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as Cassie dragged her to the middle of the dance floor and let her go to seek another victim. Dancing wasn't one of Ansela's favourite activities, but she could do it, as long as the people around her didn't mind crushed toes and black eyes anyway.

Bumping into someone, Ansela turned to apologise, only to falter at the amused look on their face. Tracking their gaze upwards, she noticed the mistletoe hanging above their heads...

No Ben Barnes. Talk about a downer!

*sigh* Well, Miss Cam converted me over to the BSG fandom, and I got oodles of notebooks and chocolate. Not much else.

((Though Oozaru twisted the words a little. ;]))
Christianne started piling her platter with food and drink, particularly the alcoholic type. Eledhwen, having filled herself up with chocolate and was thus on a sugar high (if that was ever possible for an Elf) was trying to twist the words to a popular Christmas song to suit her own needs.
"Frak the halls with Laura Roslin, falalalalalalala!"
Lori rolled her eyes, muttering something that sounded like "She's lost her frakking mind. I don't think Elves would sing that."

Since it was in some earlier information stuff that you don't get Mini-Agents because the mission can be edited and fixed, and on a similar but unrelated note, pretty sure that you can't get Minis from IMs, either.

... which makes me sad that the OFUR is set before it came out. It's already showing a few potential Sue-death methods, though.

I felt as though I'd fallen into a Sue's Christmas when I saw my sister's collection. If there was a single thing in it that wasn't pink and/or sparkly, I'm a Flower. I felt like scrambling for the nearest sharp pointy, but that was a nail file, so it wouldn't have done much damage anyway.

Though I don't know whether to be flattered or worried. :)

Seriously, though, I'm glad you like it.

Alas, I have no gifts for you yet. But then, I haven't gotten gifts for anyone else yet, either. ... It's been one of those years.

As a substitute, I give you the first part of the FicPsych story I'm working on and one more chance to contribute to the flavor of the thing with suggestions for canon characters and the badfics they came from.

~*~

The power snapped out.

Imagine, if you will, that you are standing on a beach somewhere. It doesn't particularly matter what beach. Imagine that the day is calm and that the waves lap gently against the shore. Imagine the soft hissing noise as the water slides back through the sand into the sea. Imagine the silence as the next wave gathers.

The next wave is a tsunami.

In the Department of Fictional Psychology, Suvian voices crashed through the walls with the force of a sonic boom. Even the combined cries of the canon characters couldn't completely cover the insidious suggestions slicing through the air (or arrest the author's arbitrary alliteration).

Head Nurse Suzine forcibly spat out her decaf Bloffee before she could choke on it. The spray drenched the potted fern hanging around the donut table, but completely missed her white skirt. No one quite knew how she managed these things.

Was that necessary? said the fern. Not that I dislike Bloffee, but really.

"No power. No Four-S," Suzine replied. "This is Bad." She put her mug down on the nearest surface and fumbled her way to the supply cabinet. She always made sure the nurses' lounge had an emergency cache of the most popular sedatives, just in case a situation arose that couldn't wait for access to the B-ware, as the heavily-guarded supplies in Unit B were affectionately known. This was definitely one of those situations. After some trial and error with her keyring, she got the cabinet unlocked, and not a moment too soon. As predicted, the nurses came running.

Well, not running, really, as that would have caused them all to fall over themselves in the darkness. It was more of a rapid shuffle. Suzine switched on a penlight from the cabinet and shone it at the doorway, nearly blinding Nurse Elms and Nurse Pablum.

"Oh boy, I'm glad you're here," said Nurse Elms, whose uniform was rather singed. "I don't know what's going on, but if we don't get Raistlin contained immediately—"

Suzine waved Elms silent. "What's his condition?"

"Post-Traumatic Bad Slash Syndrome," said Elms. "He keeps switching between looking for Tanis Half-Elven and being sick, screaming 'oh gods why?!', and trying to blast us with lightning."

"He's praying to Bilius?" remarked Nurse Parwill from behind her.

"Shush, you."

Suzine sighed. "Fine. Take this." She handed Elms a small frying pan from the sedatives cabinet. It was made of aluminum and said "No. 2 – Mild" on the bottom. Beneath that, in a smaller parenthetical note, it said "1d6."

"Thanks!" said Elms, who turned and pushed her way back through the crowd.

"Next?" said Suzine, and Nurse Dewstan stepped up.

"Woobie!Legolas; keeps violently cuddling anyone who gets too close."

"And taking his pants off," added Nurse Pablum.

"And taking his pants off."

Several nurses curled their lips.

"I see," said Suzine. She considered for a moment, then selected something that resembled a small baby bottle with a candy nipple. "Wet the candy bit in his mouth, stick it in the bottle, shake it up, and put it back in his mouth. Repeat until he goes to sleep. I think this one is Dorwinion wine–‏‏flavored. Next?"

~*~

I will endeavor to find enough privacy to do some recording over the next couple of weeks. Again, Merry Christmas!

~Neshomeh

Did anyone receive a Christmas/Chanukah gift that instantly made them think "PPC!"?

I got a t-shirt that says "We're all quite mad here. You'll fit right in!", which, for obvious reasons, just screams PPC.

And I also ended up with a stuffed loon. I get the feeling someone's giving me a not-so-subtle hint...XD

*hands everyone electrum-decorated, paired lightsporks* Don't ask how I got that much electrum. They can be joined to form a double-blade, or used separately. Each one contains a Kaiburr crystal (From KotOR-verse; if you're very lucky, you can get a decent amount of them randomly), a Topic Shard (from all of those topic breaks), and a Logic Fragment (Logic shatters under pressure from badfic). Yes, those last two seem to appear as shiny crystalline objects. The lightsporks could be any color, because having every one of them red from the Kaiburrs might not be such a good idea, and the other pseudo-crystals vary heavily in color. Enjoy the shiny objects!

'as to pull Boromir though the threads of magic had been the final straw, she was tired from training as well. All her Elven-strength had left her. Legolas went forward immediately after she fell, and touched her

Nat: Don't.
Cassie: *looks innocent*

forehead. Usually he could see inside her head, feel her

Nat: Or that one.
Cassie: *even more innocent*

feelings, and most of all when he touched her

Nat: ...Oh, for Eru's sake...
Cassie: *angelic*'

Pure Win. I am now your devoted fan / whipping boy.

Visited family in the inner and outer western parts, might visit those in the north.

Kelvin and Nat were busy trying to ignore them and make conversation with Kumori. However, this became much more difficult when Cassie found a CD player and a whole boxful of Christmas CDs. She put the first one on, and the sound of Live Aid filled the room- at full volume.

The tipsy young woman then proceeded to drag everyone she could onto the dance floor.

Deryn paused from trying to surreptitiously sneak some of the Bleep-products into her bag to stare aghast at the boombox. "What- who thinks a boombox is appropriate for music around Christmas?" she spluttered. "What happened to everyone, you know, getting together and singing- off-key, sometimes, I'll grant, but- singing carols?"

"What about CDs?" Leas asked, reaching into his bag.

Deryn waved a hand. "Background music for when the conversation falters, and if you sing along, mostly you're going to be loud-" She stopped when Leas pushed a board and attachable beard into her hands. "Um?"

Leas smiled. "The human touch, right?" he said, pulling out a hat for himself.

Deryn put the board down for a moment to put the beard on, the picked the board up again and gave it an experimental wobble. "I'm not sure about this…"

"I don't think it uses the wobble board much, so you should be fine there," Leas said. "Now, note… hmm…" Deryn joined him after a moment, and they hummed together for a little while. "All right, got it?"

"Got it," Deryn said, giving the board another wobble. She took a deep breath. She could do this.

"And a one, a two, a one two three and-"

"Early on one Christmas morn a joey kangaroo
Was far from home and lost in a great big zoo
'Mummy… where's my mummy? They've taken her away.'"

"'We'll help you find you mummy, son. Hop up on the sleigh'," Leas sang for the deeper part, then lightened up a little as Deryn joined him for the rest of the narration.

"Up beside the bag of toys little joey hopped,
But they hadn't gone far when Santa stopped
Unharnessed all the reindeer and Joey wondered why
Then he heard a far off booming in the sky."

The two stopped to glance at the boombox, then shrugged at each other and went on, Deryn trying out the wobble board.

"Six white boomers, snow white boomers!
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun!
Six white boomers, snow white boomers!
On his Australian run!"

Kumori mused, "I wouldn't put this past her sober." She took another sip of lemonade.

Georgia happily sung at the top of her lungs, occasionally singing the same lyrics as Cassie through sheer dumb luck, while making words up to suit her favourite carols as she went along. "Suevian yells! Suevian yells! Sue's yellling all day! Stick a dagger in their throats and drag them the rest of the way, hey!"


"Oh, good Lord," Kumori muttered under her breath.

"Come an' join in, mates!" With that, she launched into another song, although she stopped every few words to quibble over them with Georgia.

Nat shook her head. "Well, at least she's happy. Maybe Georgia can keep her distracted long enough to stop her having flashbacks."

"Or... drunk... enough, maybe," Kelvin added, although he had just found some Elven wine and was sipping appreciatively.

"and the Canon shall reign forever more. Let Fandom and Canon sing~ Let Fandom and Canon sing! Let Fandom, and Canon, and Canon sing~!"

Kumori's mouth dropped open. "What the hell is she doing now?"

"Joy to the world! The Sue 's dead! No more glitter in the reservoir!"

((Hope it's ok that I borrowed it. Sorry.))

...and nodded sympathetically. "That does sound pretty bad." He looked around. "I wonder where everyone else is. I'm sure there were more Agents than this..."

He was cut off as Cassie began to sing, very loudly and ever-so-slightly off-key.

"Joy to the world, the 'Sue 's dead, 'n' Canon is restored..."

The Elf winced. "What in Arda is that?"

"She couldn't have been worse than the Sue we just finished up dealing with. X/1999 'fic with the Sue after Kamui. She used the sister-as-a-plot-device three seperate times and beat up Fuuma without breaking a sweat. One of the sisters wasn't so bad though, nothing too 'Sueish by CLAMP standards and just a plot device really, so we rescued her but..." Kumori made a complicated hand guesture above her head, possibly meant to show how annoyed she was by the mission or maybe how annoying the rescued character was. "Morbid little kid, lemme tell ya. But it's over now, at least."

***

Georgia had a tenative sip of her rhum. "Aye, mate. Gotcha."

"The most horrible mission, lately. I don't know when the report's coming out, but it was just... awful."

Kelvin nodded fervently. "Cassie went berserk. And as for what she did to the Sue..." He shuddered. "I don't want to talk about it."

Nat agreed. "A nasty one, that was." She fell silent for a second, then perked up. "Anyway. How about you, Kumori? Anything interesting happened lately?"

***

Cassie grinned and took a swig of rhum. "It's not that alcoholic, mate," she said, slurring her words slightly. " But it does have this very interesting little side effect you may have noticed, namely that of making you talk like ol' Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"

"Is it alcoholic? We can't tell Kumori is it's alcoholic. Otherwise, sure!" She grabbed herself a glass.

Back over with Nat and Kelvin, Kumori wrinkled her nose. "I don't drink... Have they got anything non-alco- ah, they do!" She poured herself a glass of lemonade and smiled half-heartedly at Nat. "So what have you and your lot been up to?"

"I'm great, thanks. I haven't got any yet, and I've just given a general group present of chocolate for everyone. And yeah, I'm having fun all right!" She grinned and produced a bottle of rhum*. "Want some?"

Back over by the calm end of the room, Kelvin nodded. "That would be on the Console, then?"

Nat sighed. "Yes. Now let's try celebrating, eh?" She snagged a Sonic Screwdriver and looked enquiringly over at Kumori. "What do you fancy?"

*Yes, that is spelled correctly.

*dons hat* So, who wants to start on the bad jokes first?