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We had to knock my agent up to deal with that. Not for the faint-hearted, certainly.

Have an OED. It's handy both for reference and for beating canons.

We do not really need to know whether Heliomance is holding you or not. (For all we know, he may be perfectly entitled to.) However, being held hostage is never a good thing. If you are, feel free to smite him with your OED and any other shinies you've been swamped by.

You're totally under duress, aren't you? Poke him in the eye.

Welcome to this realm of chocolate, sporks and being utterly 31337. *pokes Relden's sanity with a stick* Agh! It moved!
Here, have some Suenicorn jerky-it's been through detox, which negates the side effects of excessive giddiness and attraction to the color pink. Also, have a coconut; if you do awesome things, I will give you more, and you can accumulate a Lovely Bunch.
Shiny happy,
Maudlin

Not asking under duress? Good, then, we won't have to commit violence. Though I wonder why you'd be so specific about what you're not doing... ^_^ *happily oblivious*

Ah well.
Well met, and as the others have said, do feel free to leave your sanity by the door. I don't think you'll need it.

All right. First off, tell me there's someone else familiar with that canon here? Pretty please?

And second off, I've just encountered 'Coral castle' and its little cousin, 'coral castle'. Now if only I knew what they were.

So there's a few options, I think. Mini-cheagles? Cheagles are sort of iconic, but mini-cheagles would be... well... tiny.

Mini-ligers? Nice and vicious. Plus they show up everywhere.

Or... um... yes, I'm out of ideas. Help. Please.

Welcome to the PPC. Resistance is futile.

I do hereby gift you with chocolate, a knife in the size and style of your choice, and, more importantly, a towel.

I gift you with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Enjoy the insanity!

You seem unusual, but worry not, we do not (usually) bite.

I suggest you wander over to the PPC Wiki to browse through the informative selection of articles contained within. A reading of The Original Series (please do not confuse this with Star Trek) might be in order also.

I must warn you though, that if anyone gives you a link to any Legendary Badfic, it is advisable not to click on them. Reading them, even the summaries or the missions, has been known to scar unwary minds. The Legendary Goodfic on the other hand are perfectly safe to read.

Please, enter further and do not be afraid. You will be welcome... wait, why the heck am I talking like this? Come in, have fun and leave your sanity at the door. You won't need it here.

*hands Relden a P-90 and a spear and wanders off humming a tune*

Wizarding Law is different? And a rather large part of my brain snorts at that and says 'yeah, homosexuality's probably still banned because it doesn't carry on a family name through the production of offspring and heirs'.

Although fanbrats seem to get around that with MPreg spells and potions most of the time. If I had a quid for every 'Draco is really Lucius and [other male's] son' fic I'd seen, I'd be a rich Ansela. Especially if I added the Harry is James/x's fics as well.

Most of the time, characters need to grow and develop in order to be interesting. Personality quirks make them entertaining, which is also important for this kind of writing, but it's their development as people that makes readers care about them.

At least, that's the theory. And also the basis from which I'm working with my own pair of agents, though the growth only really applies to one of them (the other just has not-blatantly-touted secrets) and has only begun in earnest with the end of their third mission. So... take that for whatever it might be worth. {= )

~Neshomeh, who wonders if you're actually requesting Permission or not.

That... is actually a really good point, and one which I hadn't thought of. Do you have any suggestions for maintaining momentum?

The first mission is easy, and the second usually fairly straightforward, but trust me when I say that if your agents don't have enough texture, it gets really hard to be creative when you've reached your third or fourth mission.

That said, am not a PG, so take this as friendly advice.

*hands over a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

Welcome to the PPC.

Nice to meet you, however not-under-duress you may seem.

*cautiously hands over a welcome gift; Bleeprin*

One thing I must clarify: If, by asking to "join the PPC", you mean this message board, then you are, of course, very welcome. If you mean you want to "join" as in write your own missions, you'll have to wait at least a month before asking for Permission.

That said, welcome. :)

I think they could anyway. It was a long time before lesbian acts were even recognised in law. The in the house bit relates to privacy - it became legal for two men aged over 18 to mutually consent to buggery, but only in private, and private was defined as "no one else in the building, not even on the other side of a locked door".

So much for all those gay Marauder orgy stories, then.

One night stands don't automatically equal taking advantage. They're usually perfectly consensual.

*silently passes exploding cigar*

It may come in handy in continuing your lack of duress that which you came to ask to join the PPC with.

Or something like that anyway. *I'm* not even sure what I meant there.

Ny name is Relden Calder.
No, this is not my real name, so don't ask.
I am not typing this message under duress.
I am not being held by Heliomance, a person I used to consider a friend.

I would like to ask to join the PPC.
To reiterate, I am not asking this under duress.

Certainly he's not meant to be perfect. He's as competant as any agent, and the fact that he's less prone to insanity or homicidal rage doesn't mean he has an easy job. It's not going to be "Mulhoon turns up, everything fixes itself" like it was with Jaycacia. He just copes by snarling at everyone and being generally grumpy, along with strong coffee, and probably cigarettes.

It's mainly meant to be a reflection of the fact that apparently I'm immune to the worse effects of badfic, having managed both Celebrian and Draco's Christmas Cuppa so far without a flinch. I'd try reading the other legendary badfics if I knew where to find them.

Fighting badfic, especially graphic badfic, has been described multiple times as being a very sanity-challenging job - see Agent Len's episode with the flamethrower. While it's certainly possible that an agent has been around for a very long time, and it's also possible that he's pretty much numb to the effects of graphic badfic, there's really no way he can manage to have both of those and still be a normal person. I would suggest that Agent Mulhoon should have some (or several) psychosises, neurosies, pet peeves that whip him into a killing frenzy, and so on, both to be more reasonable and to be more entertaining. It's a lot more fun to read a PPCing where the agents actually react to the fic, after all.

Either that or you could have him be a robot, but that should probably be stated explicitly.

Your writing is quite good, but Agent Mulhoon comes across as more than a bit of a Marty Stu - and that's not a good thing.

Returning to the internet for a brief spell, I proudly present my third PPC mission, which introduces another Agent. It's a two-parter, as ot was just too long for a single LJ post. I hope you enjoy it.

Linkage:
http://cassie5squared.livejournal.com/16057.html is part one, and
http://cassie5squared.livejournal.com/16349.html is part two.

And yes, this is the source of the incident that caused the arrest at the end of the Christmas party.

The Human Rights Act has done something useful?!?!

What about women? Can lesbians have sex while others are in the building?

Homosexual acts decriminalised in 1967 in England and Wales. Ditto in Scotland in 1980 and Ireland in 1984. Age of consent lowered from 21 to 18 in 1994. From 1997 attempts were made to lower it to 16 so as not to breach the European Convention on Human Rights, but Lords kept blocking it. Finally passed in 2000 despite the resistance of Lords, but was superseded in 2004 by the Sexual Offences Act 2003, which basically removed any gender-specificality from sexual acts, and also incidentally made it legal for two men to engage in homosexual acts while other people were elsewhere in the building.