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These are even more confusing than most badfic. I mean, it's almost impossible to tell what is the story and what are the author's notes. Do these people have any concept of how to construct a story...okay, I guess not. Still, *wanders away, muttering*

"Flaming Denethor".

Not sure what it is, but it has to be served on fire.

"Didn't mean don't want sorry!" he babbled.

Sara emerged from the crowd, looking both slightly amused and a little worried. She carried a cup of steaming liquid, which she handed to Zach.

"Drink," she ordered, and he obeyed.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized to Marcus when the cup was empty. "I was being chased by these crazy poking ladies and...well...yeah," he finished unhappily and oddly triumphantly, considering he could now speak in complete sentences. Sara tensed, ready to diffuse another fight.

We can call it "Brutal, Orcish Energy"? Maybe?

Lord of the Rings, Elf Draught
Tall glass
Three shots of miruvour
Shot of Dorwinion wine
Loads of ice, fill with water/Sprite/whatever and whatever garnish, preferably a flower.

Cassie and Nat arrived about a second later. They heard Marcus' little speech and hauled the younger man upright very quickly. Nat pulled him a little distance away, while Cassie helped Marcus upright, though she nearly tripped and her face got uncomfortably close to his for a moment, making her blush furiously.

Kelvin, who had spotted the problem, excused himself hurriedly and came hurrying over. "Can I help at all?"

Cassie nodded. "Maybe get another drink for him? Zach seems to have spilled the last one." Kelvin nodded and zipped off, returning moments later with a full glass, which he handed over quickly.

Nearby, Nat was trying to get Zach, who was acting very oddly, to calm down.

Marcus had been minding his own business, thirst mostly satisfied and drink in hand, moving through the party while occasionally dancing or otherwise enjoying himself, though he focused more on getting back to where he'd left Kumori and Kelvin than much else.

Of course, when someone came out of bloody nowhere and smashed into him, knocking him over and landing on top of him, it sort of dampened his mood. If he'd been prepared he might've been able to avoid being knocked to the floor with the other person. However, he'd been taken by surprise, causing him to fall to the floor and the drink to go flying out of his hand, landing on the floor a short distance away and spilling its contents.

That was the third time all party he'd been knocked into and/or bowled over, and once he regained his bearings (though failing to recognise the Agent on top of him) he found his hands clenching into fists.

"I dunno who the hell you are," he said to the Agent, a threatening edge to his voice. "But you have exactly three seconds to get off me, before I kick your arse so badly you'll be in Medical for a month!"

If he'd been thinking a little more clearly, he would've realised this reaction might not have been entirely reasonable, but he wasn't thinking clearly. Instead, all he could think of was that if this person didn't let him up he was going to headbutt them until their teeth fell out. He'd simply had enough of random people knocking him around, whatever he'd said about fighting at the party earlier be damned.

Besides, this guy made me spill my drink.

...frantically trying to escape the two evil pokers that were hard on his heels.

"'Scuse pardon my sorry oops!" he muttered as he dodged other agents. He chanced a glance back over his shoulder.

"Oof!" he yelped as he ran straight into someone. He flailed as he tried to regain his balance, but failed, taking the person down with him.

"S'ry Marcus."

"Did... that make any sense to you?" Nat asked Cassie.

"Um. No?"

They stared at Zach, who seemed to be using the opportunity to escape. They dashed after him. Although they were having fun, they didn't want him to end up getting hurt.

"Not fair tickle poke monkeys drink spiked partner WHY?!" Zach howled through laughter, struggling to break free of the women.

...and then looked at each other for a moment, identical grins spreading across their faces.

"Get him!" Cassie yelled, and charged Zach. Nat was only a moment behind. They pinned him between them and began poking and tickling mercilessly.

...and began poking Cassie as well.

"Two hands for something!" he chortled, but the other two managed to understand his broken sentence.

He backed away from Nat's and Cassie's retaliating pokes, trying to block them and attack them at the same time.

"Bugger barrel two attack not fair!" he laughed, and the two stopped.

"What?"

Zach used their momentary distraction to poke them squarely in the stomach.

...then glared at him. This quickly turned into a giggle as she dodged another poke, and then she attempted to poke back.

However, Cassie had spotted Zach's move, and thought it seemed like a good idea. Nat looked like she was about to get mysteriously angsty again. Grinning her thanks to the young man, she poked the lanky girl herself.

Nat squealed again and tried to bat them both away, giggling.

...Zach was no longer annoyed at his partner for having spiked his drink. In fact, he was having a fantastic time. He noticed Nat seemed a bit forced in her cheer, though, and so did the only thing his loopy brain could think of. He let go of her hand for a moment, then poked her in the side.

"You. Cheer. Happy. Yay?" he chuckled, amused by his own inability to speak in complete sentences.

Nat was actually having quite a good time. It had been quite a while since she'd dragged anyone out to dance- nearly two years, in fact... but she wasn't going to go there now. Notgoingnotgoingnotgoing... Not. Going.

She took a deep breath, blinked hard, and grinned at Zach. "Oi, we're leaving Cass out." She grabbed her partner's hand and dragged her in to make a kind-of circle.

Cassie glanced at Zach, offered him a sheepish smile and took his free hand. A few moments later she was jumping around more or less in time with the beat of the music, singing along and grinning.

Next to her, Nat was doing the same, though her grin seemed just a little forced.

"I, uh, I really don't..."

Despite his protests of having two left feet and babbled stories about his clumsiness, Zach found himself dragged onto the dance floor.

"Why does this always happen to me?" he asked no one in particular, noticing idly that Nat was about his height and was awful pretty, and hey, he was kinda enjoying dancing and...

"Sara! What did you put in my drink?!"

"Nothing!" his partner caroled from somewhere in the crowd, and he would have facepalmed if his hands had not been otherwise engaged with his dance partner.

"She knows I'm a total lightweight..." he grumbled, allowing himself to be led on by Nat.

I did get a one-a-day calender of The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said, though. And lots of shiny chocolate. And a laptop, so I can write in places other than my bedroom and still be able to read it later! (I love my parents.)

There's always ren faires.

My youngest sister and I got a t-shirt that says "Your Intelligence is Stupid". It is quite common to think that of the Sues you meet.

Since WikiMaster was sick of Retconitis (apparently, his author found out he was 'over the top' and tried to delete him), the Keeper of Fanfics, a DIY Chaos Daemon created as an emissary to the PPC was sent to the Christmas party in his stead. Savoring the food and drink laid out before him, he was having a very good time until he saw the Space Marine.

Not ready for a fight, he spread printed copies of Legendary Goodfic in a circle around himself, and begean negotiations with the Ironic Overpower to keep himself from being noticed.

He blinked and shook his head, then, as if remembering something, pulled out a little bottle of Bleeprin and took a few tablets. After a few moments, he visibly improved, and smiled. "There. At least something works properly. Where were we?"

"Well, if you tried to hold her back, you shouldn't get in trouble at least... And the PPC is so short staffed that they probably won't get in too much trouble either, but still." It took a moment for her fake whistle to register with the Agent but when it did she smacked her forehead and muttered about too much CLAMP. "Anyway, I wouldn't worry about things too much. They have their ways of working out on their own." She raised and eyebrow at Kelvin's appearance. "You don't look too great, wanna sit down somewhere?"

"Well, you see, the thing is..." He looked around, then leaned closer and lowered his voice. "I think the Flowers might know. The Console made a rather loud noise just after we left to come here, and I don't know if the other two heard it and just ignored it, or if they didn;t hear it. It sounded rather angry."

He straightened back up and flipped his hair back over his shoulder. "And I really do not want to describe what she did." He looked rather ill, which was saying something, given his natural constitution.

"Wow. You tried to hold her back? What'd she end up doing to the 'Sue?" On one hand, it could be something really terrible that would even scare her. On the other hand, it could be that due to Kelvin's rookie-ness, he was disgusted by something completely normal for the PPC. "If she did anything too bad, she would have gotten in trouble with the Flowers That Be, right?"

"Oh, yes. I don't know about settling in well, mind you, but it's been a very... typical.. introduction to the PPC, I've been told. Nat said I wasn't likely to see a mission quite so bad unless I got a Legendary Badfic. I think she was exaggerating a bit, though. I've heard about those, they do seem quite awful." He stopped, then grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I didn't answer your question. The mission was, well, pretty unpleasant. Cassie was unimpressed, to say the least." He revealed a bruise on his arm and several fingernail marks. "Well, when I say unimpressed..." He shuddered and looked slightly sickened. "And I swear to Eru, I never want to see what she did to that Sue done to a living being again."