is incorrectly spelled or something and that's why the first script never came through) and I'll see what I can sort out for you :D

Cheers!

Oh, sorry, I thought you were responding to something else. So, you're saying that I should write the fanfic? Just want to make sure.

So, you're the one who's going to be tearing this thing apart?

Playing the game with U2 members' birthdates is even funnier. Especially Edge's and Larry's (seriously, reading Celebrian to the SO or throwing a spork at the President??? Well, not that usurpating the Doctor's identity or forming a rock band with Han Solo instead of Edge, Adam and Larry is any better.)

Well, one of my agents recruited Sauron, another formed a rock band with his lust object (lol, he has none) and the third one... wrote a lemon between Boromir and Peter Petrelli!!! OMG

All cited people now have the creepy feeling they made mistakes... and I agree with them, lol.

I insulted the mom of Legolas but I now have the creeping suspicion that it was a mistake.

First, select the month of your birth...

January: I recruited
February: I stole the One Ring from
March: I usurped the identity of
April: I went flamethrower-crazy on
May: I formed a rock band with
June: I wrote a lemon involving Boromir and
July: I kidnapped
August: I read C***b***n to
September: I insulted the mom of
October: I threw a spork at
November: I pledged eternal allegiance to
December: I exorcised


...then the day...

1: Albus Dumbledore
2: J. R. R. Tolkien
3: Captain Jack Sparrow
4: Agent Acacia
5: Rorschach
6: every single Suethor
7: Cthulhu
8: the Sunflower Official
9: Rose Potter
10: Han Solo
11: Eragon
12: some rabid fangirl
13: the Doctor
14: Sauron
15: the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
16: Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
17: Peter Petrelli
18: Darth Vader
19: the Joker
20: J. K. Rowling
21: Agent Lux
22: Severus Snape
23: Big Brother
24: Legolas
25: Agent Jay
26: the entire Happy Tree Friends cast
27: the Master
28: my #1 lust object
29: Makes-Things
30: Sirius Black
31: Barack Obama


...then the year.

1983 or before: but I now have the creeping suspicion that it was a mistake.
1984: in an attempt to commit suicide.
1985: because the voices told me to.
1986: but, seriously, who cares?
1987: while I was drunk.
1988: out of boredom.
1989: and got fined $32 for it.
1990: and greatly enjoyed the experience.
1991: and still wonder why the hell I did that.
1992: just to attract his/her/their attention.
1993: to fulfill a prophecy.
1994: and beg my fellow PPC agents for forgiveness.
1995 or after: but everyone laughed at me.



I was born on December 21st, 1988. That gives me: I exorcised Agent Lux out of boredom.

If it's all right with you, I'd rather not post anything about my agents until I've officially become a member of the PPC. That way I can worry about my agents without school work interfering.

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Montreuil

Thank you!

-weeps at being usurped as the hardcore Indiana Jones fan-

I shall check our records immediately. An email address would be helpful... I can't find the one you sent me.

I have to add a disclaimer to this, I do not own LotR nor to I own Bold Font, though she is a good friend. Sorry for any and all spelling mistakes, I have no spell check right now.



Leto and Milask were sitting in the PPC General Store during a very odd quiet time. The minis were stocking the shelves with latest barterings from the agents, one notable thing to come in recently was a box from the Who verse. No not a Tardis, but it relied on many of the same principles.

Milask is humanoid cat standing about 150cm (5 feet), was lounging in the back room when his fur stood on end. "What is happening out there Leto?"

Leto, a young (dare I say it) man called back, "what do you mean?"

"I am getting this creapy fealing that something has come up that needs emergency repair," Milask yelled back. "Just when I was about to nod off, too."

"What ever it is, we will just send it to HQ. They owe us enough..." Leto finished with a mutter.

Milask tried to go back to that semi vegitative state that he loves to assume when he got the chance. It wasn`t often, specially when his best friend`s wife was a dragon. Literally. She could transform into any form and size that she wanted, due to the ability to share L-space. Currently she was in her lab trying to make some new concotions to sell. Her form was that of a 14 year old Japanese girl. Milask would call her jail bait if he wasn`t affraid of getting his head bitten off figuatively by Leto and litterally by the dragon herself. Life is interesting, not necessarily safe.

Milask couldn`t get to sleep, the pressure to his sixth sence was starting to get uncomfortable. Like when someone scratching in one place constantly for about an hour.

"Are you sure nothing is happening out there?" Milask yelled out to Leto. There was no reply. "What? You trying to be funny now?" Milask jumped to his feet and went to the door that lead to the store proper. Something was telling him that he was not going to like what he would see on the other side.

Instead of yanking the door open like he was origionally planning he cautiously opened the door a small amount. Only to have the door punch him in the gut when Smeagul, the mini-balrog, pushed it forcefully from the other side. Smeagul was not happy. Now Milask`s curriosity was truly stilled. There is truth in the maxim `curriosity killed the cat` and Milask had already lost a couple. It was times like this where he didn`t know if he is glade or not about the minis ablity to speak. All he knew was the Smeagul what mad.

"Calm down, I`m sure that we can fix what ever is out there. Is Leto still out there?" When Smeagul shook his head, Milask knew he was in for Interesting Times.

"Don`t worry, I am sure that we can get your toy back," Leto hated when Milask refered to him as Smeagul`s plaything. But being a cat, Milask didn`t care.

Going back to the door, Milask opened it fully. Smeagul got out, so there couldn`t be anything dangerous in the immidiate vacinity.　What he saw was the black box in the middle of the floor, crap.

Taking his time, Milask went to the shelves and graped a portal generator, a couple of disguse kits and a emergency kit. The only place where he would blend in would be the Rifts continuum and the later age of Dr Who. Not a very broad range.

Then he touched the box.

****************

Milask woke up in a place that could only be described as downtown Brooklyn. Leto was beside him in his shop clothes.

"`Bout time you got here," Leto said to him. "Unfortunatly, the portal generator doesn`t work and for once it isn`t because you landed on it and brock it."

It is common knowledge that no matter where you packed the generator. Be it in its own hard case or in the middle of a backpack, you will fall on it and it will break. Depending on how you packed it, that call be a very painful fall. The experienced agent will just carry it in his or her back pocket and have repair tools as part of his kit.

"I don`t think that this is a regular mission," Leto commented. "I mean, this world is fully formed and real. I almost got hit by a taxi after waking up. Wonder what is happening."

"Well we better find out fast, this disguse itches," Milask complained. Never mind that the disguses only bent light, Milask said that he could feal it.

Leto rolled his eyes at him and started looking around. Some music was comming from an open window. "Wonder what that is..." Milask started walking over to the window.

Inside was a girl sitting at a computer with the lable IGNIS in bold letters across the top of the moniter and a LotR game playing. "Daddy Sauron, can you get me some water please, I am at a difficult part of the war and I am thirsty!"

"Okay, that was strange.." Suddenly a tugging fealing at their navel caught them both and the scene went blank, they both passed out.

******************

The woke to find themselves in a desert. Now being of the variety of being that is covered in fur and dark fur at that, the sun was uncomfortable.

"Hey, aren`t those the Blue Mountains over there," Leto said pointing. "What are we doing in ME?"

"Don`t know, but what is with this desert?" Milask replied, "I thought this area was forests."

"That would put up in Elven territory then, we better change our disguses then," Leto muttered. He fiddled on the dial on Milask`s and his own disgise generator changed them to elf.

At this point a group of young women crested a dune not that far away. Their bickering started to get heated (pun intended). One was crying and one was rolling her eyes at everything. "And where are you precious elves." Was heard by the two men.

At that point, one of the girls saw them. The squwee must have been heard by the dogs in the southern deserts.

"HOT ELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leto never saw this in his life, but this girl was now in the middle of a flying glomp, and Milask was the target.

Milask side stepped yelled back, "Yes, I am a hot elf. The heat is killing me." To the girl that was now rolling down rest of the dune. "Are you responsible...." The tugging sensation came again and the two men passed out again.

**********************


When the revied again Leto started to get the fealing that he has done this before, but couldn`t remember where, or how he got out of it.

This time they found themselves in more of a Rohan type area. "Guess we will have to go back to human."

"Could you say that with a little less disgust, I am human you know," Leto said.

"You aren`t the one who has to make sure that your tail doesn`t exit the field," Milask shot back.

Suddenly, Jane, Leto`s wife, popped into exsistance. She didn`t look happy.

"What. Am. I. Doing. Here?" she accused the men.

"Love, I have no idea. We just found ourselves here ourselves." Leto said. "We just start to figure out what is going on, then we find ourselves somewhere else."

"Oh crap. We are in a Fill-the-Plothole." Jane said, she only looked fourteen currently, if you found out her true age, she would have to kill you. Not even Leto knew how old his wife was. But he did hear a funny story about Rome in its hayday that sounded...

The fealing clicked in Leto. "Great, we have have to get through these, then we can leave. that is why the portal generator isn`t working."

"You two maybe, but as soon as this scene is finished, I am out of here. Someone has to look after the hatchlings while you are here," Jane said. "Oh, and don`t waste time. You know how the minis get when you leave them alone for too long." Jane said with an evil grin.

From out of nowhere a battle started.

"Did you bring any weapons?" Leto asked Milask.

"No," came the rueful replie. "I thought that we could portal right out of here as soon as I found you."

"Then, RUN."

The three of them took off in different directions, soon they lost eachother. Que tugging sensation.

**********************

Milask and Leto awoke to find themselves in a chaotic area. The land was not keeping still. Now that the boys figued out what was happening, they just let it go on.

Soon they cam uppon a man that was spewing a strange aura.

"I thought that Bold Font kept him locked away in her sub conciousness." Leto said. "Nothing good can come of this..."

Thankfully that was when the tugging sensation came.

***********************

They woke to find themselves in a wilderland, and it was wilderous.

"What is that?" Milask asked. It looked like there was an elf floating by. "Wait, I thought that we were in ME. There is no flying elves in ME."

"Well, only if they are being flown somewhere by eagles," Leto replied. "Those things are huge."

A huge pressure come over the whole area, it felt like the pressure of logic. Just when it seamed as if there eyes where about to pop out, and eagle can into existance under the elf and they flew away.

"Guess that solves that..."

TUG *********************

They were woken by music. Leto`s musical education was not that good, but he knew a bad chord when he heard one. And this song had one.

"Hey, isn`t this Mirkwood?" Milask asked.

"You know, I think you are right," Leto replied.

After wandering around for a bit, something shifted in Milask`s vision and building poped into view. "Wowww, I think that we beter get out of here."

Milask lead them to along a path that seemed to leave to area. Luckly they were still in elven disgises. Soon they came uppon an whining sound. Since that seemed to be the only thing happening, Milask followed it and found a fighting erik.

There was what looked like a crying elf in the sand and one holding a practice sword standing nearby talking to another elf.

"I only got one strike to the head in and then he started crying like he did when he first came her as a child. I have no idea what went wrong." The one with the sword said.

"Give him another strick to the head, that may fix it," said the other elf. "I have seen this once before a couple of hundred years ago, that was what fixed it for me."

The man approached the black haired elf gave him a good thawk to the head. After the one on the ground came to himself again, 20 minutes later. "Oww, my splitting head. What happened?"

"I got a lucky strick in my lord, your lord father came at once when you passed out," said the elf holding the sword. "How are you fealing now, other than the headacke?"

"Like I just want to put my childhood behind me, I don`t know why..." Legolas said.

Tug ********************

They woke to find themselves sitting in the back of a classroom while the class was in full swing.

"What the hell," Milask muttered.

The teacher in the front of the room was looking at the black board with a `oblivious gavze`.

"What are we doing here?" Leto asked.

There was a scratching of a pencil near by when where was no one else writing. They were busy trying to figure out what a `gavze` and if it will be on the next test.

Finally, Milask could not stand it anymore and stood up and walked over the writting student. "Hey Leto," Milask called out. "I think we have out culprit right here."

Milask pulled the pencil out of the student`s fingures and the tugging sensation came back.

***************************

When they woke, they found themselves at a zoo. This was not an orginary zoo, it was a zoo in Middle Earth. They knew this because they were looking at two great big oliphants.

Above the cage were the signs Erestor and Glorfindel. Now normally when you have two males of any spcies together they will drive the other one off. That didn`t seem to be the case here.

"What is happening here," Milask asked. "Wait, they aren`t going to... No, NOOOOOO."

At this point the tugging sensation came and not a moment too soon.

***********************

"Well I hope you have had your fun boys." Jane said when they came too. "The hatchlings need to be fed. There is a cow to be quartered in the back, just give them a chunk of that. I have to go to HQ and get that box dealt with."

"Love you too, dear," Leto replied and went to find his children. "Man, I have a headacke. And don`t you dare say anything, anything at all..."

Milask just laughed and went back to the staff room.







Hope you liked that! I tried to add logic to all the stories. Leto

I won't reiterate what everyone else has already said, but welcome, and have some little green pills!

I voulenteered when this was first mooted, but I never got a script so couldn't record anything. I guessed you just has too many voice actors for the parts availible.
:(

This means that I'm inherently scary and/or badass now. Awesome!

Ooh! Can I have one of those Australian ones with corks?

I found it amusing more than anything. Nice story.

I claim the ridiculously oversized Indiana Jones-style one! *puts it on and prances around looking ridiculous*

There are also other mistakes, my bad. So, what's the overall assesment?

Thranduil, Legolas, and the rest of their hunting party rode to the village at breakneck speed, chastising themselves for not evacuating the inhabitants when Dol Guldur's power begean to extend to Mirkwood's northern reaches.

When they got there, all was in chaos. Many of the villagers were former warriors, some of them veterans of the War of the Last Alliance, and thus were able to defend themselves better than most. Several militia and border the troops had also arrived from their postings, and while their numbers were inadequate, they still put up enough of a fight to delay the orcs.

Thranduil let off a couple of bowshots from horseback, and then charged; scattering the attackers. The rest of the party followed suit.

They fought for the next several minutes, rallying the defenders to rout the orcish raiders.When the fighting was over, they spoke to the village leader, an elf who,after Oropher's death, had foresworn war and settled down in this once-peaceful part of the kingdom.

"Forgive us for coming late to this battle. We were only informed some time earlier in the morning."

"Milord, this village woudn't have survived if you hadn't come. I thank you."

"The rest of the party will stay here and help the people rebuild; while I and Legolas go back to the wounded warrior who alerted us to this raid."

"Very well. Farewell!"

Legolas and his Father rode back to where they had found the wounded man, and were relived to find out he was still alive. They had wanted to leave one of the party members with him, but he had insisted that all, of them must go, so as to increase the chances of victory.

"The village has been saved. Are you all right? The wound doesn't look fatal, but it may have come from a poisoned blade."

"Good. I'm...glad that you got there in time."

"Let's take you to the halls, then."

After bringing the warrior inside the tunnels, Legolas and his father went into his private study, where They discussed the ramifications of the attack.

"They've never come so near to our home before. That means that they're getting bolder, and that there's a reason for it."

"The Necromancer?"

"Yes. We must be wary. If only those fools had listened to Gandalf when he told them that Dol Guldur must be attacked, and soon."

"It was Saruman that swayed them, ada. Remember, even we tought it was a good desicion."

"Yes, but no longer. When the next meeting comes, we shall join Gandalf in asking for an attack, and not rest until we have made the thrat clear."

"I hope we suceed, ada."

"If we don't, then our time in Middle-Earth is short."